Have you ever been speaking to or in the presence of someone who you were sure was pregnant just because of the way they looked only to later find out that you were mistaken?
No I not trying to diss fat people cause all fat people dont look pregnant and at the same time all pregnant people up to a certain stage dont look fat. No what I'm talking about is when the stomach fat sits a certain way and it just looks like the person is pregnant.
Why I'm asking is because I almost made a major faux pax and almost asked a lady that I thought was pregnant when she's due.
It was a few weeks back. I had to go see this lady in another office to get something done. So to expediate the matter and since everytime I go into that office I does get greeted by all sort of screw face people I decide I going in and try to be extra nice and the like.
When I get there she was seated but her belly was big and round and I thought well I guess she pregnant so maybe I should try and steer the conversation towards kids cause I dont know if you know but that is a good way to bond with people.
Yes I just find that out since having the yout last year. All a sudden people that didnt used to talk ta ya, especially women, once they know that you have a child they duz start telling you all their children stories. Everybody duz have advice and stories about daycare and feeding and changing and potty training and diapers and baby medicine and all sort of thing so. Its like a special club that you dont know exist until you have a child. The stories duz just start to flow once they hear that you now have children. Not that I personally want to hear those stories but ya duz just have to stand there and shake ya head and nod and say oh and act like ya really interested.
So when I see this lady looking pregnant I say well maybe I should steer the converstaion towards kids, mayb ask her when she going on maternity leave or something so in order for her to realize that I'm a friendly fella so she wouldnt be always looking vex whenever i walk in her office.
Well boy all I can say is a good thing I never do that cause a week later I see her walking around and she didnt look pregnant to me at all. Imagine now if I had asked her when she due or when she going on maternity leave. Cuhdear she might have cuss me or throw something at me.
So yea let me know if you ever been a situation like that where you thought somebody was pregnant open ya mout too fast and realize ya mek a mistake.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Thursday, February 22, 2007
This and that
- Saw the funniest exchange this morning between two old ladies on University Ave in front of the hospitals. One lady was about 5'8" and the other was about 4'11". So as I passed by the taller lady said "You're wearing my coat and I'm wearing yours" as she pulled at the shorter lady's coat. I was fully expecting her to try to exchange coats right there on the sidewalk. Actually I'm not sure if they did, it was too cold and windy and I wasn't waiting around to watch.
- Breaking news!! No nothing to do with that eediat that chop off she hair. No. My man Obadele Thompson is marrying Marion Jones! and not only that but Jones is expecting! Wow! Good thing I never really post off my thoughts on Jones (or maybe I did but I cant find them anymore) cause I cant disrespect a fellow HC bredren. Actually if it was anyone else but Oba I think I'd probably have made this one into a fairly sarcastic post but dude gets enough flack from the bajan public and politicians already and as far as I remember from back in the day he's a good guy so respect due and I wish him and Marion nothing but the best of luck.
- Cranky I did a check and I did post on the Black History Month thing last year. Not much has changed on my feelings there and occurrences like the one at Wilfrid Laurier that Straight from Scarborough spoke on recently (which seems to have not gotten much coverage at all) still show why some Canadians need an education on other cultures. Yes sir its just like Kanye said 'Racism's still alive they just be concealing it'.
- This had me laughing yesterday. Found it on Radmila's blog. All I can say is Lysol that's ruff.
- Saw a street kid on Queen St W yesterday begging for change with this sign "Need money for Penis Enlargement. I keep coming up short". Was tempted as I walked by to say either "Bredren I think I can spare ya a lil something" or "Star so is you that tief my sign". lol
- Breaking news!! No nothing to do with that eediat that chop off she hair. No. My man Obadele Thompson is marrying Marion Jones! and not only that but Jones is expecting! Wow! Good thing I never really post off my thoughts on Jones (or maybe I did but I cant find them anymore) cause I cant disrespect a fellow HC bredren. Actually if it was anyone else but Oba I think I'd probably have made this one into a fairly sarcastic post but dude gets enough flack from the bajan public and politicians already and as far as I remember from back in the day he's a good guy so respect due and I wish him and Marion nothing but the best of luck.
- Cranky I did a check and I did post on the Black History Month thing last year. Not much has changed on my feelings there and occurrences like the one at Wilfrid Laurier that Straight from Scarborough spoke on recently (which seems to have not gotten much coverage at all) still show why some Canadians need an education on other cultures. Yes sir its just like Kanye said 'Racism's still alive they just be concealing it'.
- This had me laughing yesterday. Found it on Radmila's blog. All I can say is Lysol that's ruff.
- Saw a street kid on Queen St W yesterday begging for change with this sign "Need money for Penis Enlargement. I keep coming up short". Was tempted as I walked by to say either "Bredren I think I can spare ya a lil something" or "Star so is you that tief my sign". lol
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
By your command
Riding the bus/train just aint the same anymore with TTC. Everything going automated and computerized and machinized these days.
First
they adding new security cameras on the buses. A sign of the times I
guess. What with one driver getting shot last year and others being
attacked on late night routes by hoodlums I guess its a necessity.
Still is like a man cant even sneeze without being caught up on film.
Is like I have my own personal paparazzi everytime I'm on the bus. Enough to make a man feel like a Top Celebrity. :-)
Then
they have a pilot project using GPS
to announce every bus stop on the routes these days. Got a sort of
robotic female sounding voice doing the announcements accompanied by an
LCD display and flashing lights. Its not a bad idea because at least if
you are unfamiliar with where you are and somebody tell you to get off
the bus at a certain spot you wont be totally reliant on the driver who
may or may not have a clue as to where it is you say you want to
disembark. That is assuming the computer and GPS know what they doing.
Sometimes I am not too sure bout these computer things.
They
also have the same robotic voice in the subway which is good cause
occasionally in the morning the conductors used to royally screw up the
station name. See we just reach Broadview and the man announcing St George or Yonge
St already. Making half sleeping transit riders wake up and dash out
the door only to realize they still 5 stations short of the mark.
Chupse!
So yea all this automation stuff might actually have a purpose.
But
what had me yesterday on the way home was that the train I was in had
another type of robotic voice. I don't know if it was that the
usual robot voice call in sick or she had a bad sore throat or they
were trying out a new voice but it didn't sound like the usual voice
at all. Instead I could have sworn that the voice they using was from
one of those Cylons from the old Battlestar Galactica.
Ya remember the old Battlestar Galactica;
Lorne Greene, Richard Hatch not the Survivor fella the other one, Dirk
Benedict when Starbuck was a man
not a woman? Well yes the automated voice they were using on the subway
sounded just like that. It was scary let me tell ya cause I was
expecting to see the subway doors open and a couple a Cylons bust through the door and start letting off phasers
or blasters or whatever it was that they used.
Oh well who knows what was really happening. I mean Cylons got to work and support they families too so I cant fault a fellow.
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First
they adding new security cameras on the buses. A sign of the times I
guess. What with one driver getting shot last year and others being
attacked on late night routes by hoodlums I guess its a necessity.
Still is like a man cant even sneeze without being caught up on film.
Is like I have my own personal paparazzi everytime I'm on the bus. Enough to make a man feel like a Top Celebrity. :-)
Then
they have a pilot project using GPS
to announce every bus stop on the routes these days. Got a sort of
robotic female sounding voice doing the announcements accompanied by an
LCD display and flashing lights. Its not a bad idea because at least if
you are unfamiliar with where you are and somebody tell you to get off
the bus at a certain spot you wont be totally reliant on the driver who
may or may not have a clue as to where it is you say you want to
disembark. That is assuming the computer and GPS know what they doing.
Sometimes I am not too sure bout these computer things.
They
also have the same robotic voice in the subway which is good cause
occasionally in the morning the conductors used to royally screw up the
station name. See we just reach Broadview and the man announcing St George or Yonge
St already. Making half sleeping transit riders wake up and dash out
the door only to realize they still 5 stations short of the mark.
Chupse!
So yea all this automation stuff might actually have a purpose.
But
what had me yesterday on the way home was that the train I was in had
another type of robotic voice. I don't know if it was that the
usual robot voice call in sick or she had a bad sore throat or they
were trying out a new voice but it didn't sound like the usual voice
at all. Instead I could have sworn that the voice they using was from
one of those Cylons from the old Battlestar Galactica.
Ya remember the old Battlestar Galactica;
Lorne Greene, Richard Hatch not the Survivor fella the other one, Dirk
Benedict when Starbuck was a man
not a woman? Well yes the automated voice they were using on the subway
sounded just like that. It was scary let me tell ya cause I was
expecting to see the subway doors open and a couple a Cylons bust through the door and start letting off phasers
or blasters or whatever it was that they used.
Oh well who knows what was really happening. I mean Cylons got to work and support they families too so I cant fault a fellow.
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" border="0">
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
happy valentines
Happy valentines to all my readers. If ya dont celebrate the day ignore the greeting. If ya single dont let nobody mek ya feel bad about being single on this day. Do ya thing. nuff said.
