14 pickney!

Wunnah hear bout the woman that gave birth this week in the US to 8 babies one time? Nuh lie, 8 in one sitting like how fowl duz lay eggs under ya cellar and show up 3 weeks later with nuff lil chickens pecking bout ya yard.

8 pickney! One sitting! Imagine that!

They say she was on fertility treatments so its not surprising that she had multiple births cause sometimes with those fertility treatments the women who want to get pregnant duz get more than they bargained for and come out with twins and triplets but octoplets? Wow!

But then today now they saying that the woman already had 6 previous children. So now she more than double up with that 8 and got a whole whopping 14 children. That right there is an NBA team including the bench and the injury reserve.

And the thing is the woman live home with her mother. Can you say lawless? You could imagine that? I mean I know a few lawless girls that live home at mummy and got two and three pickney but 14! That is taking it to a new level. If I was the grandmother I aint saying I would put she out but is either that or I personally pack up my own georgie bundle and find a new home and leff she an the 14 pickeny by themselves.

And what would possess you to take fertility drugs if you are already so fertile that you got 6 children already? Wha that could only got to be some sorta madness's!

Is different to when we were living in farm based societies and infant mortality was high. Back then ya did want as much children as possible to spread round work to so one could weed and the other cud hoe and the another cud cook and one cud milk the chickens and shear the pigs and so forth or in case one or two dead off from the plague or something so ya got ample backup but nowadays nuhbody aint checking fa nuh 14 children in this day and age. Two or three is considered enough even if somebody got 4 or 5 people duz start looking at them strange.

And you got to wonder about the father now. I hope she aint going have to go on Maury cause I know fellas wud be sweating bricks waiting to see if they got to pay child support for 8 children one time. Imagine that! Maury sitting down with the envelope saying "James in the case of 6 month old DaBarack,Labarack, J'Barack, Mobama, Brobama, Shabama, Shabarack and Tabamarack you are the father." That poor fella wud have a heart attack one time.

Which brings me to another question. How ya duz properly name 8 babies one time unless ya give them numbers? Sounds like a job for my naming tribunal. See how my words aint fall to the ground? I warn the President and he aint listen to me. Now looka this 8 baby name mess.

Limits

I may have mentioned it before but they want to have cell phone connectivity in the subway tunnels here. More minutes used, more money for big corporation coffers as maybe the last bastion resisting constant cell phone usage is destroyed. Oh well progress right and there is some benefit to having this option especially during delays! And who knows it may just turn out to be more extra background noise in the tunnels.

Still while on the bus ride home a few days ago as I inadvertently and rather unconsciously listened to a young lady's cell conversation as she seriously traced her baby fadda for not buying pampers I couldn't help but wonder about what other inappropriate conversations I'd be made privy to with this new cell phone plan.

I keep wondering about the limits between private and public these days where facebook status tells you that the Prince's girlfriend dumped him, questionable photos are a mainstay in online profiles and wholly inappropriate conversations occur in public places with people (of all ages) seemingly oblivious to the fact that they are sharing their life story and letting us know more about them than we should or really need to know.

Is it because this society allows us to believe that you are invisible, no one knows your name or that no one every really sees you? Or is it just that the line between public and private has blurred in this age of too much information? What does it all mean?

Is there a real benefit to knowing more? Is privacy dead? Is privacy no longer desirable?

I don't man, i don't know man, I don't know man, I don't know man, I don't know.

Dont get it twisted son

You better recognize!

Compliments Blog-TO via Second Shelf Life.

Eediat!

Ok Aaron McGruder is officially a moron. Love the Boondocks comic (not so much the tv series) but he's an eediat!

On the topic of race and ethnicity, McGruder said that to him, Obama is not black because he is not a descendant of a slave.

"The person who is one of us in the White House is Michelle Obama and her momma," McGruder said.

That dont even make sense man. Explain that to the millions of black people living in Africa. Oh I'm sorry you're ancestors never were sent to the new world as slaves so that invalidates your blackness. What a jackass!

Hail to the Chief

What can I say. I jumped off the Obama bandwagon after the election. Why not? I mean I supported him as the best man for the job and he won but there are two months between winning the election and becoming POTUS (President of the United States) so why not. Its not like anything was happening in those months really and I'm waiting for results when he finally is President.

