Friday, September 03, 2004

Death

How do I say goodbye to what we had?

The good times that made us laugh

Outweigh the bad.

I thought we'd get to see forever

But forever's gone away

It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

Ok maybe I'll share something real today. I've still got a blog on Kobe to finish but that can wait.

I know they say the older you get the more familiar you get with death. I'm beginning to see the truth in that every day. I mean I always noticed as years went by my parents spent more and more time at funerals and still do but in the past year I've also noticed that I now know a lot of people who are dying.

Its not my acquaintances and friends who are dying out yet but all around me I've been faced with friends and family who have been losing their own friends and family on a regular basis. It started sometime late last year and this year it hasn't let up. In fact just a few minutes ago I found out that a friend lost his dad just yesterday and last week another friend lost a mother. Friends have been losing parents, grandparents and other family on a regular basis around me. Even my wife has lost a few family members this year.

So far I'm unscathed but all this death around me and watching my friends deal with its effects I'm forced to wonder when it will be my turn next. Is that morbid? So what deal with it! Its not something I dwell on a lot but with my parents being far away in Barbados every time I get a phone call early in the morning I expect to hear the worst.

Sorry I guess that's just the way I think. I know they have to die sometime, I hope its not soon but at the same time maybe I''m trying to mentally prepare myself for that loss. Not that its going to be any easier but maybe who knows.

Also everyone deals with their sadness and loss in a different way. Its definitely not an easy thing to do. I always wonder whether my condolences, no matter how heart felt, are really helping that person to cope since I can only begin to scratch the surface of their emotion. I wonder how they view my condolences? Do they see them as being useful or in their state is it just so much background static that they would rather not deal with.

That said I'm sure when a loved one dies no one wants to be alone or feel alone so lets hope that we can all support our friends and loved ones when they lose someone close to them because sooner or later its going to happen to either them or you ....unless you yourself die first.

And I'll take with me the memories

To be my sunshine after the rain

It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday

Rest in Peace to all the recently and dearly departed.


2 comments:

Abeni said...

The worst thing you can say is " I know how you feel".Most people mean well but they really can't know what is happening.What I find works is just being there for the person.You really don't have to say anything but just offer your shoulder if it needed. No matter how much you think you prepared you never get accustomed to death at all. Its just too final

Burke said...

I can relate. I felt the same way a couple of years ago when everyone around me lost relatives and friends. I went to about five wakes and/or funerals in one year, and at that time it was more than I had been to in my lifetime. I guess all we can do is try to live our own lives to the fullest and enjoy the time we have with our loved ones because, like they say, life is too short.