Caribana feva

Caribana in the air and I duz have to laff.

No, I not laffin at the Americun touristes like last year. And to be honest boy I wasnt really laffin nuh laff, just making an observation about dem so doan feel nuh way. How I cud laff at mi Americun friends when is 80% of mi blog visitors from de states. Ya feel I is a eediat? Not I, I not biting the hand that feed me.

Watch all my Caribbean and Canadian people get offended now cuhdear I just joking. Love off all wunnah bad like cook food.

No, what I laffin bout is how the Caribana fever duz ketch everybody. Is like how the spirit duz tek hold a ya in some of dem churches where the people start to speak in tongues and jump bout in the aisles and duz have lil children holin on to dem mudda saying "mummy but is wha wrong wid dat woman? she like she gone mad or something eh he."

Well actually I lie Caribana fever is not really like that but still it duz be a fever and it duz be ketching quick quick by some people.

Make no mistake though. A lot a we doan ketch it, ya must realize dat but what duz be really surprising and laff-able to me is who duz ketch it. If ya ketch me drift.

Cause a lot a we Torontonians from the islands dont ketch it at all. We duz be like:

yea yea yeah Caribana again, I gine to the cottage boy
down the Lakeshore, in this sun, pun foolish TTC uh huh yea you look fa me.
Me, not me, I aint going nowhere to get shoot this year ?
How come the fetes so expensive?
Wha time the police gine shut down big people fete and get people vex,
A wonder what controversy they going have this year?
how many floats ya feel going mek it on the road this time before the police shut de gates
I remember when it used to be on University. Dat used to be good, not like now.
Is how come Caribana duz always dont have money and mek we look so bad year after year begging the Province fa funds? Dem Caribana people too tief-fy!
Boy dem Caribana events expensive nuh lie. I aint paying no 25 dollar to watch nuh poo poo pan playing nor nuh 40 dollar fa King and Queen an dem costume dont be even say nuttin? Is mad ya mad?
Me go down Lakeshore? I going Crop Over instead or I waiting til de parkway Labor day or I gine down Miami carnival. boy dat duz be too sweet.
how come them playing tunes from February carnival and Crop Over last year? Wha happen Crop Over music from Crop-Over this year cant reach here? Dem waiting on steam boat to bring the tunes? Man this is internet era, download man download. we should have plenty plenty new crop over tunes by now. Chupse.
Caribana chupse ya lie boy ribfest cant miss me this year! (that would be me)
Boy dem Trinidad people too confuse I aint want nuttin to do wid dat Caribana ting
Dat duz be we the island people in Toronto when Caribana come...well unless ya under 25 or ya looking fa woman or ya from Trinidad and then well you love off Caribana and every event it have can't miss you. (See I can make fun of the Trinis cause nun a dem dont read mi blog.)

But anyways like I said I laffin at how the fever duz ketch when Caribana week reach. Ad who duz ketch the feva if not the majority of we island people in Toronto?

Well boy that is a very good question and that is what is so funny.

Come Caribana week every lil store suddenly got in a Jamaican and Trini flag. Men dat would follow ya round their store the whole year and give ya dirty looks if ya come in to buy a bottle of water or a pack a gum suddenly got Caribana themed t-shirts in their window and two thousand island flags and hats and belts and rags and banadana and head band and wrist band and musse even underwear and anything wid a Vincy, Lucian, Grenadian, Trini, Bajan, Jamaican, Guyanaese, Dominican, or anybody else in the Caribbean colors item on their shelves and at the doors. And see dem there smiling, standing at the door, grinning, telling you come in and browse.

See cud only be some sort a sickness amm I mean fever mek dem fellas so change. So yes I duz laff my head off when I walk around downtown come Caribana time and watch dem people so change colors and try to mek money off we when I know how things duz be the rest a de year.

Me not me I stanning home an listening me 2008 Crop Over tune, 2007 long gone Toronto dj's. Dem fellas cant mek no money off me. But I will continue to watch and laff.

ps: Dont tell nuhbody but I feel one of them Vincy girls in dat Photo is mi sistren Kami. shhhhh dont tell nobody I say dat.

A lot to be said

Guyana Girl said typings difficult. Couldnt agree more right now but lets see if I remember anything about poetry. ok freestyle this


There’s a lot to be said
But saying things don’t make things better
A lot in my head
But some thoughts they need an editor
A lot on my plate
But that don’t mean my plate is full
A lot of that stuff
Boils down to simple bull
A lot on my mind but no one asks cause no ones curious
Just grieve and move on
Times wasting, actions spurious
Makes me furious
Or should but then don’t have the strength for anger
Don’t have the strength for laughter
Don’t have the strength for chatter
Don’t have the ….....It don’t matter
When we spiral in that viral
Twisting turning funnel
Wish then that we could pummel
A path, a royal rumble
Through this rubble, mumble, stumble
But I speak in strange tongues so translated sounds grumble, grumble
All a jumble in this jungle over running the ruins
So I fumble while I tumble really don’t know what I’m doing
Worth pursuing is nothing
No point this, not poignant
its pointless, no point gets
made, words disappoint its
a lesson in nonsense
full of sound & fury
told by a fool
who's melancholy and moody
there's a lot to be said
but maybe silence's better than something
a lot in my head
but signifying nothing

oh yea now i remember why I gave up poetry. yuck!

People

Now I'm not a people person by any stretch of the imagination. I just am not. Prefer my solitude way too much for that.

Still I recognize the value of communication and of being able to reach out to your fellow man and pass on information, converse or just lend an ear without being an idiot about it. To be honest it really is something they should teach in schools cause so many people don't have a clue how to do this.

Yes some people have no idea how to successfully communicate with others without pissing them off. Lack of people skills you can say. Maybe its that they didn't learn, maybe they are just too set in their ways to change, sometimes sadly its a cultural thing but something as simple as communicating a small problem or concern can get blown up into some huge confrontation if you're not careful.

Hmmm maybe its fear.

Yesterday I was offended. Someone had something to say to me about a matter but the round about way they approached it really pissed me off. Now as much as I wanted to scream on them I remained calm and didn't respond with an "are you a complete ass?" comment cause ya know next thing I would be labelled an angry black man but still.

