Not so serious

Forgive me while I rant. This is my only forum to express my disgust with b.s and while reading remember that I'm sick and possibly should be on medication but I'm not so I'm more cranky than usual.

So this week a 13 year old healthy kid died of H1N1 here in Toronto. It just came out of the blue and in the relative blink of an eye he was dead. This part of the story caught my eye.

His dad took him to a walk-in clinic on Sunday afternoon, where he was seen and sent home with advice to take some over-the-counter medication.

After my experience this morning at a walk-in clinic I sort of see why stuff like that could possibly happen here. Yes people are overly panicked about H1N1 (thank you mass media) but at the same time I think (some) Health Care professionals in Toronto are the other side of the coin where there aren't panicked or caring enough.

I've been sick for a few days. Disclaimer I don't think I have H1N1 or any real flu for that matter but I am legitimately sick. Got soaked last Thursday and Friday evenings. Started with a bit of a shortness of breath over the weekend but not enough to put a dent in my activities, progressed into a cough on Monday, a major lethargy yesterday, and waking up this morning at 4 in the morning with coughing and a tightness in the chest, wheezing and gasping for breath.

Sounds bad doesn't it? Well it is but it isn't. I've been a lot worse and still made it to work. I mean I feel sick but I'm not bedridden.

Anyway when my wife woke up and heard my wheezing, she suggested I should go to the doctor. Said it sounded like I have some sort of bronchial infection. I kinda brushed her off though cause I've been sick enough times in Canada to know that most doctors want to hear you are coughing up dark green to brown Flem, have a temperature so high your name should be Johnny Storm or Johnny Blaze and sneezing to the point of distraction before they take you seriously when you have cold/flu symptoms. I get it, I do really. It's that a lot of folk panic about the slightest symptom and take up your valuable time. So you tend to want to see folks really really sick before you take them serious. Ok then. I'm not saying that is a good way to operate just that it is how it is.

So initially I said naa I'm not going to the doctor and when asked I gave her the reasons that they would poo poo my symptom because it was just that at the moment, really one symptom. Mind you in my opinion not being able to breathe properly is one doozy of a symptom but still I kinda figured they'd tell me some crap about rest and orange juice and that would be it.

Still as the morning progressed and I got dressed and ready for my day it became apparent that this breathing thing wasn't going away so I reconsidered and went to a Walk-in Clinic.

As expected, its flu season so I sat around in the waiting room for a good 2 hrs before seeing the doctor.

Now lets digress a moment to the whole waiting room experience. Yes lets have all the folks who have flu, cough and cold symptoms sit around marinating in a flimsy mask for two hours while coughing, heaving and sneezing. I ain't claiming to be as smart as these medical people that study for 10 -15 years to get qualified but why yes that would be my first solution to ward off any possibility of spreading these diseases and causing a pandemic. Just let all the germs co-mingle for as long as possible and maybe we'll nip this in the bud. Maybe my germs will fight with the viruses that another sniffling guy has and then winner takes on the perennially coughing lady's pathogens and hopefully get killed while body slamming them. Swine flu lik up regular flu will beat down and mash up Bird Flu and all disease wipe out one time! Brilliant strategy! Absolutely brilliant! Tell me these people don't deserve a Nobel prize.

And the folks who don't have any flu like ailments but maybe came into the walk-in clinic for something else well obviously sitting around in that melting pot of disease will just build up their immunity to these foreign antibodies right? So they can go forth and not spread any germs to others. Yea right!

And on the subject of a mask they make you wear while waiting to see the doctor. So a fella goes in to the clinic and says he has problems breathing and as medical professionals obviously your first thought is give him a mask to cover his nose and mouth which further restricts his breathing, increases his wheezing and has him sounding like Darth Vader. Way to go people! First class thinking outside the box. I'm glad our sharpest minds are on these health problems aren't you?

Anyway I finally got in to see the doctor after waiting two hours. My germs were still standing and might actually have made friends with some of the other viruses in the waiting room only time will tell. I told the doctor, who had the bedside manner of House by the way, my symptoms, she checks my breathing with a stethoscope on my back and chest all the while I feel myself laboring to take those deep breaths that are required. She also sticks that little lolly stick thing into my mouth and looks down my throat and then surprisingly she announces that she hears nothing wrong with my chest or breathing and that I might be on the tail end of a virus but I'm not bad off so take the rest of the day off, go home and take some Tylenol (over the counter medication, see quote from 13 year olds story above) and take lots of liquids.

Damn I should either be a doctor or a psychic cause see how I self-diagnose and predict what the doctor was going to tell me. Move over Ms Cleo, enter Mr Jdid. Call me now!

