Vinsanity

I needed to get my thoughts down on paper for this one.

In a few hours the Toronto Raptors play the New Jersey Nets in the first round of the NBA playoffs. First playoff run for the Raptors since 2002 I believe, and joy of joy we have home court advantage this round.

Should be an interesting match up as the Raptors can claim the better all around team but new Jersey can claim a heap more playoff experience. I've been thought that playoff experience counts for quite a bit in this game so although I'm a Raptors fan I'm a bit pessimistic about their chances of getting out of the first round.

Would have been more optimistic if they had ended up playing Washington. Even before Agent Zero and Caron Butler went down I fancied our chances against those guys but alas it wasn't meant to be as the Wizards (always resisting the urge to call them the Bullets) slipped down the stretch to drop from third spot all the way to 7th.

That meant as third seed we got New Jersey. Its being hyped up as the match up of Vince Carter vs Toronto. Now lets be honest I'm not a big Vince Carter fan. I respect the skill when he's actually focused but in the pantheon of NBA stars who have pissed off Toronto and Raptors fans Vince reigns supreme. And by the way in case you're wondering who else is part of that group it includes Tracy Mcgrady, Damon Stoudamire, Alonzo Mourning, Antonio Davis and Kenny Anderson, and in case you forgot Kenny Anderson refused to report here from Portland after being traded for Damon somewhere back in 97 or 98.

However I think way too much is being made of Vince's return to play us here where it all started for him as 'Air Canada'.

The cover of one of our local newspapers yesterday actually featured him portrayed as a big baby.

Why I ask why must we continue to give this cat fuel to actually show up for a game? Why must we continue to hype this Vince vs Toronto feud? Yea Vince let us down when he phoned in his performances during his last years here as he attempted to orchestrate his own trade and yes Vince has always been seen around these parts as a whiny superstar, lacking in heart and unable to embrace his leadership role with the Raptors club but stop giving the man fuel to come back and prove something to us.

Yes I know its hard to forget and forgive but I'm not asking that. I'm just saying, the booing at the ACC and the media articles are just not needed now. Just keep your disdain on the low. He knows you don't like him just ignore him and see how he plays. Hyping him up for this match up can only prove detrimental to our cause as the cat can heat up and drop 40 on us in an effort to silence the criticisms.

Oh well! With regards to the actual match up as it stands I think ignoring playoff experience we stack up pretty well against the Nets. We definitely have the deeper bench and our front court is stronger but I cant count out the influence the trio of Carter, Kidd and Jefferson will have on the game. The key is going to be to contain those guys.

Also should be noted that Jersey played some of its better games down the stretch while the Raptors kind of faded as they tried to adjust to quite a few injuries. That being said guys like Kris Humphries and Joey Graham really stepped up their game in the absence of Jorge Garbajosa and Andrea Bargnani.

It should also be interesting to see what coach Sam Mitchell has up his sleeve. Adjustments become quite important after game 1 and I'm still wondering what Sam can pull out to keep the guys in a position to win this series.

Game one will be important. My keys to winning this series are

• Adjusting to playoff basketball
  
• Containing the New Jersey trio
• Rebounding
• Coaching adjustments
• The return of Bargnani
• The play of Kris Humphries

Not going to stick my neck out on a Raptors win but I'll be in front of my tv supporting them. That means no interruptions hint hint. Go Raptors!

On another note, oh happy day, the dark lord Sauron is dead! A new but not necessarily immediately better day is dawning.

Home grown Terror

"You had a hundred billion chances and a way to have avoided today,"
Mass Murderer Cho Sueng-Hui

I want to blog about some other stuff but this Virginia Tech thing is still on my mind. I'm not looking for answers and I haven't actually watched the extended coverage on TV which I think is overkill to an extent but still as the details come to light I've just got to speak some more on this issue.

For one to my U.S friends just accept it the man is American. Stop harping on him being South Korean. He came to the U.S as a kid. If someone comes to the U.S as a kid and does great things like develop a cure for some disease or wins an Olympic medal his heritage and birth country are brushed over and he is called American. So to me if someone comes to the US and does something horrible I think the same should hold too. Leave out the double standard. Accept him as an American, even though he wasn't a citizen. He had been in the country 15 years, he spent his formative years there, did his schooling there. He's one of yours.

Stop giving him the Ben Johnson treatment. Oh not sure what that is? That's when you go from one day being feted as a Canadian Olympic medal winner to the next day being tarred and feathered as a Jamaican drug cheat.

Another detail that stuck out to me as details come to hand was that Cho mailed his raving manifesto to NBC between killings. All I can say is dammmmmn! Admit it if this wasn't so real and horrific and was like some Bruce Willis or Arnold movie we'd all be talking about this like it was cool. I mean how cold do you have to be to stop a bloody rampage and go to the post office, line up and send a package? That is just dread! And I mean that word dread however you wish to interpret it.

Oh and will someone step up and blame something other than our usual scapegoat hip hop music here (thank God they haven't mentioned it yet) cause I mean come on take a look at the photos he sent in the manifesto. You know that kid had to be influenced by popular entertainment. The man pose off with his guns like he was a movie star. Of course knowing hip hop's present luck we'll ignore violent movies and video games and someone will find a copy of Biggie's Ready to Die in his crib or 50 Cents DVD Get Rich or Die Trying (an absolutely dreadful movie by the way). Yea I'm just waiting.

You know its going to happen.

The other thing that caught my attention as the details were released was this interview with the owner of the gun shop where Cho bought his guns. The gun stop owner claims that this atrocity occurred not because gun controls are too loose as most have asserted but in fact due to the opposite. He thinks if gun controls were looser then this wouldn't have occurred. He said they need to allow students and staff members to bring their guns on campus at Virginia Tech.

Now off the bat I said to myself wha kinda eediat ting that? This man head musse bad! Oh you want looser gun controls than the ones that allowed a mentally disturbed kid to buy two guns and kill 32 people? You want guns in classrooms so that students can shoot teachers over grades? Way to go ya pieca poppit! Yea that was my initial thought.

But then this morning my wife agreed with my stance and since that rarely happens in my household I went back and thought some more about the gun owners statements. The man is simply taking a classic Cold War stance. If we have weapons and they have weapons they wont attack because they know we can strike back and do damage. Interesting philosophy isn't it. The US and Russia used it for years, Pakistan and India are still using it. It works sort of. You just live with a heightened sense of fear.

Mind you that philosophy assumes that we're dealing with sane, logical persons not persons who have flipped and gone stark raving mad like Cho. So umm no that theory wont stop these types of incidents. It only works if the aggressive party is afraid to die and since Cho and others like him are quite ready to take their own lives its not a deterrent

Of course I really find the American fascination with guns quite unique and also rather interesting and troubling at the same time. The right to bear arms (and I'm not talking about wearing short sleeve shirts) is tantamount to sacred in the U.S. I mean, and this isn't an original thought here, Americans are willing to accept losses of civil liberties supposedly to combat terrorism and they do this with little furor but let anyone talk about taking away someone's guns and lines get drawn for a Civil war. I'm of the opinion that the American government would have greater success passing a law asking U.S men to each give up one testicle than passing a law strengthening gun control.

Random & Senseless

Dont push me cause I'm close to the edge
I'm trying not to lose my head
The message - Grand Master Flash


My condolences to the folk at Virginia Tech.

The thing is Universities and schools are always the types of low security spots where these types of persons can act out. Universities usually attempt to make themselves part of a community and make themselves highly accessibly to the wider public. These traits are taken advantage of. Whats the solution? Higher Education behind steel gates and barbed wire?

And everyone waits to hear the who's and whys. Eyewitnesses and Experts will weigh in with their thoughts daily. What went wrong, who's to blame. Why'd he choose those folks to act out against? What was his beef? Was he bullied, or crushed or lovesick?

Thing is none of that really matters to the victims' families. It wont bring back not a single one of them.

And yes watching and listening to all this debate probably makes us feel safer thinking we can maybe predict this behaviour in the future, profile possible candidates for mass outrage and yes those that don't learn from their history are doomed to repeat it but .......