I mean I appreciated their concern, emphatized with it even but approach and presentation can make a world of difference when you're trying to get some info across to someone else. It was as simple a situation as a hey Jdid I noticed and you might not have noticed but blah blah blah
to which I would have listened and responded with a well thank you for letting me know and I'll see what I can do about that.

But instead it became a whole lotta long talk, a whole round the world thing where one reason was given for the conversation but the main reason for the conversation was hidden and then it was brought out in such a way that it seemed either I was being shown up or the person didn't believe that I would believe what they were saying.

This isn't the first time though. The culprit has done similar with their little passive aggressive speeches before. I take it all in stride but yesterday I was truly offended with way I was approached. Still am to be honest.

Still I chalk it up to one of those we're afraid of speaking our mind to the big black dude incidences. Either that or the person is a complete jackass.

Free Marion!

Cuhdear man. Ya know I used to like Marion Jones bad bad bad when she was competing. Tall, slim, athletic plus she was fairly good looking and man oh man was she fast. What was there not to like?

Then the bubble burst. Bruggadown! Steroid usage, give back medals, give back prize money, pariah, jail time. Cuhdear.

Well you make ya bed ya got to lie in it the old people would say but still.

Now she's in jail not because she use steroids mind you but because she lied about it. I feel fa she young kids and family.

So the other day I read that she write one letter to President Bush hoping he would commute her sentence. She's been in jail since March or February anyways so yea why not. Its a long shot cause hundreds if not thousands of people apply for a Presidential pardon so chances slim anyways.

But now I read that the president of the US track and field write a letter to Bush saying no dont even think about commuting her sentence. She must be made an example of.

Ya see me. I think that is utter nonsense on his part. The woman aint kill nuhbody. She aint pelt a big rock and lik in nuhbody head, she aint stab nuhbody, she aint shoot nuhbody wid big bazooka, ak-47s and klashnikoffs, she aint rob no bank, she aint steal nuh old woman purse, she aint kidnap nuhbody childrens, she aint do nuttin so. So why you would tell Bush to not even think about commuting the sentence?

Just be quiet and let the man decide fa he self if she worthy of commuting the sentence or not nuh. Chances are he wouldnt commute it anyways but you din have to open ya mout.

Look how many big hardback men do(ing) steroids and get(ting) away scotch free? And you want to set an example with this poor girl. Cuhdear man dat is harsh.

You think her being in jail makes any difference though? Give me a break!

Sometimes these people duz really get caught up in this thing. Its sports. She cheated and she lied. Disqualify her, take back the medals, embarrass her, cast her from the bosom of the athletic Cherubims and Seraphims that you feel must exist even but cuhdear ya mean the man cant even think bout commuting she jail sentence?

Plus its not like she get lock up for doing the actual steroids , she get lock up for perjury aka lying. Wha when it come to lying Bush should be able to emphasise wid dat shouldnt he?

Yes we can

Breaking News just coming to hand to the staff of Doan Mind Me. Remember we get the news here first so always stay tuned.

Democratic nominee and Presidential hopefully Barack Hussain Obama having sustained some flack over the past couple of weeks is now the subject of a US $1.7 Billion lawsuit filed in federal court today.

The plaintiff none other than popular cartoon celebrity Bob The Builder whose occupation has been listed as construction contractor. In the suit filed today, Bob and his lawyers are suing Mr Obama and his campaign for misappropriating Bob's catch phrase "Yes we can" stating that the phrase is copyrighted by Bob and his construction company and that Mr. Obama has taken it without permission, using it extensively and illegally in his campaign slogans, speeches, buttons, shirts and other paraphernalia.

The suit also claims that Bob has suffered extensive grief, damages and financial misfortune due to the misappropriation of the phrase with some of Bob's erstwhile clients, mainly Republican farmer types, believing that Bob was openly endorsing Mr. Obama's campaign by allowing the use of the phrase, deserting Bob's business. They claim Obama's campaign would be the death of them all and stood to put the average farmer out of business.

Due to this belief Bob has lost a sizable chunk of his business and his once formidable empire has actually in recent weeks been close to bankruptcy with mainstays Dizzy the concrete mixer and Lofty the crane staging a wildcat walkout over bouncing cheques just two weeks ago and JJ of JJ's Parts Emporium refusing to allow Bob further credit at his parts depot. Meanwhile partner and possible love interest Wendy has conspicuously moved her trailer off the lot and down to the other end of town. None were available for comment to this Jdid reporter.

Obama representatives dismiss the suit saying that one of Bob's main clients, Farmer Pickles, a known Republican contributor and superdelegate was behind the whole controversy. Pickles who openly backs the GOP and harbored political aspirations is known to have run for Mayor of Bobsville in 2000 and for a vacant senate seat on the Republican ticket two years later losing in a controversial recount which saw the votes from Bob's machines disallowed once and for all.

Pickles himself is definitely is quite the polemic character. No stranger to controversy he was in fact again embroiled in contentious situations twice last year. Once when acting on a tip off believed to be given by informer Spud the scarecrow INS representatives raided his farm searching for undocumented workers, none were found. Again just three months ago Pickles' prize pig Humpty disappeared mysteriously the day before the Johnson family cookout setting in stage a county wide expensive pig hunt including the use of police helicopters and tracking dogs. No signs of Humpty were ever found. Said Nate Johnson aka Cedric the Entertainer "I don't know nuttin about no Humpty Dumpty but dem ribs from that pig that we "found" up on the road there sure was good. oooh weee! Aint that right Lil Bow Wow?"

After numerous attempts our Jdid reporter finally got a chance to speak to Bob a few minutes ago. "I've got nothing against that Muslim fella Mr Obama" said Bob who curiously refuses to give his last name for the record "but I just don't want him using my catch phrase. He's got the kiddies confused and unless he settles this suit and refrains fro using my catch phrase I'm going to use my considerable influence with the 2-5 year olds to ensure he doesn't win this election. oh and Wendy come back I miss you something awesome fierce."

Other mainstream media have focused on Jesse "The nutcracker" Jackson's recent comments on Obama and the controversial New Yorker Magazine cover portraying Obama as a Muslim and his wife as a black revolutionary complete with urban hairstyle.

