Not Classy to Ashy

"Seen crying her rich little eyes out in Court, Paris Hilton cried out for her mommy before being lead off to her jail cell. "

So I guess in all this hoopla I am supposed to feel sorry for her right? Poor little spoilt rich girl. Cuhdear!

And I guess because she cried and bawled for mommy and because she thinks the 45 day sentence is unfair I should have some sympathy as if people with real sentences and real beefs with their verdicts don't also get sent to jail.

Sorry Paris I just don't have that sympathy or compassion to spare right now. You did the crime you man up to the sentence.

First off, it isn't like you're in a real jail anyways. You're in your own cell, no cellmate, in a nice little club-fed like jail. Ain't not one shank within 20 miles of that joint. But I guess coming from where you are coming from this must be the scariest place you've ever had to stay overnight.

So you somehow finagled yourself out of the sentence into house arrest. The sheriff said you were sick and released you. That's one of the slickest escapes I've seen since Bo and Luke were escaping the Hazzard County jail on the daily. Ah ha! I always wondered where Roscoe P Coldtrain went after the show, I guess he was reincarnated as Sheriff Lee Baca. Probably didn't hinder your release that your grand daddy Warbucks contributed to the Sheriff's election either. What do they say? One hand washes the other?

But seriously don't you see how commuting your sentence to house arrest is just like letting you off scotch free? I mean house arrest is cool when the person is confined to a small apartment or 2 bedroom house or something but house arrest in your ridiculous mansion? How many rooms y'all got in that joint? Come on now, that spot is probably as big as some entire parishes in the Caribbean. Giving you house arrest is like giving you a vacation at home. You could call in the rest of the 'non talented or famous for not doing a damn thing useful' crowd and party for a whole month.

The media seems to want us to pity your situation. The judge is being too harsh, he needs to be lenient, he's targeting you, they are trying to make an example of celebrities. Whatever! It might be true or it might not be true but look you thought you were above the system. You thought well hell I get away with my wild behavior all the time, my exhibitionist ways, showing off my privates in public, my tirades, my drunken exploits. Its what America no cut that what the world expects of me, Paris.

Well looks like its time to pay the piper.

So that I'm sick get me out of jail card doesn't gain any sympathy over here. Sorry when someone is sick in jail they get sent to the infirmary not home. Hell even pregnant women don't get sent home from jail, they deliver right there behind bars. Sick isn't a get out of jail free card. Please!

The funniest thing that I read though was this comment that I saw on Friday:"Friends said that she was not eating or sleeping in jail, and that she had been crying a lot. Some reports suggested that this was because she had not been allowed to wax or use moisturiser. Others claimed she was on the verge of a breakdown. "

In another report they also claimed she was suicidal.

Well pardon me! You mean to tell me that lack of moisturizer can lead to a breakdown and suicidal thoughts? If that's the case then they best not run out of soap up there at that prison or Paris will be a goner for sure.

But think about it how sweet is your life if ashiness is the major problem depressing you? Not money, not mortgage or car payment, not illness or family drama or work stressing you but moisturising you skin. Damn that must be nice but again its not the type of thing likely to gain sympathy from me or the general public.

Still I guess I learnt something new today. All these Anti-depression drugs like Zoloft, Xanax and Prozac that people wasting their money on all their mental problems would be easily resolved instead if we only just gave them some Vaseline Intensive Care lotion to relieve their ashiness. Forget Global Warming and all that's silliness we as a people must ban together and battle the spread of that insidious scourge ashiness. Share the moisturizing cream with those less fortunate and more ashy.

What the world needs now is lotion, just lotion.

Abduction

This story made me laugh this morning.

Saw it as a breaking news story on TV last night and thought I hope they solve this. Witnesses saw a scruffy looking man dragging a 4 year old girl through a wooded area and alerted police. They then staged a massive manhunt assuming that the girl was abducted. Last night's scenes showed tens of police beating the bush looking for this alleged criminal and the lost girl.

Then when ya hear the shout the girl ain't get no abducted or kidnapped. The scruffy looking man was her father.

Well to me it was good for a laugh.

Cant blame the witnesses they did what they thought was right. Cant blame the police either they responded and didn't take chances. I blame the lil girl cause if she was behaving sheself the scruffy looking father wouldn't have to drag she along anyplace.

But how scruffy is scruffy that people wouldn't think you are the father and report you to police? I want to know cause I feel something like that could easily happen to me.

Sooner or later somebody going say "Police look I see a scruffy looking black man pushing a stroller in Scarborough wid a chile crying and de chile doan look nuttin like he. He look suspicious too. I feel he kidnap de people chile!"

Next thing ya know task force and all sorta police wid big guns AK-47s and Bazookas chase me down, surround me an shoot me cause dem mistake de straw in my Tim Hortons ice-cap for a 9 millimeter or something equally ridiculous.

Wunnah may laugh but dat could happen.

See how children duz get ya in trouble?

Body Slam

Boy this fella Akon could only be a good pieca idiot!

I mean he get cuss out good and proper fa wukkin up on the young under-age girl in Trinidad just last month or so and now he back in the news for stupidness again.

How he going to throw a fan off the stage just so?

Look try and Google or youtube the video for yourself but I watched it last night and all I can say is now I can see why he had to sing lyrics like "I'm locked up, they wont let me out" cause for right now I feel they shouldn't have let you out in the first place. At least not without some sort of psychological evaluation.

I mean regardless of what the fan said to you how are you going to invite the man up on stage and then without warning do your best imitation of the WWF and just up and fling the man into the crowd? What kind of stupidness that is?

And what is Akon's problem with picking up people? First it was the young girl who he fling round all over the stage like she was a rag doll now he lifts up this guy and throw him down bram! just like a big bag of cement. Look man behave yourself people aren't inanimate objects that you can just do them sort of things too.

But you ain't got nuh sorta sense man? The Trinidad thing cost you sponsorships and tour dates and all sort of money and now you get a lil pieca stage time here and this is how you behave? Plus if you're going do these sorts of things why would you do them in places where people got a million cameras? I was able to watch you throw the man offstage from at least 4 different angles last night without even doing a serious search for it. You aint realize that every time you perform somebody nowadays duz got a camera phone, a video camera, a tv camera sometimes even a pinhole camera aimed at ya. And once they got you on film you cant deny and say i wasn't you that do the deed.

Looka boy I don't know what wrong with you but try and disappear for a while cause you getting out of hand plus your voice starting to get on my nerves like Rihanna's Um-ba-rella. Go and seek salvation or something cause you really need the lord.

eediat ting dat!

How the world gone mad! (this is like 5 posts in one so feel free to leave me 5 times the comments)

Chapter 1: All we certain of is that he's dead.
Ya mean to tell me that three months later they are going to come out and tell me that Bob Woolmer wasn't murdered? Chupse! You know how bad that murder business did look on the Caribbean and the World Cup and now you're saying it was natural causes? Chupse! Ya mean people was speculating about betting mafias, Muslim and Hindu extremists, strangulation, secret poisons, hitmen and everything under the sun and all for nothing. You know how many blog posts I waste on Woolmer and how much words other people waste on this case plus nothing to talk about the damage this cause to reputations and the like? And ya know people going say the Caribbean police ain't up to the mark but the pathologist that start the ball rolling on this murder thing ain't West Indian, the Jamaican police inspector in charge wasn't West Indian either plus the Jamaican police had call in Scotland Yard. You know Scotland Yard? Dem fellas that used to link up with Sherlock Holmes and could solve a murder just by looking at the sweat under a hat rim and a shadow somebody left in the back yard. Dem fellas supposed to be good man. How come they couldn't tell we from every since that the man wasn't murdered?

Eediat ting dat!

Chapter 2: Terror in the skies
I guess by now everybody's heard about this joker with the TB who flew all over the Western world. Andrew Speaker knew he was sick with TB yet he chose to fly all the way to Greece for his wedding. Then even though officials there told him to stay put cause he was infected with a strain resistant to the usual drugs he flew all the way back via Prague to Canada then drove to the US for treatment claiming that he was afraid that if he stayed over in Europe he would have died.

Chupse! You ever hear such stupidness? You know how many people this man could have infected? Bin Laden would be recommending he for awards for the damage he could have inflicted! Speaker is on a bunch of planes with hundreds of passengers going all over the world, then he gets off in Montreal and drives down to the US likely stopping at a couple of Tim Hortons on the way. You know how many people he could have possibly come into contact with and spread his disease? (I mean even the smallest Tim Hortons does have like 200 people lined up for a double double and a donut when the morning come.)

The Authorities always chatting about Al Quida and Iran and Iraq doing biological warfare but this man could have played Typhoid Mary on a global scale and set off a new black plague or super epidemic that could have wiped out a significant chunk of the Western World.

