Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Free Range Chicken

So a new West Indian restaurant opens up near to my workplace. Now I work close to Chinatown so most of my lunches are some sort of Asian food, especially when I go out with the other staff. Of course there are a few West Indian food places close to me too that I occasionally frequent (note the turn of the phrase occasionally frequent, makes no sense eh?) and infact just the other day I introduce some fellows to the roti. Just doing my part for cross cultural exchanges.

Anyway a new spot opened and I am all about at least giving a bredren a chance to show me what he got. So I found this place last weekend but I wasn't hungry then so I told myself I would check it out today. Now today lunchtime was short for me because I had certain appointments to keep so from saying that I should have known not to go to a West Indian place but my head bad so I went anyways.

Now I could make this blog about the some of the questionable service that you get in certain Caribbean restaurants but I don't want to paint all with the same brush...At least not today so I will not mention the fact that they didn't acknowledge my presence in the restaurant until I was there nearly 10 minutes. No, what this blog is about is the fact that they decided that since they offering FREE RANGE jerk chicken they can jack up the price on a jerk chicken lunch to 10 dollars when you can get it at the other places for anywhere between 4 and 7 dollars.

10 Dollars? I know allya saying that is Caribana prices when the fellows does make you pay two three times the usual price for a little piece of food on the road like if the chicken name soca chicken or road march fowl and duz come with a pre-packaged with a lil' costume so you can jump in a band . I mean even a little patty and cocoa bread on Caribana day duz be real real expensive. So if you aint have big pockets eat before you left home on Caribana. I warning you.

Infact, true true story, I hear that one year the calypsonian Rupee was down Caribana and he was getting real real hungry. This was before he was a big soca star ya know and he pockets was on E. Flat and empty. Anyway a Jamaican fellow selling some food see he out there half deading and decide ta have pity on he. So he call Rupee over and hand him two bakes and Rupee was so glad to see the bakes that he jubilantly responded "Thanks for the festival". After two bites of the bakes, he then realize wait that sound like it could be a tune ya know and next thing ya know the man had a big song and he did a soca star taking bout 'Thanks for the festival, thanks for the carnival' . See how things duz work out? Now in case ya slow or ya bajan which aint the same thing and ya aint get the joke, what we bajans duz call bakes is basically the same thing Jamaicans duz call festivals give or take one ingredient. So now you can all let out a collective ohhhhhh!

Anyway as usual I digress. Now I don't see why a man got to pay 5 dollars extra for a pieca chicken just because somebody decide to write FREE RANGE on a menu in front of it so I had to leave the restaurant. I mean when I was growing up we used to raise chickens free range in the back yard because it was cheaper than buying from the supermarket and now you telling me that FREE RANGE more expensive that the supermarket regular chickens?

No boy, I aint paying no extra money for no free range chicken.

Plus how am I to really know is actually free range chicken you serving me? Just because you put the words free range in front of chicken that don't mean it true. Why I could name this blog Pudding and Souse and today I still writing about chicken. Ya see what I mean?

I mean you have any proof that the chicken is free range? Show me some photos of the chicken out in the yard running round, show me a video tape. Show me the chicken ID, passport, Citizenship card, something so. Show me he ancestry and sirehood, he pedigree. Give me a letter of recommendation from Farmer Brown extolling the virtues of said chicken who roamed the free range.

Show me a detailed listing of this chicken's dietary habits. How am I to know that he wasn't eating the same stuff they feed to the non-free range birds? How I know that the farmer wasn't feeding the chicken the good stuff but the chicken like some folks who would pass up good cook food for McDonalds used to sneak out to the non-free range hangout to eat some of the other food? Prove it to me. If you cant prove that to me then why should I pay extra just on your say so.

Let me see the chicken alive so I can interrogate him about his activities and dietary habits. You Mr Fowl, is it true that on the night of October 25th you were seen eating non-free range food? IS it not also true that you were in fact head of a fowl ring of undercover birds who dealt strictly in the smuggling of non-free range food to the free range birds?. We have video to prove it. Show me some ID, tell me some stories of your days on the free range. Prove to me that you are infact a yard fowl.

Anyway I hope you get my point. I not paying no extra just on your say so that it is free range because all I see is a pieca chicken on my plate and I cant tell who he mudda was, who he father was or where he grow up so is juss you word that he free range and I aint coughing up my hard earned coppers just so.

7 comments:

Abeni said...

Lol.well I never heard the term free range before.Is a bajan term or wuh?

Jdid said...

nope not bajan. its what they call produce that isnt raised with the steroid injections and the chemicals in the feed etc. So basically is a yard fowl I talking bout. One that can walk around and pick up lil dust and rocks and insects an pick bout the yard instead of the ones cooped up in cramped quarters that can barely stand up.

Anonymous said...

JDid, who you foolin seh you a nuh comedian? Man, you can go sign up for a half hour pon Comedy Central. See, I here reading you post and it just sound like I listening to some o mi Bajan bredrins....you almost mek me choke pon the bone from the snapper I eating for mi dinner :-))

Anyway, like Abeni, I was a bit confused 'bout this Free Range 'ting. Until I read the rest of the post, I got the drift from the context. Nuh "Organically Grown" them call dem up in America and the UK?

But, I agree with you. $10 sound like nuff to pay for a jerk chicken lunch yes. I think I would have to be like you and flash out, but maybe I woulda tell dem what else dem can go jerk. Dem lick dem head. I will be happy to eat the "Non Free Range" one for less.

Regarding bakes, you may have stimulated a post by me...have a likke experience I had in Tobago with them. Sorry 'bout the long comment. Dr. D.

Jdid said...

yes doc, they duz call it organically grown as well.

I've got to go check your archives for your post on the bakes.

Burke said...

You are toooooooooooo funny! LOL

obifromsouthlondon said...

went to a jamaican resturant on saturday and for once I got prompt, good, quality service - rice and "corn fed" jerk chicken.

Jdid said...

I like the "for once" obi lol. If I start to talk about some of the experiences with the service in West Indian resturants it wont be pretty.