This story threatens to be bigger than both those and the Rev Wright story if you ask us.

Speaking to other Obama representatives, in Queens New York today, off the record they said Bob's case doesn't have a leg to stand on and Bob's just trying to get his 15 minutes of fame. "If anyone had the right to be upset and suing it should have been Q-Tip and Phife! Dats words to big bird son!" For the uninitiated Q-Tip and Phife were part of a defunct hip hop group called A Tribe called Quest whose 1990 underground hit Can I kick it? made use of the phrase "yes we can" prominently.

We at Doan Mind Me await the fallout from this suit but it brings to mind another suit filed by another then unknown cartoon character back in 1996 against presidential hopeful Bob Dole for misappropriating his moniker Sponge Bob Square Pants. We all know how that one turned out. Sponge Bob is now a cartoon icon and Bob Dole well lets say he's seen better days.

Reporting live from Doan Mind me this is intrepid reporter Jdid getting down to the facts and saying Doan Mind me I duz talk nuff foolishness.

Airline meals

Remember one time we used to laff at those people who walked on the airplane with big set a food in their carry on?

Look at dem people though! Walking around with big, big, heavy bag of roti and rice n peas and meat and whatsnot. They aint have no culture or class though? They dont know the plane duz provide meals included in ya fare? Man duh mek muh shame!

Secretly I think we were jealous though. How dare them people come on the plane with the mouth watering, sweet smelling food. Their home cooked meal vs we with what the airplane people tried to pass off as a proper meal which was usually some mis-identified thing in a plastic plate that they claim is chicken or beef somebody or the other and we sitting there wondering if one of them CSI fellas could do a few tests to confirm if it is what de air hostess say it is before we eat any of it.

Yea boy those were the days. Free drinks and chips and peanuts and thing so too. Well not free cause it was in the price of the ticket but is free cause ya din have to pull out nuh extra money out ya pocket and well ya already pay for it so might as well eat it and enjoy amm I mean experience it.

Not so anymore is it? Now its every manjack bring his own food or pay an arm and a leg for a dry up sandwich on Air Canada and some of them other planes (i believe you still get food provided on transatlantic flights by the British carriers).

Is cheaper to buy at the airport or bring in if ya allowed than spending 6 or 7 dollars on the plane for something that should only cost about $2.50 when it was fresh 5 hours ago.

So now everybody walking with food in dey bag or hand. Even at the airport in Barbados, I went to buy food to eat there in the departure lounge and the fellas wrap it up nice and special like I was taking it on the plane. Dey catering to we needs.

Is a new day boy, new day, new things. Cant laff at nobody carrying food onto the plane no more. Rather they can laff at you.

Wait you aint bring nuh food on this flight and had to buy a 6 dollar dry up sandwich on the plane? whaaaaa, ha ha ha. Boy wha wrong wid you? You aint have no class or culture or common sense? You dont know ya duz pay extra for the plane food? Man ya mek muh shame!

Food

Food is food is food!

Don't you hate it when a restaurant that has in the past had reliably good quality tasty food suddenly isn't so good anymore?

I mean I wouldn't say I'm extremely picky with restaurants, I'll give most spots a try at least once as long as they look clean and the menu appeals to me. Its the getting me to go back there thing that will be an issue cause if you aint up to par I don't see why I should go back and spend my hard earned money with you.

And with that mindframe it means that aside from experimenting to find new spots that could be good there are very few spots that get my repeat business.

So its sad when one of them has to get cut from my list. Could be a number of things. Cooks change, menu change, size of meal change, price gone up and value for buck just aint what it used to be. But the one that really gets me is when the meal quality changes for the worse.

Woe is me

Today I had a roti from a place that I haven't been to frequently in the past few years but I always thought was one of the better roti places downtown. Dismal! I think its the fact that the staff changed and the old time roti makers aint around no more, instead replaced by cooks that clearly dont know how to make proper roti.

Shame shame shame

Welcome back

I'm back. Didnt go straight back to work after I returned home. Took a few days off. Friday decided to go to the mall and whilst there I ended up in Walmart not one of my favorite stores cause its always crazy busy and I aint that big a crowd person.

Anyway as I'm walking through Walmart I end up in the shoe section for no apparent reason. Cutting down one aisle I see this old Indian man calling over to me. Being the ever friendly Jdid plus what can I say I'm a bit slower and disoriented these days all things being equal, I walked over. He was trying to separate a pair of shoes which were connected with a length of slim elastic like black cord. The knot was really tiny and he was trying to alternatively pick out the knot or pop it.

He handed me the shoes and asked for help. Me being my dotish self attempted to assist but my finger nails and fingers in general arent that good at knot picking and since I lost like 20pounds in the past month I too weak to be popping elastic cords. I try for a minute and nuttin a work so I handed back to the shoes to him, said sorry and made ready to step.

Man look at me an ask me for size 11s.

Thats when I clued in. He wasnt asking me to help him as a kind Samaritan walking through the aisles of Walmart he thought I actually worked there. Wha de so n so!

Is not like I was wearing Walmart colors either unless they start wearing black t-shirts with orange splashes on them.

Man I look pun the shelf pull off a pair a shoes plop them in he hand, chupse and walk off. After I left I assume he probably reported my horrible customer service to the manager.

ps: thanks to all you guys who sent condolences. much appreciated.

One day

said I had a close one yesterday
jah put an angel over me, be strong
hold a firm meditation
one day things must get better
don't you go down
keep your head above the water
say, one day things must get better, be strong
Close one yesterday - Buju Banton

We bonded.

Not friends not even really acquaintances but yet we bonded due to our similarly sad and tragic situation and the waiting.

Yes the waiting, the ever present waiting. Some of us had been here 1/2 hr, some more and still waiting with no explanation. A5, B3, C9 it didn't matter the same scenario played itself out
in the corridor in front of every ward in the Q.E.H almost every lunchtime and early evening but especially at lunchtime.

The official visiting hours were 12 - 1 but we knew we were lucky if we got in before 10 after most days. Quarter after was more likely and most time the delays were enacted with nary a sorry or beg ya pardon by the staff. Its just the way of things.