And on another note. This is my 2 & 1/2 year blogversary. Its been a long time.
And on another note. This is my 2 & 1/2 year blogversary. Its been a long time.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
They say
My name is Ellie Mae from Mobile, Alabama
and I just want to say since listenin' to Kanye's workout tape
I been able to date outside the family, I got a double wide
And I row the plain, row the plain, row the plain
A.N.S in the video for Kayne West's New Work Out Plan
They say she dead.
That was probably the only thing they say that they were sure of.
They say she dead cause she lose 65 lbs quick quick quick soon after the baby born. They say woman bodies shouldn't be going through all that change so quick after baby born cause is all hormones and heap a woman business still going on as body trying to readjust itself after 9 months a pregnancy. That quick weight loss cant be proper they say especially since she ain't do it natural but use some sort of slim fast trim fast drug business to lose the weight. No star dat nuh right.
But no they say it wasnt the drugs it was Kayne's workout plan that make her lose the weight (see intro quote). But they still say the weight lost not natural and that is what kill her. Poor Kayne he a scapegoat fi everybody.
Then they say no it ain't the weight loss is that she had depression cause soon after the chile did born she first born dead under mysterious circumstances and dat added on to the post partum depression from the chile birth tek she over the edge. She just couldn't deal wid all the issues and dem kill her.
They say she do drugs, she did love off alcohol more than some a dem old fellas you wud see in a corner shop every day that have more rum in dem veins than blood.
Plus they claim say dem find powder in she room and it wasn't no Johnson & Johnson business like the old ladies duz put on dem face to go church wid or the young girls duz dash on dem bosom for when they walking down Broad Street. No sar! It was powder of a different kind. They say they tek it now to the lab for testing and wonder if Horatio from CSI-Miami a deal wid de case cause dem CSI bwoy would get to the bottom of this in under an hour.
Then they say no is somebody kill she. Murderation! They say rumor and speculation insist that she did onto something and somebody find she did on to this something and bram! just like she son went under mysterious circumstances a so she a go. They say is conspiracy like when X files did good. She get too close to the truth. They say if she did smart shewudda did do like granny say "See n Blind, Hear n Deaf". But no she musse talk out the business and de wrong somebody find out that she find out and dem silence her. Blouse n Skirt!
Then they say no it is to do with the case against her where somebody suing her and the diet company. They claim that the diet pillsnuh work like she claim say they work. They say diet pills more fraudulent than Miss Cleo (call me now!) Dem nuh do nuttin just tek foolish people money and mek other people rich. Yes that is what they say.
They say well she come from nothing and look how she end up. They say she was trying to be Marilyn Monroe but she lack de class. They say she cant walk in Marilyn high heels at all cause Marilyn was Marilyn. She was just a poor imitation or some big word I cant pronounce properly. A ca-ca-ca caricature or something so. I cant really be too sure if that is what they say cause I cant understanddem big word too good.
They say it was just all about the money for her. Yes she would do anything for money. Look how she marry off that old old fella that could be she great-grandfather and send 'im long to 'im grave early. Well if ya consider reaching 100 early. Then is over a decade now and still they say that she an the man pickney a fight over money. They say the man have more money than three Oprah Winfrey combine and so as she was the widow she want half. But the children say no the father never want she to have half and she only deserve alikkle piece no big 1/2 a billion dollars like the judge award she. That is what they say.
They say she was a real man eater just watch off the TV show wid her. They say she just run down nuff man on the television show to jump them bones. Doan ask me I never watch the show I just telling ya what they say. They say it was reality TV and if that was how she can go and get on with cameras following her about when you would figure she tone it down a bit imagine how crazy she must act when no camera around. They saynuff slackness a gwan on dat show. Mek me say I must try catch dat in rerun and see for myself what dem a talk bout. Just cause I don't like all the hearsay business I man prefer to see for myself and come to my own conclusion.
They say they no know who the pickney fadda! They say like she didn't know either. What a ting! She claim say is one man but another man claim it is his and now from what they say it look like two other man show up on the scene to claim to be the fadda too. They say she should a gwan on Maury and get a DNA test to figure that out before she dead. They say now chile will go through all set of legal issues and turn rag doll for people to fight custody battle over. Poor chile!
But is how come so many man a run say dem a de chile father they say? This must be the most wanted baby in the world! Cause ya know usually man duz be quick to say no it ain't mine, the chile never favor me, she trying to pin jacket pun me, I never sleep wid her, she lying, is not me is my twin brother from another mudda that wunnah never meet yet that pose off like me and get her pregnant. Yes they say man always have excuse for why dem not the chile fadda so it seem funny that so many man rushing up to claim fatherhood for this baby.
Oh wait they say. Yes the chile will inherit all the mudda money. Is just man look for quick money ting now. Alright den, that explain it.
Yea bwoy they say a whole heap a tings about her. They say she was a actress but she couldn't act. They say she was just one of them people that you wasn't quite sure why she was famous or why ya should care about her but she was always in the news.
They say so much about her that I know more about her now dead than when she was alive.
Well, they say she dead, they say nuff other things too but that was probably the only thing they say that they were sure of. Rumor & Speculation a so it a go!
and I just want to say since listenin' to Kanye's workout tape
I been able to date outside the family, I got a double wide
And I row the plain, row the plain, row the plain
A.N.S in the video for Kayne West's New Work Out Plan
They say she dead.
That was probably the only thing they say that they were sure of.
They say she dead cause she lose 65 lbs quick quick quick soon after the baby born. They say woman bodies shouldn't be going through all that change so quick after baby born cause is all hormones and heap a woman business still going on as body trying to readjust itself after 9 months a pregnancy. That quick weight loss cant be proper they say especially since she ain't do it natural but use some sort of slim fast trim fast drug business to lose the weight. No star dat nuh right.
But no they say it wasnt the drugs it was Kayne's workout plan that make her lose the weight (see intro quote). But they still say the weight lost not natural and that is what kill her. Poor Kayne he a scapegoat fi everybody.
Then they say no it ain't the weight loss is that she had depression cause soon after the chile did born she first born dead under mysterious circumstances and dat added on to the post partum depression from the chile birth tek she over the edge. She just couldn't deal wid all the issues and dem kill her.
They say she do drugs, she did love off alcohol more than some a dem old fellas you wud see in a corner shop every day that have more rum in dem veins than blood.
Plus they claim say dem find powder in she room and it wasn't no Johnson & Johnson business like the old ladies duz put on dem face to go church wid or the young girls duz dash on dem bosom for when they walking down Broad Street. No sar! It was powder of a different kind. They say they tek it now to the lab for testing and wonder if Horatio from CSI-Miami a deal wid de case cause dem CSI bwoy would get to the bottom of this in under an hour.
Then they say no is somebody kill she. Murderation! They say rumor and speculation insist that she did onto something and somebody find she did on to this something and bram! just like she son went under mysterious circumstances a so she a go. They say is conspiracy like when X files did good. She get too close to the truth. They say if she did smart shewudda did do like granny say "See n Blind, Hear n Deaf". But no she musse talk out the business and de wrong somebody find out that she find out and dem silence her. Blouse n Skirt!
Then they say no it is to do with the case against her where somebody suing her and the diet company. They claim that the diet pillsnuh work like she claim say they work. They say diet pills more fraudulent than Miss Cleo (call me now!) Dem nuh do nuttin just tek foolish people money and mek other people rich. Yes that is what they say.
They say well she come from nothing and look how she end up. They say she was trying to be Marilyn Monroe but she lack de class. They say she cant walk in Marilyn high heels at all cause Marilyn was Marilyn. She was just a poor imitation or some big word I cant pronounce properly. A ca-ca-ca caricature or something so. I cant really be too sure if that is what they say cause I cant understanddem big word too good.
They say it was just all about the money for her. Yes she would do anything for money. Look how she marry off that old old fella that could be she great-grandfather and send 'im long to 'im grave early. Well if ya consider reaching 100 early. Then is over a decade now and still they say that she an the man pickney a fight over money. They say the man have more money than three Oprah Winfrey combine and so as she was the widow she want half. But the children say no the father never want she to have half and she only deserve alikkle piece no big 1/2 a billion dollars like the judge award she. That is what they say.
They say she was a real man eater just watch off the TV show wid her. They say she just run down nuff man on the television show to jump them bones. Doan ask me I never watch the show I just telling ya what they say. They say it was reality TV and if that was how she can go and get on with cameras following her about when you would figure she tone it down a bit imagine how crazy she must act when no camera around. They saynuff slackness a gwan on dat show. Mek me say I must try catch dat in rerun and see for myself what dem a talk bout. Just cause I don't like all the hearsay business I man prefer to see for myself and come to my own conclusion.
They say they no know who the pickney fadda! They say like she didn't know either. What a ting! She claim say is one man but another man claim it is his and now from what they say it look like two other man show up on the scene to claim to be the fadda too. They say she should a gwan on Maury and get a DNA test to figure that out before she dead. They say now chile will go through all set of legal issues and turn rag doll for people to fight custody battle over. Poor chile!