And I mean I do get it. I'm not the danger cohort of old people and young kids, I'm normally relatively healthy and I only have one symptom, the NOT BEING ABLE TO BREATHE PROPERLY THING and I don't think I have H1N1 but my symptom in my opinion is a pretty bad one and I'm not trying to waste anyone's time here but I do feel unwell and it is a possibility that I have some sort of bronchial issue. But like I said its just one symptom and its most likely not H1N1 cause I don't have a fever and the rest of symptoms so its alright to just ignore me. Thanks a lot I mean cause obviously I must be faking it and just like to go waste time putting myself at risk in the waiting room surrounded by other sick persons. Yea thanks.

Anyways that was my rant. Total dissatisfaction with the health care provided me, thank you doctor for taking my concerns so seriously. NOT! And yes while I ain't saying that I dying, I'm saying that I can see how someone with legit cold or flu symptoms or H1N1 could get passed by in this health system.

That is that. I gine hayso and self medicate.

New movies

For years I knew Hollywood was scratching the bottom of the barrel looking for movie ideas but today I see this one and all I could do was shake my head.

"Fringe" co-producer/writer Brad Caleb Kane will be writing a movie based on the View-Master toy, which first came on the market in 1939.

allya remember viewmasters? Well if ya around my age you should anyways.



But how ya duz base a movie starting with the premise viewmaster? Wha kinda plot that is? I mean if ya say a fella was looking thru he viewmaster an the images come to life that is different but base the movie simply on the viewmaster? wha dat soun like bare igrance, which probably means it will be a summer blockbuster.

Look if allya hardup for stories in holywood come check me ya kno. I have stories fa days an decades. Blockbuster can mek money type stories. So holla at me Hollywood. Doan let we start this Viewmaster thing now. I mean is bad enuff wunnah already looking to mek a Barbie movie. Looka muh crosses!

Dog Sweaters

Well the weather is getting cold up in these parts again. Actually its probably been a little colder than normal but one thing I realize about Toronto weather these days is that abnormal is the new normal. A so it go!

Anyway last week was pretty cold as mid-October goes and as I was walking along the streets of downtown Toronto I saw numerous dog walkers out with their charges decked out in dog sweaters. Y'all ever see dogs in sweaters walking bout looking like mini-people? Well boy I gine tell ya it can be quite laughable at times.

But watching these dogs in their sweaters the other evening I had one of those random strange thoughts that sometimes pass through mi brain. (Well they tell me them random and strange but to me they seem quite logical.)

Is how come they covering up the dog shoulders and belly with a sweater but the dog particulars (genitals) duz be expose to the world and the cold so?

My wife tell me I is an idiot for asking the question cause ya cant put pants on a dog and have the dog mess up the pants but I aint buying that at all.

See the way I see it and from the human experience putting myself in the dog shoes if the weather cold and I have a choice I would much prefer to have my genitals covered than my shoulders and arms. Aint that true? So why these people dont put a pair a pants pun these poodles and puppies? Ya feel de dog dont be feeling cold down there like a human wud? Especially since that area dont got nuh big lotta fur like the resta de dog body.

And if not dog pants then why not dog underwear or better yet dog diapers? I see a business opportunity presenting itself boy. Lemma guh get a patient before allya tief my dog diaper idea.

But come on man think about it, this is cruelty to dem poor defenseless, unable to talk creatures. How come PETA neva say nuttin bout the cruelty of dogs walking bout in sweaters but no pants yet? Wha dat is cruel an unusual treatment. No but Peta stan silent but let me eat a lil hamburger or Obama kill a lil mosquito and fellas wanta jump in we chest huh? I tell ya them fellas misguided or maybe they get pay off by the Dog sweater poeple cause pants and underwear for dogs should be a big big issue and they letting this thing slide meanwhile poor Rover and Spot walking bout wid their behinds expose to the world in minus God knows who weather. Ya think shrinkage in a pool for a fella duz be cruel, imagine how it must be for them poor canines facing this cold weather while their masters take leisurely strolls.

cheese on den, i barely blink an next ting i know sumbody already tief mi dog diaper idea.

Nobel

Now doan get me wrong. I still like the Obama fella but I really really scratching mi head ova wha he do to deserve to win a Nobel Peace prize today. Especially considering that dem say the deadline for the submission was sometime in late January or so just two weeks into his actual presidency.

I mean dem start giving Nobel prizes based on potential now like NBA draft pick positions? Cause the man aint really do nuttin in my opinion to win this prize and lewwe not go down that potential path cause doan let me gotta tell wunnah how that work out some years in the NBA wid fellas like Olawakandi, Andrew Bogut and Kwame Browne getting number one picks.

I mean in all fairness Obama is better than Bush and he's trying (even if not really succeeding by my standards anyways) but still wha um is he do to get a Nobel Peace prize? Ya mean to say the other competition was suh weak dat he run way wid um so?