"I blame all of you. Its your fault!" said one Bajan Yankee man outside with the growing crowd waiting at the ward I was going to. "If you guys don't speak up this will always happen and they will continue to treat us like this." He said in an American accent before flipping into bajan
"Man, I juss cum to drop off someting and I gotta be back in St John by 12:30." Chupse! He fiddled with his watch which by now said 12:15. "You need to complain to the people in charge."

Some murmured in approval, others chupsed not at him but at the situation we were in. Others like me just continued to look at the worn tiles with random thoughts running through their heads.

Who me? Complain officially? Chupse! That gine do something doah ? Wha all that gine do is get my family victimize.

You do know victimization is a bajan tradition right? We aint invent it but we sure as hell perfect it boy. Doan let dem fool ya dat cricket is we national sport ya. Is victimization dat replace cricket long long time.

Wha I got sick family in hayso an de hoggish nurses doan treat dem suh well as is already, ya want dem ta kill my relatives now. Not me an de complaining bosie not me.

I just stood there deep in thought as the mumbles grew louder.

"Looka dat ward down deyso let in 10 minutes ago. Wha wrong wid dese wuns in hayso? Dem like dem playing de tail!" Another lady said as we sweat it out in the hospital corridor, tired from standing cause the bench in front of the ward door only sat 4 maximum and there were about 12 of us waiting.

"dey just cann do things to time and come 1 o' clock dey gine still play they wanta ring de bell too ya know."

That was true sometimes. Sometimes they made up the time lost others well it was mugs game guessing what would happen on which day.

And so we waited.

Two minutes later the door finally opened. A neatly attired nurse walked out, said good afternoon and then closed the door again.

"wait wha happenin in deyso?"

"when dis gine open?"

"I don't know I doan work in dat ward" she said and sauntered away down the corridor, nuff chupses giving her a royal send off.

One minute later the door still closed and thoughts of rebellion creeping into our minds well my mind anyway. Thoughts of knocking down the door with my motley crew of relatives and friends, overpowering the nurses , dropping some hot liks in dey tail and taking over the ward. This is fa all wunna brutes that duz act so unmannerly to de patients! Tek dat wunah wretches! Whapax! Maybe the act of sedition would spread like wildfire from ward to ward until the floor maybe the whole hospital was over run by the fed up family members and finally liberated and secured.

Then what? ummmm. Got to think this through before I make a move.

My thoughts were interrupted as one of the nurses pushed the door slightly ajar.

"Sorry for the delay today, medical emergency." Door closed again.

Well at least for once they gave us an explanation although it wasn't much of one. But then again I've come to expect this from my dealings with the hospital over the past two weeks. Doctors seem purposely vague. When asked for a diagnosis they name body parts.

"Well is the kidney" or "looks like its her heart" or "its his foot".

Yea well ok. But what exactly about the foot is it? Sorry but that's not a diagnosis in my opinion.
What about the foot wrong? Is a toenail want cutting? De foot swell, the arch collapse, ya got to cut off the foot? cause ya know if its one thing they like doing down deyso at the QEH is cutting off people foot quick quick.

Nail juk pun ya toe, foot cut off!
Foot swell up. foot cut off
toe nail want cleaning whoops foot chop off!

Suh much one foot people and no leg people bout the place it look like some sort a bajan civil war brek out like how in Africa ya see all them refugees missing body parts. But it aint no civil war is just Doctor Cutty and Nurse Choppy butchering de people appendages.

Anyway the announcement of a medical emergency send all we waiters into a deep funk. Who family was critical now? Cuhdear! I hope is not mine. Lemma say a prayer quick boy.

Door open again. "Is there family here for Victor Small?"An older lady in a nice cotton dress and a younger voluptuous woman in one of those push up bra too small, cleavage revealing tops that seem to be the in thing in Barbados who I had just been admiring looking nice in her black pants stepped forward.

"Wunnah here for Small? the nurse asked.
"Yes I am his wife and this is he graddaughta." said the older lady.

They were ushered quickly into the room.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't breathe a sigh of relief that it wasn't me that they had called in. I feel for their plight but I also feel for me too.

Time slowly clicked by and three minutes later they came back out looking even more morose than they went in. The older lady was trying to contain her emotions but the younger one couldn't stop crying.

"He gone?" Somebody asked?

No but he like he almost gone the older lady replied while the younger woman rested against a wall as her whole body heaved while she sobbed inconsolably.

Someone in the hallway said "Sit down nuh girl."
"Look gi she a scotch. let she sit down"

Another old lady moved from the bench but the girl stood attached to the wall with a handkerchief to her face, eyes red and cheeks puffy as the tears streamed.

"Sit down nuh"
'Try a sit down before ya fall down"

Some one went over and touched her arm and said something in her ear in an attempt to console her. She cried even more but still refused to sit down. The raw emotion on display had left us silent.

Two minutes later the door reopened. Both sides this time as an orderly pushed Mr Small out on a stretcher. They were taking him to ICU and so the grieving family followed while we all looked on silent, frozen where we were, emotion itching in our throats struggling to be let free.

They took him down the hall to the elevator I presume. And then they finally let us in to the ward. No other comment about the delay.

said I had close one yesterday
jah put an angel over me, be strong
hold a firm meditation
one day things must get better
don't you go down
keep your head above the water
say, one day things must get better, be strong


This one dedicated to pops who died today. I'll be gone for a bit. Rest in Peace. One!

happy fathers day

To all the men out there doing their thing. respect due!

I'll be back

but for now juss seccllllleee!

Be back in two or three weeks. Hold down the blogverse for me til then.

One
Jdid

Pretty ugly

Got permission for this one cause certain people will email me and say I unfairing my wife too much on this blog, especially after I posted this one last year. I'm still am absolutely certain she is trying to bump me off though but that is another story.

Anyway was watching the NBA playoffs the other night and the wife joined me for a few minutes. Conversation swayed towards the NBA and the relative beauty or lack of, of most of its stars.

So I asked my wife her thoughts on one particular player who will remain nameless for now and her response was

"Naa he too pretty. I dont like pretty men like he."

So now I'm sitting there laughing my head off cause I'm thinking well either one of two things. If I good looking then the wife dont like me and if she like me then I musse real ugly.