But is how come so many man a run say dem a de chile father they say? This must be the most wanted baby in the world! Cause ya know usually man duz be quick to say no it ain't mine, the chile never favor me, she trying to pin jacket pun me, I never sleep wid her, she lying, is not me is my twin brother from another mudda that wunnah never meet yet that pose off like me and get her pregnant. Yes they say man always have excuse for why dem not the chile fadda so it seem funny that so many man rushing up to claim fatherhood for this baby.
Oh wait they say. Yes the chile will inherit all the mudda money. Is just man look for quick money ting now. Alright den, that explain it.
Yea bwoy they say a whole heap a tings about her. They say she was a actress but she couldn't act. They say she was just one of them people that you wasn't quite sure why she was famous or why ya should care about her but she was always in the news.
They say so much about her that I know more about her now dead than when she was alive.
Well, they say she dead, they say nuff other things too but that was probably the only thing they say that they were sure of. Rumor & Speculation a so it a go!
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Loves gonna get cha
Ya know that's why man I be telling you all the time man, you know LOVE,
that word love is a very serious thing, and if you don't watch out I tell ya
that (Love's gonna get you) because a lot of people out here say "i love my
car" or "i love my chain" or or "i'm i'm just in love with that girl over
there"
Love's gonna get cha- BDP
So the big story today was about this astronaut lady who tried to kidnap and assault a romantic rival. The story is too funny. Well actually its a bit sad but funny still.
Imagine this astronaut lady seem to be involved with another astronaut fella that she duz train with and she find out that he maybe got another woman. Nothing certain certain but maybe, possibly. Or maybe he ain't got the woman but this other woman interested in he maybe, possibly. So what this astronaut woman do? She drive miles and miles, hours and hours to confront the woman and when she get there, she disguise herself, follow around the lady, scare the living daylights out of her, had she lock way in she car afraid of her and even spray something on her too. Imagine that?
Boy this love thing duz drive people insane it seems. I mean it was so bad with the astronaut lady that when she was driving the 900 miles to confront the other woman she put on diapers so she could drive straight and wouldn't have to stop to go to the bathroom. That show ya how serious she was about finding the other woman. Now that is some real love smitten business. De only word I can find to adequately describe she is the one the Trinis duz use ...bazodee. She did well bazodee cause no sane adult that don't have some sort of acute bladder problem ain't going to be putting on no diapers to drive bout the place in. It don't matter how much Huggies, Luvs and Pampers advertise bout how comfortable they duz be none a we around here did gine put them on instead a we regular underwear to drive 900 miles. So I feel she head got to be bad. Mad sick head no good.
But that ain't the half of it. When you first read the story you would feel well maybe this astronaut lady is some lil young ting free and single running after man and ya might say to ya self well poor ting she ain't know no better and she deserve some sympathy. Uh uh! Nope! First of all she is 43 and as we would say in Barbados and this ain't an insult to nobody that is 43 but 'a dog she age ain't no pup' meaning she ain't no young yam she is a grown hard back woman.
Then ya read further and to mek it even worse she married with three children. Imagine that? She running after another man, driving miles and miles in diapers to kidnap a rival and she married off and got nuff pickney too. Well well well! I wonder who was looking after she children when she did looking to kidnap the other lady?
Boy I would really like to see what her husband had to say to her after she get arrest or how he feel cause see me if dat did my wife doing that foolishness she couldn't get two cents fa bail money from me. I would leff she dey, let the other ass-tronaut come and bail she out.
Ya know what I love about this story though? It sound real ghetto but it actually isn't!
Certain people duz feel that only people name things like Laquadisha and Sharadeefa and them sort of foolish names so duz behave this sort of way. They duz feel that only lil ghetto people, or people with no education or poor people or people of a certain race or who ain't from a certain class duz behave like this and fight over man.
Well ya know what I glad that this astronaut girl come bout and behave so and show that is not just them lil young girls taking out their earrings, putting Vaseline on their faces and pulling out one another weaves that duz behave so. No star, some so called educated people with big degrees from big time Universities and professional people with specialized jobs and all that could still behave like idiots over this man woman business.
Its like the teacha said 'Love's gonna get cha'.
that word love is a very serious thing, and if you don't watch out I tell ya
that (Love's gonna get you) because a lot of people out here say "i love my
car" or "i love my chain" or or "i'm i'm just in love with that girl over
there"
Love's gonna get cha- BDP
So the big story today was about this astronaut lady who tried to kidnap and assault a romantic rival. The story is too funny. Well actually its a bit sad but funny still.
Imagine this astronaut lady seem to be involved with another astronaut fella that she duz train with and she find out that he maybe got another woman. Nothing certain certain but maybe, possibly. Or maybe he ain't got the woman but this other woman interested in he maybe, possibly. So what this astronaut woman do? She drive miles and miles, hours and hours to confront the woman and when she get there, she disguise herself, follow around the lady, scare the living daylights out of her, had she lock way in she car afraid of her and even spray something on her too. Imagine that?
Boy this love thing duz drive people insane it seems. I mean it was so bad with the astronaut lady that when she was driving the 900 miles to confront the other woman she put on diapers so she could drive straight and wouldn't have to stop to go to the bathroom. That show ya how serious she was about finding the other woman. Now that is some real love smitten business. De only word I can find to adequately describe she is the one the Trinis duz use ...bazodee. She did well bazodee cause no sane adult that don't have some sort of acute bladder problem ain't going to be putting on no diapers to drive bout the place in. It don't matter how much Huggies, Luvs and Pampers advertise bout how comfortable they duz be none a we around here did gine put them on instead a we regular underwear to drive 900 miles. So I feel she head got to be bad. Mad sick head no good.
But that ain't the half of it. When you first read the story you would feel well maybe this astronaut lady is some lil young ting free and single running after man and ya might say to ya self well poor ting she ain't know no better and she deserve some sympathy. Uh uh! Nope! First of all she is 43 and as we would say in Barbados and this ain't an insult to nobody that is 43 but 'a dog she age ain't no pup' meaning she ain't no young yam she is a grown hard back woman.
Then ya read further and to mek it even worse she married with three children. Imagine that? She running after another man, driving miles and miles in diapers to kidnap a rival and she married off and got nuff pickney too. Well well well! I wonder who was looking after she children when she did looking to kidnap the other lady?
Boy I would really like to see what her husband had to say to her after she get arrest or how he feel cause see me if dat did my wife doing that foolishness she couldn't get two cents fa bail money from me. I would leff she dey, let the other ass-tronaut come and bail she out.
Ya know what I love about this story though? It sound real ghetto but it actually isn't!
Certain people duz feel that only people name things like Laquadisha and Sharadeefa and them sort of foolish names so duz behave this sort of way. They duz feel that only lil ghetto people, or people with no education or poor people or people of a certain race or who ain't from a certain class duz behave like this and fight over man.
Well ya know what I glad that this astronaut girl come bout and behave so and show that is not just them lil young girls taking out their earrings, putting Vaseline on their faces and pulling out one another weaves that duz behave so. No star, some so called educated people with big degrees from big time Universities and professional people with specialized jobs and all that could still behave like idiots over this man woman business.
Its like the teacha said 'Love's gonna get cha'.
Monday, February 05, 2007
Cell phone debate
"Hol on let me answer mi cellular"
Cellular Phone - Bounty Killa
Recently I've been hearing and reading a bit about proposed bannings of cellphones in schools in various countries. There is some talk of it in Barbados at the moment after a recent incident where a student was killed for his phone and now there is some talk of it here in Toronto.
Frankly I'm surprised that this issue has taken so long to be put on the table as it was one of the first things I thought about when I realized the prevalence of cellphones especially amongst high school students. I can just imagine how annoying it must be currently to be a teacher and continually be reminding students to turn off or turn down their phones in class etc. Talk about issues with attention span back in the days it was only paper planes and spit balls and the like that teachers had to deal with. Now on top of those they have to compete with text messages and the random, whistles, bells, song snippets and whatever passes for ring tones these days. So many distractions to the students. I think as a teacher that might drive me postal.
Yes the new portable technology that we have at our finger tips is amazing. Cell phones, Ipods and other mp3 players, portable DVD players, Ps2s, laptops etc are great ........ when put to legitimate use. Still when one is in school is there the need for all of this stuff?
I remember back in my high school days, a long time ago in a galaxy far far away, at the advent of portable video games our school staff took what appeared to myself as a young student to be a draconian stance regarding those items. They were completely banned from the school premises. It didn't matter if you weren't playing with them or not if they were found in your possession you were in trouble. (I could tell you a story about me, that and detention but I have a certain image to uphold.)
OK so you cant really compare video games with cell phones which sometimes have a legitimate use but at the same time whats the big issue with banning cellphones from the classrooms and hallways of our schools?