Wait or is wunnah feel that at the Nobel prize presentation ceremony Kanye West gine jump up pun the stage tek the mic from Obama and tell we who shudda really really win this award?

Well boy I aint kno but I hayso trying to figure um out and could only conclude that the Nobel committee was trying to manners President Obama. And yes he is now well manners-ed. Allya might look at me like wha you talkin bout Jdid but let me explain.

I simply tellin wunnah dat dem sneaky Nobel fellas tek a leaf outta Dubya book an this is a preemptive strike. See by giving Obama the Peace prize now he cant guh an start nuh sorta wars nuh time soon. He hands tied. Lock off, tie down, under heavy manners, restricted, manners-ed.

Ya cud juss see Obama standing up by the whiteboard in de Oval office this morning, after receiving the news, wid he to do list chupsing and vex vex vex.

- lets see now hmmm invade Iran and give dem Ayatolla bwoy a good beating. chupse! gotta cross dat out now.

- Yes I, send more troops to Afghanistan to lash dem Tailiban rudebwoy, mek dem guhway! cha, cant even do that.

- Invade North Ko...... nope nope cant even think about that one now

- ah ha! rough up that likkle (insert relevant clot) yout Chavez down in a South America. (Advisor shakes head.) mi ave fi cross dat one deya off too? cha mi cant even rough im up likkle bit?

- Lash anudda fly in a de studio. What! how ya mean PETA would consider that an act of war. Mi ave fi cross dat wun out too?

- Invade Canada and annex Alberta to get some oil.... well naa, well umm , ummm well maybe, naa, well. see mi, mi will leave that fi now. I really dont think anyone would notice if I do it though.

Another example

Sorry to make this a celebrity blog the last few days (but since nuhbody aint reading anyways then whatever) .

Let me just briefly talk bout this David Letterman thing. Talk show host David Letterman get on his show last week and came clean about him having relationships with women who used to work for him in the past. Basically it came out cause somebody was blackmailing him.

While I feel for him and all that clearly he is being handled with the celebrity gloves (which are even softer than kids gloves by the way) cause seriously having relations with lackeys and underlings is just a really really bad thing to do. This aint no Mad Men era. This is 2009. Any other non-celebrity boss who was doing something like, even if they come clean and sounded contrite would probably have been shown the door for that inappropriate behaviour. I mean this is David Letterman, as weird looking as he looks he's famous as anyone in the showbiz world and it's not like the man would be hard done to find some chicks outside the workplace to have relations with.

But since he is a ratings magnet, CBS is dealing with him like nothing happened. Just lets pretend there is nothing to see here and it will go away.

And before someone says oh shut up its his personal business who cares. Well it is his personal business but its an ethical breech of code. If he was picking up random chicks or dudes in a bar , then that is a personal thing but when ya hitting on coworkers and staff thats just not only messed up its wrong.

But its not like Dave's going be fired or even reprimanded. So whatever

Polanski

I still trying to understand this whole Roman Polanski arrest thing. This thing just got me scratching my head.

No is not that he just get arrest although I seriously wondering why dem aint try and get he lil sooner. Um is that people in Hollywood actually signing petitions in support of a man that openly admit that he commit statutory rape.

I mean doan get me wrong, I think summa dese young girls way too fast an forceripe but come on man, a 43 year old man sleeping wid a 13 year old? That is beyond ridiculous. A man old enuff to be she father. A man old enough to have seen life and to know right from wrong.

No man no excuses at all cant save he. he cudda been drunk, high, or mad an I still find his acts inexcusable.

An den de man plead guilty and run away from the law like he feel he name Dr Kimble in de Fugitive. Yet these people like Whoopi Goldberg and Woody Allen etc got the audacity to support he. Well Woody Allen I aint surprised bout cause he got a freakiness in he too sleeping wid he adopted daughter or step daughter or whatever um was. Sick sick people. Doan let me even mention the rumours bout Morgan Freeman cause he is a fella dat really mek muh shame lately.

But back to Polanski. Boy celebrity status is a ting aint it? You dun know if this was you, me or Joe sixpack that was accused a this crime and had plead guilty and then went on the lam and end up in France working in somebody vineyard or at somebody factory mekkin shoelaces or door handles that nuhbody din signing nuh petition fa we. Everybody wud be like well he do the crime an he deserve ta guh jail and let the other criminals deal wid he. I lie?

But cause this Polanski fella is a man dat mek summuch an summuch movies now he special, so we should gi he a pass. Man hell no. Let he guhlong ta court and face justice just like everybody else.

Wunnah hollywood people need jesus that is wha. Supporting a criminal like he so dat troubling lil girls. shame shame on wunnah.