Its a no win situation. :-)

Foul ....and one

You've got to check out Brother Buck's cartoon.

For a person who claims she has so much more experience and is so much more ready to lead than her primary opponent, Hilary Clinton sure does put her foot in her mouth a lot.

“You know my husband did not wrap up the nomination in 1992 until he won the California primary somewhere in the middle of June, right?” she said. “We all remember Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in June in California.”

I don't know. I mean I sort of understand her point as Wyclef would say Anything can Happen right? Still to bring up the specter of assassination in a race against an opponent who was given secret service protection the earliest any candidate has ever been in the history of US elections has got to be one of the dumbest things you could possibly do.

It shows how desperate and frazzled Hillary really is in my opinion. The race for her is over, she's just shell shocked and refusing to let go of a claim she thought was her birthright.

I know earlier in the campaign I read that certain older black folks were afraid to vote for Obama cause they were afraid that they were putting him in harms way. I don't really subscribe to that logic but every time I see him giving one of those speeches I emotionally brace myself for the possibility that shots could ring out. I hope and pray they don't but as ya never know right. Got lots of folk out there who are not pleased that a black man is this close to the democratic nomination. Its just the reality.

Still you don't want to hear your opponent bringing up that possibility cause it almost seems like they are hoping that that is what happens. Actually its just a poor comment regardless of its intention. A silly silly comment.

Hillary we're tired of your excuses for staying in the race so long. You're just playing the spoiler now. It almost looks like you are trying to muddy the waters for your fellow democrat. But do what you feel to do. All I can say is both you and Bill showed a wicked and dirty side this election so we're taking back our first black president moniker.

Pink Caddy

She was driving a big mout car. Car mout suh big that is bout three minutes between when you first see the headlights and when you see the driver. A big, big, long pink cadillac!

I wonder how that car mout get suh big though? Must be like when as a chile and ya mudda tell ya doan push up ya mout or it will stan push up for good. Well this car musse push up it mout as a chile car and it just stick so cause the car mout long, long, long like an alligator wun.

Must be one of the first times I ever see one of them on the road too. I thought dem Cadillacs so was Hollywood cars? I didn't know people drove dem in real life. Color remind me of the suit Nas was wearing in the video for Street Dreams. Bright bright so!

So see she turning the corner as I walked through Kensington Market heading back to Spadina.

She? Well she was some hippy looking, notty dread locks want washing, white girl in a tank top dat could barely see over the dashboard properly. So see she turn the corner and driving down the road slow, slow, slow cause I guess if ya driving a pink cadillac its written in within the warranty and license that ya can only go suh fast or ya not doing justice to the vehicle.

As if driving something suh big and suh pink aint gettin' ya enough attention.

Anyways she moseying down the road, peep over the dashboard and notice that a few pigeons was in the road ahead of she. Bout five of them just deyso peck peck pecking away

Ya know what the foolish girl start doing? She start honking she horn. Pramp , Pramp, Pramp, Pramp, Pramp!

At first I thought there was traffic ahead a she dat I din see and she trying to honk at dem but no she honking at birds. chupse!

And she slow down to less than a crawl now and peeping over the dashboard past the car long mout trying to peep at the pigeons. But the pigeons ain't paying no real attention to the Pramp Pramp and she just disturbing the peace cause they still in the road picking at whatever invisible dust it is on the road that duz fascinate pigeons so and dem only backing off slightly when the big wheels of the long mout car get too close.

She couldn't be pramp pramping at me, the pigeons musse was thinking to themselves. She gotta recognize that we dont answer to nuh pramp, pramp, pramp. Maybe she cud get way wid talking to blackbirds or sparrows or wood doves like dat but ya gots to come correct when ya addressing we ...........

So all she doing is peeping and Pramp Pramping, adding to the usual noise pollution of the market instead a driving through the foolish pigeons.

I get a good view a she as I get closer cause she was only bothering my head wid de long lotta loud noise. pramp pramp pramp on the horn like the horn gine outta style. She getting on like she forget that dem is birds and they can fly away if and when they really they want.

She look like one a dem sorta hippy, duz smoke nuff weed, I love the earth and the animals are my brothers and sisters and I wouldn't so much as eat a chicken leg cause it would pain me to think that the one time I eat pieca de colonel's secret recipe I deprive a one legged chicken somewhere in need of a leg transplant of its one chance at lasting happiness types.

You ever meet dem yet? De wuns dat duz dread dem hair cause they feel that locks make them closer to mother earth somehow. Either that or they frighten fa a comb! All dum duz usually end up wid some big, ugly, hardback rasta man dat no decent respectable woman white , black, brown or green wud give the time of day to. Some musty want bathing fella wid a name like I-vexwidsociety or I-cantevenspellmynameproperly or I this that an de third. And next ting ya see two a dum walking de streets wid three or four hard headed pickneys running bout the place............

But anyways she deyso gine on bout the place wid de pramp pramp thing getting people tired enough a de long mout pink car and the pigeons barely egging she on backing back slow slow giving she their best we will move when we good and ready to move intimidatory looks and laughing at she cause they realize how they making she look like a real jackass.

Eventually someone shouted out "Just drive, they will move when they want to." That like that wake she out of she trance cause she look over at the sidewalk to see who had spoken. Was a fella from one a de stores moving some piece of furniture or shelf on the sidewalk. "Don't worry about them, Dem could fly ya kno!"

And it finally clicked with her so she moved on picking up pace again back to her slow I want you to look at me in this pink caddy pace.

As for the pigeons, to be honest to me dem aint worth wha paddy shot at. I think they survive but I couldn't be bothered to look back and see fa true.

Things I learned

last week.

One - I really don't feel like blogging these days.

Two - Burma ie Myanmar has a population of 47 million. I always thought it was pretty small place to be honest. I mean I don't think I've ever met a Burmese yet and this is Toronto where you meet everyone.

Three - There is a thin line between love and hate. Case in point, jilted girlfriend and family hires assassins to knock off ex boyfriend who was going to get married in India.

Four - Marlon Samuels is an idiot.

Five - I'm still hoping for a Spurs vs Pistons finals to drive David Stern to the madhouse.