When all is said and done what do we learn from these acts. They are random and senseless. How do you profile and protect against random and senseless?

Maybe we will have this profile that these acts are carried out by loners, pissed at life, people who have been shunned or bullied or rejected because they are different or depressed. But does that actually change anything anywhere? Random and Senseless. No two cases are exactly alike because no two individuals are exactly alike. Lots of us are upset and depressed and bullied and felling rejected and haven't resorted with such actions. How do you judge who's going to be the one amongst millions who finally snaps. Everyone handles stress differently. Everyone can bear a different amount of stress before snapping. How do you judge what will push them over the edge.

Human nature wont allow us to sit back and do nothing. You cant just say oh stuff happens and to do so would in fact be irresponsible but lets just realize that the answers we get from the investigations and such here really don't change a whole lot when you think about it.

Like I said they don't bring back anyone. Sad but true. To the deceased all we really can say is rest in peace and hope that their loved ones can be comforted in this time of tragedy.

What rhymes with Imus?

Ok I'm late with my thoughts plus I'm not sure if I can be coherent on this Don Imus thing so here I go in point form.

- I'm waiting for the first hip hop freestyle where the rapper references Don Imus. I had a few ideas myself but I'll hold off.

- Regardless of all the outrage and protests and CNN interviews done by the black 'leaders' and those who speak for Black America one must realize that the market was the deciding factor in Imus's firing. Advertisers decided they were pulling out so Imus got fired. Its that simple! Our so called 'leaders' could have thumped and harangued till the cows came home and ain't a damn thing would have changed without the market making a move. Just realize that.

- Has this issue been overblown? Has Imus been given more status than he deserves? Some say yes some say no. I say he was a public figure and should have known better. Also I think his excuses for using that language are pretty lame. Don't expect me to believe you didn't realize it was offensive. You're not a johnny come lately or an unintelligent man. Maybe you made a mistake but don't blame it on someone else's speech. Also if I was a black woman I would be royally pissed about this.

- Hip hop the ever present scapegoat can I defend it (sigh)? Yes and no. I think the language and topics in hip hop need to be addressed. The music has lost its way. The music is non-sense nowadays. On the other hand is it a case of popular culture reflecting life or life reflecting popular culture? Who was using this type of language first and if hip hop stops using it will it stop on the streets? Not likely I say but at the same time I think one must realize the symbiosis between the streets and hip hop. And no hip hip isn't jail culture as one commentator on CNN said. Hip hop influences the streets and the streets influence hip hop. We can argue sometimes rightfully and quite successfully that hip hop is getting a bad rep and that it isn't to blame here or for all of the black community's ills as some commentators would like us to believe but at the same time it is an influential medium and needs to take responsibility. Its complicated in this case the more hip hop has embraced this language the more it makes it cool and hip. Rappers need to understand that and yes sadly they are role models and kids look up to them.

- Still regarding the last point while I realize hip hop's influence and responsibility I believe there are more factors to be blamed here so why is hip hop always the official scapegoat? Shut down hip hop and this stuff will still happen.

- I am kind of tired of white folks when they make mistakes regarding race trying to fall behind the shield of but some of my best friends are black or look at what I've done for the black community. That ish is tired and played! Man up to your mistakes.

- Found the Michael Ray Richardson incident to be a bit like this Imus thing except he was fired almost immediately after the incident came to light. Still I don't know I'm a bit biased here but calling someone crafty ain't exactly the same thing as calling them a ho. That's just my opinion. I guess he didn't have the hip hop scapegoat to blame for his indiscretion unless he claimed he got it from a Beastie Boys record.

- Do we take race and insults amongst our own too lightly in the black community? Possibly. Is it a double standard? Some say yes. But is the black community the only ones with a double standard? Nope! So what does that teach us? Just because a member of your race can get away with saying it doesn't mean that someone from another race can do the same or "Whats good for goose ain't necessarily good for the gander" and this holds for black folks talking about other races as well.

- Should Imus' comments have been taken with a grain of salt, was he just going for laughs like a Comic View comedian? Again context and the person making the comment are very important. Imus should never have gone there.

- What happens next? Imus has been fired, he's apologized, CNN has had their story of the week. Where do we go from here? Will something change. Will we realize its bigger than Hip Hop! Or will everything remain the status quo until the next Michael Richards or Imus pops off with something silly?

Trying to stick me for my paper

Episode 1 - Last week after a light lunch at work I was feeling hungry again around 330 so I decided to visit the coffee and bagel place across the street for a snack.

As I walk in, doing a quick perusal of their available fare I heard a small voice arise from my side. 'Spare some change?' Quickly sized up the guy, possibly homeless or not, who asked the question. I usually only give change to a distinct few cause most of these cats are con men and in a few hours can make more than you or me. Anyway maybe it was because I was hungry or I just need to do a good deed for the day or something but I dipped into my pocket and came up with about 75 cents which I gave to the guy.

(Rule #1 for me of giving change is never ever bring out the wallet and search so they see your bills. Have loose change in your pocket and just grab whatever comes to hand. If you have no loose change in your pocket well too bad they ain't getting nothing.)

Anyway I give the guy the 75 cents and he then looks at me and asks me if I can give him five dollars.

Five who? You mekkin sport!! Since when is five dollars change? Five dollars is lunch money, five dollars is a burger king special plus change, five dollars is at least 3 coco bread and pattys, pizza and a drink, five dollars is way more than I intended to spend on my bagel and cream cheese. Why should I give you 5 dollars when I only plan on spending $2.25? If you wanted $5 in the first place you should have asked for it don't ask me for change and then ask for $5 dollars. And what happened to asking someone else for a dollar and another person for 50 cents till you got your five dollars. Do I have mark or sucka or poppit or eediat written on forehead? Chupse!

Looka gimme back my 75 cents if you cant appreciate it!

Episode (2) Again sometime last week. Got home around 7, puttered around trying to figure out my dinner options when the door bell rings. Lawd ave mercy! Unwarranted door bell ringing in my neighbourhood in the evening usually means some guy from the Energy company or Rogers home phone is coming to try and solicit me to sign up for some package I don't want. I'll try to be polite and send him away but then the eediat will insist that I show him my light bill or heating bill or something with my private info that I don't want to share and get upset when I say no. These people are slowly trying to turn me into the stereotypical belligerent, angry black man with their stupidity. Lawd help muh nuh!

Anyway alas it wasn't a corporate rep about to piss me off. Instead it was a nice decent looking young lady high school age I'm guessing. OK I guess they raising funds for some school. What's she selling now Candy covered Almonds, Girl Scout Cookies? Lemma see if I can spare 5 or 6 dollars to help a cause and no $5 still ain't change.

Oh wait nope it isn't the usual fare, this young lady is selling energy efficient light bulbs and all sorts of home supply packages. OK novel idea.

Alright so how much them cost? $29.95!

29 who? I'm sorry you cant just come to my door and expect me to have $29.95 ready to give you unless you delivering food that I order. What happened to $2 sponsored walks or climbing the CN tower for $5 or something cheap. Since when is $29.95 the cheapest option for helping out a school cause?

Raptors win Raptors win

Raptors win!

Who would have thought that after a 2-8 start to the season the Toronto Raptors would win the NBA's Atlantic division? Way to go Raptors! Congratulations! Big up! Respect!

What can I say! I doubted that the Raptors would be any good this season. Yea they made moves in the off-season but I thought way too many moves. I mean how does a team with 9 new players, including a bunch who had never played NBA ball, coming in win? Guys have to become comfortable with their roles, they have to learn to trust each other, they have to bond as a team so I figured any improvement this year would just be a step towards actually competing next year.

I thought yea that Bargnani draft pick is a definite bust and why trade Charlie Villenueva for TJ Ford. Well what do you know Coangelo's moves seemed to have worked well for us this year. Actually only bad move he has made so far seems to be picking up Fred Jones in the off-season and he managed to trade him away for Juan Dixon who has fit in quite nicely with the team in the second half.

So yea we did compete this year. Who would have thought?