Homeland security running down every man jack with a tan, we worrying bout Chicken flu, and people still ain't coming back to Toronto since CNN & BBC bad mouth we bout the lil SARs outbreak 4 years ago that get blown out of proportion meanwhile this clown running about the place free as a bird with a disease that if it turned into an epidemic could have made 9/11 look like a lil nail juk.

And then on top of that now he got the nerve to talk about he sorry. Sorry! Sorry doesn't begin to excuse your actions. Man if I had been on a plane with him during this affair I would be now looking to lick he down with two big rocks or getting my Chuck Fender on (gash dem & light dem).

Talk about absolutely selfish.

Now he's complaining about why they have armed guards at his hospital door? Well my boy its because you run around the place even though they told you to stay put and you endangered thousands of lives. You my man are a threat to society and if there was any real justice in this world they would lock you away for a good long time.

Oh and the icing on the case is that he's done completely screwed up his father in law cause how it going to look that he had TB and run around so when the father-in-law is a TB expert. Way to get in with the in-laws Andrew!

Eediat ting dat!

Chapter 3: The Rundown
Speaking of in-laws. Then there is this incident. Some sort of Sri Lankan on Sri Lankan violence in Toronto. This high school kid has been seriously targeted. First allegedly some of the guys from his school threw a Molotov cocktail through the window of his home. They missed him but his mother and sister both got injured with his mother still in hospital now with serious burn injuries.

Now as if that wasn't bad enough the father of the girl he's been dating tries to run both him and the girl over.

Sorry to tell you this my yout but you my friend are snakebit. You need to keep a low profile. And if I was someone who knew you I would be trying to keep my distance too cause I ain't sure what will happen next with you. You wearing a target and I ain't want to be anywhere close to you.

The eediat ting award in this story though goes to the father who tried to run down this lad and his own daughter. My man I could understand that you vex that this guy going out with your daughter but tell me how running over both of them solves anything? I mean maybe I might give you a pass if you were the TB fellow's father in law in the previous chapter cause his career might go through the Eedoes because his daughter marry a moron.

I might even give you a pass if you just run down the fella but once you added your daughter into the equation I got to seriously question your logic. Yes running her over gets rid of the dating problem but umm it also gets rid of your daughter. Did you stop and think about that. Hmmmm.

All I can say is that your head got to be bad my man.

Eediat ting that!

Chapter 4: Oops!
So Billy Donovan, former coach of the back to back NCAA champs the Florida Gators signs a big 27 Mil contract to move onto the NBA and coach the Orlando Magic and budding superstar Dwight Howard. Good move Mr Donovan. Lets look at it logically. You are at the top of your game having won two championships so nothing left to prove at the college level. Your star college players have all declared for this years NBA draft so next year in College ball the team will struggle. check! You're heading to the NBA the toppa toppa basketball league in the world and you're getting a pay raise. 27 Mil contact. Damn that's like Lotto money! Way to go Billy!

So you sign the contact on Friday and now its Monday and you decide you have made a mistake? Mistake? Guy they are paying you 27 Mil , to coach in the biggest league in the world. You have one of the better young big men on your new roster and a young team that made the playoffs this year, your old team is going to suck for a couple of years, you get to stay in Florida and if the Magic fire you you probably still get most of that money. Mistake, how could this be a mistake?

Now you are saying you want out and the Magic are saying if you want out they can sue you for breach of contract. So you're going from +27 Mil to negative money. Way to go Billy, way to go!

Eediat ting dat!

Chapter 5: Trini to the Bomb
Saturday at one of my myriad social events (and yes in case you wondered I hit up every last one of them and survived although at one event I was repeated attacked by a small child with a balloon sword) I heard about this alleged terror plot targeting JFK being perpetrated by some West Indian people. Guyanese and Trini apparently not that it matter which countries cause all a we is one and this is going to reflect badly on the region as a whole.

Apparently they had some plan to blow up something or the other at JFK and disrupt the flights. Serious business that!

Anyway two things about this alleged plot got me. First off one of the suspects is a former MP from Guyana. MP? You mean as in Member of Parliament? An elected official? I'm going to have to ask Guyana Gyal what kind of people them voting for down there cause I was really shocked that a fellow with them sort of credentials would do something so. I mean I know a lot of politicians aint really that bright but you really don't expect a fellow once he been involved in electoral politricks to turn terrorist.

Yes the Caribbean full of crooked politicians but most a them just trying to line their pockets quick before they get vote out they ain't trying to blow up nobody.

And then the other thing was that to show how stupid these wannabe terrorists were the biggest joke is that homeland security say that the plot wasn't even technically feasable. Chupse! So you mean you was plotting for a good long while, long enough for people to put you under surveillance, collect evidence and arrest you, and it turn out that the whole thing wouldn't even have worked if you had had the chance to execute it? Chupse! That is insult added to injury. That is like me sitting down here and get blueprints and safe cracking tools and hire getaway car and come up with a plan to go rob the bank on the corner and when ya hear the shout the bank on the corner been closed down for 5 years. Waste a damn time!

Shame on allya wannabe terrorists! Not only wunnah mek West Indians look bad but wunnah mek we look stupid stupid too! Before y'all start this thing somebody should have sent one of wunnah that email that been floating around about why West Indians cannot be terrorists.

Eediat ting dat!

Um-ba-rel-la

OK now bajan people don't get too upset wid muh.

Look I love the fact that Rihanna is bajan and that she's doing her thing. Much respect. I thought the debut album had nuff potential although I will argue that the sophomore attempt while doing just as well or better on the market left a bit to be desired in terms of the quality of work. To me it felt a bit rushed, not as focused or sharp as the debut but in this music game I guess you've got to be constantly pushing new material or the fickle teenagers and 18-34 demographic will forget about you in a hurry. Mind you, you can also annoy the hell out of the listeners with too much lackluster material too quickly. Ask Ja Rule.

So now she's prepping a third album. Third album in just about three years. Yes she's on Def Jam but does she have to release albums at the pace of the commercial rappers? I mean look at some of the guys on Def Jam who worked at that pace; DMX is out there somewhere getting arrested or high, Ja Rule fell off hard and even Luda is starting to sound a bit jaded.

Is Rihanna locked into a really bad contract and trying to fulfil her album requirements as soon as possible? Or are her handlers afraid that we'll forget about her, amidst all the young wannabe divas, if she's not constantly in our ears?

Anyways that's not even what I wanted to speak on. I know everyone must have heard Rihanna's Umbrella song by now. Its in constant rotation and from what I saw of the video its kind of hot too.

For me though I just want to say that while the song has a catchy tune it just seems like it has only one word....... Umbrella. And how do I put this tactfully? Rhianna singing that word Umbrella over and over is sort of annoying. (the sort of part was my attempt at tact in case you missed it) Especially as she pronounces it Um-ba-rel-la.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who feels this way?

All I'm asking is who pronounces Umbrella, Um-ba-rel-la? Anybody ever look at you and say 'buddy that rain just hit outta nowhere I could share that um-ba-rel-la with you?'

Where did she get that pronunciation from? That ain't even a word. I mean I could forgive her if she was speaking bajan and pronounced it 'am-brella' or something similar cause I would put that down to well she just throw in a lil' bajan thing there but Um-ba-rel-la? Which part she get this Um-ba-rel-la foolishness from? Aint no ba in umbrella. I know she couldnt learn nuttin so up Waterford. The word has two, sorry three syllables; Um-brell-a. Ain't no four syllables in there, no Um-ba-rel-la. I mean I hear 'bout Barbarella and Spindarella (not a fella but a girl dj) but never in my life about no um-ba-rel-la.

Looka Rihanna listen to me. Next time if ya cant pronounce it properly forget this Um-ba-rel-la foolishness stick ta what ya know and call um a parasol.

You dont know Jack!

Literally in my case.

So its been about two and a half years since we've been here in the new place in the borough that thinks its so tough that its got to be called Scar-borough. The toughness of Scarborough, the place where no one smiles well thats another blog in itself but lets just say in my opinion I'm completely surrounded by Plexi-glass thugs. (yo I need to copyright that term.)

Anyway where was I, oh yea, two and a half years living in the burbs. Yea dont get it twisted , the folks on the street in Scarborough may mean mug but this place is definetly the burbs. Ok maybe a bit of an edge every now and then to the burbs here but its burbs nevertheless.

Man, I'm still not a burbs guy, too much quiet makes me a bit uneasy like a calm before the storm. I'm always waiting for something crazy to jump off cause I think that the burbs lulls you into a false sense of security and then you're unprepared when the ruckus comes through.

Still my hood is pretty quiet and nice too I must say. My neighbors are very diverse and for the most part most of them are pretty cool. I kind of keep pretty much to myself still. Thats just my usual m.o. I do the pleasantries but its not like I'm stopping by to borrow a cup of sugar or gossip or anything. If I see you then I see you and wont be rude but thats about it. Most I've gotten into is conversations about the annoying raccoons or about lawns and gardens. Oh yea and now that we have a baby thats always a source of conversation too.