New Flow

Recently I've seen a few articles (including this one) complaining about the change in programming on Flow 93.5 FM here in Toronto. From primarily an Urban station format, Flow has apparently morphed into a top 40 station and some folk here are up in arms.

I really don't see why all of the hoopla over Flow. I mean in my opinion we were all hoodwinked on this station from the inception anyways.

Back in the day, read 10 years ago, Toronto, gasp, didn't have its own homegrown urban station. Say it wasn't so? No it was so! We had WBLK straight out of Buffalo instead and the reception for that station was spotty at best. You could pick it up in Scarborough not so well downtown etc etc. Mind you BLK as it was known loved Toronto, after all they were getting paid off Toronto focused advertising, something like 60% of total revenue at the time I had heard. We in Toronto did have though and continue to have some excellent urban and black oriented programming on local college radio; CKLN, CIUT, CHRY.

Anyway at that point in came Mr Denham Jolly of Milestone Radio with his proposal to the CRTC for an urban, at that time read black, station and his complaints that the CRTC had kept turning him down (3 times actually) and how it was a shame that a major city like Toronto didn't have an urban station. Which it was by the way!

The urban, read black, public bought his argument and threw their support behind his cause and in 2000 Toronto and Mr Jolly finally got the CRTC to see the light and sometime early in 2001 Toronto had its own urban station. Flow 93.5 FM.

They started well. Grabbed up a bunch of local community radio personalities (Somebody send out an S.O.S for my man DJ X) to fill some slots and we the public thought it was on and popping. Finally!

Except that what should have been cause for real celebration wasn't really in my opinion. See the black community had thrown its support behind Mr Denham because most of us naively thought we would be getting the equivalent of the community radio shows on this new urban station but more of it. All day long, we had envisioned as opposed to those late night time slots that we had on the community radio. We were picturing 24-7 hip hop, rnb , calypso, reggae, jazz and programming speaking to the needs and desires of the urban read black populace.

Yea sure in the back of our minds we knew that BLK an urban station as well didn't do that but BLK wasn't that bad and we thought Flow being all based in Toronto would cater more to the needs of the unique mix that is Toronto's urban population.

What we got instead wasn't even sorry was nowhere near as good as BLK and is what I refer to as BET radio. The same 10 or 20 tunes played ad nauseam in slightly different sequences for the whole day. I personally still remember hearing John Legend's Used to love U about 5 times in a 40 min trip from downtown to Scarborough a few years back.

Oh don't get me wrong though we did get a few bones thrown our way to appease us. Our little calypso show on Sunday evenings and the occasional reggae (read nuff nuff nuff Sean Paul) and the late, late night real underground hip hop but prime time and the rest of the day for the most part was just like watching 106 & Park with a few exceptions, big up Starting From Scratch.

In my opinion the station never lived up to our expectations or desires. Of course maybe we were a bit too idealistic. Its cool to have that urban station but the majority of us who supported the application back in the day I'm pretty sure if you ask us 7 years later this is not what we expected or in some cases were led to believe the station would be like.

A so it go sometimes, the argument being that the format we envisioned wouldn't make the money required to run a successful business. Got to market the station and get a broader base and I guess playing the same 10 rnb and hip hop songs does that. Its all about that C.R.E.A.M still ain't it?

So no I don't see what folks are getting all upset about. It doesn't really matter if Flow starts playing Madonna and Britney now cause they let us down from the inception. This is not what we had in mind when late in the last millennium we talked excitedly about having an urban station or signed petitions to enhance Mr Jolly's claims. Flow used us and sold us out but we were naive and idealistic so its not totally their fault. After all what did we know about urban stations, it was all new ground for us. How were we to know that Urban radio meant the same playlist over and over until we actually think we like the tunes being played.

Still like I Said Top 40 or BET radio makes no damn difference to me. I don't listen anymore. Give me the community shows. Big up Worldwide, big up Masterplan, big up Mixtape Massacre, big up Morning Ride. Flow, new Flow who cares.

Heroes

(wrote most of this last year when Castro stepped down as leader of Cuba never posted it)

Elvis was a hero to most but he never meant
Fight the Power - Chuck D

Been thinking some random type thoughts lately. Was just on the bus last week or was it lounging around the house when something occurred to me. Actually I think I was thinking about music and my favorite mcs and how some people have elevated some of these guys to hero and icon status. Of course that got me thinking about Kris and this foolish Celebrity fat thing and I came to a conclusion.

You can only live on as a hero and icon in the hearts of the public if you die young. Well not only but it increases your chances by quite a bit. Think about it; Che Guevara, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, even Tupac , Biggie, Bob Marley. Why all those fellows have icon status? Yes they were great men to some extent but it also has a lot to do with them being cut down in their prime.

I not feeling to really go into a lot of detail hopefully but the point is its easier to lionize these
young dudes. These only the good die young, cut down in their prime , showing so much promise, with possibly great futures ahead of them types.

Why? 'Cause of the unfulfilled promise mostly. We think wow they achieved so much in so short a span what would they have achieved if they had lived longer? We imagine all sorts of lofty achievements all sorts of greatness ensuing from these cats and it is possible they would have become greater but I beg to differ.

I really think that its also possible that some of these fellows would have crashed and burned, fallen the bleep off. Would have become footnotes rather than the icons they are presently. Is possible n'est pas?

Think about it. If Martin Luther King had lived on, was alive today he would probably be as irrelevant as Jesse Jackson is. Actually Prof Dyson made a very good point at his speech two weeks ago when he said that King had become disliked before his death mainly because of his stance on Vietnam in 68. Its only that the media has crafted his image to reflect his 1963 I have a dream speech and thats the lasting image we have of the man today.

Bob Marley would have probably made some horrible album that everyone hated or tried to fuse reggae and grunge or something and we would be cussing him as a sellout or we might have just said boy your time has past and moved on to more relevant artists.

Same with Malcolm. To be honest I love Malcolm but at the end I see a man with very little in the way of a coherent ideology. In a sense death saved his legacy.