Well the above linked article gives some opinions of staff, students and parents towards the proposed ban and if there is one thing that the article suggests to me its that human beings in general are getting more stupid by the minute. It makes one wonder if those fanciful back stories to sci-fi tales where the machines rise up and take over aren't as far fetched as they seem cause frankly technology is making us bleeping imbeciles!
I mean I understand keeping in touch with where the child is going to be after school but do you have to keep in touch during school hours too? Hear one parent talking about how she uses the cell phone to remind her children of appointments. So wait before cell phones children didn't have appointments too? You cant remind the children before they leave home? Chupse! The children don't got a memory that they cant remember something so for a couple of hours and you have to call them in class to remind them? In class the child should be focused on the teacher or doodling in a notebook or troubling some other child not dealing with parents on cell phones reminding them of things to do.
Then hear one child talking about she don't mind them banning them in the classrooms but they shouldn't ban phones in the hallway cause she uses them to find her friends at break. Again big chupse! So before cell phones how people used to find their friends? Ya didn't used to ask them where they were going to be at break or holler out their name to find them or use the eyesight or speech that God give you to ask somebody where them is? Cheese on bread!
I tell ya, we becoming too dependent on this technology business. It stunting we brain! It stifling we common sense!
And what got me is that when you think about it the parents of these kids should know better. I forgive the kids cause they grow up with the technology and they ain't know any better but the parents? They ain't grow up with no cellphones. Yes is a different society we live in with more dangers etc but still ain't no need for cellphones during class hours. Tell the child what he/she needs to do in the morning before they go off to school. Don't wait till they trying to get lil Arithmetic in dey head in Ms Jones class to confuse them about home business. Plan out what needs to be done and if ya forget deal with it the next day.
That took my thinking to another thought. Why do we need to be continually connected? Even in the adult world is it absolutely necessary for persons to know where you are at every moment of the day? Do we need to converse with persons who aren't around that much? You cant be in the car or walking for 10 minutes without checking in or dialing up or whatever?
Just a thought.
But back to the schools and the cellphones. I didn't even mention the dangers of kids taking naughty photos and videos with cellphones or using the Internet or text messaging to cheat. No man too much issues with this phone thing at school. Take it away from the classrooms. Its just an added distraction to the already short attention span of kids these days. Take it out! Dash way the cell phones at school during school hours. Ban dem!
Cellular Phone - Bounty Killa
Recently I've been hearing and reading a bit about proposed bannings of cellphones in schools in various countries. There is some talk of it in Barbados at the moment after a recent incident where a student was killed for his phone and now there is some talk of it here in Toronto.
Frankly I'm surprised that this issue has taken so long to be put on the table as it was one of the first things I thought about when I realized the prevalence of cellphones especially amongst high school students. I can just imagine how annoying it must be currently to be a teacher and continually be reminding students to turn off or turn down their phones in class etc. Talk about issues with attention span back in the days it was only paper planes and spit balls and the like that teachers had to deal with. Now on top of those they have to compete with text messages and the random, whistles, bells, song snippets and whatever passes for ring tones these days. So many distractions to the students. I think as a teacher that might drive me postal.
Yes the new portable technology that we have at our finger tips is amazing. Cell phones, Ipods and other mp3 players, portable DVD players, Ps2s, laptops etc are great ........ when put to legitimate use. Still when one is in school is there the need for all of this stuff?I remember back in my high school days, a long time ago in a galaxy far far away, at the advent of portable video games our school staff took what appeared to myself as a young student to be a draconian stance regarding those items. They were completely banned from the school premises. It didn't matter if you weren't playing with them or not if they were found in your possession you were in trouble. (I could tell you a story about me, that and detention but I have a certain image to uphold.)
OK so you cant really compare video games with cell phones which sometimes have a legitimate use but at the same time whats the big issue with banning cellphones from the classrooms and hallways of our schools?
Well the above linked article gives some opinions of staff, students and parents towards the proposed ban and if there is one thing that the article suggests to me its that human beings in general are getting more stupid by the minute. It makes one wonder if those fanciful back stories to sci-fi tales where the machines rise up and take over aren't as far fetched as they seem cause frankly technology is making us bleeping imbeciles!
I mean I understand keeping in touch with where the child is going to be after school but do you have to keep in touch during school hours too? Hear one parent talking about how she uses the cell phone to remind her children of appointments. So wait before cell phones children didn't have appointments too? You cant remind the children before they leave home? Chupse! The children don't got a memory that they cant remember something so for a couple of hours and you have to call them in class to remind them? In class the child should be focused on the teacher or doodling in a notebook or troubling some other child not dealing with parents on cell phones reminding them of things to do.
Then hear one child talking about she don't mind them banning them in the classrooms but they shouldn't ban phones in the hallway cause she uses them to find her friends at break. Again big chupse! So before cell phones how people used to find their friends? Ya didn't used to ask them where they were going to be at break or holler out their name to find them or use the eyesight or speech that God give you to ask somebody where them is? Cheese on bread!I tell ya, we becoming too dependent on this technology business. It stunting we brain! It stifling we common sense!
And what got me is that when you think about it the parents of these kids should know better. I forgive the kids cause they grow up with the technology and they ain't know any better but the parents? They ain't grow up with no cellphones. Yes is a different society we live in with more dangers etc but still ain't no need for cellphones during class hours. Tell the child what he/she needs to do in the morning before they go off to school. Don't wait till they trying to get lil Arithmetic in dey head in Ms Jones class to confuse them about home business. Plan out what needs to be done and if ya forget deal with it the next day.
That took my thinking to another thought. Why do we need to be continually connected? Even in the adult world is it absolutely necessary for persons to know where you are at every moment of the day? Do we need to converse with persons who aren't around that much? You cant be in the car or walking for 10 minutes without checking in or dialing up or whatever?
Just a thought.
But back to the schools and the cellphones. I didn't even mention the dangers of kids taking naughty photos and videos with cellphones or using the Internet or text messaging to cheat. No man too much issues with this phone thing at school. Take it away from the classrooms. Its just an added distraction to the already short attention span of kids these days. Take it out! Dash way the cell phones at school during school hours. Ban dem!
Friday, February 02, 2007
Booty tax
I'll be back but for now jusss ............
Boy it been so long I aint blog that I like I dont even remember how to blog no more. Its been so long that I was waiting for Nas to hit me up for a "Where are they now" bloggers guest spot.
Anyway I going come back slowly just checking to see if anybody still checking for me. So to start let me just talk about this. I read this thing about how some group trying to fight the "booty tax" they say that the government impose on people.
What is a booty tax you ask? No is not a tax on women wid big bottoms is a tax on booty calls. They claim if you in Toronto or wherever and de squeeze or some random partner call you up late night and tell you come over for a booty call and you go cross there and park on the street and then get a parking ticket the next morning that that parking ticket is a booty tax cause is a tax on you mekkin a booty call, getting your groove on, mekkin movementations whatever you may call it.
Well boy they say that they in favor of a lil $10 ticket that you can buy online and put on you car if you going out them times of night to make said booty call instead of ending up with a big 50 or more dollar parking ticket.
No romance widout finance. dat is all I saying for now.
Boy it been so long I aint blog that I like I dont even remember how to blog no more. Its been so long that I was waiting for Nas to hit me up for a "Where are they now" bloggers guest spot.
Anyway I going come back slowly just checking to see if anybody still checking for me. So to start let me just talk about this. I read this thing about how some group trying to fight the "booty tax" they say that the government impose on people.
What is a booty tax you ask? No is not a tax on women wid big bottoms is a tax on booty calls. They claim if you in Toronto or wherever and de squeeze or some random partner call you up late night and tell you come over for a booty call and you go cross there and park on the street and then get a parking ticket the next morning that that parking ticket is a booty tax cause is a tax on you mekkin a booty call, getting your groove on, mekkin movementations whatever you may call it.
Well boy they say that they in favor of a lil $10 ticket that you can buy online and put on you car if you going out them times of night to make said booty call instead of ending up with a big 50 or more dollar parking ticket.
No romance widout finance. dat is all I saying for now.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Ode to Curtis
Damn why'd they have to go and kill Curtis on 24 last night? Why why why! And in an episode airing on Martin Luther King day too. Damn damn damn!What can I say? Yes I know he is/was just a TV character but Curtis was so much more.
Ok some background. One good thing about 24 is that unlike some of the other TV shows out there it has given us some memorable black characters. President Palmer and his wife/ex wife Sheri and CTU agent Curtis Manning all stand out. President Palmer's sister portrayed by Regina King also seems to be blazing a new trail in season 6 as a memorable character herself. (by the way does everyone besides me think that her boyfriend on the show played by Harry J Lennix look like Barak Obama?)
But every memorable black character seems to get knocked off. Sheri got taken out in season 3, President Palmer got assassinated in Hour 1 of season 5 and now Curtis gets taken out in hour number 4 of season 6.
Its been tough to see good black folk get killed (on TV).
