Saturday, April 02, 2005

Run!

Uh, down-shiftin' on 'em like I got gears on me
(Run!) Besides that, I got about 5 years on me
(Run!) Scared to death, runnin' like I got bears on me
(Run!) My Timb's start feelin' like they Nike Air's on me
(Run!) It's hard for me to slow down, it's like I'm on the Throughway
My belt's in the crib on the floor by my two-way
Now I'm try'nna hold my hammer up, and my pants too
If they don't kill me, they gon' give me a number I can't do
Rather it be the streets, then jail where I die at
And I'm ashmatic, so I'm lookin' for somewhere to hide at

Jadakiss on Ghostface's Run

Last night we went to see Bruce Willis new film Hostage. Wicked movie dat! Let me tell you that is the first movie in a while that I have watched in cinema where I didn't feel like cussing about the money I waste going. Mind you I might be a bit biased since I've been a Bruce Willis fan since the man was moonlighting but to me this movie was almost like Die Hard 4 (which is apparently in pre production for you fans out there, yi-pee-ka ya yo!). Bruce was back to playing the role that he plays best; washed up has been dude in a desperate situation. Only thing is here he wasn't a wise ass like in all the other movies so maybe he had to stretch to play the part. Come on don't tell me you haven't noticed that at least 80% of his roles he plays exactly the same character? Think Die Hard trilogy, Last Man Standing, Striking Distance, Fifth Element and this list goes on.

Anyway it was a good movie so if you get a chance check that one out. May looks like the month of good releases. Star Wars Episode 3, Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Unleashed (featuring my man Jet Lee and Morgan Freeman) etc etc oh and Paris Hilton has a movie coming out called House of Wax. I guess some folks cant just be happy with their 15 minutes of fame and go on to do Surreal life or something. No! She has to be in movies too. Oh well!

Mind you going to the movies here is a whole different experience from going in Barbados. Watching movies in the Caribbean is like going to a sporting event. Movies are a spectator sport and patrons will heckle, cheer, laugh, cuss and express every emotion known to man at the characters on screen. Last time I went to the movies in Barbados was Christmas Eve 2003 to watch return of the King. Lawd ave mercy. I think the crowd participation was better than the movie.

Oh my bad, back in the day when Eaton Centre downtown had half price Tuesday's or as it was known on the low n*** Tuesdays (yea what I said it you know thats what they used to call it so why hide it) every black person in Toronto would go to the cinema it was a similar experience. Lots of background noise, folk talking to the screen, cracking jokes, cussing one another etc. It was like watching two dramas unfold at the same time. And I know bredren personally that say no to the high priced movie food and used to sneak in subs and pizza and all sort of serious food into the movie, lol. We not paying no 5 dollar for two snickers or 10 dollar for just a popcorn and a watered down drink. Dat naa gone mek it when a convenience store and a KFC next door, lol.

Sometimes the crowd participation is a bit annoying but at other times its rather funny to experience. Mind you here its different. The noise here is cell phones and last night one particularly annoying prick with a bag of popcorn. Ya telling me every blasted time ya go in the popcorn bag ya have to shake it like a Polaroid picture? eeediat ting dat! Big Chupse!! I did really feel like if I had two big rocks I woulda pelt them at he. chupse.

However even before the previews started at the movies I had my share of drama last night. We went to the theatres at Kennedy Commons in Scarborough. Its this big strip mall where it takes about 20 minutes to walk from one section to the other. If you going to the supermarket you have to park one side and if you then want to go to the movies you have to drive across to park the other side, lol. Parking lot big big big!

So we got our tickets early and we decided to go browse around some other stores till it was closer to movie time. This meant 10 minute walk across parking lot but we ended up going to the book store Chapters.

While there my wife said she say the security guy giving us the eye. Whatever! Yes I must look like a criminal. I wunda why? nudda big chupse! Anyway two minutes later we're about to step through the door and begin the 10 minute trek to the cinema when this white couple head out just ahead of us and the Chapters security guy heads to the door right behind them. Next thing as I'm looking through the door I see the woman touch the man and both take off flying out into the parking lot. I'm thinking they just joking around with each other ...Until I see the same Chapters employee take off in hot pursuit. A wha de ???

The fellow started dropping books left, right and centre. RUN! I guess he had them hidden under his jacket or something and the two of them sprinting like Ben Johnson to get away from the Chapters guy. Oh might I say that it was pure black people in the parking lot just watching in disbelief like "but wait wha gine on?" as this thing unfolds. My man didn't stop at all, dude had some speed we could use a yout like him on the Canadian Olympic team. Great acceleration out the blocks. Might have to steroid test him though. The man fly across the parking lot in no time at all without looking back (and this is a large parking lot) then run across the road and change to 5th gear. All the while at random intervals books falling to the ground and no little paperbacks either its big hardcover copies of Da Vinci code an stuff like that that falling to the ground. He left the woman and the Chapters guy both in his dust. The woman out ran the Chapters guy too but it was a bit closer. I think the Chapters guy just ran out of steam or decided that they probably don't pay him enough to be chasing igrant people in the parking lot.

So as we head across to the cinema we see him coming back to the bookstore picking up books at different spots. And what I have to say to that. Ya f'in moron if ya did watching the right people instead a looking at a man like me dat aint gine teif nuttin ya might a had a chance to ketch them. Serves ya right, I hope ya ketch pneumonia and pull a hamstring too from all dat running out in the cold wid only a cotton shirt on.