I know people not going to agree with me but thats just the way I see things. Che would have become fat and old like Castro and we might be thinking of him today as some throwback to the old ways not a revolutionary icon. Biggie could have been eclipsed by Jay Z, Pac might have ended up in jail again and could have become a crazy Mike Tyson like figure who didnt know to quit when he was ahead.

The point is dying early without fulfilling their dreams and goals really to me saved some of these guys. Not that they wouldn't have made further useful contributions just that at the end of the day odds are they might not have been placed on the pedestals we keep them on. Not that one can second guess history in a What-if manner but just consider the one's who lived
and how they turned out.

Plus who does the lionizing, the canonizing with these public icons? Is usually the young and the young usually idolize those like them or just older. Ok so Nelson Mandela is a bit of an anomaly in my argument but he spent a few decades in jail. Would he be as big if he had not been incarcerated through those years or would he have petered off into irrelevancy in our thoughts?

Transit Strike - the day after

I needed to talk about the transit strike some more.

On the subway this morning there was a pre-recorded message from the TTC thanking customers for their patience during the strike this past weekend. Found it a little annoying actually but I think they were afraid the public might resort to violence or something.

Actually you could tell that the bus drivers and subway guys seemed a bit sheepish today after the strike. Also a little fearful. There were all sorts of statements issued about not assaulting or abusing TTC staff and from a certain perspective it was kind of funny to see these mighty transit men who had just held the City at ransom quake in their boots as if Torontonians were going to dig out the torches and the pitchforks and drag a few of them from behind the wheels of their iron machines and give them a lynching. As if! (wait am I allowed to use that word lynching or will I get into trouble?)

It was also sort of like watching a kid that knows he has done wrong slink away in shame and wait on a punishment that he hopes isn't coming but can't really be upset if it does come cause he feels he might deserves it or in some way provoked it.

That's the way it seemed to me anyway. Don't worry though aside from the odd oddball I'm sure most folks will be as indifferent to their bus drivers as most Torontonians usually are.

The other thing I thought about was just how unfair a transit strike on the weekend is. Transit strikes in general target those that cant do better but its not that simple in a big city like Toronto. A lot if not most of the Torontonians who use transit have access to their own cars. It just happens to be more convenient to escape the gridlock and the $20 a day parking downtown or more environmentally friendly to take the bus or subway to work or school.

but then when you strike on a weekend .....

Well then you are basically just targeting the captive riders cause anyone who can do better doesn't use the service on the weekend with its lackadaisical schedule. You only use transit on the weekend if you really cant do any better otherwise you drive where you're going.

So by having a strike on the weekend the TTC really targeted, shift workers, the working and non-working poor, the disabled, those that couldn't do any better like those that make $10 dollars an hour and have no wheels and for who a taxi drive to work would be prohibitively expensive. These vulnerable folk are the types who suffered the most from the strike. The middle class, the rich well they probably didn't even notice its effect beside worrying as to whether it would be back to normal in time for Morning rush hour.

So this strike to me we just have a union just picking on the really vulnerable. That sucks.

Oh well just wanted to get that off my chest.

ps: as an aside blogger spell check keeps asking me if I want to change Torontonians to Trinidadians. Imagine that eh he!

Dear Mr Transit man

You is really a dirty, stinking so n so! you kno dat?

Now don't take that too personally but really you can't blame Torontonians if that is how we feel right now that you went on strike this weekend.

The thing is I aint really mad at you for striking that much. If you felt you couldn't accept the contract then by all means strike its your right. Its just that last week you promised that you would give us 48 hrs notice of a strike and then out of the blue we wake up Saturday morning and hear you was on strike from last night. No 48 hr notice, not even as much as two hours notice just sudden so out of the blue .... bram! bus and subway stop running. People left in the middle a de street like idiots looking for the next bus that ain't coming. Got them digging in their pocket for two coppers to mek taxi fare. Ya mean you couldn't even wait till after payday come to strike? What a ting!

It was also vexing because you weren't supposed to go on strike now. A settlement had been tentatively reached after a strike threat for last Monday. And even though some of the improvements and clauses on the settlement looked to the average man like you and the Transit Union had gotten away with murder and had most definitely gotten the best of the negotiations with the City and the TTC management we had breathed a collective sigh of relief that no strike would occur and all was well again cause yea gas prices shooting through the stratosphere at the moment and this is a City where about 20-25% of people rely on transit to get to work in the morning. So no bus, no train means more drama. Nuff people scrambling to get to work and the city looking confuse like misery move up.

So there we were thinking that all was fine and dandy. You had clauses that if any other transit workers in the whole province got more money than you then the City would renegotiate to keep you the highest paid in the area. That just goes to show how special and important we feel you is that you get that clause in there.

Ya get ya 100% sick leave pay and we was happy for ya. Man nobody din even cuss ya for all them drivers that working overtime and end up mekkin over $100,000 last year. Imagine that $100,000 from driving a bus? I gine let my mudda know that she mek me waste my blasted time wid all this stupid university schooling nonsense when I could have been learning to drive bus and make some real money. Chupse!

And you know what? You had sympathy too cause people was saying cuhdear is a stressful job and we respect that and if a bus driver get assault or hurt on the job why should he only get 80% of his pay while on sick leave? We empathized with your demand for the 100% which you got in the end. It only seemed fair to us.

And we were giving you props for saying you'd give us 48 hrs notice so we could make alternative plans be it slapping tar, bike, electric bike, Go-Train, taxi, car or stand home. We knew a strike would produce bachannal on the streets and we weren't looking forward to one but at least that was right decent of you to be giving us proper notice.

And now this!

Mr Transit man let me tell you now all good will towards you done. D.U.N done!

You had people out Friday night, Saturday morning trying to get home from a late shift or from a fete downtown stuck on the streets, waiting at bus stops far from home, and not a single train, bus or streetcar ain't run after midnight. Not me mind you! Wunnah ain't ketch me! I old, I duz be in my bed at 830 so I wasn't out on the road like some poor fellas waiting on the last bus to take them back to North York or Scarborough or Etobicoke. No sir not me!

But is the principal of the thing man. Cause first off we didn't know that you were even contemplating strike. Like I said tentative deal was reached last weekend and needed to be ratified and everyone breathed sigh of relief. Strike averted, people happy and looking at the makeup of the tentative deal we thought you were happy.

