Head gone

Boy ya know ya tired when ya cant remember if you've previously written about something or not. Actually its probably also a sign that I've been writing too much on this here blog thingy. After all its been a good 10 months now that I've been doing this blog and I've been pretty consistent (computer issues aside) in posting. When I started I never thought I would be able to post as much as I had or that I had that much to say or to write. Who knew! I guess I was creating a monster but a much deeper question I ponder is would I have done things differently if I had known I was going to create a monster. Hmmm.

Oh well, anyway next month the blogs might get a bit sparse due to matters beyond my control but I will still try to see if I can get in one or two posts per week and its just a temporary thing August I should be back to regular posting.

Anyhow the reason I'm saying that my head gone is because I've been recently starting blogs and not finishing or thinking of things to write about on the subway and then not remembering when I get home and things like that. Yes its called senility I know.

Like for instance I keep remembering this security protocol thing I wanted to talk about and I keep saying "boy that would mek a good blog" but I don't remember if I've blogged about it yet or not. The long time readers will have to tell me if I'm repeating myself. Oh well if that is so, I feel to repeat the story still.

So like I was saying there used to be this old security protocol at one of my former workplaces that involved what procedures to follow if someone phoned in a bomb threat. The procedures said something like this: If someone phones in a bomb threat in your building, remain calm. Ask the person for his/her name , address and contact information and the location of the bomb, what time the bomb is supposed to go off and the reason for placing the bomb.

Well when I first read that I had to say to myself Jdid boy is a well known fact that you mad (crazy) but dem like dey got people out here in Toronto that madder than you.

Ask the person's name and contact information? Ya mekkin mock sport now! Excuse me but y'all must have mistaken me fi eediat! I aint know bout nobody else but from the time anybody call me on a phone and use the word bomb I taking off like I'm in a Road Runner cartoon. All ya will see is the phone hanging in mid air and my dust hovering over my chair! I'm 'Gone!' like dat N'sync song. Gone! I would be outrunning bullets that is how fast I would take off. Asafa's record wouldn't be safe at all.

I aint waiting to hear who the body is that calling in the threat, where he from, where he put the bomb or what he want. I definitely don't want his contact info cause I don't plan on calling him back and I don't envision a scenario where one of my friends was to ask me something like "wait tell muh sumting, you know anybody dat duz mek a good bomb?" and me pulling this info out of my pocket and saying "well ya kno is a funny thing dat you ask me that cause I got a lil contact right hayso and de man good nuh lie, champion bomb maker dat star!". Nope, no nuttin a gwan so!

From the time a fella could be ignorant enough to be planting bombs that means I don't want anything to do with him so its not like I want his info so I can call and strike up no conversation with him. The less I know about him, the happier I feel, so if he want to give somebody his info under no circumstances should it be me. In fact I don't know why he would want to give out his info like he looking for friends because if he was actually looking for friends he really going about it the wrong way with this whole bomb thing. I never read the book on how to win friends and influence people but I'm pretty damn sure than calling a fella to saying you set a bomb in his building aint listed in there.

I can just see the conversation though
Me: "Good afternoon, how may I help you Sir?"
Bomber: " Boss man, listen up, I only tellin ya this once, ya hear! I just planted a bomb in your building, at exactly 3:30pm this weapon will..."
Me: "One moment sir, well that's just great but before you proceed can you give me your name and telephone number so I can confirm your location?"
Bomber: " Confirm my wha?"
Me: " Just your name and telephone number sir, I assure you its standard company procedure."
Bomber: " Wait you is madman or what, I tell you I plant a big bomb in you building an you want to know my name? Looka I in two minds right now to just hurry up an let go this thing now. "
Me: No sir, that's absolutely not necessary. This can all be simply resolved if you just give me your contact info, I assure you the information will be treated with the utmost confidence"

Next thing I hear a big BOOM! and Jdid blown to a million pieces.

So see me, if anyone had called in with a bomb threat, I might stop a few minutes to holla out "bomb bomb, run fa ya life" but I wouldn't be asking no questions I would be too busy leading the running and screaming from the building.