Sunday, April 03, 2005

Guess who's bizack

Yep that's right folk its old man winter. Just couldn't leave us without a reminder of his power so we've had a freezing rain/snow mixture here in Toronto for the last two days. Just when you thought it was safe and spring was here its time to break out the old winter gear. Oh well. Its all part and parcel for these climes and I had told everyone that we would have at least one major storm in April anyway. That doesn't mean I don't hate it still. Its damn annoying but all I can do is accept it or move.

Well the Pope died. May he rest in peace is all I say.

Day Light savings time started on Saturday night. That means I lose an hour's sleep tonight and just my luck that Monday morning I want to get to work early for once. A so it go I guess.

Had this whole blog on tact that I wanted to do for no apparent reason but as I wrote it, it wasn't making any sense so I must "wheel an come again" some other time.

Actually it was basically about how tact has become co-opted by political correctness to the point where nowadays its harder to tell whether someone is being truthful with you or if they are just afraid they will hurt your feelings or say something that you will perceive as negative even though they may not necessarily mean it in that way.

And I'm talking about in polite friendly situations as opposed to the business world where everyone is not your friend and anything less than tactful is probably to just to avoided.

Oh well (rambling again should just give up on this) I guess we just live in a kinder and gentler world or maybe a more fraudulent one where people "smile in your face, behind your back they talk trash".

Now mind you alot of Caribbean people are pretty free with their words. Freer than most North Americans anyway. Tact is an acquired trait and many a we aint even know what it mean furtherless where one would look to even acquire it from. Some of we will insult ya, cuss ya, let ya know how much eediat ya is, if ya lose tummuch weight, eating tummuch, gain tummuch weight, ya face fall away, if ya look obzocky, ya clothes look bad, ya doing something wrong and aint got a clue, and tell how we really feel bout ya in a quick minute. And this is just chatting with friends and family lol. And the cool thing about it is that in most cases its all said without a great deal of animosity. Its just like I'm just calling it as I see it, straight shooting. On the other hand some people just harbor animosity towards others but pretend that all is well. I must admit that I prefer just knowing what's going on and the straight truth and find the way some of our Caribbean people operate somewhat refreshing as you're not searching for hidden agendas from the other person or trying to decipher double speak and hidden sarcasms.

But then again I think any child that grows up in a Caribbean household is accustomed to that. In a Caribbean household as a child growing up if you mess up and sometimes even when you don't parents are completely devoid of tact and will break you down and make you feel small or at least let you know in no uncertain terms when you were wrong. When a Caribbean parent admonishes his/her child there is no mistaking that the child has been reprimanded.

Contrast this scenario for example; a child breaks a piece of furniture or a window or something like that. In a North American household you would get something like this. "Now Billy, I've already told you that you really mustn't throw stones in the street. Its just not nice! Now daddy's going to have to go over to miss so n so and pay for the damage you did. But before I do I want you to go over there and apologize to her. And if you do that again you're on time out mister. Ok? Now give me a hug."

Now if it was a bajan child who did that it would be like " Billy! Cheese on bread den! You! Dis chile is really my chile doah? Wha I cant believe dat. Boy you is a idiot or what? uh? uh? chupse! Looka why you brek miss so n so window fa? That window trouble you? uh? Answer me! I tell you a hurnrud (100) times not ta pelt no big rocks bout hayso. But no you is a hardears poppit! Now I gotta find muney ta fix she winda. You feel I mek outta muney or wha? Looka I so blasted vex den! Look bring dat tambrind switch from cross deyso"

Ok ok I exaggerate the cultural responses (that probably not politically correct) but see you just cant mistake those types of comments for kudos, lol. Ok got sidetracked about the tact thing but the point was that people need to call it like it actually is more often because sometimes the political correctness goes to far. And I'm still trying to figure out what inspired this post so don't bother asking, lol.

Have a good day and a great week.


Melody said...

"But no you is a hardears poppit!" Jdid, 2 hilarious!! De C'bean response prob'ly makin' de psychiatrists richer than anybody else! De gentler side is good, but de gentle to people's face an' then rip them apart behind them back is hateful. Ah don't want no part ov that.

Big N said...

LOL. West Indian parents know how to destroy their kid's self-worth...

Lene said...

hahahahahha... so true! the yelling is worse than the beatings. i would rather get licks than listen to my mom yell for half an hour.

Anonymous said...

True, true....some people don't know wah de word tact mean...."Lawd a massy...what a way you get big and fat!" (You buck up an acquaintance inna de supermarket who you haven't seen fe years!)

Ever get beating as a pickney and when you start cry them seh, "You could cry until you cry blood!!"....or "You want suppem to cry for?!"

You have a good week too rude yute! Dr. D.

Abeni said...

I prefer the beating any day to the tongue lashing.You get beat and it cool off but the hurtful things stay in your mind.

Campfyah said...

man you ein exggerate de W.I response atall...cause dat is de truff...A Bajan mother woulda tell de child just dat and tar dem behind on de way tuh mekkin he apologize for breaking de window. Time Out...dem two words ein in de Caribbean parent vocabulary. But a tail cuttin sure is

Urban Sista said...

My dad used to ask my sister and I if we were retarded when we did something bad. "Wunnah does get on like yuh's retarded! If I didn't know wunnah, I'd be further!!!"

Thanks, Pops, thanks. To this day, he swears he would have never said anything like that to his children.

Boy, it's surprising that there aren't more 20-something, 30-something Caribbean young people in therapy. For real.

BajanSis said...

No you aint exaggerate atall. A friend I went to school with said her mother used to tell her and her brother: "When I was out getting wunnah I coulda gone gambling cause at least I might woulda win some money"...if I lie I die.

Jdid said...

hmmm from these responses I think I'm going to have to do a whole post on this stuff somehow.

Anonymous said...

well, this week is shaping up, at least!

i can relate to all of that! hilarious!