You met Friday and didn't ratify it. Cuhdear now what wrong with the deal? Ya trying to get blood out of a stone now. The City broke, the transit people never had no money in the first place, them raise bus fares umpteen times already in the last two years. What more ya want now? Look this is think line ya walking cause if you ask for too much it could backfire on everybody and I don't know what other driving jobs you going find out there where you going t make as much money as you currently making.

To me the move if the deal didn't get ratified by your members would have been to say we don't like that offer can we go back to the bargaining table or to at least give the people a day or two of warning that you will be going on strike. That would have been the decent thing to do. We might still have cussed you as ungrateful, greedy curs but still you shouldn't just stop the buses at midnight with no warning and leave people stranded so. That is a nasty move man. That show me you ain't got no broughupsy, know no common courtesy, no feeling for ya fellow man, nuh compassion, nuttin so.

I going to pray for all ya at church today though! Ask the Lord for now to hold off on the smiting wid de Thunder and Lightning that some a we feel ya rightly deserve!

Then you say you ain't give us the 48 hrs notice cause last weekend people cuss you when ya do that. Well boy if ya think people cuss ya when there was only a strike threat and you didn't actually go on strike imagine how much cussing you going to get when you are forced back to work Monday.

Did I also mention that ya decide to strike in the middle of the highest gas prices here ever. $1.21 a litre and rising! Chupse! Got me looking to get a used tricycle cheap and done wid car, bus, train and everything one time!

Anyway they going to legislate you back to work on Monday so I will see you then. Ya don't have to be frighten when ya see me Monday morning though. I ain't one of them fellas that going abuse you and cuss you for this debacle. I might even offer you a good morning (yes even though I don't speak on the train I will say morning to the bus driver) if my mind bid muh to but just remember that somewhere deep in my head even if I smiling I still thinking that all ya is dirty stinking so n sos to leff the people stranded so with no warning.

Ya use up all the good will we de people had for ya!

Lemma guhlong to church before ya mek me sin my soul more. I still going pray for you though.

Your Truly
Jdid



ps: just because I cuss ya here don't play ya driving past me tomorrow morning and don't pick me up ya kno!

You talking to me?

"Good Morning!"

Those two innocuous words threw me for a loop this morning. They came from a man sitting adjacent to me on the subway as I rode in on my way to work.

In the three seconds it took for my bajan manners to kick in and respond likewise about 20 thoughts ran through my head.

Wait I kno he?

He cud be talking to me?

Wha um is he want now? I aint got nuh money ta give a fella! I aint care wha kinda sob story he got fa me.

Wait he is ona dem cult fellas dat gine try to start confusing me bout visiting he church? Cause fa right now I aint looking to follow nuh cults. Next ting I know dem tekkin all my salary an de Pastor tief off my wife to be he concubine an leff me by my one self. Actually wait that cud be a good ting, lemma hear wha he got to say an if de pastor lookin fa concubines.

He head bad? he aint look like he escape from Queen Street but still ya can neva tell dese days, he head cud be bad.

Wait was I was talkin to myself agin and he thought I was talking to he? I gotta stop talking and singing ta myself cause dis ting like it duz only attract mad people ya!

Chupse what um is bout me dat mek it look like I interested in conversation dis blessed morning. He cann see I got a newpaper an headphones on specifically cause I aint looking to listen or talk or hear from nuhbody this marning. chupse!

Wha I been in this country umpteen years and nuhbody neva say good morning ta me pun the train. He cann be Canadian!

Naa he want money I kno he want money, cud only be cause that is the only time a complete stranger will say morning to ya on the Train. yea dat is it.

And on and on it went in my head even after I had responded to his greeting and sat down and started reading the newspaper. I was wary. You would have thought the man had threatened me with a knife or something instead of offering me words of greeting.

As the trip started I kept glancing up, surreptitiously trying to take the measure of the man. He still looked sane, was dressed ok; plaid shirt, jeans, sneakers looked like a computer dude so maybe he didnt want my money and no he didnt try to say anything else to me for the duration of the trip so that ruled out the whole cult thing.

Strange indeed. He said Good morning to a stranger. My mind trys to wrap itself around that unfathomable concept. He didnt stare, he didnt push, he didnt plop himself down next to me almost crushing my leg, he didnt give me a wha you looking at mind ya business look, he didnt give me the unless thats the only seat left in this whole train I aint sitting next to you look. Instead he said good morning.

Whoa! Head rush!

Whats that all about? Doesn't he know that in the subway we try to interact as little as possible with our fellow man? Its bad enough we're stuck on this damn infernal, prone to random break downs, vehicle some for 1/2 hr or more or that we might inadvertently have our space violated, get crushed or accidentally brush against another person we didnt want to touch. Like the white woman who kicked me last week and gave me what I can only interpret as a 'dont touch me you dirty n****' look when my foot accidentally touched hers as I moved to let someone pass. And yes I had said sorry. Dry up ol hag! Ya feel I wanta play footsies wid de likes a you. Chupse!

Willingly inviting contact with a stranger? On the subway? You mad or drunk boy? No sar. What gives?

I mean as an aside funny thing about it is that we attempt to be islands in this sea of people. Independent, not interacting, ignoring, pretending to sleep, pretending to read, staring into space, trying not to let our eyes linger too long on one spot or person, listening to our music to drown out the others but yet a lot of these folk acting as islands will pull out that cell phone and have a totally and might I say loud as what not, what should be private conversation in the midst of a complete bunch of strangers. I still haven't figured that one out yet though. Trying to be innocuous, blend in, not gain attention, no touch anyone yet have the most personal of conversations in a crowded train? Hmmm. Must be a they are strangers so who cares if they hear what I'm saying they don't know me thing. Guess that can work in a big city but I may never really figure that one out.

Anyway I kept my eye on dude until he got off at Woodbine. In the end I just figured although he showed no other outwards signs of being a stranger to the city he definitely wasn't from around these parts. yep thats it, he's definitely a newbie. He couldn't be Torontonian.

Unless he mad.

Damn I still wish he was from the cult and had come to take my wife off as a concubine. Way to get a brothers hopes up. Chupse!