To each and every one of you ladies who read my ramblings. I hope you all have a great day.
Got to give my mom a call in the morning to wish her happy mother's day. Just realized that its been quite a while since I last saw either of my parents actually. Something like almost a year and a half. Actually since I've been here in Toronto I don't think I've seen my mom on an actual mother's day during the last decade except for once in 1999.
Just wished things had worked out different I guess but a so it go and I'm here while she's in Barbados. So yep I miss having my mom near me especially on days like this although truth be told mother's day has never been a big deal with my mom. No big deal, no fancy lunches, no flowers, just a happy mother's day. Another day more or less but at least one where I saw my mom.
So I reminisce on my mom especially on days like this. Got to blame/praise her for who I am now because I think she raised my right. She thought me to fear God and to do what's right, she thought me how to respect women and how to respect myself. She thought me not to take any crap. She thought me that education was important and to use common sense. She thought me that if you don't understand something you need to be asking questions, she thought me that you shouldn't put yourself in stupid situations if possible. Use ya common sense nuh lol.
She told me stories and read to me before I could read for myself probably inspiring my creativity. She thought me that one has to be careful in choosing friends and that friendships are two way streets and if one person is putting in all the work then its not a friendship anymore. She thought me about integrity, striving to be the best and how to work hard. Work hard, yea my mom is like the hardest working person out there that I know. Its like she never stops going. If she's chilling then either she's in church or she's sick. Tried to get her to slow down but that's just the way she's always been.
I wish my mom understood me better though.
I wish I was located closer to my mom, that I could do more for my mom, that I could see my mom more often because I know these things will haunt me when she dies. In these things I feel like I've somehow failed. Wish I had done things differently or had made different choices or that I was able to give back to my mom what I think she deserves. But I guess nothing is ever big enough or enough to repay one's parents for what they've done for you. Still wish I could do more though. Makes me feel like a big failure sometimes. Oh well, maybe one day I can do more inshallah.
Happy mother's day.