Don't get me wrong though, 24 hasn't been all good for the brothers and sisters. Me and bajansistren had a running joke early on in the show's life that anytime you saw a minority character (aside from the Palmers) they wouldn't last more than 2 hrs. Anyone remember the black female cop that helped Jack in season one? yep she got taken care of swiftly, same thing with Lou Diamond Phillips' character etc etc. So minorities in law enforcement positions just weren't making it in the show until Curtis. (ok Tony Almeida was an exception and he was sort of like Slater on Saved by the Bell where they kept his ethnicity totally on the low till they fired him (tony) and had him talking Spanish and watching soccer).
So when Curtis showed up as a CTU agent in season 3, my expectations were low. I figured he wouldn't last three hours but somehow he survived. Then in season 4 when they had his ex, played by Aisha Tyler, work as a traitor I figured Curtis was done for cause they would somehow find a way to blame the brother for her handiwork and fire him. Either that or he'd get himself killed. But he survived. Survived season 5 too and I got accustomed to seeing Curtis, the stoic, by the book, without any emotional range (sort of like a black Ben Affleck) black Captain America, ask not what your country can do for you type that he was on the show and thought hey maybe he is invincible like Jack.
Alas I was wrong.
Curtis died in Season 6 hour number 4 last night. Shot by Jack Bauer.
But yes for the three seasons he was around it was nice having Curtis. He was a solid bit character. They never developed him too much beyond that until it was time to kill him but he was still cool to watch. He got shot, he shot back, he obeyed orders, he played by the rules, he was a prototypical soldier, and always cool, never flustered, at points the antithesis of Keither Sutherland's Jack Bauer character.
Which is why it was so difficult watching him go out in such an uncharacteristic manner last night. Disobeying orders and getting shot by a colleague? Who writes this stuff? Curtis' actions were definitely not in line with his character. Jack might do something like that but after three seasons of watching Curtis I'm pretty sure he wouldn't go out like the punk they played him to be last night.
I mean if they needed to get rid of him couldn't they just have had him get blown up in the nuclear explosion that they set off which was probably the biggest event of last nights episode to most people, except me cause the biggest event to me was Curtis' death.
Its just wrong and I could probably go into a "well if they had to kill off a black character this person would have been better to knock off" speech but I wont cause well first off I could go on and on about this show and secondly its all just a big TV show.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Phones galore!
One of the things, I wont say whether good or bad, about not visiting a place for a few years is that you get to see distinct snapshots of its development. As opposed to our usual vantage point and a perception of change as a gradual process you instead see change as if a fairy with a magic wand instantaneously made things happen. Snapshots, before and after pictures; where once there was an open field there is now a huge structure imposing on your vision, where once there was an old building it has now been spruced up and modernized etc.
Before and after shots, what was then and what is now. Well that was how I saw things on my recent trip to Barbados (got like three more blogs about the visit actually) as it had been a full three years between visits. Me own mudda nearly disown den!
Anyway what can I say, over the holidays I discovered that there had been a myriad of changes in Barbados since my last visit. Development and progress they call it. Not that I was expecting stagnation or regression or anything like that but some of the changes caught me a bit off guard as some were a bit unexpected. Still its all good! Lots of new housing developments even though land prices through the roof, road expansions and potential flyovers being built, interesting demographics changes (in my opinion anyways and no I aint talking about Guyanese immigrants), airport looking nice even though the P.A system still sounds terrible, even one of my favorite places in the world Kensington Oval getting a makeover "fa cup". Everything "fa cup" as the locals there might say! World Cup that is!
But and this is a big ol bodunkadunk type butt. BUT the major change that stood out to me more than anything during this visit, something that wasn't around in 2003, is the increased prevalence of cell phones. And when I say increase I mean like increase to the power of 100.
Cheese on bread den! Cell phones like water bout de place. And no don't take this as a well Barbados is a third world country, a mere dot on the map and people should still be talking on a piece a string tied to two snow cone cups comment. This is a comment saying I am just shocked at the dramatic increase and prevalence in cell phones in Barbados when I consider what I saw in 2003 where a mere fraction of the population mostly business folks had them and today where everybody and their grandmudda got one.
Not only that cause in Toronto I'd say there has been a cell phone explosion as well although maybe my seeing it done gradually hasn't awakened me to its extent but to me comparing cell phone usage in Barbados to that in Toronto based on my non-scientific analysis and observation it just seems like Bajans use cell phones more than people in Toronto.
Everybody got a cell phone to their ears or checking a text message den! If you see three people in Bridgetown then one out of the three is having a conversation on their cellphone and as my friend said the other two just waiting for theirs to start up ringing.
Do you know how much I wish I had shares in the cellular companies Digicel or BMobile? Forget IBM, Microsoft and Google stocks, cell phone company stock is where its happening Bim. I would be able to retire all like now if I had gotten in at the start. Dem fellas must be getting rich, rich, rich.
Then I stop to think about it and say ya know what I'm not surprised by this change though. Why? Because the technology now exists and the average Bajan like to talk nuff nuff nuff! See how I duz write alot on my blog and wunnah duz complain that I long winded? Well the average bajan like that except instead of writing he or she duz be talking!
I lie?? Cheese on bread boy bajans too like to hear the sound of their own voice. We duz always got an opinion and a comment for every situation. Ya will never meet a speechless bajan!
In general we love to talk and specifically bajans too like to talk on the phone. Lawd ave mercy! Look in Barbados the government could raise gas price, electricity price, water rate, food prices could go through the roof and people might grumble a bit but as long as they can talk about it on the phone and the call in programs everything safe. The fellas will survive. But let dem ever start talking about metering home phones again and you would see disruption, unrest and riot starting up in the land.
So yea I not really that surprised when I think about the prevalence of cell phones in Bim. The influx of affordable (actually this is an assumption as I have no idea what rates are like but considering the amount of phones it must be reasonable) cell phones giving the ability to converse, chat, gossip, talk nuff long talk without having to be restricted by wires and cables to being in one spot, to be mobile and speak must really have been a revolutionary moment in the history of Barbados.
p.s: I will now get cussed by every bajan I know while every other Caribbean person will say that is true I neva meet a quiet bajan yet. :-)
Before and after shots, what was then and what is now. Well that was how I saw things on my recent trip to Barbados (got like three more blogs about the visit actually) as it had been a full three years between visits. Me own mudda nearly disown den!
Anyway what can I say, over the holidays I discovered that there had been a myriad of changes in Barbados since my last visit. Development and progress they call it. Not that I was expecting stagnation or regression or anything like that but some of the changes caught me a bit off guard as some were a bit unexpected. Still its all good! Lots of new housing developments even though land prices through the roof, road expansions and potential flyovers being built, interesting demographics changes (in my opinion anyways and no I aint talking about Guyanese immigrants), airport looking nice even though the P.A system still sounds terrible, even one of my favorite places in the world Kensington Oval getting a makeover "fa cup". Everything "fa cup" as the locals there might say! World Cup that is!
But and this is a big ol bodunkadunk type butt. BUT the major change that stood out to me more than anything during this visit, something that wasn't around in 2003, is the increased prevalence of cell phones. And when I say increase I mean like increase to the power of 100.
Cheese on bread den! Cell phones like water bout de place. And no don't take this as a well Barbados is a third world country, a mere dot on the map and people should still be talking on a piece a string tied to two snow cone cups comment. This is a comment saying I am just shocked at the dramatic increase and prevalence in cell phones in Barbados when I consider what I saw in 2003 where a mere fraction of the population mostly business folks had them and today where everybody and their grandmudda got one.Not only that cause in Toronto I'd say there has been a cell phone explosion as well although maybe my seeing it done gradually hasn't awakened me to its extent but to me comparing cell phone usage in Barbados to that in Toronto based on my non-scientific analysis and observation it just seems like Bajans use cell phones more than people in Toronto.
Everybody got a cell phone to their ears or checking a text message den! If you see three people in Bridgetown then one out of the three is having a conversation on their cellphone and as my friend said the other two just waiting for theirs to start up ringing.Do you know how much I wish I had shares in the cellular companies Digicel or BMobile? Forget IBM, Microsoft and Google stocks, cell phone company stock is where its happening Bim. I would be able to retire all like now if I had gotten in at the start. Dem fellas must be getting rich, rich, rich.
Then I stop to think about it and say ya know what I'm not surprised by this change though. Why? Because the technology now exists and the average Bajan like to talk nuff nuff nuff! See how I duz write alot on my blog and wunnah duz complain that I long winded? Well the average bajan like that except instead of writing he or she duz be talking!
I lie?? Cheese on bread boy bajans too like to hear the sound of their own voice. We duz always got an opinion and a comment for every situation. Ya will never meet a speechless bajan!