Ok well yea the Atlantic division is bar none the worse division in professional basketball and there were a couple of nights where we actually led the division while still having a record that was under .500. But still look at us now 44 wins and 33 loses (including tonight's victory over the Bulls), 10 games over 500, a guaranteed playoff spot and right now the fourth best record in the Leastern ummm Eastern conference.

Pretty nice turn around for a team that only won 27 games last season.

Still I cant say I'm an ultra fan like Chuck and Leo who bring the play by play or like a few of my friends are. I like the team, even though I'll admit that they've screwed up my love of the NBA since I seem to watch very few non-Raptor games these days.

I wont pretend like I think they have more than a passing shot of making it past round one of the playoffs either unless they somehow end up playing a hobbling Washington Wizards team cause I just see too many deficiencies despite their record and improvement this year. I still say they are still too green for the playoffs and their lack of a consistent inside game and rebounding will hurt when the rough and tumble playoffs start. But who knows, I've been wrong before maybe they'll surprise me again.

All I can say now though is they've done the city proud even if when they won the division they were still only the second biggest sports story here, the biggest being the Maple Leafs having to play the Habs to keep their NHL playoff hopes alive. Got to love this city its definitely a hockey town. But hockey town or not got to give props to the Raps. Good looking out guys. Bosh, Ford,Parker, Graham and the boys thanks for making us proud of Toronto basketball once more.

All about the Ben(jamins)

Caught this link from over at the War on Folly and was inspired.

Raheem sees his homie Conroy on the street.

R: Yo son whats up?

C: Everyting cris my yout! A wha gwan?

You heard the latest?

Latest? Wha latest?

Well streets is talking son. They say that apparently Uncle Ben is getting a makeover to become Chairman Ben.

Uncle Ben? Uncle Ben? Oh ya mean dat cantankerous ol man dat de yout one Peter Parker live by?

No son! Not Peter Parker's Uncle Ben. That cat caught a bad one back in Spider Man one. Straight car jacked son, wasnt wearing a vest and pow pow two shots to his chest and it was over. Where you been man? It was all over the streets.

Blouse n Skirt!

Naa son Uncle Ben from around the way. You know bow tie rocking cat been down with Rice since like day one.

Oh! Cha man! That Uncle Ben dat same one? Star a why ya neva say Bow tie Uncle Ben nuh man? Is Ben Slim we call 'im down de block cause de man always wid dat slim grained par-boiled business. Yea star me kno who ya mean! Chairman? Chairman? Well look how man get big! Cha! Nuff respect to de man den seen! Yes I!

(Chairman Ben comes around the corner on his Blackberry. Gives the brothers a pound)

What up Ben. (head nods and exchange of pounds)

Respect star!

Look at you all rice kingpin, cereal mogul and all that good stuff. Still representing the Nation (of Islam) by rocking the Farakkhan bowtie though! The suits Armani now right? True true. Yea son show em how we do! You done came up!

Yes Ben star you run tings tings no run you! A business man a run nuh inna but nor because (everyone joins in singing) my girl wan wear victoria secret drawers!

Driva! lawd ave mercy. ha ha ha

But on the real Ben, way to show the little man that with a little perseverance and just 60 long hard years of doing whatever it is you did; butlering, chauffering, shoe shining, cooking whatever it was that you did that we too can move up to the top rung of the ladder.

Is how ya mean? Like George n Weezy?

Yea son see thats what I'm talking about dog! Like George and Weezy. Moving on up to a deeee-lux apartment in the sky son! Word! (brothers slap five, Ben's still on his blackberry)

Yea. knawhatimean thats whats wrong with today's youth. Dont want to start at the bottom like ol Ben here did. Claim it takes too long to move up. Well he sure showed em all. Dem 60 years of hard work paid off. Yea son!

Wha ya a say Ben? Ya 'ave Diddy and Russell on speed dial? Bumbacl.....

You the man now Ben. Oh whats that? No more Ben? Its Benjamin now? Dammmmm! Yea well its about time Benjamin. Look at you living up to that potential an ish. Yea son its all about the Benjamins now fa sure!

(Leaning over Ben's crackberry) Star a dat de latest phone dey ya ave? Blackberry? Bloodfire! (leaning in closer) But wait cha man, yo see say the man 'ave text message from de one Halle Berry. (snapping fingers in the air) All de hot gal dem a rush di man! Yes star you a de dan! Respect to de maximum!

Yea man! You like my inspiration dog! Word to mutha! Dreams do come through! See this man here, right here (pointing to the still silent Benjamin). He's like the kingpin of the whole rice industry.

Ya naa touch im! 'im a de Pablo Escobar of de grain world my yout!

But ya kno Mr Chairman sar, everytime mi see you, you a remind mi of my great uncle dat dead a few year back. Mi cann remember him name. But 'im face did favor you and dat man cud cook some serious rice n peas ya kno. Serious chef work 'im a do. delicious, tasty itals de man a cook up, rest in peace.

Yea ok but um yea ummm.

What? You put in 20 Mil alone on the website and advertising? Yo fa real? Get outta here! Naa fa real? 20 Mil? Word! Yo son I checked that site. Yo that site is off the hizzy. That was some money well spent. No doubt!

A 20 million dollars ya say? American currency? Is joke ya a mek right?

Yea son 20 million American currency! greenbacks, dead presidents son, Jacksons and Grants and Washingtons and all that other good stuff! Kwahmean??

Bloodfyah!

Yea son there's alot of cheddar in that there Rice game.

Cheese and Rice? Cheese n Rice? Yo star that doan soun too nice to eat ya kno. I man nuh want nun a dat.

No man! I mean cheddar son, the dinero, the duckets. Cash rules everything around me, the cream, the cheddar.

Oh seen! The money dat ya a talk bout. yes I. But so see me a say Mr Chairman Benjamin. Ya ave any place in a de company fi a hardworking enterprising yout man like de I cause I man a tired a di hustling an bustling on de street dem. Mi a enterprising yout an just want a likkle piece a legit work where I man can progress and advance and move up the corporate ladder. seen!

Yo fa real! You got space for me too cause I wants to be down with that legal rice money. I mean fa real like you my inspiration, my muse, my man, my dog. I respects your hustle.

A car pulls up. Chairman Ben starts to walks away.

Yo chek out the wicked car star! Chairman yes is you definetly a run things. A wha dat? 350? 550? Bway even dem rapper dem like Jay-Z nuh ave no criss car like that.

Yo but I'm saying Chairman Benjamin. I'm sayin, yo hook a brother up. Its hard out here on the streets. Come on man. I need me some of that rice money.

Yes chairman. Doan faget de small man seen! I ave de recipies man, nuff recipie dem from long time gwan dat my ol granny a gi mi. Rice n peas, peas n rice, pelau, plain rice, splt peas rice, black eye pea rice, green pea rice. Is nuttin but pure rice knowledge I man a bring ta de table ya kno! I can even give you a copy of my resume on rice paper!

At least give a brother a business card or something so we can stay in touch cause you my role model man. My inspiration fa real! 60 years in the game and running things. Word!

Chairman Benjamin gives them a business card, gets in his car and leaves.

Stay up on your grind homie! Fight the power!

Run tings rude bway!

Yo that Ben cat is iight! I'm saying dog he's like my inspiration, my muse, my...

Yea man, me 'ear all dat chat aready, de man gone ya kno an we already ave 'im business card. cha! chupse!

But I'm saying dog, that cat right there ........


(Seriously though you've got to check the Uncle Bens site its like a virtual tour of his office and whoever designed it seriously needs a medal or something cause they put in some work.)

rasta & dope

(Since we were talking about rastas last post.)

Ya don't 'ave fi dread to be rasta
Morgan Heritage

I cant say with absolute certainty but I truly believe that Morgan Heritage stole that line from my parents.

My parents are old time West Indian folk who have an inbred distrust of those with locs or those who claim they are rasta. In their eyes anyone with dreads or their hair even slightly loc'ed is a rasta. And by rasta they mean someone devious, head intoxicated from illegal drugs and up to no good. Actually anyone who deviates from the norm could be a rasta in their sight.

