Do I look like I work Here?

So Saturday afternoon I had to run a few errands. Was chipping up and down the place all afternoon running from place to place in an attempt to get back home at a decent time. Was really enjoying the heat too. Don't know what the temperature was but when you can feel the heat its a good thing. Think I may have lost a few pounds sweating.

Now one of the errands I had to run involved going to Ikea. So me and the wife got to Ikea, knew what we wanted, knew what aisle to pick it up in and were on a mission to get out of that spot as quickly as possible especially after we saw the large Saturday afternoon crowd that was there. So we went straight to the aisle and headed for the location of the item. Only thing was they had moved around stuff since we were last there a few months back. Wonderful!

So looking around the wife said there was some computer somewhere and the staff could link us up with what we wanted but since the place was jam packed with customers I said to myself naa let me just quickly run upstairs to the display area (which is usually separate from the area where the items are stored), find the item and find where the pieces can be picked up cause that may be quicker than getting help from one of these staff members that were running around the place like headless chickens.

So I left the wife and quick so I was heading through the store on a mission. Only problem was the store was packed and is also in the midst of renovation so it was a bit difficult finding my way through it since some of the regular corridors were out of bounds. Now before I go on I should mention I was wearing a red Atlanta Hawks Jersey (similar to the one shown here) and jeans. Yes this is important to the story, I not just giving you a rundown on my fashion choices fa style. Follow me nuh!

Now after a bit of scrambling through the downstairs maze I found the stairs to get to the next floor. As I'm heading towards the stairs, a lady coming in the opposite direction just started looking at me and I know for some strange reason she thinks I work there. How do I know this, I'm not sure but something in her eyes said this lady thinks you are an employee and will ask you a question. No sooner did that thought cross my mind than she starts talking to me as I'm speeding past, asking me where to find some item or the other. As if I should know! However , she seemed to realize her mistake and just looked at me again and said sorry. Maybe it was the look on my face like I haven't a clue what you talking about lady.

Anyway I made it upstairs quickly found my item and the location of the pieces and hurried my way back downstairs. Made a few wrong turns on the way and on one of those turns a middle aged lady with her family came up to me with that same look on her face like I work at Ikea and said "Can you tell me the quickest route out of here?" I responded "I'm looking for the same thing myself." Now as Paul Keens Douglas would say 'who tell me say that!'

Bwoy ya shudda see how de wuman a look pun me after I uttered those words. A shocked expression came over the woman's face followed by a look like I had just said some of the foulest bad words ever uttered by man to her in front of her family. Nuh lie! The woman look at me like I was just incredibly evil and should be struck down for my innocent response. Cuhdear! Although I don't think my comment was out of place and I said it with rather jokingly rather than saying it harshly or aggressively I think that comment somehow upset her. I figure she probably reported me to the manager before she left like 'and one of your employees was rude to me and wouldn't show me the way out of the building! Yes tall black feisty bald dude, that is de one!'

Oh well I would probably feel a bit bad if she did do cause I might lose my little pick (job) at Ikea. Oh wait a minute I forgot I DONT ACTUALLY WORK at Ikea you moron! Don't believe me? Need proof? Look at their uniform.
Now scroll back up to what I was wearing. Do you see a similarity? They are wearing dress shirts, I'm wearing a basketball jersey with a number in the front. Their shirts are yellow, mine is red. They wear slacks, I'm wearing jeans. They have buttons in the front of their shirts I do not.

Not satisfied, not enough proof for ya. Well lets say I was an employee. What did ya think was the reason I was wearing something different? You think I didn't understand the word uni-form? Oh I get it you know how us black folks like to always be different. You think that I took the regular uniform called in Xzibit and I pimped out my Ikea uniform to turn it into an Atlanta Hawks basketball jersey? Ok then. Chupse! Why a brother in Ikea cant be a customer?

Now I know some of you are saying maybe they were just asking questions. No, no no. I know when folks are just casually asking questions to fellow customers, I got no problem with that, I'll answer if I can but clearly here I could tell that there was some belief that I was an employee.

Still it was kind of funny because for a few minutes I had to look at all the employees to make sure that red was not part of their uniform. Saw some wearing blue vests over the yellow but absolutely no red of any kind anywhere. So what was that all about! Dumb ****, I don't work here leave me the hell alone! lol!