In general we love to talk and specifically bajans too like to talk on the phone. Lawd ave mercy! Look in Barbados the government could raise gas price, electricity price, water rate, food prices could go through the roof and people might grumble a bit but as long as they can talk about it on the phone and the call in programs everything safe. The fellas will survive. But let dem ever start talking about metering home phones again and you would see disruption, unrest and riot starting up in the land.So yea I not really that surprised when I think about the prevalence of cell phones in Bim. The influx of affordable (actually this is an assumption as I have no idea what rates are like but considering the amount of phones it must be reasonable) cell phones giving the ability to converse, chat, gossip, talk nuff long talk without having to be restricted by wires and cables to being in one spot, to be mobile and speak must really have been a revolutionary moment in the history of Barbados.
p.s: I will now get cussed by every bajan I know while every other Caribbean person will say that is true I neva meet a quiet bajan yet. :-)
Monday, January 08, 2007
Build & destroy
First off big up to my man and his wife who had a baby boy last week. May God's blessing shine upon you all. Jdid's going be an uncle.
Ok on to our regularly scheduled blog.
Baby/Toddler toys are something else. First off it seems like at least 80% of them come with music, to stimulate child development they say, which is kind of cute at first but then it drives you completely crazy as you hear the same song repeated over and over and over and over again.
That's why I like the toys (for my son) where you can switch from the continuous nursery rhymes or classical music to just playing simple notes. Just bang on it and it makes a note. Leaves much more room for creativity. There is one toy my son has which has sound effects like drums, trumpets and even voice samples and let me tell you I've been getting my Pete Rock on with that joint. Word is born I'm going to be the first hip hop producer to make a hit song with samples from baby toys. Actually the more I think of it I probably wont be the first lol. Oh yea and I occasionally let my son play with it as well. What? I teaching him to share, I trying to teach the chile life skills leave me alone. chupse!
But yep I'm trying to actively stimulate the growth of young minds by playing with my sons toys and teaching him how to play with them. Mind you he has a mind of his own and just bangs away at them as he feels like. Oh well he'll figure them out as we go along. Or maybe we can just form a rap group and I'll be the DJ and he can be the rapper. Well it aint like most rappers rhymes any better than nursery rhymes these days anyways so he might got a shot.
Actually on another whole other toy front he has gotten a whole bunch of blocks for Christmas (memo to gift givers. Daddy umm I mean my son wants Lego next ok. I'm just playing don't tek me seriously.). Oh man are blocks fun! I've been getting my Leonardo Da'Vinci on with the blocks and I'll show you some photos of my constructions.
What ya think? The first two are mine and the third one is my wife's. Note how symmetrical, uniform and nice looking her's are compared to my freestyle crazy what the hell was he thinking constructions. Hmmm I never knew blocks were physiological tools. lol
Still I know all y'all fascinated by my designs and want me to rush over and design your new homes right? right?
Of course I don't think my son fully grasps the whole concept of blocks yet cause everytime we build all he does is knock them over. Just let us put two blocks on top of each other and he immediately rushes over and knocks them to the ground. All my wonderful creativity down the drain bram on time.
Hmmm oh well I guess there is money in demolition so hey cant blame him.
And he is having fun with them and learning stuff so its not a waste of time. Of course first things first must teach him to put away the blocks after dadd...ummm I mean he's finished playing with them.
Ok on to our regularly scheduled blog.
Baby/Toddler toys are something else. First off it seems like at least 80% of them come with music, to stimulate child development they say, which is kind of cute at first but then it drives you completely crazy as you hear the same song repeated over and over and over and over again.
That's why I like the toys (for my son) where you can switch from the continuous nursery rhymes or classical music to just playing simple notes. Just bang on it and it makes a note. Leaves much more room for creativity. There is one toy my son has which has sound effects like drums, trumpets and even voice samples and let me tell you I've been getting my Pete Rock on with that joint. Word is born I'm going to be the first hip hop producer to make a hit song with samples from baby toys. Actually the more I think of it I probably wont be the first lol. Oh yea and I occasionally let my son play with it as well. What? I teaching him to share, I trying to teach the chile life skills leave me alone. chupse!
But yep I'm trying to actively stimulate the growth of young minds by playing with my sons toys and teaching him how to play with them. Mind you he has a mind of his own and just bangs away at them as he feels like. Oh well he'll figure them out as we go along. Or maybe we can just form a rap group and I'll be the DJ and he can be the rapper. Well it aint like most rappers rhymes any better than nursery rhymes these days anyways so he might got a shot.
Actually on another whole other toy front he has gotten a whole bunch of blocks for Christmas (memo to gift givers. Daddy umm I mean my son wants Lego next ok. I'm just playing don't tek me seriously.). Oh man are blocks fun! I've been getting my Leonardo Da'Vinci on with the blocks and I'll show you some photos of my constructions.
What ya think? The first two are mine and the third one is my wife's. Note how symmetrical, uniform and nice looking her's are compared to my freestyle crazy what the hell was he thinking constructions. Hmmm I never knew blocks were physiological tools. lol
Still I know all y'all fascinated by my designs and want me to rush over and design your new homes right? right?
Of course I don't think my son fully grasps the whole concept of blocks yet cause everytime we build all he does is knock them over. Just let us put two blocks on top of each other and he immediately rushes over and knocks them to the ground. All my wonderful creativity down the drain bram on time.
Hmmm oh well I guess there is money in demolition so hey cant blame him.
And he is having fun with them and learning stuff so its not a waste of time. Of course first things first must teach him to put away the blocks after dadd...ummm I mean he's finished playing with them.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Fete Church
How would you like it if this scenario went down? Funky fresh dressed to impress ready to party. Its old years night and you come out to get your groove on. You reach the spot and the dj get up and say "well ummm looka I already spin my new years set this afternoon so instead a music look I got this fella that gine give you all a lecture on the influence of hip hop and dancehall culture in the late 20th century. Alright? Good. Check wunnah lata."
How you would feel about that?
Well if you know how that would play with you then you can imagine how I felt when I went church old years night and the preacher aint preach and we aint even do nuh prayer business just a big lot of song and dance. Chupse!
But the clues were there that this was going to be fete church. Which clues you ask well let me break it down for you.
(oh for the record this wasn't my usual church just someplace I got invited to.)
You know you are at fete church when you have to pass through a metal detector to get into the service.
You also know you are in fete church when somebody gets on the stage and say "we ram packed and security aint letting in no more people tonight."
Fete church is also when you see nuff people wearing their fete clothes at the church (cause they probably going to a real fete after church). From the time we reach and was outside I see some women in some tight fitting, revealing, shiny glittery things and was wondering if we at the right venue. Let me tell you people I never see so much cleavage in church yet then! Almost mek a fella repent and commit himself to becoming a church regular.
Then when the sing-speration aka the worship in song lasts like a hour and a half and you only sing 3 songs in that time period and each song only had two verses and a chorus then you know that you are at fete church. Meanwhile people in the back doing choreographed dance moves and ya know that if it goes on long enough a cipher will break out.
You also know you at fete church when the salutations not only consist of amens but people cheering loud loud loud like is English soccer or a dancehall show and you wondering how long before people start throwing up lighters or whether anyone would notice you out of place if you join in and let go a "yeah yeah!!" or a 'bo bo bo!'
And of course if the service was about 70% creative dance with people running up and down the aisles with flags and streamers and girls on stage feeling like they belong to the Alvin Ailey troupe then ya dun know you were at fete church.
Now don't get me wrong. I don't like criticizing the church but I'm old school about church. I feel certain things like fetes and church should be kept separate. If I did want to go feting old years night I would have gone feting but since I decided I'm going to church I feel that church should be church. Yea its supposed to be a celebration and all that but still don't overdo it with the song and dance business. Ok maybe that's the way to get the young people through the doors and get a big congregation and collect a big offering but that aint really church.
I feel if you go to a regular church service (as opposed to some sort of special program) somebody should preach and somebody should open a bible and read a scripture lesson. Dem right there is two fundamental things man, fundamental. Read a scripture, give muh a sermon. It don't have to be a half hour or hour long sermon. Could be just 5 minutes but you should have a sermon. Am I asking for too much?
How you would feel about that?
Well if you know how that would play with you then you can imagine how I felt when I went church old years night and the preacher aint preach and we aint even do nuh prayer business just a big lot of song and dance. Chupse!
But the clues were there that this was going to be fete church. Which clues you ask well let me break it down for you.
(oh for the record this wasn't my usual church just someplace I got invited to.)
You know you are at fete church when you have to pass through a metal detector to get into the service.
You also know you are in fete church when somebody gets on the stage and say "we ram packed and security aint letting in no more people tonight."
Fete church is also when you see nuff people wearing their fete clothes at the church (cause they probably going to a real fete after church). From the time we reach and was outside I see some women in some tight fitting, revealing, shiny glittery things and was wondering if we at the right venue. Let me tell you people I never see so much cleavage in church yet then! Almost mek a fella repent and commit himself to becoming a church regular.
Then when the sing-speration aka the worship in song lasts like a hour and a half and you only sing 3 songs in that time period and each song only had two verses and a chorus then you know that you are at fete church. Meanwhile people in the back doing choreographed dance moves and ya know that if it goes on long enough a cipher will break out.