But onto Jack. Who's Jack? No not Jack Bauer. Jack's one of my neighbors a few doors down or so I thought.

Jack's a pretty cool guy. We say hi whenever we see each other and we may go over to each other and start a conversation. You know neighborly stuff. One year I was out raking the gazillion leaves that blow off the other side of the street onto my lawn and he even lent me his leaf blower. Pretty cool guy. Think he's got a snow blower too. Hmmm maybe I should get to know him better.

Anyway all that preamble to get to the meat of the story. Yesterday I'm out watering the garden (its all about putting my stamp on the flower beds this year) and Jack was out mowing. So he comes over and we get into a conversation. Its going pretty well and he's talking about work and stuff when he makes a comment referring to himself in the third person like 'they say Jack blah blah blah'. Only problem is, wait a second, did I hear correctly he didnt call himself Jack. He referred to himself by another name.

So now I'm standing there like ummm is that his middle name or something? Hmmm. I didnt ask any questions but I'm thinking oh oh I may have been calling this guy by the wrong name for the last two and a half years and wait a minute if he isnt Jack then who the hell is?

Still I play it off as we chat even though I find it a slight bit disturbing and meanwhile my brain is working furiously trying to decipher this event.

Conversation ends I go back inside still trying to figure it out. So my wife smart person that she is actually wrote down all the neighbor's names when we first moved in, mind you she thinks he's Jack too. Anyway she looks it up and what do you know his name isnt Jack after all.

Somehow for two and a half years we've both been calling this cat Jack and thats not his name? And he never said anything about it?

Hmmm well maybe he thinks that Jack is like a cool black term for friend or something. Or maybe he just thinks I'm an idiot (which is true). Whatever it is the whole episode thought me that I really didn't know Jack.

Now if I can only figure out where I got the name Jack from in the first place?

Scary

I wake up grateful that I'm breathin first
Cause dudes'll kill you, they don't need a reason first!
These ***** still hit em
They know the hood is too poor to hire CSI, and Gil Grissom

Ol School Mouse - Joe Budden

Not been in the blogging mood lately to be honest. Life's happening and I'm not really in a blogging zone.

But yesterday a 15 year old was gunned down in the halls of his high school here in the T.Dot and folks keep asking me what my thoughts are. I usually wait until all the info is in to process whats going on but this time I'll just shoot (bad but not intentional pun) without all the details so here goes.

On the one hand I wouldn't say that I was shocked that this occurred because black youth have been getting killed in Toronto at what to me is a ridiculous rate in the last couple of years but on the other hand I really feel for the loved ones of this lost one.

Cranky is surprised that no one saw anything or has come forward yet. Me not so much. The don't snitch, see n blind hear n deaf attitude is prevalent in Toronto as much as it is anywhere else in North America if not more much to my chagrin. Or maybe its just an atmosphere of fear where you keep quiet because there is threat of retaliation. I really cant say as I don't move in those circles. Whatever it is its a shame however you look at it.

From my perspective the story is also quite scary. Yes its really scary that this happened in a schools hallways and all but its also scary for another reason.

I used to worry about becoming a statistic a lot when I was a bit younger now I'm more afraid for my son. Yea he's still a baby but dammit if I ain't already fearful for his future. I mean its bad enough in my opinion raising black kids especially sons in this society where they are undermined, looked on as thugs, and told they aren't good enough at every turn but now you got to deal with the possibility that at some point they could just get randomly killed because well just because. And don't give me the its a ghetto thing argument cause that's not true because there are black families from all socio-economic strata in this community dealing with these issues and fears.

My wife thinks I'm joking but I'm giving the issue of packing up and leaving this place some serious thoughts. Yea shit like this could happen anywhere you go but that don't mean you need to accept it, stay put and court danger.

Sometimes the public assumes that these kids and young men must be guilty of some crime somehow and that's why they got killed. I tend to think that many of them are innocents or kids who just got caught up in the wrong place at the wrong time or who were killed for some trivial argument that really shouldn't have gone past a raised voice.

They are now saying that he may have been killed over some firework prank he pulled the previous day. You have got to be kidding me.

Its messed up out there man.

Anyway when Jane Creba got killed there was crazy outrage and demands for change. Lets see what happens here. Rest in peace Jordan.

Send in the Clones!

I think I need a clone. Is just a temporary thing, just need him for one day. June 2nd. Why?

You know every now and then one day comes up where its like you getting invited to a million and one events? Well June 2nd is one of those days for me. Birthday party, Birthday party Housewarming, get-together, this that and the third. And is free food at all a dem too ya know so that make it even worse. The thing is and this is what always happens. You always get that one day that's like that and then some weekends when ya home bored and nothing to do not a thing at all going on. Its a cruel trick I say, a conspiracy by my friends.

Anyways barring the sudden invention of Star Trek like Transporter technology I cant mek everybody bashment so I say if ya want me to attend send me some advanced food samples or at the very least a potential menu so I can make a proper decision regarding who will be graced with my attendance.

Respond React

So on the sporting front one of the bigger stories this week was Robert Horry's hard foul of Steve Nash in game 4 of the NBA Western Conference Semi-finals Spurs vs Suns game.

Horry for his part received a 2 game suspension for the hit while Sun's players Amare Stoudamire and Boris Diaw received automatic one game suspensions for leaving the Sun's bench during the incident.

Now I actually happen to like Robert 'Big Shot Bob' Horry. Been a fan since he was in Houston winning championships in the early 90s. In fact I like him so much that I even supported him when he was a Laker and anyone who knows me well knows I've been hating on the Lakers since back in the Kareem and Magic days. But having said that it was a cheap foul on his part. He got caught up in the game and it was unnecessary. I'm a still support him after he comes back from the suspension though.

Anyway the aftermath of the incident highlights what for a long time has been in my opinion one of the dumbest rules anywhere. I mentioned it in passing early last year in another post regarding another silly NBA rule but this one is worse. Its the rule which caused Amare and Boris Diaw to be suspended for a game just for getting up from the bench. It states something like if there is an incident and you're not on the court you cant leave the bench or step so much as one foot on the court or you get an automatic suspension. Its been pretty much enforced rigorously by the league since its inception (which may or may not have been following the Heat, Knicks incident back in the 90s when Van Gundy was hanging on to Alonzo Morning's leg for dear life during an altercation).

This rule is just plain stupid and neglects to take into account any sort of normal human behavior. The NBA wants its players to play with passion but just as quickly turn off that joie de vivre when they step off the court.

Instinct says that if you see your fellow player pushed or shoved to the floor on court at the very least your first move will be to stand up and take a step towards the incident. This doesn't mean you're going out there to bust heads or escalate the issue it just means you're human and your concern for another individual, that you know, has made you want to go help them. We wouldn't be human without that instinct.

So for the league to have no tolerance and enforce this rule with such an iron fist tells me that they don't really think of their players as human beings. They are just product.

The NBA has tonnes of rules regarding players, their behaviour and appearance etc. Some I agree with, others I think are too strict since we are dealing with grown men here not children but this one is the worse.

Mr Stern I know you don't want to have melees on your hand like what occurred in Detroit in 2005 but at the same time you need to acknowledge that just getting up off the bench and moving towards an incident in a highly charged basketball game should not be a punishable offense or at the very least you need to be subjective and not follow this rule to the letter of the law in every single case.

This ruling in this specific game could have some serious ramifications for the outcome of the series as you left Phoenix short handed last night and they lost. It just wasn't fair.

That said I'm still backing King Tim and the Spurs over the Sun.

Samson

So been trying to do the father thing for a while now. Whole bunch of repetitive teaching and saying No like 30,000 times per day but the yout now has about 5 or 6 words down including the words yellow (Who says pointing out every single yellow school bus on the road every morning for the past six weeks doesn't pay off)and duck.

Been doing a lot of reading to him as well as part of the whole teaching thing. I read pretty much anything that's at hand, newspaper sports page, sports illustrated, Newsweek, children's books, Bible. Also been forcing him to watch Jeopardy with me in the evenings before bed. Let me tell you I was pretty disappointed that his first words were not communicated in the form of question. He loss points from me for that.

Bought a pretty cool children's Bible when I was in Barbados at Christmas (the one's we saw here just weren't that great plus they were mega expensive) so we read that daily trying to do one story per week. Realized at some point though that some of their interpretations were a bit off on a couple of stories (just slightly off but off nevertheless) though so I'm going to have to vet everything before we read it. Cant be giving the chile wrong information and messing up his head so early although his mother did point out that I was wearing a yellow hat today when clearly the color of the hat was more a deep gold verging on orange. See what I duz have to work with? The woman undermining my hard work!