Head in locks you are definitely shady. Must be some criminal element in your background probably a by product of all the dope we know you smoke. Oh you don't smoke dope? If not then why ya notting up ya good hair for? You don't know that combs still stirring and barbers and hairdressers still looking for business?

No you must be doing something wrong to have your hair in such a predicament.

And less I make it seem as if there was no basis for their judgement I'll just say that their beliefs were forged by some of the crazy good for nothing so called rastas and others with locs who they have come into contact with in the past. Seems like many of the the lawless criminal elements used to knot up their hair, smoke weed and claim Jah.

But their description of rasta now extends past anyone with dreads. Consider the following conversation I had at home this Christmas.

Mom: Yes he get vex wid dem ever since Judy marry and he din get invite.
Me: Oh who she marry, the same fella she had from evasince?
Mom: yes the said same rasta fella.
Me: rasta fella? I din know he was a rasta?
Mom: Well he don't wear any locs but he is a rasta. He duz smoke dope.

So anyone who smokes weed or any other illegal drug from crack to heroine which my parents all categorize as 'dope' is automatically a rasta in my parents books regardless of dreads or not.

I can just imagine the conversations they must have had after Hillary Beckles' son killed that boy down at Mona over weed.

"Chupse! See all a dem turn to this rasta foolishness and let the dope lead dem astray. Look at he doah! Good boy come from decent family and now look how he embarrass he mudda an fadda. Is the foolish dope and rasta igrance dat dem gettin in dem head. De dope ain't nuh good fa dum at all!"

And God forbid you are a vegetarian. What not eat meat?

Mom: Yes and she like she is a pieca rasta now play she dont eat meat
Me: Oh you mean she is a vegetarian?
Mom: Yes she is a pieca vegetarian rasta. She musse duz smoke de dope too.

Sigh!

Bonified!

So the new Miss Jamaica Universe is a bonified Rastafarian! (sorry couldn't find a decent link to the story)

Hey I ain't no rasta and wont pretend to be an expert but ummm are rastas allowed to parade on stage in swimwear? I'm just asking a question don't crucify me now.

No I'm not trying to keep a good woman down or saying that the Empress dem not smart or beautiful enough to win competition. Its just I just never thought of the Empress dem as beauty show contestants showing off their bodies like that, that's all. Rasta women always come off as the earthy type not the flamboyant beauty show type. I'm just kind of curious to the authentic rasta credentials of this yout. Yes she has dreads but same way ya doan have fe dread to be rasta isn't the opposite true?

Anyway like I say I just asking questions of the Idren dem.

Plus at least she ain't like Miss Jamaica World an get pregnant and have to give up the crown. Actually I kind of like that article I link above to the pregnant Miss Jamaica. The way they make it seem as if the girl do so wrong by getting pregnant. Is like they think beauty queen supposed to be a nun. Ya don't see nun in beauty pageant and ya don't see beauty queen in evening gown at convent. Yet dem play dem talking about "Unfortunately, Miss Lawrence has made an error of judgement and is now facing up to the consequences" and "her actions could potentially harm the tradition that is the Miss Jamaica World pageant and past and future winners. I know that she intends to do all within her powers to mitigate this potential harm"

It ain't like the girl is a terrorist or a murderer she just get pregnant. She ain't the first pretty girl nor the last one to do that. Next they will be telling me all beauty queens are pure and unspoilt. Chupse!

Supergalafragilistic

There is this old lady who takes the same bus as me sometimes in the morning. She's old and she has some type of disability and she gets on near the end of the route, close to the station.

She always gets one of the seats up front, at least from what I've seen when I've been on the bus, because well I guess folks on my route are actually courteous about the whole courtesy seating business.

The thing is as I've sat near the back and watched, on every occasion when this lady gets on the bus she gets on with some sort of grouse. Its not like folk remain seated and refuse her a seat but as soon as she gets on she starts carrying on, sometimes with profanities about why she deserves a seat and why younger people shouldn't be sitting in the front of the bus. From my vantage point I find the whole thing rather annoying actually and its not even directed at me.

I could see if big hardback, can stand up, people were depriving her of a seat but she is so well known on this route now that all people have to do is see her at the bus stop and they'll start moving from her preferred seating. Yet she continues to make a nuisance of herself when she gets on the bus tongue lashing those who actually got up to make way for her all the way to the station.

Yes I'm sure she's contributed to the city and she's old and we need to be nice to her but shut the bleep up would ya. We know you need a seat, drawing additional attention to yourself and making folk in the front feel uncomfortable helps no one.

I hadn't seen her for quite a while until this morning and there she was back at it again.

To be continued.

Who's your daddy?

What is this gal want gi me jacket!

Boy I not even sure how to deal with this article. I never see nuttin so yet!

Anyway for those who wont check the link apparently a couple, he's white, she's Hispanic who recently gave birth to a daughter is suing the fertility clinic they used because the baby's skin is too dark. Apparently it seems the clinic messed up on the insemination and used sperm from someone of another ethnicity and race. In other words it sound like somebody screw up and they end up with a black chile!

But I want to know why dem complaining? They ain't see black children is all the rage now? They ain't notice that Madonna and Angelina Jolie going all the way to far off places like Africa just to have the privilege of adopting black children? They shouldn't be complaining they should be celebrating! "Hallelujah, praise de lord, boy we hit the jackpot! We get a black chile and we didn't have to go all the way to Africa for her."

In all seriousness though I understand their complaint cause they went in thinking they were going to get a child that was biologically a combination of both partners but ended up with one that was not. That's got to be a bit disturbing especially for daddy.

But still what does this suit really prove and I really don't dig the statement that said "the Andrewses complain that they have been forced to raise a child who is "not even the same race, nationality, color ... as they are." How ya mean forced to raise the child? Why at least I would figure the mother couldn't be so stupid to be involved in this stupid talk cause she ain't carry the child in her stomach for 9 months? It ain't fully her child regardless of color? The child nationality, color and race ain't partially hers? She acting like them inject a alien life form in she or something. Chupse!

And then there was this gem from the parents "While we love Baby Jessica as our own, we are reminded of this terrible mistake each and every time we look at her; it is simply impossible to ignore,'' Wha cudear they nuff to give the chile an inferiority complex.

Look I know wunnah trying to get lil money from the clinic but use some nicer wording in the legal documents nuh man.

And how the hell do you explain this to the child when she's older? Yea ummm we were forced to take care of you. You were a little black unwanted child and we sued the clinic cause you actually were a mistake. We were aiming for a nice little blond or brunette and ended up with you a lil nappy headed negro child.

Yea is only me seeing years of therapy in that child's future?

Personally I feel the mother get it on with a brother and now pretending that the chile is the husband's. Wouldn't be the first or last time something so happen. But she could have told the man that the chile strike back to some old, old grand or great grand parent that was mixed with black or something instead a blaming the fertility clinic.

And as for the father he getting on like he is the first man that get a chile that ain't look like him? He never hear bout mommy's baby father's maybe. Wha my chile doan look me an I can't sue nuhbody. Chupse! :-)

Anyway all I can say is poor chile.

p:s new Cricket World Cup blog for those interested. Glorious Uncertainties. Check it out.

Spring again

just like that Biz Markie song. Or at least it will be by tomorrow.

Yep Spring again. Time for all the crazies to emerge from their winter slumber. I always find that one of the funnier things about spring in Toronto. Its always like every crazy person was in hibernation and then suddenly they all wake up and come out. Oh well.

Hopefully it will at least feel like spring as well. So far for the past couple of weeks we've been having our ups and downs in temperatures, mostly downs. Tomorrow, the first day of spring it is/was supposed to be 14 degrees Celsius. So why is it that today was -8? Is temperature changes like that that have everybody on the streets sniffling and coughing.

Actually one thing I've noticed about Toronto weather especially of late is that the transitions between seasons are not at all very gradual. everything just occurs suddenly. One day its -8 the next its +14 the next its +25 in spring and in the fall one day its +10 the next day its -6. no wonder all sorts of flu and cold and bugs duz be stirring around this place.