You also know you at fete church when the salutations not only consist of amens but people cheering loud loud loud like is English soccer or a dancehall show and you wondering how long before people start throwing up lighters or whether anyone would notice you out of place if you join in and let go a "yeah yeah!!" or a 'bo bo bo!'
And of course if the service was about 70% creative dance with people running up and down the aisles with flags and streamers and girls on stage feeling like they belong to the Alvin Ailey troupe then ya dun know you were at fete church.
Now don't get me wrong. I don't like criticizing the church but I'm old school about church. I feel certain things like fetes and church should be kept separate. If I did want to go feting old years night I would have gone feting but since I decided I'm going to church I feel that church should be church. Yea its supposed to be a celebration and all that but still don't overdo it with the song and dance business. Ok maybe that's the way to get the young people through the doors and get a big congregation and collect a big offering but that aint really church.
I feel if you go to a regular church service (as opposed to some sort of special program) somebody should preach and somebody should open a bible and read a scripture lesson. Dem right there is two fundamental things man, fundamental. Read a scripture, give muh a sermon. It don't have to be a half hour or hour long sermon. Could be just 5 minutes but you should have a sermon. Am I asking for too much?
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Happy New Year!
Happy new year to all my blog fam. I'm just back from two weeks in sunny Barbados.
You just got to love Barbados. Its the only place where someone will give you directions like these.
"Ammm so after ya pass the roundabout ya will go up the road and pass about three churches on the left hand side a de road. Once ya pass them churches look out fa a blue Suzuki swift and turn at the gap after that."
Needless to say we got lost.
You just got to love Barbados. Its the only place where someone will give you directions like these.
"Ammm so after ya pass the roundabout ya will go up the road and pass about three churches on the left hand side a de road. Once ya pass them churches look out fa a blue Suzuki swift and turn at the gap after that."
Needless to say we got lost.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Merry Christmas
and a happy new year to all. I'm taking a blog break for a while. Gone on vacation for a few. Hope all my readers and fellow bloggers have a blessed and safe holiday season. And yes I'm saying Merry Christmas and not happy holidays if ya offended go somewhere else.
oh and eat nuff nuff nuff cause well if ya dont put on weight in the Christmas season how can you make the new years resolution to lose weight? :-)
peace! (to all men and women too)
oh and eat nuff nuff nuff cause well if ya dont put on weight in the Christmas season how can you make the new years resolution to lose weight? :-)
peace! (to all men and women too)
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Retreat
So I'm walking through the cosmetic department of a department store today when all of a sudden I realize not only are they not playing Christmas music but they are playing dancehall music. And not only are they playing dancehall music, which isn't such a big deal these days since BET and urban radio discovered Sean Paul and Elephant Man, but they are playing old dancehall music like early 90s dancehall music. Whoa!
Of course as I walked through irony of ironies what should be playing in the cosmetic department but Cutty Ranks lyrics of 'Retreat ugly gal surrender retreat pretty gal come fe tek ova". I wonder if anyone besides me noticed? Oh well.
Of course as I walked through irony of ironies what should be playing in the cosmetic department but Cutty Ranks lyrics of 'Retreat ugly gal surrender retreat pretty gal come fe tek ova". I wonder if anyone besides me noticed? Oh well.
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Charity
So its Christmas time, the time of giving and all that. Bah humbug! Just had to get that out of my system.
No seriously Christmas is a time for giving and I always remember even back home Christmas was when the Salvation army guys came out and set up shop on various corners of the city soliciting funds for the more needy. Nothing wrong with that.
Anyway I still see Salvation army folk up here in the T dot asking for funds for the less well off but Christmas in terms of collecting funds has become to me about the calls and the letters.
It seems as if when you give any donation to any charity they share your name with a million other charities who then proceed to attempt to solicit your help. Now in all fairness aint anything wrong with giving but if I'm giving 10 dollars here and there don't expect me to hoist every single charity on my back and give them 10 dollars because that money duz add up quicker than you think and in no time at all I would be one of those less fortunate, more needy, folks who need help as well. Ya understand?
So if I give to some children's thing or to help the homeless don't expect me to give to the Wild life fund and all the hospitals and the diabetes association and the cancer association and the prostrate cancer association and the save the planet fund and the adopt a starving child somewhere else in the world cause pretty soon my pockets would be bare and my child would be starving too.
Yea I know that's not what you want to hear. Its the season of giving so give selflessly. Well in my opinion selflessly can only go so far and sorry if that's not a very seasonal or Christian thing to say but its the truth. Ya got to give within your means same as you should spend within your means. That don't mean you cant be extra generous all I'm saying is you cant support every fella with a charity.
I'll help who I can but at the same time I aint saving no blind bats in Peru or hard of hearing owls in China. I might give something to a child fund here and there and a research foundation might get a one time thing but all animals got to break for themselves. When it come down to it I supporting starving people over animals any day. And also when it comes down to it I supporting people I know over people I don't know. If you live in east Mongolia I aint saying you don't deserve money but there is probably a poor fella in the Caribbean or a single mother with three kids in Toronto that I would give my money to first. Say what ya want about my rational and I realize the logic in a bit wrong but sorry that's the truth.
And another thing. In these letters I receive soliciting assistance why is it that the authors feel it is necessary to give me labels and calendars and pins and all sorts of memorabilia? Trust me that don't bribe me into giving anything cause the way I look at it its like so y'all want my money to buy knick knacks to give away to get other people money instead of giving the money directly to the actual cause that needs it. Sorry buddy that doesn't work for me.
No seriously Christmas is a time for giving and I always remember even back home Christmas was when the Salvation army guys came out and set up shop on various corners of the city soliciting funds for the more needy. Nothing wrong with that.
Anyway I still see Salvation army folk up here in the T dot asking for funds for the less well off but Christmas in terms of collecting funds has become to me about the calls and the letters.
It seems as if when you give any donation to any charity they share your name with a million other charities who then proceed to attempt to solicit your help. Now in all fairness aint anything wrong with giving but if I'm giving 10 dollars here and there don't expect me to hoist every single charity on my back and give them 10 dollars because that money duz add up quicker than you think and in no time at all I would be one of those less fortunate, more needy, folks who need help as well. Ya understand?
So if I give to some children's thing or to help the homeless don't expect me to give to the Wild life fund and all the hospitals and the diabetes association and the cancer association and the prostrate cancer association and the save the planet fund and the adopt a starving child somewhere else in the world cause pretty soon my pockets would be bare and my child would be starving too.
Yea I know that's not what you want to hear. Its the season of giving so give selflessly. Well in my opinion selflessly can only go so far and sorry if that's not a very seasonal or Christian thing to say but its the truth. Ya got to give within your means same as you should spend within your means. That don't mean you cant be extra generous all I'm saying is you cant support every fella with a charity.
I'll help who I can but at the same time I aint saving no blind bats in Peru or hard of hearing owls in China. I might give something to a child fund here and there and a research foundation might get a one time thing but all animals got to break for themselves. When it come down to it I supporting starving people over animals any day. And also when it comes down to it I supporting people I know over people I don't know. If you live in east Mongolia I aint saying you don't deserve money but there is probably a poor fella in the Caribbean or a single mother with three kids in Toronto that I would give my money to first. Say what ya want about my rational and I realize the logic in a bit wrong but sorry that's the truth.
And another thing. In these letters I receive soliciting assistance why is it that the authors feel it is necessary to give me labels and calendars and pins and all sorts of memorabilia? Trust me that don't bribe me into giving anything cause the way I look at it its like so y'all want my money to buy knick knacks to give away to get other people money instead of giving the money directly to the actual cause that needs it. Sorry buddy that doesn't work for me.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Touch the sky
I guess when Kanye made that song he didnt realize that Touch the Sky was short for "Put your hands in the air, Touch the sky and give me all your money lol."
Yep the legendary Evil Knievel is suing Kanye over the Touch the Sky video. Cant blame him really after all its a crappy video and Kanye is an annoying arrogant s.o.b and in the video it wasnt too hard to figure out who he was impersonating. What I find funny though is that in Knievel's suit you would think that he (Kneivel) walked around with a halo on his head.
Knievel says in the suit "the “vulgar and offensive” images depicted in the video damage his reputation."
Ummm what reputation? Last I checked Mr Evil your name wasnt Pastor Kneivel, you werent a moral signpost for anyone, no one was hanging onto your words like a televangelist, you aint even made a stay in school special son. You were a madman jumping over obstacles in death defying stunts. Parents were like "boy you is a idiot or what! dont do that foolishness dat you see he doing on tv and go and pop ya neck. he head could only be bad trying to jump over a grand canyon. chupse!"
So how does this very tame video I might add ruin your reputation?
I mean if you dont like Pamela Anderson, Tracee Ellis Ross or Nia Long just come out and say so but dont make it seem like the video is something its not.
Its a cheesy video about a guy jumping over the grand canyon getting mad press while a couple of girls are on his jock (wait hold up does anyone use the phrase on your jock anymore or am I showing how un-hip I really am).