Plus she always finding fault. "How you gine read the chile de stories and ain't got nuh sound effects?" Sound effects? Chupse! Ya feel I name synthesizer? Or ya think I look like C-3P0? (In case you don't get it line remember the scene in Return of the Jedi when C-3P0 is bringing the Ewoks up-to-date with the story.)

Anyway I ignore she!

So today we reach the story of Samson. Allya remember that one? Strong man, mess with the wrong woman, haircut, brought down the roof yada yada yada. I trying the sound effects thing too. Explosions like c-4 at ya door and Jet Li kung fu liks sharing fa real!

Reach the end of the story and the wife say and do you know the moral of the story? And with a straight face I say "yes it is don't mess with the wrong women cause them will mess up ya life and doan trust no women cause dem duz try to get you to expose all ya secrets and then try to use them against ya.

She gine look at me vex vex and say "no Jdid the moral is 'Jah will never give the power to a baldhead.' "

Lawd ave mercy I think this chile doomed wid two a we fa parents.

Happy Mothers day

To all you bloggers and other mothers who check in here. You are all much appreciated by your children. Hope you all have a great day.

Filler

Too busy to post anything decent so here goes some filler:

Follow these steps [in order of course]

1 . Go to www.google.com

2 . Click on maps

3 . Click on get directions

4 . Go from " Toronto, Ontario " to "paris, france "

5 . Scroll down in the directions to number 26

6 . Laugh and then re-post this ASAP so other people can enjoy

donde están mis pantalones!!

or what you do wid my trousers man?

Saw this in passing on the news. A dry cleaner lost this guys pants and he's suing them for 65 Million dollars.

65 million dollar pants? What kind of pants are those? I could only imagine that he was one of dem foolish rapper fellows that spend way all he money on bling!

The first thing my wife asked me when I told her this story was "Wait he had a winning lotto ticket in de back pocket or wha?" Well boy I cant answer that but all I know is that de man is a judge, Judge Roy Pearson Jr, and he suing a particular dry cleaner in DC for $65 Million cause they lost a pair of his suit pants.

What got me though is how the man justify the dollar total. He arguing $500,000 for emotional distress, $542,500 for legal fees and $1500 a day per violation of consumer protection law for 1200 days times 12 violations per day times 3 defendants. Wait let me check that quick, quick 3x12=36, 36*1200=43,200, 432,00 * 1500 =64,800,000 add in the $1042,500 (legal fees + emotional damage) + $15,000 for the car he say he had to rent to go to another dry cleaners and that gives a grand total of ............. $65,857,500.

Well at least he on point with the mathematics.

But seriously though, how crazy is this? I mean I know people in America duz sue for everything under the sun but did this guy take it too far?

Sure the dry cleaners lost his pants but the suit only cost about $1000. How do you really really justify going from saying they owe you a new suit to they owe you 65 million?

And the suit about the suit pants got the dry cleaner people all distraught saying that they thinking of going back to South Korea. Cuhdear!

Well boy I can only wait to hear how this lawsuit turn out. Cause if he win you know that opens the flood gates to all sort of other suits. Business places going to have you signing all sort of legal waivers in triplicate before you can do laundry or dry cleaning or even buy a hamburger. Well well well! Plus ya know dry cleaning going up. No more $1.25 shirts and 2 dollar pants deal. Nuh uh!

Oh well, the man is a judge so I assume he has some idea what to sue for and what not to sue for. I still feel he gone too far even if the dry cleaners take so long to settle with him in the first place. What he going to do with that settlement if he win? You know how much pants that money can buy?

Ipod Generation

I came across this story on yahoo the last week. Its about some schools banning kid from having Ipods in class and in exams. Now to be honest I don't even see why this is a story. My generation wasn't allowed to sit in class listening to Walkmans why does this generation get the opportunity to use Ipods in class?

Its just like the cell phone debate I blogged about a few months back. Why is allowing kids to have Ipods in class even an issue? Make them leave them in their bags and if you see any trace of Ipods or headphones in class confiscate the items or send the kid to the principal. How difficult is that? After a few lose their mp3 players they would get the drift.

But the part of the yahoo story that got me was this section "Kelsey Nelson, a 17-year-old senior at the school, said she used to listen to music after completing her tests — something she can no longer do since the ban."

What? You can listen to music after completing tests? Since when schools had that option? Look schools are for learning not listening to music unless its music class. If you got a test and you finish early ya best be looking over your answers not pulling out no iPod to listen to music.

Boy is things like this that make me feel so much older than I already am. Listen to music in class after test! Unheard of in my generation. Look when we finished a test and had time left over we would look at the answers a second time or if you didn't feel like you would sit and daydream, use ya imagination that you were somewhere else or doddle on the page. What happened to doodling, drawing that sort of stuff? You could imagine back in the day me sitting in a test situation, finish the test and pull out a LL Cool J or some Milli Vanilli (what! they were cool until we realized they weren't)? Why the teacher would think that my head bad or I gone mad and I would be heading straight for the principals office.

Too much slackness in schools these days man. I always have to reiterate this statement just because the technology is there doesn't mean it has to be in the classroom or that kids have to stay connected 24-7 or cant be bored for a few minutes before the end of a test. Geez no wonder so much attention deficit disorder stuff affecting the children these days.

Its Iraqi road

So they sending Prince Harry to serve in Iraq!

OK from a certain perspective I just don't understand this. OK sure he's doing military duty and they want to send him to complete his service and all but couldn't they find something safer for him to do?

I mean don't get me wrong I'm not condoning special treatment for him because he's British royalty I'm condoning it because you're sending him to Iraq with a special bullseye on his back. I mean the eyes of those Iraqi militants and terrorist groups are probably lighting up at the thoughts of going after someone so high profile in their own country.

Why send him there? Its not like civilization as we know it now really looks at its leaders to be the generals in battle, the men on the frontline, the ones in the thick of the fighting. This isn't the world of the Hannibal or Leonidas anymore. No one says you cant lead because you haven't killed someone or haven't been on the frontlines. Sure you get some props for that but in other lights its seen as reckless or you're labelled a warmonger. And really how much props do you get nowadays for fighting in a war? It doesn't even translate into decent political currency. I mean if McCain couldn't beat Bush to a Republican nomination or Kerry couldn't beat him in an actual election who are we really fooling that battle experience counts for anything?

And don't get me wrong I really could care less about the Royals. I just think its silly knowing that the guy will be targeted more than the average soldier to send him down there. Sure his uncle fought in the Falklands war and British royals have fought in other episodes around the world but cant you let him sit this one out. Find him a desk job.

Is the upside to him going so great? Is it worth the risk? What does it prove? Him serving still doesn't mean he's one of the common folks. He's still going to get special treatment there and back here anyways. So whats the point? We all know he's different or rather is treated different.

Just let him stay behind or ease him into an auxiliary position instead of trying to put on a show that yes he too can fight for his country blah blah blah.

Plus you are possibly putting his regiment in bigger danger than it would be in without him there. Think on that!

His going proves nothing and if he goes gets targeted and so happens to get injured or worse well whats gained? Not a thing. So I say just be transparent with the preferential treatment, let him stay home and get it over with and save him and also his regiment from getting targeted.

OK but another side of me thinks yes it is preferential treatment and I cant really justify sending Tom the butcher's boy down there and letting Harry slide on this one, although certain politicians have done it before. But then from the perspective I'm arguing from I just see Harry as a kid who will be targeted more than the other kids and think is that really fair to him? If it was someone else and I felt they would be targeted disproportionally higher than the other soldiers I'd say keep them at home too.

Baa who knows, I ain't spending alot of time thinking about it.

business ettiquette?

Question?

If someone sends you a really snarky email and you check their query and realize that they are in the wrong cause they are clueless are you allowed to finish your email response with "now piss off and stop confusing me this bright blessed day" or should you just settle for liberally sprinkling the words 'ya pieca idiot', 'ya ol johnny', 'ya blasted ass' or "wait you aint got nuh friggin common sense or wha nuh?" all over the response.

Age aint nothing but a number

I little late with this one but figure I might as well cause it still seems to have some life left in it.

By now most of you have heard about the Akon controversy with him grinding on some 14 year old girl at a show he did in Trinidad. I first heard of it via Mad Bull and that was a week or so ago.

Anyway turns out the girl was the daughter of some local pastor and there has been a big uproar about the incident. In brief this is what happened; she at the Akon show, Akon called for girls to come on stage and dance with him in some contest with the winner getting a trip to Africa which never materialized, she went up/was pulled up/was carried up depends on who you talk to and Akon put a serious grind on her lifting her up and throwing her all around the stage. He throw in some big money wine on she or as we would say in Barbados "Akon do de dog! He wuk up pun she stink stink stink den!"