Oh well!

Anyway today Cranky post about how she attracting nuff attention from the opposite sex (she has the kavorka so they say) and someone said maybe its because of spring. Well I am here to confess that I too have been attracting some attention. Yes is true! Don't look so shocked. I still may have it going on. Not sure what it is but it might be going on.

Anyhow I was walking to the subway this evening and there were these two shapely sistas in front of me on my way up the street. One of them looked back and saw me and then with a twinkle in her eye said something to the other one who promptly looked back at me and smiled. Ok so I don't know if she had a twinkle in her eye or not but I telling ya she say something to the other one and then the other one look back and smile at me. Yeaaah baby!

Woo hoo, I still have it, whatever it is, lol.

Its just a game

Or is it?

I kind of wondered about that today after reading that Pakistan's cricket coach Bob Woolmer died in Jamaica this morning. One can only speculate as to what really happened until official statements are made but you've got to wonder.

Pakistan one of the supposed stronger teams in world cricket go down on St. Patrick's day (Saturday) to the Irish in a shocker. Knocked out of the Super 8's barely a couple of days into the Cricket World Cup tournament. Oh man! Who, even if you were Irish, would have imagined that outcome?

The first thing that popped into my head yesterday whilst following the games online as Pakistan lost to Ireland and India another powerhouse team lost to lowly Bangladesh was wow cricket truly is a game of glorious uncertainties as its often billed. The second thing that popped into my head was I really feel sorry for those Pakistani and Indian players and coaches. I mean us folks in/from the Caribbean take our cricket seriously but no way near as fanatical as those from the sub-continent. I think the only thing that can compare to their zeal for cricket is the South American passion for futbol.

Yep, I was thinking, those players may be in some trouble at home. Heads will roll and knowing of some of the previous reactions by fans when those teams have lost games well I figured I wouldn't want to be any of those players or their families right about now. Indeed reading the news today where one player's home was attacked in India and there were protests in Pakistan calling for the arrest or death of the coach and captain I just wasn't really that surprised by the reactions. Yea those reactions are a bit over the top but similar have happened before.

Still I thought yea its all just a game isn't it? Its just some stupid fans really don't get that point and realize that its really not about life and death.

But in this case with coach Bob Woolmer it looks like it was about life and death. His death. I mean I can't say definitively that it was the stress of losing and seeing his team knocked out of the competition, or the thoughts of facing the music back in Pakistan that killed him but on first glance that would seem to be the case. One day he's a loses a game, the next he loses his life. Life... and death sure are funny ain't they. Puts a lot of stuff in perspective. When you lose a game you always have a chance to bounce back somehow although it may take some time. However when you lose you life? Well ain't no real bouncing back from that one I suppose.

Its all fun and games until someone gets hurt they say. Well someone did get hurt, hurt so much they died so have the fun and games stopped?

Woolmer was a coach so sports was his job and maybe we can chalk this up to job stress. Wouldn't be the first chap to die from that nor will he be the last. Still for all the money and prestige and endorsements and pride involved we still just think of sports as just sports. Its supposed to be intense but not that intense that you die. Its still supposed to be about fun. You give your all on the field and in your preparation to be on the field but its still just a game isn't it? We don't think too much about the folks who take it that much to heart. The folks who lose sleep and weight, and whose blood pressure rises or whose health suffers from sports do we.

I still say its all a game but damn if a game, its results and its repercussions don't put life in perspective.

March Madness

What can I say this March is a great month for sports.

Not that March isn't usually a great month for sports but this March is made even better by the Cricket World Cup. Look! West Indies won yesterday over Pakistan so forgive me for being slightly happy for a moment. Tomorrow I can get back to cussing the islands for wasting money on this event and robbing patrons with outrageous prices at the concession stands but today........

Well today I'm trying to follow Australia vs Scotland and Kenya vs Canada. Yea not the stuff of sporting legends but every game counts towards the big picture. Thank God for the Internet which makes it possible for me to get ball by ball scores and even radio coverage and sometimes video feeds of the matches. I still remember back in the days, before the Internet, having to call home or use that Toronto Star phone service (Can't remember the name. Was it Star Phone?) which gave you match updates all at its own pace just to find out how my team was doing.

Anyway besides cricket the other great thing about every March is the NCAA March Madness tournament. To paraphrase Dick Vitale or in the immortal words of Austin Powers. Yeaaaaa baby!

You don't understand my love of March Madness do you? How often to you get to watch 32 basketball games in two days or any sporting event where in every game played each team is literally playing for their tournament life? Its win or get the bleep outta Dodge. Yea the NBA is cool especially a nice game 7 of a playoff series but March Madness that starts off with like 32 game 7's in 2 days. Now that's fantastic!

I usually take the first two days of March madness off. Why? Well its just an exceptional time of year and a great time to veg out. You don't understand my fanaticism do you? Why I'm still trying to plan how I'm going to get a decent lunch tomorrow and not miss any games from my couch.

I mean March Madness just sucks me in. This is the time of the year where I just tell people I'm ignoring them; family, friends, children it don't matter. Don't mess with my March Madness focus.

From the time the brackets are announced I'm on it. Scouring the Internet for info, entering as many free pools as I can find (the days of putting money on this thing are long gone with my College days), chatting with anyone who may have actually watched more of the season unfold than the annual Duke, UNC game and thereby is ahead of me in terms of actual knowledge of what to except from the selected teams.

Trying to answer questions like whats the record of the top ranked teams? Who are the Cinderella teams? How many number 5s will be beaten by number 12s this year? Should I choose Number 9s over Number 8s? Which lower seeded player has the most NBA ready player? Where are those cursed Duke blue bas...... ummmm I mean devils ranked? Who or where exactly are Gongaza, Creighton, Holy Cross, Xavier, Old Dominion and George Washington?

And yes it is imperative that I watch as much of the games as possible. Its intense, its dramatic, its heartbreaking, its exhilarating, its big man crying over sports whether they win or lose, its 40 minutes of pure action down to the last second.

Plus how else can I, a few months hence, objectively sit and cuss NBA teams and GM's on draft day as they overlook proven College stars for long shots and European nobodies. How else would I have known that Dwayne Wade should have gone higher in the draft or that the Raptors should have held onto Kareem Rush instead of trading him for Chris Jefferies a few years back. With any luck I'll see the NBA stars of the future and make my predictions on not just the hyped ones like Kevin Durant and Greg Oden but some more obscure small forward or super quick point guard leading a mid major with grit and determination through the first round.

It gets no better than this folks.

Now to get back to my biggest dilemma. How do I follow cricket scores when the computer is upstairs but the TV and couch are downstairs.

Life as a shorty

Life as a shorty shouldn't be so ruff
Wu Tang - C.R.E.A.M

And just when I thought it couldn't get worse than the teenagers giving the little kids weed now comes a story of a woman who decided to give new meaning to the term crack baby by giving cocaine to her 20 month old.

The words hell and hand basket come immediately to mind. Sigh!

Mmmmm ....... Food

Well World Cup cricket is starting Sunday in the Caribbean. Well actually it has started already but so far just warm up matches are being played.

Last year almost a year in advance I blogged about this event and questioned whether we, the people of the Caribbean, would actually see the highly touted economic returns from this event. That question remains I guess, we'll see in a few months or so.

Back then when I wrote that blog though, I was just thinking about the financial issues but now as things get going I'm starting to realize just how much more there is to this thing than I ever really thought about.

I mean yes the Caribbean isn't made up of first world countries but lawd ave mercy how far were we or did we go to accommodate our guests?

I mean I'm not saying don't accommodate people but at certain points you have to say no that cant fly and make the guests accept your policy too. Instead it just looks like we say to them in advance do whatever you want, we will accept whatever laws you see as fit without question after all don't mind us, is just we live here but you can act as if this is your own place.

What am I talking about? Well I wont even get into the silly story about bajan policemen getting searched at the cricket stadium in Barbados by cricket security people cause that one just too embarrassing to me. I had to hang muh head in shame when I read that.

