Monday, June 13, 2005

Do I look like I work Here?

So Saturday afternoon I had to run a few errands. Was chipping up and down the place all afternoon running from place to place in an attempt to get back home at a decent time. Was really enjoying the heat too. Don't know what the temperature was but when you can feel the heat its a good thing. Think I may have lost a few pounds sweating.

Now one of the errands I had to run involved going to Ikea. So me and the wife got to Ikea, knew what we wanted, knew what aisle to pick it up in and were on a mission to get out of that spot as quickly as possible especially after we saw the large Saturday afternoon crowd that was there. So we went straight to the aisle and headed for the location of the item. Only thing was they had moved around stuff since we were last there a few months back. Wonderful!

So looking around the wife said there was some computer somewhere and the staff could link us up with what we wanted but since the place was jam packed with customers I said to myself naa let me just quickly run upstairs to the display area (which is usually separate from the area where the items are stored), find the item and find where the pieces can be picked up cause that may be quicker than getting help from one of these staff members that were running around the place like headless chickens.

So I left the wife and quick so I was heading through the store on a mission. Only problem was the store was packed and is also in the midst of renovation so it was a bit difficult finding my way through it since some of the regular corridors were out of bounds. Now before I go on I should mention I was wearing a Image hosted by red Atlanta Hawks Jersey (similar to the one shown here) and jeans. Yes this is important to the story, I not just giving you a rundown on my fashion choices fa style. Follow me nuh!

Now after a bit of scrambling through the downstairs maze I found the stairs to get to the next floor. As I'm heading towards the stairs, a lady coming in the opposite direction just started looking at me and I know for some strange reason she thinks I work there. How do I know this, I'm not sure but something in her eyes said this lady thinks you are an employee and will ask you a question. No sooner did that thought cross my mind than she starts talking to me as I'm speeding past, asking me where to find some item or the other. As if I should know! However , she seemed to realize her mistake and just looked at me again and said sorry. Maybe it was the look on my face like I haven't a clue what you talking about lady.

Anyway I made it upstairs quickly found my item and the location of the pieces and hurried my way back downstairs. Made a few wrong turns on the way and on one of those turns a middle aged lady with her family came up to me with that same look on her face like I work at Ikea and said "Can you tell me the quickest route out of here?" I responded "I'm looking for the same thing myself." Now as Paul Keens Douglas would say 'who tell me say that!'

Bwoy ya shudda see how de wuman a look pun me after I uttered those words. A shocked expression came over the woman's face followed by a look like I had just said some of the foulest bad words ever uttered by man to her in front of her family. Nuh lie! The woman look at me like I was just incredibly evil and should be struck down for my innocent response. Cuhdear! Although I don't think my comment was out of place and I said it with rather jokingly rather than saying it harshly or aggressively I think that comment somehow upset her. I figure she probably reported me to the manager before she left like 'and one of your employees was rude to me and wouldn't show me the way out of the building! Yes tall black feisty bald dude, that is de one!'

Oh well I would probably feel a bit bad if she did do cause I might lose my little pick (job) at Ikea. Oh wait a minute I forgot I DONT ACTUALLY WORK at Ikea you moron! Don't believe me? Need proof? Look at their uniform. Image hosted by
Now scroll back up to what I was wearing. Do you see a similarity? They are wearing dress shirts, I'm wearing a basketball jersey with a number in the front. Their shirts are yellow, mine is red. They wear slacks, I'm wearing jeans. They have buttons in the front of their shirts I do not.

Not satisfied, not enough proof for ya. Well lets say I was an employee. What did ya think was the reason I was wearing something different? You think I didn't understand the word uni-form? Oh I get it you know how us black folks like to always be different. You think that I took the regular uniform called in Xzibit and I pimped out my Ikea uniform to turn it into an Atlanta Hawks basketball jersey? Ok then. Chupse! Why a brother in Ikea cant be a customer?

Now I know some of you are saying maybe they were just asking questions. No, no no. I know when folks are just casually asking questions to fellow customers, I got no problem with that, I'll answer if I can but clearly here I could tell that there was some belief that I was an employee.

Still it was kind of funny because for a few minutes I had to look at all the employees to make sure that red was not part of their uniform. Saw some wearing blue vests over the yellow but absolutely no red of any kind anywhere. So what was that all about! Dumb ****, I don't work here leave me the hell alone! lol!


The Marlo Girl said...

for some strange reason that happens to me every where i go. one time i went to best buy, and i was wearing a black leather motorbike jacket, black turtleneck sweater, and a pair of VERY low-rise jeans tucked into a pair of FUSCHIA slouchy boots. i was looking to purchase the laptop i am working from right now, and do you know this man came right up to me and asked me where he could find such-and-such an item.

i was so flabbergasted that my reaction "um... i don't work here" might have come out a little more harsh than i intended. the funniest thing was that he proceeded to cuss me out talking 'bout "chuh! you coulda been de moggle fi di helectronix dem! how mi spose to know yuh nuh work 'ere? yuh nuh have sign hovah yuh head whuh seh yuh nuh HEMploy by de place! rass!"

and he kissed his teeth and walked away. if i wasn't already so bothered for having to buy myself a friggin' laptop in the first place, i just would have laughed at him.

the story is funny now, though!

