Thursday, March 24, 2005

More drama than what?

A prime time NBC TV show.
Le Fleur Le Flah Eskoska - OGC/Helter Skelter

First of all apologies because I am really tired this morning. Didn't get home till after midnight then watched ANTM on tape and now trying to rush back to work. Thank God its a short week.

Previously on America's Next Top Model (ANTM) . Click here and here.

Now I'm not even going to try to be objective here. Brandi aka Glamour Girl Sue get unfair this week. It was a conspiracy. Ask Brother Malcolm if you don't believe me she was hoodwinked, she was bamboozled, she was led astray, she ran amok and in the end she was eliminated while Lluvy the "unconventional beauty" remained.

The show started with the girls lining up to use the phone to call home to their loved ones. Somehow Brandi had been waiting to use the phone and a whole group formed around the phone and she got bumped to the back of the line and she wasn't having it so Brandi got a little upset. Now I always hear my mudda say when a dog duz suck eggs anytime eggs missing he will get blamed and such is the case with Brandi. Its already been established that she has an attitude problem which may just be a case of her just standing up for herself more than others would like and so anytime she says anything the other girls are ready to go with that whole cliched attitude problem and say oh Brandi's just acting up.

So Brandi got a little upset over the phone issue. Luckily Tiffany was there to calm her down. Tiffany decided she was going to play the role of big sis to Brandi because apparently she "used to" wild out and understands that behavior. Apparently Tiffany is now a changed woman. NOT!

Fast forward past the silly Ballerina exercise to the girls night out for Dinner. In quick form Tiffany lik back 4 glasses of white wine like it was a 40 of shiltz malt liquor. Next thing I know Tif giving us a whole bunch of drunken rumshop talk. "Man I love all y'all and you girls had a profound effect on my life blah blah blah" Two seconds later Tiffany's head is below the table and she's puking up her guts. cuhdear! What a shame. Memo to ANTM producers: next season screen for alcoholism.

Then we see a tender moment where Tif's explaining she has issues with leaving home and leaving her child with her baby father etc. Guess that was this weeks' excuse for strange behavior.

After this they got to chat with Beverly Johnson who was the first black woman on the cover of Vogue back in 1973 apparently. It was funny because when they first met all of the black contestant faces immediately lighted up while some of the other girls clearly looked like huh who is she?

Onto the main drama. This week's test was a shoot on a tennis court where the photographer was being deliberately nasty to the girls. It was a test to see how they did under pressure. The guy was deliberately rude, condescending and annoying to the girls making nothing they did appear to be correct. Some girls cried, some were ready to kick his ass and some just managed pained expressions on their faces. None of the girls however beat the crap out of him although I know Tiffany and all of her 70lbs was ready to give him a beatdown. Memo to photog: don't mess with the alcoholic girl.

Speaking of 70 pound Tiffany. It was only this week while outfitted in their tennis outfits that I realized how skinny Tiffany was. Seriously no wonder she couldn't handle her liquor well. I don't really want to go off on her and how "poor raky" (another bajan word fa y'all) she look but honestly she's a bit too much skin and bones for a girl who lists Popeyes hot wings as her favorite food on the show's website.

Anyway after the girls each had their horrible experience with the tennis shoot, they were in a room chatting about how bad things were when one model Tatiana said something catty to Brandi. Now who tell she say dat! Brandi was already upset by the photo shoot and her belief that the judges would blame her attitude for her having a bad shoot when Tatiana goes off saying something smart. Brandi definitely wasn't having it. She called Tatiana on it and was ready to beat her down and to be honest I cant say I blame her. So Brandi went off on her and the other girls were all acting like why are you acting like this. Why all the attitude? Why cant you be docile like us?

Now I feel I would be remiss if I didn't say something here. I know most of my readers have noticed but I feel the need to reiterate that this racist b.s on TV where black women are always being portrayed as having attitude problems and ready to fly off the handle is out of control. There are cases where these sisters are being deliberately put in positions where they are forced to defend themselves and then we get to view a skewed picture of the situation to make it look like they are crazy or overly aggressive.

Either they deliberately look for fragile individuals like Tiffany or Brandi to perpetrate this myth of the hostile angry black woman or/and they go out of their way to put black females in situations where they will fight back and be aggressive. There are aggressive black women, there are overly aggressive black women and then there are not aggressive black women. Just like all other races of women, black women run a range of attitudes. We have docile black women too ya know but you wouldn't believe that if you watched TV these days.

Why is it that every black woman who speaks up for herself on these shows suddenly gets a rep as hostile etc? I'm not standing up for Brandi here 100% because she did go off unnecessarily (from the viewpoint of what was televised) two shows ago and she does appear to have issues. But its just frustrating no make that annoying as hell seeing this play out on TV with black women in almost every reality show as it reinforces stereotypes just like the black man as criminal/drug dealer/hustler/misogynist/illiterate/pimp playa that TV seems to perpetrate on the daily.

Plus just imagine the effect this crap is having on black kids growing up. Just something to think about amongst yourselves.