Now I am not saying Akon knew she was 14 and given Akon's lyrics I would hope it wasn't no all ages show he was putting on so he probably thought she was legit but still now it's a big controversy with people cussingAkon claiming he molest she, the gal crying about how she friends push she on stage and she didn't know what was going to happen and even the Trinidad Prime Minister calling for investigation and all sorta big baccanal.

Alright so those are the facts, this is my take.

First off I ain't know about y'all but I grow up hearing a generalisation that Pastor's children are wild and do all sorts of things to rebel against their parents and personally I know a few to be honest that prove that that saying wasn't a complete falsehood. So my personal bias is to believe that this young girl ain't as innocent as she trying to claim after the fact. I don't know she though so I cant say for certain. Maybe she was just young and misguided.

Secondly, I see some pictures of the girl at the club and she ain't look no 14. She look like she well in she 20s with all she body expose, big navel ring and tattoo. For sureAkon probably didn't have a clue. Mind you that's not a valid excuse under the law, nuff fellas get lock up using that same excuse. It doesn't excuse his actions but at the same time I don't think that he willfully went after a 14 year old girl. Now that brings up another issue. Was what he did to her on thedancefloor sexual assault because of the actual actions or just because of the actions in relation to a 14 year old? Cause if its sexual assault in general to get on like thatnuff entertainers better beware.

Thirdly I don't know the girl's mind state. Some 14 year olds real mature some pretty childish. Maybe she is telling the truth that she had no idea that the man would be bouncing her all around the stage like a rag doll. Maybe she thought he was inviting her up for a spelling bee or that they would instead engage in a rousing duet of "Nearer my God to thee' I cant say for certain. What is known is that the girl is embarrassed and ashamed. Is that because of Akon's actions or because everybody saw the video and she is a church girl?

And Fourth and finally. Wait sorry two more points. Fourth damn you Akon now they claiming your rnb stylings are hip hop and using this as another lets scapegoat hip hop moment. Your style ain't even original son, I liked you way better the first time you came asWycleff Jean. And don't tell me you haven't noticed that Don't Matter sounds like it was ripped straight out the Cleff's songbook.

Ok and Fifth and finally as I had initially said on Mad Bulls blog after first viewing the video "I’ve always found the Caribbean had a double standard towards north American artists that's not applied to soca artists though." I stand by that statement. The call girls onto the stage for danceoffs, to grind on artists routine has been done ad infinitum by Caribbean artists for years with all levels of debauchery going on on the stage and I aint heard a peep from no Prime Ministers so why the drama now? And don't feel it's cause the girl is 14, I'm sure some of those girls I see on stage at certainsoca shows round Caribana, wining back, pouching back, wukking up bad cant be any older. Pure double standard dat!

The way I see it, she made a mistake, she wasn't supposed to be at the show or at least not on stage, maybe she was a bit shocked by the dance movements thatAkon put on her and even more surprised once it hit Youtube, her father found out, they complaining now about Akon.

Yes he takes blame for the slackness in his show and maybe he shouldn't be flinging around ANY women like that and ladies y'all shouldn't allow yourselves to be onstage doing that stuff either but that's not what this is about. Maybe he should have known she was underage but honestly don't just pick him out to throw the book at while other artists do the same thing and no one complains. f you're going to throw the book at the so called hip hop artist start flinging it seriously at some of them sameTrini and other kaisomen that does be simulating sex on stage during their shows.

That is all I have to say on that.

Looo-oooo-ser

Jdid ya pieca poppit!

Sigh! Some days you have it, others you don't.

Yesterday for instance I clearly didn't have it.

As I was leaving home yesterday I noticed what I thought was a suspicious character across the street. Now my street's pretty quiet most days so someone just standing across the road just loitering smoking a cigarette and drinking a Tims sorts of stands out.

So I kind of lingered a bit by my side door trying to get a bearing on this guy. Hmmm big white guy, 45-50-ish, wearing an old red hoodie with a belly that would give Santa a run for his money and a full Grizzly Adams type beard. He seemed a bit fidgety turning around often like he didn't want anyone to get a bead on his features. Hmmm looks kinda bummy. We don't see those types in my hood too often. Yea we usually get the lawless screw faced kids, the moms walking their baby filled strollers and the mini-van exiting parents taking short cuts to school. So yea dude stood out like ummm a black guy in China. Yea that's it!

So 5 minutes, of fiddling with keys and making myself even more tardy for work, later I hit on a novel idea. Let me run back inside and take a little clandestine photo of this guy since I can see him directly from my front windows.

So I do just that. Had the blinds semi-closed and zoomed in but didn't use a flash. I got ya. Clear as day! Evidence son don't you dare try anything while I'm gone.

Alrighty! Mission completed!

So I left home, giving one more glance at the lurker while feeling mighty snug, smiling warmly inside, knowing that I had photos of him just in case he was some sort of criminal trying to stick me for my paper or break and enter while I was absent. Ha! Let that be a lesson to you Mr criminal I have your number and crime does not pay!

Until........

Halfway to work I realized I had made one really crucial mistake. Jdid ya ol eediat! Ya tek a picture of de man but ya leff de blasted camera home on de table. Chupse! Ya miss de point ya clown! What good are the photos if the man tief the camera? Oh yea those photos are going to be really helpful. That man musse barely laffin at you and saying I ain't look half bad in dese pictures. chupse!

Jdid, ya just not ready yet. Eediat!

Oh well at least I was being paranoid and luckily nothing happened while I was gone.

Coming of age

Chris Bosh and the Raptors came of age tonight with the game 2 win over New Jersey. They really had to grind out this game. Welcome to real playoff basketball guys.

I get the feeling Sam Mitchell's been reading my blog cause the team seemed to address most of the concerns I addressed in my last post. Mo Pete got some playing time instead of Joey Graham, TJ played at the death and we took better care of the ball and stayed within striking range all game.

Oh and big up to Sam Mitchell for winning NBA coach of the year. Last year the guy was voted the coach most players didn't want to play for in an unscientific poll done by Sports Illustrated so what a difference a year makes. Mind you I still think he has a ways to go to match up to the elite coaches in the league but his team did win20 more games than last year.

So Game 3 on Friday. What's the advice? Well Sam in case you're reading here goes.

- Keep on doing what you're doing but lets get Bosh to take it inside more.
- Lets get back to Raptors basketball with more passing.
- Don't give up on Graham just yet. His confidence seems to go in streaks. If he can get going again he's definitely an asset.
- Bargnani is a bit out of it bring him along slowly. Tell him he needs to up his intensity too.

Raptors Nets game 1

As a follow up to the last post I'll give you my thoughts on game 1.

The Raptors lost and deserved to lose. They just didn't play well enough. They do have the talent to compete I believe but they just messed up on this one.

Where did they go wrong? Let us count the ways:

- No one could stop Richard Jefferson. So much was focused on stopping Vince and Jason Kidd that somehow Jefferson was able to get easy baskets early in the game on his way to a 28 point night.

- Chris Bosh got early fouls and we lost him for much of the first half. Also Bosh settled for jumpers for much of the game. Bosh needs to go inside a lot more. Lets face it he still had 22 points but if he was going inside getting to the foul line more he would have had a greater impact on the game.

- The Raptors shot free throws atrociously. OK maybe not atrociously but 7 missed free throws in a game that you lose by 5 has got to hurt.

- Sam Mitchell as I sort of suspected didn't have a good coaching game. Biggest mistake of the night, in my opinion, was leaving TJ Ford on the bench in the dying minutes of the game. Yes I know that Calderone was playing quite well at the time but at the death without question TJ has to be the man on the floor. TJ had already imposed his will on the game and kept us in it almost sinlge handedly in the first half so sitting him at the death was a big mistake.

- Joey Graham was a bit overawed in his first playoff game. Don't get me wrong Graham is possibly my favorite Raptor right now but given that he has just started getting constant minutes when Bargnani and Garbajosa went down about 10 games back it was a bit too much to ask for him to be consistent today. First quarter he seemed to play pretty well but then in the second half he started making mistakes and I think he dwelt on them a bit and they started to escalate. How deep is Mo Pete in Mitchell's doghouse that he only got 7 minutes the entire game? I think at some point Graham should have been benched fora few minutes and Mo played a bit more. I expect Joey to improve as the series goes on but today his minutes needed to be cut down.

- Turnovers hurt us. 14 turnovers is not typical of the Raptors. They are usually good at taking care of the ball. Again could be playoff jitters.

- The Nets bench outplayed ours. The Toronto bench has been one of its strengths this season but with Garbajosa out through injury and Bargnani still rusty after being out some time our bench didn't contribute the way it usually does. Humpries brought his energy and was probably the biggest positive for me in this game but besides him our bench wasn't up to par. On the other hand the Nets bench played quite well.