No what I'm talking about is I see alot of us, as Caribbean people, giving up parts of our culture to host these games. The way we usually watch cricket was deemed not appropriate by the authorities and changes were/are being made.

Cant have all those horns and conch shells making noise in tourist ears. Cant say this, cant say that it might be offensive.

Then there is this whole issue with food. A fella cant even bring a drink of water into a stadium , cause they treating you like the airlines these days, searching you like immigration and nothing cant bring in ya hand or handbags. I guess they are worried about terrorists but still things seem mighty heavy handed.

Plus it seems like with these new security restrictions also applying to the immediate areas around the ground you cant even find a place outside the stadium to buy food or a drink so your only option is the concession stand.

How could we allow this? Ok I mean I understand to some extent the you cant bring in your own food point as the event coordinators want to sell you their expensive stuff from their concession stands and they will point out well you cant bring food into an NBA game or a NFL game or the like. True, good point but cricket could be seen as an exception here cause a cricket match isn't some three hour basketball game its a whole damn day. You go to cricket like you go to work. You get there at 9 or 10 in the morning and don't leave til after 5. Cricket is an outing. You need three squares at cricket, why ya think the players duz have water break, lunch break and tea break? Its not just for fun, its that its a long game and just like the players need their nutrition I think the spectators need theirs too.

Plus lets look at this culturally. Anybody at all who knows traditional West Indian cricket knows that cricket is an outing, a picnic, a lime even and people go into a cricket ground with a picnic basket, or a cooler with a whole heap of food for not only them but in most cases to share with others. Anyone who has heard Paul Keens Douglas' Tanti Merle at the Oval and been to a cricket match knows that his humorous tale contains only slight exaggerations on the girth of the picnic baskets and coolers that people used to bring to cricket back in the days.

Look even a small bony man like myself would walk with two or three hamcutters, a litre a Pine Hill juice, some fish cakes and some other drinks and that is just for me alone. Plus ya done know that if the spirit hit me that food didn't seeing lunch time at all. It might not even mek it past water break.

Ok I'm just joking but the point is Cricket in the Caribbean has always been more than a game Going to an international match is a social event alot more so than say going to a basketball or hockey game in North America. Why? Because you are at cricket the whole day, plus the islands are small and chances are you will definitely see somebody auntie or cousin that you know or somebody that used to work with you 10 years ago and you will get to chat and converse with them at the game. Its hard to make friends at something that you're just going to for for two intense hours like basketball but a cricket match you have ebbs and flows in the on field action so you might sit down next to a complete stranger in the morning and start chatting during a lull in play and by tea you are buying them drinks or borrowing their transistor radio to find out exactly how the commentators say the man was lbw when you see clearly he play bat and pad.

Also at cricket sometimes the play in the stands duz be more exciting than the play on the field too.

Cricket is a social event, a chance to make friends, to cuss, weep, jeer, praise, even chat up the odd woman or two. It is also a chance to eat and drink and eat and drink you must cause you're there for an entire day, you really don't have a choice unless you're fasting.

So no you cant just expect a fella to sit down in a stand for 6+ hours and suck on air or alternatively pay really exorbitant prices every couple of hours to get something to eat. Man that will get very expensive and annoying (as the patrons line up) for the patrons real quick.

Now look I'm not saying let a guy bring in enough food to feed the 5000 but did the planners think about the absolute and draconian measures they were instituting regarding the entry of food and drink and how it affects the fans. Surely some allowance could have been made for even say two bottles of water or a couple of fish cakes to be brought in. Cuhdear!

To me it just feel like we Caribbean people, or whoever it was at the table representing we when they were negotiating the event parameters, just sit down and nod their head to every proposal that was given by the International cricketing bodies without expressing any sort of issues they might have with the parameters.

Ya know what I'm saying?

But then again who am I to complain, ya cant live in the old times. I guess this is the price of progress.

All we do is Spark Mad Izm

marijuana pon di corna
it keep mi calma it mek mi smarta

Marijuana - Richie Spice

I was trying to make time today to blog about last Thursday's storm and my trek through nature's exfoliant aka freezing rain and snow flakes that duz lash ya in the face like dry rice grains. I tell ya my short walk home in that storm was like a free facial. Plus you should see all the tree branches and such that came down from the high winds. The day after all the trees around my place were covered in ice. It was quite a sight.

But yes I was going to blog about that ...until I saw this. Two Texas teenagers are under arrest for giving marijuana to a 2-year-old and a 5-year-old boy. Imagine that!

I mean I know some fellas that start smoking early and I know some children who have tasted alcohol at very young ages but giving a 2 year old weed? Now that is pretty bad. I mean actually lighting a blunt and giving it to a 2 year old child? Man that's just wrong. Come on now there's got to be a minimum age on puff, puff, pass.

What got me too is that the children's mother was in the next room sleeping and she "didn't realize" this was going on.

What could that really mean? That she is accustomed to the two guys smoking up around her kids or that she knew that they gave drugs to the youngsters and didn't care.

Talking about one she was sleeping off a toothache. Toothache mi eye! She was probably high too.

And though the story doesn't say how old she is I saw her on TV and she looks very young probably a teenager herself or just barely out of her teens. The children raising children. Then she has the audacity to look at the cameras and say she don't think the children should be in foster care they should be home with her.

Home with she so they can get high again? Chupse! She want two hard slaps or locking up. What kind of mother lets this kind of stuff happen. Pure lawlessness!

Pregnant or not?

Have you ever been speaking to or in the presence of someone who you were sure was pregnant just because of the way they looked only to later find out that you were mistaken?

No I not trying to diss fat people cause all fat people dont look pregnant and at the same time all pregnant people up to a certain stage dont look fat. No what I'm talking about is when the stomach fat sits a certain way and it just looks like the person is pregnant.

Why I'm asking is because I almost made a major faux pax and almost asked a lady that I thought was pregnant when she's due.

It was a few weeks back. I had to go see this lady in another office to get something done. So to expediate the matter and since everytime I go into that office I does get greeted by all sort of screw face people I decide I going in and try to be extra nice and the like.

When I get there she was seated but her belly was big and round and I thought well I guess she pregnant so maybe I should try and steer the conversation towards kids cause I dont know if you know but that is a good way to bond with people.

Yes I just find that out since having the yout last year. All a sudden people that didnt used to talk ta ya, especially women, once they know that you have a child they duz start telling you all their children stories. Everybody duz have advice and stories about daycare and feeding and changing and potty training and diapers and baby medicine and all sort of thing so. Its like a special club that you dont know exist until you have a child. The stories duz just start to flow once they hear that you now have children. Not that I personally want to hear those stories but ya duz just have to stand there and shake ya head and nod and say oh and act like ya really interested.

So when I see this lady looking pregnant I say well maybe I should steer the converstaion towards kids, mayb ask her when she going on maternity leave or something so in order for her to realize that I'm a friendly fella so she wouldnt be always looking vex whenever i walk in her office.

Well boy all I can say is a good thing I never do that cause a week later I see her walking around and she didnt look pregnant to me at all. Imagine now if I had asked her when she due or when she going on maternity leave. Cuhdear she might have cuss me or throw something at me.

So yea let me know if you ever been a situation like that where you thought somebody was pregnant open ya mout too fast and realize ya mek a mistake.

This and that

- Saw the funniest exchange this morning between two old ladies on University Ave in front of the hospitals. One lady was about 5'8" and the other was about 4'11". So as I passed by the taller lady said "You're wearing my coat and I'm wearing yours" as she pulled at the shorter lady's coat. I was fully expecting her to try to exchange coats right there on the sidewalk. Actually I'm not sure if they did, it was too cold and windy and I wasn't waiting around to watch.

- Breaking news!! No nothing to do with that eediat that chop off she hair. No. My man Obadele Thompson is marrying Marion Jones! and not only that but Jones is expecting! Wow! Good thing I never really post off my thoughts on Jones (or maybe I did but I cant find them anymore) cause I cant disrespect a fellow HC bredren. Actually if it was anyone else but Oba I think I'd probably have made this one into a fairly sarcastic post but dude gets enough flack from the bajan public and politicians already and as far as I remember from back in the day he's a good guy so respect due and I wish him and Marion nothing but the best of luck.