Ok down from soapbox and back to the show. There was a brief interlude where three girls got to meet Serena Williams who talked about her backtofront company AnereS and watched the girls do their model walk.

The final event was a photo shoot where the girls were dressed as zodiac signs and were suspended in the air. To be honest it was a bit cheesy but the main highlight was Tatiana involved in a whole discussion about Brandi threatening her and basically dissing Brandi again. This time Tiffany stood up for Brandi. Black women of the world unite! She said that the other girls were egging on Brandi with their behavior and that it was unfair for them to be trying to get under her skin. See I tell wunnah is a conspiracy. Anyway Brandi caught the tail end of the conversation and was straight ready to whoop Tatiana's ass and I was seriously hoping that she would beat her down but Tiffany restrained her.

We get to the finale and Tyra does her little talk, while wearing a rather revealing top showing off nuff cleavage. Real or Fake get your votes in now. Looks like Tyra the Tyrant trying to steal the show from the young gal dem.

It comes down to one more picture and the final two contestants are Brandi and Lluvy. Now get this. Tyra and the others absolutely hated Lluvy's photos. Clearly she will not be top model because she is as I said last week "beautiful in her own way". While looking at LLuvy's photos the judges said she looked like a dead fish and Tyra went as far as saying she took the worst pictures in ANTM history. They also said that Brandi has a great face and loads of potential.

So how can the dead fish beat out Brandi? I guess it all came down to the attitude problem.


Anonymous said...

You sure this ANTM is not really a soap opera in disguise? Dr. D.

Anonymous said...

good review - i never seem to catch it. maybe, cause i don't know when it's on! ;)

interesting insight about the way black women are protrayed on t.v. sooo true! and do you notice how in t.v. shows, where it's mainly white characters, how often the 'black' women, talks stereotypically 'black'. like in the new pampers or huggies commercial with the white and black baby girls, the black baby has that 'voice'.

btw - my complusion to finish reading your blog, is making me late - i gotta get ready for work!

summer m. said...

i've officially decided to rely on your reviews to keep up. i tried to watch that shit yesterday, omg how wack!!!

you're doing us a public servce, jdid. thanx, homie.

Jazz said...

Before I had seen an episode, I wanted Brandi to win because she didn't look like a typical "Model." After the first episode, she should have been gone. No one will get anywhere with an attitude like that.

Jdid said...

@Dr D - it aint really too well disguised either
@purfiktgurl - well at least i had company in being late for work lol
@summer - public service? I'm about ready to quit this show. the girls aint good looking and the judging is wack.
@jazz - yep after the first show she should have gone but having been kept around she shouldnt have been dumped last night

Melody said...

OMG, Jdid, ah totally agree wif what Purfiktgurl said--even de baby inna de Pampers ad have de ebonics down pat--now how that? It wasn't me alone notice it. De baby can't even talk yet, but she DOES have de ghetto twang! Anyway, 'Gi Dem A Run' finally get de run, eh! She kinda get her over-due still. True word yu say 'bout how Hollywood stereotype every sista.

Scratchie said...

I'm slow today. Read this and confused to hell. Maybe one of these days I'll figure it all out.

Lene said...

it's true. i'm sure they edited the times they were attacking brandy, but focused on the times she reacted. bah! a pox upon them! but lluvy looks like an SUV. dat deh fish renk iyah! hahahahaha. tyra's boobs are of the tupperware persuasion... i'm telling you! either way, they looks damn good. why couldn't lil' kim get the surgeon's number from her....

Der Ozzman said...

JDid, I swear, you almost make me want to watch this show. However, I think I'll rely on your reviews.

Jdid said...

@melody - havent noticed those ads yet
@scratchie - dont worryi confuse myself daily
@starfoxx - lol, lil kim got bigger issues these days lol
@ozzman - nooooo , dont waste your time on this show star. just dont do it

Anonymous said...

Tiffany looks like a man.
Brandy is ugly. I have no idea why they would pick someone like that to be on american's next top model.

And also, b/c they are both from the "ghetto," they both have similar attitudes about life. It seems like they want everything to be handed to them on a silver platter b/c they "deserve" it and not b/c they worked for it and earned it.

Anonymous said...

Tiffany was like a fish out of water. Brandi was worse. I thought both women chanelled the typical black women from the 'hood. They just want to have a good time, not work, and expect everything to be handed to them just because they had a "rough life". I'm sick and tired of hearing these people come on the show and cry about how rough they had it. People have choices. It's just pathetic and ironic that the choices THEY made were the OBVIOUSLY WRONG ones with the outcomes that they now have to presently deal with. I can't understand that... And the excuse they give of "I am/was angry." Well, anyone who is angry for 20 some years maybe should go get their head checked out at a psychologist. GET OVER IT AND MOVE ON WITH LIFE. I think that a lot of these ghetto girls' thinking is backwards. Always resorting to what happened in the past, never focussing on the future or the outcomes of their present actions. Maybe that's why there are so many single black mothers out there--because they aren't thinking.