- The Raptors dug themselves into a hole or many holes throughout the game. In the playoffs where every possession counts 10 point leads are usually hard to overcome. It may work in the regular season where you can put together big runs but against a veteran team like New Jersey the best bet is to stay close and not continually have to be pulling oneself out of a hole.

- We need to play tighter defense and get more rebounding. Probably the main reason we wont go far this playoff season. Both Phoenix and Dallas learned about the necessity of defense in past seasons so maybe we'll learn this year.

Vinsanity

I needed to get my thoughts down on paper for this one.

In a few hours the Toronto Raptors play the New Jersey Nets in the first round of the NBA playoffs. First playoff run for the Raptors since 2002 I believe, and joy of joy we have home court advantage this round.

Should be an interesting match up as the Raptors can claim the better all around team but new Jersey can claim a heap more playoff experience. I've been thought that playoff experience counts for quite a bit in this game so although I'm a Raptors fan I'm a bit pessimistic about their chances of getting out of the first round.

Would have been more optimistic if they had ended up playing Washington. Even before Agent Zero and Caron Butler went down I fancied our chances against those guys but alas it wasn't meant to be as the Wizards (always resisting the urge to call them the Bullets) slipped down the stretch to drop from third spot all the way to 7th.

That meant as third seed we got New Jersey. Its being hyped up as the match up of Vince Carter vs Toronto. Now lets be honest I'm not a big Vince Carter fan. I respect the skill when he's actually focused but in the pantheon of NBA stars who have pissed off Toronto and Raptors fans Vince reigns supreme. And by the way in case you're wondering who else is part of that group it includes Tracy Mcgrady, Damon Stoudamire, Alonzo Mourning, Antonio Davis and Kenny Anderson, and in case you forgot Kenny Anderson refused to report here from Portland after being traded for Damon somewhere back in 97 or 98.

However I think way too much is being made of Vince's return to play us here where it all started for him as 'Air Canada'.

The cover of one of our local newspapers yesterday actually featured him portrayed as a big baby.

Why I ask why must we continue to give this cat fuel to actually show up for a game? Why must we continue to hype this Vince vs Toronto feud? Yea Vince let us down when he phoned in his performances during his last years here as he attempted to orchestrate his own trade and yes Vince has always been seen around these parts as a whiny superstar, lacking in heart and unable to embrace his leadership role with the Raptors club but stop giving the man fuel to come back and prove something to us.

Yes I know its hard to forget and forgive but I'm not asking that. I'm just saying, the booing at the ACC and the media articles are just not needed now. Just keep your disdain on the low. He knows you don't like him just ignore him and see how he plays. Hyping him up for this match up can only prove detrimental to our cause as the cat can heat up and drop 40 on us in an effort to silence the criticisms.

Oh well! With regards to the actual match up as it stands I think ignoring playoff experience we stack up pretty well against the Nets. We definitely have the deeper bench and our front court is stronger but I cant count out the influence the trio of Carter, Kidd and Jefferson will have on the game. The key is going to be to contain those guys.

Also should be noted that Jersey played some of its better games down the stretch while the Raptors kind of faded as they tried to adjust to quite a few injuries. That being said guys like Kris Humphries and Joey Graham really stepped up their game in the absence of Jorge Garbajosa and Andrea Bargnani.

It should also be interesting to see what coach Sam Mitchell has up his sleeve. Adjustments become quite important after game 1 and I'm still wondering what Sam can pull out to keep the guys in a position to win this series.

Game one will be important. My keys to winning this series are

• Adjusting to playoff basketball
  
• Containing the New Jersey trio
• Rebounding
• Coaching adjustments
• The return of Bargnani
• The play of Kris Humphries

Not going to stick my neck out on a Raptors win but I'll be in front of my tv supporting them. That means no interruptions hint hint. Go Raptors!

On another note, oh happy day, the dark lord Sauron is dead! A new but not necessarily immediately better day is dawning.

Home grown Terror

"You had a hundred billion chances and a way to have avoided today,"
Mass Murderer Cho Sueng-Hui

I want to blog about some other stuff but this Virginia Tech thing is still on my mind. I'm not looking for answers and I haven't actually watched the extended coverage on TV which I think is overkill to an extent but still as the details come to light I've just got to speak some more on this issue.

For one to my U.S friends just accept it the man is American. Stop harping on him being South Korean. He came to the U.S as a kid. If someone comes to the U.S as a kid and does great things like develop a cure for some disease or wins an Olympic medal his heritage and birth country are brushed over and he is called American. So to me if someone comes to the US and does something horrible I think the same should hold too. Leave out the double standard. Accept him as an American, even though he wasn't a citizen. He had been in the country 15 years, he spent his formative years there, did his schooling there. He's one of yours.

Stop giving him the Ben Johnson treatment. Oh not sure what that is? That's when you go from one day being feted as a Canadian Olympic medal winner to the next day being tarred and feathered as a Jamaican drug cheat.

Another detail that stuck out to me as details come to hand was that Cho mailed his raving manifesto to NBC between killings. All I can say is dammmmmn! Admit it if this wasn't so real and horrific and was like some Bruce Willis or Arnold movie we'd all be talking about this like it was cool. I mean how cold do you have to be to stop a bloody rampage and go to the post office, line up and send a package? That is just dread! And I mean that word dread however you wish to interpret it.

Oh and will someone step up and blame something other than our usual scapegoat hip hop music here (thank God they haven't mentioned it yet) cause I mean come on take a look at the photos he sent in the manifesto. You know that kid had to be influenced by popular entertainment. The man pose off with his guns like he was a movie star. Of course knowing hip hop's present luck we'll ignore violent movies and video games and someone will find a copy of Biggie's Ready to Die in his crib or 50 Cents DVD Get Rich or Die Trying (an absolutely dreadful movie by the way). Yea I'm just waiting.

You know its going to happen.

The other thing that caught my attention as the details were released was this interview with the owner of the gun shop where Cho bought his guns. The gun stop owner claims that this atrocity occurred not because gun controls are too loose as most have asserted but in fact due to the opposite. He thinks if gun controls were looser then this wouldn't have occurred. He said they need to allow students and staff members to bring their guns on campus at Virginia Tech.

Now off the bat I said to myself wha kinda eediat ting that? This man head musse bad! Oh you want looser gun controls than the ones that allowed a mentally disturbed kid to buy two guns and kill 32 people? You want guns in classrooms so that students can shoot teachers over grades? Way to go ya pieca poppit! Yea that was my initial thought.

But then this morning my wife agreed with my stance and since that rarely happens in my household I went back and thought some more about the gun owners statements. The man is simply taking a classic Cold War stance. If we have weapons and they have weapons they wont attack because they know we can strike back and do damage. Interesting philosophy isn't it. The US and Russia used it for years, Pakistan and India are still using it. It works sort of. You just live with a heightened sense of fear.

Mind you that philosophy assumes that we're dealing with sane, logical persons not persons who have flipped and gone stark raving mad like Cho. So umm no that theory wont stop these types of incidents. It only works if the aggressive party is afraid to die and since Cho and others like him are quite ready to take their own lives its not a deterrent

Of course I really find the American fascination with guns quite unique and also rather interesting and troubling at the same time. The right to bear arms (and I'm not talking about wearing short sleeve shirts) is tantamount to sacred in the U.S. I mean, and this isn't an original thought here, Americans are willing to accept losses of civil liberties supposedly to combat terrorism and they do this with little furor but let anyone talk about taking away someone's guns and lines get drawn for a Civil war. I'm of the opinion that the American government would have greater success passing a law asking U.S men to each give up one testicle than passing a law strengthening gun control.

Random & Senseless

Dont push me cause I'm close to the edge
I'm trying not to lose my head
The message - Grand Master Flash


My condolences to the folk at Virginia Tech.

The thing is Universities and schools are always the types of low security spots where these types of persons can act out. Universities usually attempt to make themselves part of a community and make themselves highly accessibly to the wider public. These traits are taken advantage of. Whats the solution? Higher Education behind steel gates and barbed wire?

And everyone waits to hear the who's and whys. Eyewitnesses and Experts will weigh in with their thoughts daily. What went wrong, who's to blame. Why'd he choose those folks to act out against? What was his beef? Was he bullied, or crushed or lovesick?

Thing is none of that really matters to the victims' families. It wont bring back not a single one of them.

And yes watching and listening to all this debate probably makes us feel safer thinking we can maybe predict this behaviour in the future, profile possible candidates for mass outrage and yes those that don't learn from their history are doomed to repeat it but .......

When all is said and done what do we learn from these acts. They are random and senseless. How do you profile and protect against random and senseless?