As an aside Kanye is one of the few guys who makes videos that actually turn me off from songs. The All Falls down video with Stacey Dash completely ruined that song for me. Ruined I say ruined!
But back to Knievel. If anything I'd be mad cause at the end of the video the Kanye Evil Knievel character crashes and burns in his stunt attempt but come on guy.
And the whole "and he uses my image to catapult himself on the public,” umm Dr umm Mr Evil Kanye was getting mad press before he used your image in his video. He aint no johnny come lately trying to use you to get some shine. Ever heard a little ditty called Jesus walks that was all over the radio 24-7 a few years ago. Yep that was him and umm your likeness aint nowhere in there.
Still like I said cant blame Mr Evil for the suit. He probably needs the cash and Kanye did use his likeness but lets not go overboard with the hyperbole about vulgar images now.
Yep the legendary Evil Knievel is suing Kanye over the Touch the Sky video. Cant blame him really after all its a crappy video and Kanye is an annoying arrogant s.o.b and in the video it wasnt too hard to figure out who he was impersonating. What I find funny though is that in Knievel's suit you would think that he (Kneivel) walked around with a halo on his head.
Knievel says in the suit "the “vulgar and offensive” images depicted in the video damage his reputation."
Ummm what reputation? Last I checked Mr Evil your name wasnt Pastor Kneivel, you werent a moral signpost for anyone, no one was hanging onto your words like a televangelist, you aint even made a stay in school special son. You were a madman jumping over obstacles in death defying stunts. Parents were like "boy you is a idiot or what! dont do that foolishness dat you see he doing on tv and go and pop ya neck. he head could only be bad trying to jump over a grand canyon. chupse!"
So how does this very tame video I might add ruin your reputation?
I mean if you dont like Pamela Anderson, Tracee Ellis Ross or Nia Long just come out and say so but dont make it seem like the video is something its not.
Its a cheesy video about a guy jumping over the grand canyon getting mad press while a couple of girls are on his jock (wait hold up does anyone use the phrase on your jock anymore or am I showing how un-hip I really am).
As an aside Kanye is one of the few guys who makes videos that actually turn me off from songs. The All Falls down video with Stacey Dash completely ruined that song for me. Ruined I say ruined!
But back to Knievel. If anything I'd be mad cause at the end of the video the Kanye Evil Knievel character crashes and burns in his stunt attempt but come on guy.
And the whole "and he uses my image to catapult himself on the public,” umm Dr umm Mr Evil Kanye was getting mad press before he used your image in his video. He aint no johnny come lately trying to use you to get some shine. Ever heard a little ditty called Jesus walks that was all over the radio 24-7 a few years ago. Yep that was him and umm your likeness aint nowhere in there.
Still like I said cant blame Mr Evil for the suit. He probably needs the cash and Kanye did use his likeness but lets not go overboard with the hyperbole about vulgar images now.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Public Service Announcement
Sigh! Just for the record its called a dress shirt not a button up.
Don't let Jay Z and a bunch of other stupid rappers steer you wrong! Think about it. If you're over the age of ten you grew up with your father, or your uncle wearing a dress shirt to work or church even if they only went for a funeral. None of this button up nonsense. That dude in the bank who used to cash your mom's cheques used to wear a dress shirt, the big office executive used to wear a dress shirt, nuh button up, probably one that was monogramed and he might have some nice cufflinks and that sort of business to look nice. Your grandfather used to wear one heavy with cassava starch to keep it looking sharp and wrinkle free. Nobody didn't want to look ruff dry, and check the link if ya not sure what I talking about when I say ruff dry. Look even you as a child had to put on one maybe with a little clip-on tie to wear to church so you know what I'm talking about. Dress shirt not button up.
Look button up is what you do to a dress shirt. Its an action or description for what is done to the shirt not the name for the shirt. I mean while its true we might call sweaters pullovers and I just alluded to the clip-on let those be the exceptions lets not change up the vocabulary with this button up nonsense.
I mean you don't hear anyone saying I put on a "throw over me head" or a "throw-over" when they are talking about t-shirts or vests do you? Or this morning when I was putting on my "one foot at a time" or "one foot" to describe putting on pants do you?
And what happen if you button your shirt from top to bottom? Doesn't that legitimately make a button up a button down?
Alright I've said my piece. Be forewarned. Dress shirt not button up.
Thank you!
and yes I do know that Button up is supposed to be only one type of dress shirt.
Don't let Jay Z and a bunch of other stupid rappers steer you wrong! Think about it. If you're over the age of ten you grew up with your father, or your uncle wearing a dress shirt to work or church even if they only went for a funeral. None of this button up nonsense. That dude in the bank who used to cash your mom's cheques used to wear a dress shirt, the big office executive used to wear a dress shirt, nuh button up, probably one that was monogramed and he might have some nice cufflinks and that sort of business to look nice. Your grandfather used to wear one heavy with cassava starch to keep it looking sharp and wrinkle free. Nobody didn't want to look ruff dry, and check the link if ya not sure what I talking about when I say ruff dry. Look even you as a child had to put on one maybe with a little clip-on tie to wear to church so you know what I'm talking about. Dress shirt not button up.
Look button up is what you do to a dress shirt. Its an action or description for what is done to the shirt not the name for the shirt. I mean while its true we might call sweaters pullovers and I just alluded to the clip-on let those be the exceptions lets not change up the vocabulary with this button up nonsense.
I mean you don't hear anyone saying I put on a "throw over me head" or a "throw-over" when they are talking about t-shirts or vests do you? Or this morning when I was putting on my "one foot at a time" or "one foot" to describe putting on pants do you?
And what happen if you button your shirt from top to bottom? Doesn't that legitimately make a button up a button down?
Alright I've said my piece. Be forewarned. Dress shirt not button up.
Thank you!
and yes I do know that Button up is supposed to be only one type of dress shirt.
Sunday, December 10, 2006
5 things
I've been tagged. Not really a meme fan but I'm not really blogging much these days so here goes.
Five things you didn't know about me.
p.s: don't expect anything too deep.
1) I'm not one of those try everything once people. I'll try very specific things and if its something I actually find I like I really go all out to be better than mediocre in it. I despise mediocre.
2) I used to do spoken word poetry but I dislike, with very few exceptions, most spoken word poets. I find them too self righteous and most of their work is just way too performance driven anyways.
3) "I like to rock 100 miles but you know I'm far from running" - Showbiz on Maestro's Fine Tune the Mic. Just found out the clothing line isn't dead yet either so that made my day.
4) In another life I would/should have been a DJ. A good one too.
5) I'm seriously considering giving up blogging at the moment.
Not tagging anyone but if you feel the urge to do this. Go with it.
Five things you didn't know about me.
p.s: don't expect anything too deep.
1) I'm not one of those try everything once people. I'll try very specific things and if its something I actually find I like I really go all out to be better than mediocre in it. I despise mediocre.
2) I used to do spoken word poetry but I dislike, with very few exceptions, most spoken word poets. I find them too self righteous and most of their work is just way too performance driven anyways.
3) "I like to rock 100 miles but you know I'm far from running" - Showbiz on Maestro's Fine Tune the Mic. Just found out the clothing line isn't dead yet either so that made my day.
4) In another life I would/should have been a DJ. A good one too.
5) I'm seriously considering giving up blogging at the moment.
Not tagging anyone but if you feel the urge to do this. Go with it.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Weird
Ok besides talking to myself (and I mean full blown conversations like Eminem and Stan) there is also this weird bit I do to relax myself occasionally.
I start whistling or singing that silly 'These are a few of my favourite things' tune. Its not like I'm a Sound of Music fan or anything, actually despise the movie, but I think it started a few years ago and then I realized hey this tune is infectous and just by whistling it I can piss people off cause it gets into their head and then they too start to sing it. Oh alternatively I'll email some of my friends and be like I'm singing that Favourite things song again and start quoting the words and it gets into their heads too. I love that.
Oh and occasionally I remix it (hey they dont call me diddy for nothing lol). I've got a dancehall remix, an opera remix, a beatbox remix and my all time favorite a bajan remix sung in a totally off-key definitive bajan voice with words like 'when de dog bite ya, when de bee sting ya, when you feeling real real bad, i duz simply remember my favourite things an den i doan feel sooooooo sad'
I start whistling or singing that silly 'These are a few of my favourite things' tune. Its not like I'm a Sound of Music fan or anything, actually despise the movie, but I think it started a few years ago and then I realized hey this tune is infectous and just by whistling it I can piss people off cause it gets into their head and then they too start to sing it. Oh alternatively I'll email some of my friends and be like I'm singing that Favourite things song again and start quoting the words and it gets into their heads too. I love that.
Oh and occasionally I remix it (hey they dont call me diddy for nothing lol). I've got a dancehall remix, an opera remix, a beatbox remix and my all time favorite a bajan remix sung in a totally off-key definitive bajan voice with words like 'when de dog bite ya, when de bee sting ya, when you feeling real real bad, i duz simply remember my favourite things an den i doan feel sooooooo sad'
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