Saturday, November 13, 2004

Me and you aint friends

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 22:6:

Parents need to have a firm hand on their kids from young. I'm going to give it to you straight; I don't have any children yet but I'm from the old school as far as parenting goes. I'm not all about being friends with your kids. For me its about controlling your kids, getting them to respect you and making them realize that you are an adult and not on the same level as them. They are under your care and that you are the boss. Yep I said it. You the parent, are the boss.

Its all well and good to go the whole friends route that the new parenting guides espouse but I'm going to be all about the respect. Do what I say, no lip and give me my proper respect.

Now why I'm speaking about this today is because two times today on public transit I saw examples of kids who just don't respect their parents and parents who cant control these kids.

The first was at the train station where a mom asked her 5 year old to move out of the way on the escalator. Kid had the audacity to turn around and ask her why and when she told him it was so that other persons could get past him he responding by asking her if his standing in the way was a crime. Was a crime? What the !!? Now I know, as God is my witness, unless I'm senile no 5 year old is going to be talking to me that way. Since when have the inmates taken over the institution? I mean I'm not going to say I'm going to resort to corporal punishment if its unnecessary because I wasn't brought up that way and it would be unfair to impose it on my kids but on the real I remember the good old days when all that back chat would warrant 'two box ina ya mout' from your moms. Homie did not play that! You had to respect your moms, you pops and your neighbors too. If you gave Miss Johnson down the road some lip she would come to your mom's house stand up by the window and lodge a complaint against you. You didn't stand a chance because your parents would not ask you if what she said was true or not. You were guilty , guilty GUILTY. ya mudda wud lik ya and she would tell your father when he got home and it would be more hot lashes in ya tail. Whapax!

The second situation with kids gone wild was with this lady who got on the bus with her three little daughters. Oldest daughter couldn't have been more than 9 years old. First off when they got on the bus they just jumped in and ran down the aisle to the back with the mom laughing at their behavior. Cool! Then they were all in the back joking and mekkin' sport. No worries. Then we got to our transfer spot and as they waited mom and daughters fooled around, pulling at one another and horsing around which was all well and fine........ Until the bus came.

Bus begins to pull up and the mom is desperately trying to be serious and get the kids to stop fooling around to no avail. Then as the bus pulls into the bay one of the little girls almost steps out or is pushed out infront of the bus. Luckily the bus driver was alert. Then the mom starts berating the kids about their behavior and saying that's why she never takes them anywhere. Meanwhile the kids are completely ignoring her as they get on the bus and start pushing the stop requested button every other stop and just wilding out.

Now see that's where the friendly thing fell apart. Ok cool, no need to be totally draconian with your kids and I have no issue with playing with them or joking with them but everything in its place and time and when the parent say cut that out, cease and seccle wid the foolishness, I fully expect that parental voice to be heard. I not playing. I serious like a judge.

The thing is some parents allow their kids to wild out at an early age and laugh it off as just childish behavior and then when the child gets older the parent attempts to reign in the child's behavior. Problem is its too late and the child is too far gone. The child has become accustomed to disobeying the parent and their rules.

Remember the bible verse from the top of this blog. I'm serious. Do not let the kids get out of hand because later when they become teenagers and adults and turn out badly the parent will be blaming the child for being bad behaved, hard-ears, wicked or no good but whose fault is it when the parent did not try to control the child's actions, instill from early the right way to do things, and teach them respect and good behavior.

I always heard from my dad that sometimes you have to be "cruel to be kind" (my new personal mantra and working title of my yet to be penned autobiography) meaning sometimes the laws and rules you lay down may seem harsh but its for the best. So at some stage you have to lay down the law and your kids will see it as you flexing your muscles and being unkind to them but in reality you are just teaching them for the future or protecting them.

Mind you if the child lawless all de talk I feel ya gotta gi dem liks. nuff nuff liks. beat kill dem wid liks an more liks. I not joking!

Hey but what do I know I aint got no pickey to contend wid.


4panist said...

well you sound serious so your kids better be ready to "recognize". I agree you gotta start from young but I too can not speak from personal experience. Maybe I should save this for 10 years and see what I think then.

nahmix said...

You have just hit on one of the things that truly pisses me off. I hate timid parents and unruly children. You should see how some of these kids act in the grocery store, throwing tantrums until they get the junk that they want. I agree with you 100%! Parents must train these kids from early on.

Abeni said...

Yup,many parents like they just don't have the will to make these little children listen.Sometimes I see some children throwing some tantrums in the supermarkets and the parents just stand their helpless.I know I wouldn't have dared to try that with my mother..not if I wanted to live.

boloram jackupshebatty said...

yuh damn roght...beat dem till dey pee dem self!!!!!

Burke said...

I can't stand to see kids behaving like that. I think the children need discipline from early on. Not necessarily hitting them as a first resort, but when you speak to them that should be enough. If it isn't, then I'm not opposed to a spanking on their butts or a slap on their hands if they touch things they shouldn't. I don't have any kids myself, but I have nieces and nephews that are grown up now, and I had a hand in disciplining them when necessary.

Anonymous said...

Agree with you JDid. Kids have to learn to respect their parents. I see to often where parents in the US tell me that they have no control over their kids, and I ask myself, how the hell you a 20-something, 30-something can't control a little 5-year old tyke? That is why I glad that my grandparents taught me respect and honor for those that came before me. My grandomther used to always say "don't spare the rod and spoil the child" and Lord knows that the rod was not spared with me!


obifromsouthlondon said...

in the uk they're trying to ban smacking, something about leading to abuse. nanny state. now gotta resort to fear of God ("u wait till we get home") tactics. gotta love the liberals.

Anonymous said...

Agree with you 100%!

If dem doan hear..licks yes! Dr. D.