Maybe we will have this profile that these acts are carried out by loners, pissed at life, people who have been shunned or bullied or rejected because they are different or depressed. But does that actually change anything anywhere? Random and Senseless. No two cases are exactly alike because no two individuals are exactly alike. Lots of us are upset and depressed and bullied and felling rejected and haven't resorted with such actions. How do you judge who's going to be the one amongst millions who finally snaps. Everyone handles stress differently. Everyone can bear a different amount of stress before snapping. How do you judge what will push them over the edge.

Human nature wont allow us to sit back and do nothing. You cant just say oh stuff happens and to do so would in fact be irresponsible but lets just realize that the answers we get from the investigations and such here really don't change a whole lot when you think about it.

Like I said they don't bring back anyone. Sad but true. To the deceased all we really can say is rest in peace and hope that their loved ones can be comforted in this time of tragedy.

What rhymes with Imus?

Ok I'm late with my thoughts plus I'm not sure if I can be coherent on this Don Imus thing so here I go in point form.

- I'm waiting for the first hip hop freestyle where the rapper references Don Imus. I had a few ideas myself but I'll hold off.

- Regardless of all the outrage and protests and CNN interviews done by the black 'leaders' and those who speak for Black America one must realize that the market was the deciding factor in Imus's firing. Advertisers decided they were pulling out so Imus got fired. Its that simple! Our so called 'leaders' could have thumped and harangued till the cows came home and ain't a damn thing would have changed without the market making a move. Just realize that.

- Has this issue been overblown? Has Imus been given more status than he deserves? Some say yes some say no. I say he was a public figure and should have known better. Also I think his excuses for using that language are pretty lame. Don't expect me to believe you didn't realize it was offensive. You're not a johnny come lately or an unintelligent man. Maybe you made a mistake but don't blame it on someone else's speech. Also if I was a black woman I would be royally pissed about this.

- Hip hop the ever present scapegoat can I defend it (sigh)? Yes and no. I think the language and topics in hip hop need to be addressed. The music has lost its way. The music is non-sense nowadays. On the other hand is it a case of popular culture reflecting life or life reflecting popular culture? Who was using this type of language first and if hip hop stops using it will it stop on the streets? Not likely I say but at the same time I think one must realize the symbiosis between the streets and hip hop. And no hip hip isn't jail culture as one commentator on CNN said. Hip hop influences the streets and the streets influence hip hop. We can argue sometimes rightfully and quite successfully that hip hop is getting a bad rep and that it isn't to blame here or for all of the black community's ills as some commentators would like us to believe but at the same time it is an influential medium and needs to take responsibility. Its complicated in this case the more hip hop has embraced this language the more it makes it cool and hip. Rappers need to understand that and yes sadly they are role models and kids look up to them.

- Still regarding the last point while I realize hip hop's influence and responsibility I believe there are more factors to be blamed here so why is hip hop always the official scapegoat? Shut down hip hop and this stuff will still happen.

- I am kind of tired of white folks when they make mistakes regarding race trying to fall behind the shield of but some of my best friends are black or look at what I've done for the black community. That ish is tired and played! Man up to your mistakes.

- Found the Michael Ray Richardson incident to be a bit like this Imus thing except he was fired almost immediately after the incident came to light. Still I don't know I'm a bit biased here but calling someone crafty ain't exactly the same thing as calling them a ho. That's just my opinion. I guess he didn't have the hip hop scapegoat to blame for his indiscretion unless he claimed he got it from a Beastie Boys record.

- Do we take race and insults amongst our own too lightly in the black community? Possibly. Is it a double standard? Some say yes. But is the black community the only ones with a double standard? Nope! So what does that teach us? Just because a member of your race can get away with saying it doesn't mean that someone from another race can do the same or "Whats good for goose ain't necessarily good for the gander" and this holds for black folks talking about other races as well.

- Should Imus' comments have been taken with a grain of salt, was he just going for laughs like a Comic View comedian? Again context and the person making the comment are very important. Imus should never have gone there.

- What happens next? Imus has been fired, he's apologized, CNN has had their story of the week. Where do we go from here? Will something change. Will we realize its bigger than Hip Hop! Or will everything remain the status quo until the next Michael Richards or Imus pops off with something silly?

Trying to stick me for my paper

Episode 1 - Last week after a light lunch at work I was feeling hungry again around 330 so I decided to visit the coffee and bagel place across the street for a snack.

As I walk in, doing a quick perusal of their available fare I heard a small voice arise from my side. 'Spare some change?' Quickly sized up the guy, possibly homeless or not, who asked the question. I usually only give change to a distinct few cause most of these cats are con men and in a few hours can make more than you or me. Anyway maybe it was because I was hungry or I just need to do a good deed for the day or something but I dipped into my pocket and came up with about 75 cents which I gave to the guy.

(Rule #1 for me of giving change is never ever bring out the wallet and search so they see your bills. Have loose change in your pocket and just grab whatever comes to hand. If you have no loose change in your pocket well too bad they ain't getting nothing.)

Anyway I give the guy the 75 cents and he then looks at me and asks me if I can give him five dollars.

Five who? You mekkin sport!! Since when is five dollars change? Five dollars is lunch money, five dollars is a burger king special plus change, five dollars is at least 3 coco bread and pattys, pizza and a drink, five dollars is way more than I intended to spend on my bagel and cream cheese. Why should I give you 5 dollars when I only plan on spending $2.25? If you wanted $5 in the first place you should have asked for it don't ask me for change and then ask for $5 dollars. And what happened to asking someone else for a dollar and another person for 50 cents till you got your five dollars. Do I have mark or sucka or poppit or eediat written on forehead? Chupse!

Looka gimme back my 75 cents if you cant appreciate it!

Episode (2) Again sometime last week. Got home around 7, puttered around trying to figure out my dinner options when the door bell rings. Lawd ave mercy! Unwarranted door bell ringing in my neighbourhood in the evening usually means some guy from the Energy company or Rogers home phone is coming to try and solicit me to sign up for some package I don't want. I'll try to be polite and send him away but then the eediat will insist that I show him my light bill or heating bill or something with my private info that I don't want to share and get upset when I say no. These people are slowly trying to turn me into the stereotypical belligerent, angry black man with their stupidity. Lawd help muh nuh!

Anyway alas it wasn't a corporate rep about to piss me off. Instead it was a nice decent looking young lady high school age I'm guessing. OK I guess they raising funds for some school. What's she selling now Candy covered Almonds, Girl Scout Cookies? Lemma see if I can spare 5 or 6 dollars to help a cause and no $5 still ain't change.

Oh wait nope it isn't the usual fare, this young lady is selling energy efficient light bulbs and all sorts of home supply packages. OK novel idea.

Alright so how much them cost? $29.95!

29 who? I'm sorry you cant just come to my door and expect me to have $29.95 ready to give you unless you delivering food that I order. What happened to $2 sponsored walks or climbing the CN tower for $5 or something cheap. Since when is $29.95 the cheapest option for helping out a school cause?

Raptors win Raptors win

Raptors win!

Who would have thought that after a 2-8 start to the season the Toronto Raptors would win the NBA's Atlantic division? Way to go Raptors! Congratulations! Big up! Respect!

What can I say! I doubted that the Raptors would be any good this season. Yea they made moves in the off-season but I thought way too many moves. I mean how does a team with 9 new players, including a bunch who had never played NBA ball, coming in win? Guys have to become comfortable with their roles, they have to learn to trust each other, they have to bond as a team so I figured any improvement this year would just be a step towards actually competing next year.

I thought yea that Bargnani draft pick is a definite bust and why trade Charlie Villenueva for TJ Ford. Well what do you know Coangelo's moves seemed to have worked well for us this year. Actually only bad move he has made so far seems to be picking up Fred Jones in the off-season and he managed to trade him away for Juan Dixon who has fit in quite nicely with the team in the second half.

So yea we did compete this year. Who would have thought?

Ok well yea the Atlantic division is bar none the worse division in professional basketball and there were a couple of nights where we actually led the division while still having a record that was under .500. But still look at us now 44 wins and 33 loses (including tonight's victory over the Bulls), 10 games over 500, a guaranteed playoff spot and right now the fourth best record in the Leastern ummm Eastern conference.

Pretty nice turn around for a team that only won 27 games last season.

Still I cant say I'm an ultra fan like Chuck and Leo who bring the play by play or like a few of my friends are. I like the team, even though I'll admit that they've screwed up my love of the NBA since I seem to watch very few non-Raptor games these days.

I wont pretend like I think they have more than a passing shot of making it past round one of the playoffs either unless they somehow end up playing a hobbling Washington Wizards team cause I just see too many deficiencies despite their record and improvement this year. I still say they are still too green for the playoffs and their lack of a consistent inside game and rebounding will hurt when the rough and tumble playoffs start. But who knows, I've been wrong before maybe they'll surprise me again.

