Thursday, February 03, 2005

Si Swimsuit

Cant focus my mind today and not sure I want to so here goes. Raptors beat Indiana last night after Jalen Rose got fouled in the last 1.9secs of the game. How often does an NBA team get a call like that on the road?

I think last night was the last episode of SI's swimsuit model search. The show was funny. I don't know the model's names. (good gosh they have names?) I was checking the 'scenery'. Anyway they were down to three finalists and they went to Bora Bora for the actual shoot. The blonde won the challenge and decided she'd do the day three shoot thinking it gave her an advantage. The brunette who's always going on about her Christian values went first and didn't seem too pleased with the topless (covered in a garland) shoot but still did pretty well. She's all focused on the competition and was trying to psyche out the other girls too.

Then Alicia the Hispanic looking girl went second. She's the one they said had a saggy ass but she's worked out and they love her body now. Oh she's been going for the pity vote for the last few weeks since her little diva act. Every week she's going on about how she was raised in foster homes or group homes and what a hard life she's had. Pops be on crack, mom's in jail, brother shot more times than 50 cents and how winning would really help her blah blah blah. Ok I embellish but that's my interpretation when she cues the violins. Like Jay Z said its a hardknock life but stop trying to get the pity vote. Win on what you look like not because you think you can guilt people into voting for you.

Anyway she did a pretty nice shoot. Seemed really at home with the camera and to be honest she's my favorite because she's got 'a bit of edge'. Hey one of the judges said that too. Not sure what it means actually but my interpretation is "you straight ghetto girl! No doubt!". Remember what Beenie say. lol

Then the blonde girl went last. Talk bout stiff. Some like Camp, Wigit and Burke will remember Square One had a tune called Mannequin (dey want me dance like a mannequin) a few years back. Well this girl was stiffer than a mannequin. She's not bad looking but she definitely froze up for the cameras.

Anyway that out of the way they had an elimination. They now had 5 judges; adding the photographer and the current editor of SI's swimsuit edition. One of the judges said something to the effect that they were pleased with Alicia's grace given her background. What da?? Let me interpret what they meant. "Girl you got it going on. I din know you could do dat. Straight representing up in here. I mean you hella ghetto fa shezzy and word is bon sometimes when you be acting a fool I be like uh uh no she didn't. But you did ya thing girlfriend. yo pass that shiltz malt liquor and when we finished can ya go by the weed spot an hook a sister up wid a lil sumting sumting."

Anyway Alicia buss out a big tear bout how hard her life is and how winning would help her. chupse! This led to a symphony of tears. All the contestants crying. I see more tears than at a black funeral.

The brunette girl wised up and finally realized that Alicia was playing for the 'America owes me dammit' sympathy vote so she started going for the all American, home of the brave and free vote. She started saying that her life hasn't been hard but her family supports her I everything and blah blah blah. Queue the star spangled banner theme song. What she really meant was "I know y'all ant thinking of giving my spot to this Hispanic girl. Oh helll naw! I'm a red blood true American from Texas, I own guns and ammunition, I deserve to win this. Y'all owe me for the Alamo. My pop wears a cowboy hat, my mom bakes apple pie on the regular. We got a flag hanging outside our house. Did I mention my brother lost two fingernails in Iraq?'

Anyway I cant stand her. She's always pushing this whole I'm Christian thing but yet she's the cattiest chick on the show go figure.

Blonde girl got in on the all-American act too. Oh during her mannequin shoot, she realized that she didn't want to do the topless posing cause she's Christian as well and her dad may see the pictures. Again I say what the?? Did you not know what you were signing up for? I mean its not Playboy, they ant going to have you with your stuff hanging out, staring at the camera but there will be times when you will be covered by less than you would ideally want. Plus this is a modeling contest, the winner gets a contact to go model. Have you ever seen some of those girls on the runway? Ya neva see Fashion TV? Well let me tell you that some of them girls are barely covered in material and it does not leave much to the imagination. If you want to be a model you've definitely got to be comfortable with your body.

Anyway I'm not too keen on her and her smile issue.

Anyway the blonde mannequin's photo shoot got her booted and its down to the final two and America gets the final vote. I say the All American Texas girl wins in a blowout.


Scratchie said...

Yeah JDid. If you going to sign up for the job then I would think that you are aware of what it entails. I've seen FTV and half the time the woman dem business is there for the world to see.
Wonder who will win.

Melody said...

I'm not a fan ov da sympathy vote mi-self, I've watched American Idol enough ta see how it skews everyfing. De Latina's brother got shot more times than 50 Cent? LOL, Jdid, Mad TV showed 50 gettin' shot an' pickin' out de bullets while he & de woman from Set It Off were filmin' a video. Anyway, let Blondie win--if only because she isn't tryin' to win a 'looks' show by seekin' pity.

titilayo said...

I have never seen the show you are talking about, but your analysis of the episode was the funniest thing I've read all day (don't mind that it's only morning time, it was still real funny). I'll be checking back to find out if your prediction was on point.

Urban Sista said...

Boy! I did forget to watch it last night! Thanks for the recap -- I got a good chuckle. I glad the blonde one get de boot -- she started to believe she own hype. At this point, I could care less which one wins -- although I do prefer the gap-tooth one. I don't like Alicia. She's arrogant and like you said, every episode, she going on and on about how she had a rough life and the other girls don't understand and ray, ray, ray.

Make sure you blog on de final, yuh hear?

Jdid said...

scratchie thats the truth boy, sum a dem women on FT duz be showing so much a dem business sometimes i swear i can tell wha dem eat yesterday

melody was juss kiddin about the brother being shot but she was going on and on about her hard life like someone owes her something. yea the madd tv skit was hilarious. 50 gine flop doah cause he mek joke offa ja rule but now every song he aint nuh different

titilayo welcome, glad you liked

urban sista, i'm not sure if this was the last episode or not actually. america votes for the winner. actually SI's swimsuit edition comes out next week or most likely week after I'm sure so yea there probably will be some final episode. should be fun

summer m. said...

where have i been? i had no idea this was a show.

Abeni said...

I meant to take a look last night but I got distracted by other things.Like Summer,I never even knew it was a show and am a tvholic

Abeni said...

I meant to take a look last night but I got distracted by other things.Like Summer,I never even knew it was a show and am a tvholic

Anonymous said...

Me nuh undastan you. Weh de pics rude yute? You jus as bad as me who talking bout mi hot local calendar and a withold the photos! ;-) Dr. D.

gonebabygone said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one wasting brain cells while watching this.

obifromsouthlondon said...

hmmmm they said boriqua had a saggy ass? like low-g ass? didy you gotta comment on the hip to booty ratio right hurrr. nigguz demand it.

more tears than at a black funeral? I'm already crying mayne!!!

Jdid said...

summer you're missing out.

you too abeni lol

Dr sorry about the pictures I a bit technically challenged these days

Fishy its not wasting brain cells at least thats what i fool myself with at nights lol

obi the hip to booty ratio was on point but fa real boriqua has shaped up quite a bit since they put her on notice first episode.