And as we got closer to the cinema we actually saw the girl he had chased. She was just walking around with a big handful of books and was talking on her cellphone. LOL.

15 comments:

Big N said...

HAHAHAHAHA!!! Good story.

summer m. said...

yeah, yo. some movies you just gotta see with niggas. the ghetto cineplex experience is sooo funny.

but you need to check ya boy bruce in sin city. i haven't read the graphic novels it's based on, but i really dug the movie.

Melody said...

Jdid, yu shoulda find some big stone an' pelt SHE when she was readin' de teefin' book dem! She never hear Buju say fly low fly high all petty teef must die! Goin' to de movies in JA is nice too, yu know--it has that festive atmosphere to it--or maybe I'm just rememberin' it as it was when ah was growin' up.

Abeni said...

Totally agree about cinemas in the Cbean.I always say am often more entertained with the commentary than the actual movie.Mind you sometimes it can be irritating but sometimes they say something that have you in stitches

Anonymous said...

Damn tiefing people! I remember being at a big mall in Florida once and seeing a gyal caught by security tiefing from Marshall's.

Boy, I not very tolerant of the constant commentators at the movies myself....they can be amusing sometimes tho. Most of the theatres here block cell phones and pagers....I'm sure they do that up so as well..... Dr. D.

Poeza said...

That was a good one! talk about poetic justice! next time do like me and make them follow you all through the store!!!

is true about cinema scene, but i couldn't deal with waiting for it to come out on video so i could actually hear what was being said! lol. the only thing that beats the cinema for drama in the caribbean is going to a cricket match.....

Lene said...

hahahahahahahhahahahha.

OMG. You know I was actually laughing out loud? People in my house think I lost my fool mind. hahahahahahahaha.

First of all, that Chapters isn't even a nice one to be racial profiling people. That dude shoulda got lik by a car on Kennedy Road, damn teef. The woman who was strolling around with the stolen books, why? Like, you want a record and time in jail for some books? You'd be reading nuff books if you did get locked up too.. hahahahaha.

I love movies when people are talking, makes the movie better. I go to Cineplex Odeon at Morningside and Milner. People were blazing during "How High?" and cussing up a storm when we saw "Love, Sex, and Eating the Bones". Every night there is a cheap night since on Tuesday's it $4.25 and regular nights, it's like 8 bucks.

I'm bookmarking this specific story so I can laugh again and again.

Lene said...

oh yeah... i'm all about bringing food in. We go to McDonald's and the dollar store.

The worst part is that we fully open the can of pop and everyone in the place can hear it. hahahahahaha.

we be passin around bags of chips, chicken, and friend rice, and then we purposedly left the crap behind so they can see that we snuck the food in. hahahahahahhaha.

ah... memories....

Tracey said...

That happens all the time cause you are black they expect you to be the one stealing when it's the white customers and employees. Good fuh he! Dem shudda tek all de blasted books off de friggin walls. ROFLMAO

Havent been to the theatre in the islands yet, must remember to do so next time I go.

Mad Bull said...

Mel Mel, it is still like that in Jamaican theatres. I last saw return of the king too, in an uptown theatre, where the nose level is less, and trust me, nuff nuff feedback was going on. You see when the daughter of the King of the Rohan took on the leader RingWraith and he told her that no man could kill him, and she kill that and whipped off her helmet and said "I am not a man!"? Me say, pandemonium in the place! From then to the end, pure noise! Madness! When the show finished, the people get up and start to applaud! They were clapping for a good few minutes too!

Another movie where the people got real animated was the first Matrix movie. When I tell you that the people made noise, you know! You'd think they were at a ReggaeBoyZ match.

Big post, Jdid! Wicked!

Campfyah said...

White people thiefing in TO...naaahhh say eit ein so...but yuh shoulda tell he serve he right...good one.

Wunna remember de movie days of pay one price and get tuh see 3 movies....hey I grew up in NYC...42nd St was the place tuh be back in de day...go in de movies at 12 midday (skipped school of course) and come out bout 6PM

Melody said...

LOL, MB! Ah remember de audience at another movie--Waiting To Exhale (or What's Love Got to Do with It)??--clappin' an' cheerin' too! What a memory.

Jdid said...

@big N - thanks
@summer - I'm trying to check that this week. Did you see it
@melody - ha ha ha, yea she did really want pelting at fa true
@abeni - you are right sometimes commentary is better than movie
@Dr D - unfortunately I dont think they block cellphones here. Dude behind me with the popcorn also had his cellphone going off.
@poeza - will try that method next time
@starfoxx - chicken and rice lol. ya bad then
@tracey - you got to go next time you been there
@ mad bull - boy the fellas cheering for that scene in my cinema too and the other scene when orlando bloom kill the elephant and slide down the truck. man the place went crazy with that one.

4panist said...

Sounds like nuff drama in the East side. Lucky the guy didn't get hit by a car running through the parking lot. Makes me wonder though, is there a black market for stolen books out there?? I mean if you are going to steal something, steal something light!

Henk said...

Hello, I noticed an interest in music and movie download sites on your blog .I just started a blog about the ethical aspects of downloading for free from the Internet, and I love to start a discussion about it on my blog.So if anyone wants to give his/her opinion feel free to do so.
Greetings
Henk