All I can say now though is they've done the city proud even if when they won the division they were still only the second biggest sports story here, the biggest being the Maple Leafs having to play the Habs to keep their NHL playoff hopes alive. Got to love this city its definitely a hockey town. But hockey town or not got to give props to the Raps. Good looking out guys. Bosh, Ford,Parker, Graham and the boys thanks for making us proud of Toronto basketball once more.

All about the Ben(jamins)

Caught this link from over at the War on Folly and was inspired.

Raheem sees his homie Conroy on the street.

R: Yo son whats up?

C: Everyting cris my yout! A wha gwan?

You heard the latest?

Latest? Wha latest?

Well streets is talking son. They say that apparently Uncle Ben is getting a makeover to become Chairman Ben.

Uncle Ben? Uncle Ben? Oh ya mean dat cantankerous ol man dat de yout one Peter Parker live by?

No son! Not Peter Parker's Uncle Ben. That cat caught a bad one back in Spider Man one. Straight car jacked son, wasnt wearing a vest and pow pow two shots to his chest and it was over. Where you been man? It was all over the streets.

Blouse n Skirt!

Naa son Uncle Ben from around the way. You know bow tie rocking cat been down with Rice since like day one.

Oh! Cha man! That Uncle Ben dat same one? Star a why ya neva say Bow tie Uncle Ben nuh man? Is Ben Slim we call 'im down de block cause de man always wid dat slim grained par-boiled business. Yea star me kno who ya mean! Chairman? Chairman? Well look how man get big! Cha! Nuff respect to de man den seen! Yes I!

(Chairman Ben comes around the corner on his Blackberry. Gives the brothers a pound)

What up Ben. (head nods and exchange of pounds)

Respect star!

Look at you all rice kingpin, cereal mogul and all that good stuff. Still representing the Nation (of Islam) by rocking the Farakkhan bowtie though! The suits Armani now right? True true. Yea son show em how we do! You done came up!

Yes Ben star you run tings tings no run you! A business man a run nuh inna but nor because (everyone joins in singing) my girl wan wear victoria secret drawers!

Driva! lawd ave mercy. ha ha ha

But on the real Ben, way to show the little man that with a little perseverance and just 60 long hard years of doing whatever it is you did; butlering, chauffering, shoe shining, cooking whatever it was that you did that we too can move up to the top rung of the ladder.

Is how ya mean? Like George n Weezy?

Yea son see thats what I'm talking about dog! Like George and Weezy. Moving on up to a deeee-lux apartment in the sky son! Word! (brothers slap five, Ben's still on his blackberry)

Yea. knawhatimean thats whats wrong with today's youth. Dont want to start at the bottom like ol Ben here did. Claim it takes too long to move up. Well he sure showed em all. Dem 60 years of hard work paid off. Yea son!

Wha ya a say Ben? Ya 'ave Diddy and Russell on speed dial? Bumbacl.....

You the man now Ben. Oh whats that? No more Ben? Its Benjamin now? Dammmmm! Yea well its about time Benjamin. Look at you living up to that potential an ish. Yea son its all about the Benjamins now fa sure!

(Leaning over Ben's crackberry) Star a dat de latest phone dey ya ave? Blackberry? Bloodfire! (leaning in closer) But wait cha man, yo see say the man 'ave text message from de one Halle Berry. (snapping fingers in the air) All de hot gal dem a rush di man! Yes star you a de dan! Respect to de maximum!

Yea man! You like my inspiration dog! Word to mutha! Dreams do come through! See this man here, right here (pointing to the still silent Benjamin). He's like the kingpin of the whole rice industry.

Ya naa touch im! 'im a de Pablo Escobar of de grain world my yout!

But ya kno Mr Chairman sar, everytime mi see you, you a remind mi of my great uncle dat dead a few year back. Mi cann remember him name. But 'im face did favor you and dat man cud cook some serious rice n peas ya kno. Serious chef work 'im a do. delicious, tasty itals de man a cook up, rest in peace.

Yea ok but um yea ummm.

What? You put in 20 Mil alone on the website and advertising? Yo fa real? Get outta here! Naa fa real? 20 Mil? Word! Yo son I checked that site. Yo that site is off the hizzy. That was some money well spent. No doubt!

A 20 million dollars ya say? American currency? Is joke ya a mek right?

Yea son 20 million American currency! greenbacks, dead presidents son, Jacksons and Grants and Washingtons and all that other good stuff! Kwahmean??

Bloodfyah!

Yea son there's alot of cheddar in that there Rice game.

Cheese and Rice? Cheese n Rice? Yo star that doan soun too nice to eat ya kno. I man nuh want nun a dat.

No man! I mean cheddar son, the dinero, the duckets. Cash rules everything around me, the cream, the cheddar.

Oh seen! The money dat ya a talk bout. yes I. But so see me a say Mr Chairman Benjamin. Ya ave any place in a de company fi a hardworking enterprising yout man like de I cause I man a tired a di hustling an bustling on de street dem. Mi a enterprising yout an just want a likkle piece a legit work where I man can progress and advance and move up the corporate ladder. seen!

Yo fa real! You got space for me too cause I wants to be down with that legal rice money. I mean fa real like you my inspiration, my muse, my man, my dog. I respects your hustle.

A car pulls up. Chairman Ben starts to walks away.

Yo chek out the wicked car star! Chairman yes is you definetly a run things. A wha dat? 350? 550? Bway even dem rapper dem like Jay-Z nuh ave no criss car like that.

Yo but I'm saying Chairman Benjamin. I'm sayin, yo hook a brother up. Its hard out here on the streets. Come on man. I need me some of that rice money.

Yes chairman. Doan faget de small man seen! I ave de recipies man, nuff recipie dem from long time gwan dat my ol granny a gi mi. Rice n peas, peas n rice, pelau, plain rice, splt peas rice, black eye pea rice, green pea rice. Is nuttin but pure rice knowledge I man a bring ta de table ya kno! I can even give you a copy of my resume on rice paper!

At least give a brother a business card or something so we can stay in touch cause you my role model man. My inspiration fa real! 60 years in the game and running things. Word!

Chairman Benjamin gives them a business card, gets in his car and leaves.

Stay up on your grind homie! Fight the power!

Run tings rude bway!

Yo that Ben cat is iight! I'm saying dog he's like my inspiration, my muse, my...

Yea man, me 'ear all dat chat aready, de man gone ya kno an we already ave 'im business card. cha! chupse!

But I'm saying dog, that cat right there ........


(Seriously though you've got to check the Uncle Bens site its like a virtual tour of his office and whoever designed it seriously needs a medal or something cause they put in some work.)

rasta & dope

(Since we were talking about rastas last post.)

Ya don't 'ave fi dread to be rasta
Morgan Heritage

I cant say with absolute certainty but I truly believe that Morgan Heritage stole that line from my parents.

My parents are old time West Indian folk who have an inbred distrust of those with locs or those who claim they are rasta. In their eyes anyone with dreads or their hair even slightly loc'ed is a rasta. And by rasta they mean someone devious, head intoxicated from illegal drugs and up to no good. Actually anyone who deviates from the norm could be a rasta in their sight.

Head in locks you are definitely shady. Must be some criminal element in your background probably a by product of all the dope we know you smoke. Oh you don't smoke dope? If not then why ya notting up ya good hair for? You don't know that combs still stirring and barbers and hairdressers still looking for business?

No you must be doing something wrong to have your hair in such a predicament.

And less I make it seem as if there was no basis for their judgement I'll just say that their beliefs were forged by some of the crazy good for nothing so called rastas and others with locs who they have come into contact with in the past. Seems like many of the the lawless criminal elements used to knot up their hair, smoke weed and claim Jah.

But their description of rasta now extends past anyone with dreads. Consider the following conversation I had at home this Christmas.

Mom: Yes he get vex wid dem ever since Judy marry and he din get invite.
Me: Oh who she marry, the same fella she had from evasince?
Mom: yes the said same rasta fella.
Me: rasta fella? I din know he was a rasta?
Mom: Well he don't wear any locs but he is a rasta. He duz smoke dope.

So anyone who smokes weed or any other illegal drug from crack to heroine which my parents all categorize as 'dope' is automatically a rasta in my parents books regardless of dreads or not.

I can just imagine the conversations they must have had after Hillary Beckles' son killed that boy down at Mona over weed.

"Chupse! See all a dem turn to this rasta foolishness and let the dope lead dem astray. Look at he doah! Good boy come from decent family and now look how he embarrass he mudda an fadda. Is the foolish dope and rasta igrance dat dem gettin in dem head. De dope ain't nuh good fa dum at all!"

And God forbid you are a vegetarian. What not eat meat?

Mom: Yes and she like she is a pieca rasta now play she dont eat meat
Me: Oh you mean she is a vegetarian?
Mom: Yes she is a pieca vegetarian rasta. She musse duz smoke de dope too.

Sigh!