- Cranky I did a check and I did post on the Black History Month thing last year. Not much has changed on my feelings there and occurrences like the one at Wilfrid Laurier that Straight from Scarborough spoke on recently (which seems to have not gotten much coverage at all) still show why some Canadians need an education on other cultures. Yes sir its just like Kanye said 'Racism's still alive they just be concealing it'.

- This had me laughing yesterday. Found it on Radmila's blog. All I can say is Lysol that's ruff.

- Saw a street kid on Queen St W yesterday begging for change with this sign "Need money for Penis Enlargement. I keep coming up short". Was tempted as I walked by to say either "Bredren I think I can spare ya a lil something" or "Star so is you that tief my sign". lol

By your command

Riding the bus/train just aint the same anymore with TTC. Everything going automated and computerized and machinized these days.

First
they adding new security cameras on the buses. A sign of the times I
guess. What with one driver getting shot last year and others being
attacked on late night routes by hoodlums I guess its a necessity.
Still is like a man cant even sneeze without being caught up on film.
Is like I have my own personal paparazzi everytime I'm on the bus. Enough to make a man feel like a Top Celebrity. :-)

Then
they have a pilot project using GPS
to announce every bus stop on the routes these days. Got a sort of
robotic female sounding voice doing the announcements accompanied by an
LCD display and flashing lights. Its not a bad idea because at least if
you are unfamiliar with where you are and somebody tell you to get off
the bus at a certain spot you wont be totally reliant on the driver who
may or may not have a clue as to where it is you say you want to
disembark. That is assuming the computer and GPS know what they doing.
Sometimes I am not too sure bout these computer things.

They
also have the same robotic voice in the subway which is good cause
occasionally in the morning the conductors used to royally screw up the
station name. See we just reach Broadview and the man announcing St George or Yonge
St already. Making half sleeping transit riders wake up and dash out
the door only to realize they still 5 stations short of the mark.
Chupse!

So yea all this automation stuff might actually have a purpose.

But
what had me yesterday on the way home was that the train I was in had
another type of robotic voice. I don't know if it was that the
usual robot voice call in sick or she had a bad sore throat or they
were trying out a new voice but it didn't sound like the usual voice
at all. Instead I could have sworn that the voice they using was from
one of those Cylons from the old Battlestar Galactica.

Ya remember the old Battlestar Galactica;
Lorne Greene, Richard Hatch not the Survivor fella the other one, Dirk
Benedict when Starbuck was a man
not a woman? Well yes the automated voice they were using on the subway
sounded just like that. It was scary let me tell ya cause I was
expecting to see the subway doors open and a couple a Cylons bust through the door and start letting off phasers
or blasters or whatever it was that they used.

Oh well who knows what was really happening. I mean Cylons got to work and support they families too so I cant fault a fellow.

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happy valentines

Happy valentines to all my readers. If ya dont celebrate the day ignore the greeting. If ya single dont let nobody mek ya feel bad about being single on this day. Do ya thing. nuff said.

And on another note. This is my 2 & 1/2 year blogversary. Its been a long time.

They say

My name is Ellie Mae from Mobile, Alabama
and I just want to say since listenin' to Kanye's workout tape
I been able to date outside the family, I got a double wide
And I row the plain, row the plain, row the plain

A.N.S in the video for Kayne West's New Work Out Plan

They say she dead.

That was probably the only thing they say that they were sure of.

They say she dead cause she lose 65 lbs quick quick quick soon after the baby born. They say woman bodies shouldn't be going through all that change so quick after baby born cause is all hormones and heap a woman business still going on as body trying to readjust itself after 9 months a pregnancy. That quick weight loss cant be proper they say especially since she ain't do it natural but use some sort of slim fast trim fast drug business to lose the weight. No star dat nuh right.

But no they say it wasnt the drugs it was Kayne's workout plan that make her lose the weight (see intro quote). But they still say the weight lost not natural and that is what kill her. Poor Kayne he a scapegoat fi everybody.

Then they say no it ain't the weight loss is that she had depression cause soon after the chile did born she first born dead under mysterious circumstances and dat added on to the post partum depression from the chile birth tek she over the edge. She just couldn't deal wid all the issues and dem kill her.

They say she do drugs, she did love off alcohol more than some a dem old fellas you wud see in a corner shop every day that have more rum in dem veins than blood.

Plus they claim say dem find powder in she room and it wasn't no Johnson & Johnson business like the old ladies duz put on dem face to go church wid or the young girls duz dash on dem bosom for when they walking down Broad Street. No sar! It was powder of a different kind. They say they tek it now to the lab for testing and wonder if Horatio from CSI-Miami a deal wid de case cause dem CSI bwoy would get to the bottom of this in under an hour.

Then they say no is somebody kill she. Murderation! They say rumor and speculation insist that she did onto something and somebody find she did on to this something and bram! just like she son went under mysterious circumstances a so she a go. They say is conspiracy like when X files did good. She get too close to the truth. They say if she did smart shewudda did do like granny say "See n Blind, Hear n Deaf". But no she musse talk out the business and de wrong somebody find out that she find out and dem silence her. Blouse n Skirt!

Then they say no it is to do with the case against her where somebody suing her and the diet company. They claim that the diet pillsnuh work like she claim say they work. They say diet pills more fraudulent than Miss Cleo (call me now!) Dem nuh do nuttin just tek foolish people money and mek other people rich. Yes that is what they say.

They say well she come from nothing and look how she end up. They say she was trying to be Marilyn Monroe but she lack de class. They say she cant walk in Marilyn high heels at all cause Marilyn was Marilyn. She was just a poor imitation or some big word I cant pronounce properly. A ca-ca-ca caricature or something so. I cant really be too sure if that is what they say cause I cant understanddem big word too good.

They say it was just all about the money for her. Yes she would do anything for money. Look how she marry off that old old fella that could be she great-grandfather and send 'im long to 'im grave early. Well if ya consider reaching 100 early. Then is over a decade now and still they say that she an the man pickney a fight over money. They say the man have more money than three Oprah Winfrey combine and so as she was the widow she want half. But the children say no the father never want she to have half and she only deserve alikkle piece no big 1/2 a billion dollars like the judge award she. That is what they say.

They say she was a real man eater just watch off the TV show wid her. They say she just run down nuff man on the television show to jump them bones. Doan ask me I never watch the show I just telling ya what they say. They say it was reality TV and if that was how she can go and get on with cameras following her about when you would figure she tone it down a bit imagine how crazy she must act when no camera around. They saynuff slackness a gwan on dat show. Mek me say I must try catch dat in rerun and see for myself what dem a talk bout. Just cause I don't like all the hearsay business I man prefer to see for myself and come to my own conclusion.

They say they no know who the pickney fadda! They say like she didn't know either. What a ting! She claim say is one man but another man claim it is his and now from what they say it look like two other man show up on the scene to claim to be the fadda too. They say she should a gwan on Maury and get a DNA test to figure that out before she dead. They say now chile will go through all set of legal issues and turn rag doll for people to fight custody battle over. Poor chile!

But is how come so many man a run say dem a de chile father they say? This must be the most wanted baby in the world! Cause ya know usually man duz be quick to say no it ain't mine, the chile never favor me, she trying to pin jacket pun me, I never sleep wid her, she lying, is not me is my twin brother from another mudda that wunnah never meet yet that pose off like me and get her pregnant. Yes they say man always have excuse for why dem not the chile fadda so it seem funny that so many man rushing up to claim fatherhood for this baby.

Oh wait they say. Yes the chile will inherit all the mudda money. Is just man look for quick money ting now. Alright den, that explain it.

Yea bwoy they say a whole heap a tings about her. They say she was a actress but she couldn't act. They say she was just one of them people that you wasn't quite sure why she was famous or why ya should care about her but she was always in the news.

They say so much about her that I know more about her now dead than when she was alive.

Well, they say she dead, they say nuff other things too but that was probably the only thing they say that they were sure of. Rumor & Speculation a so it a go!