Mad Bull said...

Marlo Girl,I think I may know the reason why people are always mistaking you for an employee in all these places. To be sure, I need to see a picture off you in those very low-rise jeans... ;-)
Post the picture and I'll see if my suspicions are right...

Abeni said...

LOL,I have lost count of the number of times people asked me for instructions assuming am working at th eplace.And yes,many times the business place wear uniforms.So am at a loss as to why they do it.

Nat said...

haha... happens to me too and im usually a wise ass about it.. but talkin bout ikea.. i was at the one in north york today and cot dayum its a zoo!!!! its like you need to pop a tylenol for the headache u get within seconds of walking inside that maze. and trying to get an employee to talk to you in there is like asking for rain in this drought!!

Campfyah said...

Now yuh all know de onlee jobs we black cud do is the service industry. It happens to all of us at some time.

Too funny.

Thykness said...

LOL Wow Great Story!!! For some odd reason that very same thing happens to me at HOOTERS!!! I wonder why?
Great site and yes I am a regular, however this is the 1st time I'm commenting.

Don Tate II said...

Well, at least no one accused you of stealing something. Had it been me in the same situation, they'd probably stopped me and accused me of stuffing one of their...couches? under my shirt or something. Kinda like that we all look alike thing.

obifromsouthlondon said...

hahahahahha didy you are some funny guy. lol. good ol' ikea. I bet the layout's the same as the one near my yard.

Why do they always ask? wassup with that. boy I always get up to some mischief when they do lol.

Yo! got some ish for you. Check the blog. don't fret

Nikki said...

LOL, the uniforms look nothing like the Hawks jersey!! That's wild, but maybe because you were working your way through the store at such a fierce rate, they thought you knew the ins and outs of the place.

Sunshine said...

Hi Jdid-LOL- Choman doan sweat de small things. Try being Chinie in a Chinie restuarant. De wait staff always and I mean always as soon as dem tek me order dem a blaze off in de Chinie language and I'm embrasssed to tell dem me no speakie de chinie. Try being Chinie and rent Rush Hour 1 and 2 and people giveyou that look-you know that look that they know you know karate, which I don't know.

Lene said...

this story is jokes. red looks nothing like yellow... not even similiar.

i hate when people ask me if i work in my store, when i clearly have a big ole tshirt that says, "STAFF" in white letters on the back. PLUS, i'm wearing the official colours of green and khaki and wearing a name tag. "no, i don't work here, i'm just visiting..."

Zantiferous3 said...

Don't get me started... *sigh* you know I think everythign is racial already. LOL Now to find out it's like that OUTSIDE OF THE US TOO??? *SLAM*

Amadeo said...

I would have had to have some fun with those people. If your color blind I understand, but color blind, can't read and just ignorant...I gotta have fun with you.

dorna! said...

After years of Jdid+Ikea-esque incidents such as these I finally figured out the reason. These people are not too bright, but like moths to flame they seek out intelligence.

You said it yourself, you moved like a man on a mission, ergo, you knew what you were doing. So the only way to avoid a repeat of your Ikea experience is to look as irredeemably lost and confused as they are.

Anonymous said...

It does happen everywhere.

Marlo Girl sound like is a Jamaican dat was a ask her the question.

BTW, JDid, as an employee of Ikea, could you tell me where I can find the closest Ikea outlet here in Ja? :-) I appreciate you sending me a rapid response by e-mail...or I goin report you rass to you boss! LOL. Dr. D.

Goldi said...

Ikea - the Gap of swedish furniture stores...

Big N said...

lol... had to have the throwback eh?

Slow Metamorphosis said...

LOL that happens to me all the time when I go into some stores. I get stank though and I'm just like... "Why do you think I work here?" and keep it moving.

Slow Metamorphosis said...

LOL that happens to me all the time when I go into some stores. I get stank though and I'm just like... "Why do you think I work here?" and keep it moving.

Jdid said...

@marlo - ha ha ha, poor you
@mad bull - agreed we need to see evidence lol
@abeni - people juss stupid
@nat - yea that was the one i was at on saturday too, it was crazy
@camp - yep oh well thats what happens
@thykness - thanks for the comment. hooter you say, hmmm we shall need photo evidence of this as well
@don - i take many precautions to make sure that i dont get accused of stealing anything, its bad enough that certain security guards follow me around
@obi - lol
@nikki - thats a possibility but i think not
@sunshine - yea that also happens with some of my friends who were raised up here and dont speak the language
@star - you got to tell them you wearing the uniform because you just wanted to blend in and feel like you belonged to a group
@x - the states aint unique sistren
@amadeo - ha haha. colorblind, cant read and ignorant yep some folks have all the luck lol
@dorna - interesting idea
@Dr D - ha ha ha, i'm sorry ikea fired me
@goldi - is that gap or crap
@big N - not really a throwback just a shareef jersey to be honest i dont even remember his time in the ATL
@slow met - lol

SP said...

That's funny. I get the same thing here. When I ask people why they ask me, they said I seemed approachable. So maybe that's why people ask you.

I miss Ikea. They don't have those in South Florida.