Loves gonna get cha

Ya know that's why man I be telling you all the time man, you know LOVE,
that word love is a very serious thing, and if you don't watch out I tell ya
that (Love's gonna get you) because a lot of people out here say "i love my
car" or "i love my chain" or or "i'm i'm just in love with that girl over
there"

Love's gonna get cha- BDP

So the big story today was about this astronaut lady who tried to kidnap and assault a romantic rival. The story is too funny. Well actually its a bit sad but funny still.

Imagine this astronaut lady seem to be involved with another astronaut fella that she duz train with and she find out that he maybe got another woman. Nothing certain certain but maybe, possibly. Or maybe he ain't got the woman but this other woman interested in he maybe, possibly. So what this astronaut woman do? She drive miles and miles, hours and hours to confront the woman and when she get there, she disguise herself, follow around the lady, scare the living daylights out of her, had she lock way in she car afraid of her and even spray something on her too. Imagine that?

Boy this love thing duz drive people insane it seems. I mean it was so bad with the astronaut lady that when she was driving the 900 miles to confront the other woman she put on diapers so she could drive straight and wouldn't have to stop to go to the bathroom. That show ya how serious she was about finding the other woman. Now that is some real love smitten business. De only word I can find to adequately describe she is the one the Trinis duz use ...bazodee. She did well bazodee cause no sane adult that don't have some sort of acute bladder problem ain't going to be putting on no diapers to drive bout the place in. It don't matter how much Huggies, Luvs and Pampers advertise bout how comfortable they duz be none a we around here did gine put them on instead a we regular underwear to drive 900 miles. So I feel she head got to be bad. Mad sick head no good.

But that ain't the half of it. When you first read the story you would feel well maybe this astronaut lady is some lil young ting free and single running after man and ya might say to ya self well poor ting she ain't know no better and she deserve some sympathy. Uh uh! Nope! First of all she is 43 and as we would say in Barbados and this ain't an insult to nobody that is 43 but 'a dog she age ain't no pup' meaning she ain't no young yam she is a grown hard back woman.

Then ya read further and to mek it even worse she married with three children. Imagine that? She running after another man, driving miles and miles in diapers to kidnap a rival and she married off and got nuff pickney too. Well well well! I wonder who was looking after she children when she did looking to kidnap the other lady?

Boy I would really like to see what her husband had to say to her after she get arrest or how he feel cause see me if dat did my wife doing that foolishness she couldn't get two cents fa bail money from me. I would leff she dey, let the other ass-tronaut come and bail she out.

Ya know what I love about this story though? It sound real ghetto but it actually isn't!

Certain people duz feel that only people name things like Laquadisha and Sharadeefa and them sort of foolish names so duz behave this sort of way. They duz feel that only lil ghetto people, or people with no education or poor people or people of a certain race or who ain't from a certain class duz behave like this and fight over man.

Well ya know what I glad that this astronaut girl come bout and behave so and show that is not just them lil young girls taking out their earrings, putting Vaseline on their faces and pulling out one another weaves that duz behave so. No star, some so called educated people with big degrees from big time Universities and professional people with specialized jobs and all that could still behave like idiots over this man woman business.

Its like the teacha said 'Love's gonna get cha'.

Cell phone debate

"Hol on let me answer mi cellular"
Cellular Phone - Bounty Killa

Recently I've been hearing and reading a bit about proposed bannings of cellphones in schools in various countries. There is some talk of it in Barbados at the moment after a recent incident where a student was killed for his phone and now there is some talk of it here in Toronto.

Frankly I'm surprised that this issue has taken so long to be put on the table as it was one of the first things I thought about when I realized the prevalence of cellphones especially amongst high school students. I can just imagine how annoying it must be currently to be a teacher and continually be reminding students to turn off or turn down their phones in class etc. Talk about issues with attention span back in the days it was only paper planes and spit balls and the like that teachers had to deal with. Now on top of those they have to compete with text messages and the random, whistles, bells, song snippets and whatever passes for ring tones these days. So many distractions to the students. I think as a teacher that might drive me postal.

Yes the new portable technology that we have at our finger tips is amazing. Cell phones, Ipods and other mp3 players, portable DVD players, Ps2s, laptops etc are great ........ when put to legitimate use. Still when one is in school is there the need for all of this stuff?

I remember back in my high school days, a long time ago in a galaxy far far away, at the advent of portable video games our school staff took what appeared to myself as a young student to be a draconian stance regarding those items. They were completely banned from the school premises. It didn't matter if you weren't playing with them or not if they were found in your possession you were in trouble. (I could tell you a story about me, that and detention but I have a certain image to uphold.)

OK so you cant really compare video games with cell phones which sometimes have a legitimate use but at the same time whats the big issue with banning cellphones from the classrooms and hallways of our schools?

Well the above linked article gives some opinions of staff, students and parents towards the proposed ban and if there is one thing that the article suggests to me its that human beings in general are getting more stupid by the minute. It makes one wonder if those fanciful back stories to sci-fi tales where the machines rise up and take over aren't as far fetched as they seem cause frankly technology is making us bleeping imbeciles!

I mean I understand keeping in touch with where the child is going to be after school but do you have to keep in touch during school hours too? Hear one parent talking about how she uses the cell phone to remind her children of appointments. So wait before cell phones children didn't have appointments too? You cant remind the children before they leave home? Chupse! The children don't got a memory that they cant remember something so for a couple of hours and you have to call them in class to remind them? In class the child should be focused on the teacher or doodling in a notebook or troubling some other child not dealing with parents on cell phones reminding them of things to do.

Then hear one child talking about she don't mind them banning them in the classrooms but they shouldn't ban phones in the hallway cause she uses them to find her friends at break. Again big chupse! So before cell phones how people used to find their friends? Ya didn't used to ask them where they were going to be at break or holler out their name to find them or use the eyesight or speech that God give you to ask somebody where them is? Cheese on bread!

I tell ya, we becoming too dependent on this technology business. It stunting we brain! It stifling we common sense!

And what got me is that when you think about it the parents of these kids should know better. I forgive the kids cause they grow up with the technology and they ain't know any better but the parents? They ain't grow up with no cellphones. Yes is a different society we live in with more dangers etc but still ain't no need for cellphones during class hours. Tell the child what he/she needs to do in the morning before they go off to school. Don't wait till they trying to get lil Arithmetic in dey head in Ms Jones class to confuse them about home business. Plan out what needs to be done and if ya forget deal with it the next day.

That took my thinking to another thought. Why do we need to be continually connected? Even in the adult world is it absolutely necessary for persons to know where you are at every moment of the day? Do we need to converse with persons who aren't around that much? You cant be in the car or walking for 10 minutes without checking in or dialing up or whatever?

Just a thought.

But back to the schools and the cellphones. I didn't even mention the dangers of kids taking naughty photos and videos with cellphones or using the Internet or text messaging to cheat. No man too much issues with this phone thing at school. Take it away from the classrooms. Its just an added distraction to the already short attention span of kids these days. Take it out! Dash way the cell phones at school during school hours. Ban dem!

Booty tax

I'll be back but for now jusss ............
Boy it been so long I aint blog that I like I dont even remember how to blog no more. Its been so long that I was waiting for Nas to hit me up for a "Where are they now" bloggers guest spot.

Anyway I going come back slowly just checking to see if anybody still checking for me. So to start let me just talk about this. I read this thing about how some group trying to fight the "booty tax" they say that the government impose on people.

What is a booty tax you ask? No is not a tax on women wid big bottoms is a tax on booty calls. They claim if you in Toronto or wherever and de squeeze or some random partner call you up late night and tell you come over for a booty call and you go cross there and park on the street and then get a parking ticket the next morning that that parking ticket is a booty tax cause is a tax on you mekkin a booty call, getting your groove on, mekkin movementations whatever you may call it.

Well boy they say that they in favor of a lil $10 ticket that you can buy online and put on you car if you going out them times of night to make said booty call instead of ending up with a big 50 or more dollar parking ticket.

No romance widout finance. dat is all I saying for now.