Plus I get this feeling that many of the Obama supporters think he's going to click his heels three times (his mother was from Kansas after all) and suddenly recession over and war in Gaza over and we find a cure for Cancer, AIDS and the common cold and the world links hands and sings Kumbaya.

And ya know what! They might actually be right!

Didn't expect that did ya?

I'm being facetious mind you but still, no one can say that Obama and his election victory have not been good for the US economy and he's not even been sworn in yet. Unbelievable!

Think about it. Do you realize how much Obama merchandise has been sold in the last couple of months? From comic books (and since it was the only Obama merchandise I'd probably buy I'm mad I didn't get one last Wednesday) to sex toys, I kid you not on that one, and everything in between the visage of Obama has adorned more product than one would possibly believe. Mugs, t-shirts, key chains, trinkets of all descriptions, Obama has been moving some serious product. I mean Reagan and Clinton and those guys were good for a few t-shirts and Halloween masks but damn Obama's image is on everything. Too bad they didn't copyright that and start up a corporation cause if they had that might be the only stock in the stock market that was going up right now.

I mean its pretty incredible and I'd love to see someone release some figures on how much money the Obama image has created for the US economy in the past few months.

Then you have this inauguration thing. Everybody gong to this thing! People who faid to fly, who don't leave their house to go to the corner store, recluses, people that normally frighten for a lil crowd of two and three people, black people that you don't see at all from October to April and that duz hibernate when the first leaves start falling off the trees and only peep their heads out come spring, all running down to DC for Tuesday and they are coming from everywhere: out of city, out of state, out of country. Its bananas! I mean people flying down and driving down from Toronto, people flying in from the Caribbean. Everyone wants to glimpse the man and get a touch of the hem of his garment. You know how happy the airlines must be with the amount of travellers they getting for this event? And the car people and oil people and the hotel people must be just as thrilled too.

And its pretty amazing that these people are leaving their homes in other countries and going to cold DC to take part in this event and be a part of history given how unbelievably cold it has been in the North East in the past couple of weeks.

Imagine if they had had the swearing in in the summer?

Boy that Obama fella single handedly keeping this economy going! And he ain't even got no real power yet so yea imagine what going happen when he finally sworn in.

Me I'm sarcastic and jdid so I'm just waiting for actual results now. All hail the POTUS.

naming Tribunal

Dear Mr President Elect soon to be Mr President Obama sir,

Now I know that you are a busy man getting ready for your inauguration where cold, cold Washington going be packed down with too many people peeping for a glimpse of you cause everybody and their momma heading down there like is Freaknik or something so. And I know you got a lot on your plate; the situation in Gaza, the economy, Bin Laden, trying to stop Hillary from overthrowing ya, getting that College Football ranking system sort out, hiding and checking the scores on your crackberry and other important issues of state and such but I would be remiss if I did not bring to your attention another important issue that has flown under the radar for too long.

It is in regards to parents naming their children all sorts of foolishness. It was bad enough with all these la and shas and de and apostrophes and commas that people was putting in the children names but it came to a head this week when Lisa Bonet gave her child some name like rain storm beating on my window sill or something so and these people name their child after Hitler. lawd havest mercy!

This thing has gone too far Mr President. Clear off the desk Gaza can wait this issue demands your full immediate attention. It is time for decisive action at the highest level. Mek this thing a priority nuh man! I request senate hearings and committee briefings. Ya cud even name a secretary of child naming. I wud put my name in the running but I dont think I would pass the intensive vetting process cause I got a few people wid foolish names in my extended family too.

Dat dont mean that I aint against foolish names though. For a long time now I have been lobbying and advocating for baby naming classes to be made available pre-birth along with all those other classes on post-natal care that parents have access to. In fact my friend Bajansistren suggest that enough is enough and we need to have a baby naming tribunal. I totally agree with that idea.

You could even do it in an American Idol format. Three or four judges (again I would volunteer for that Simon role but that grueling vetting process might upset my applecart) and the parents come out with the name and it get voted on. If it pass you get a ticket that you can give to the authorities when you putting the name on the birth certificate saying it pass and you can proceed, if it fail badly back to the drawing board for you, if it almost there gi dem a lil suggestion and mek them come back the next day.

So Mr President looka Bush sit down and let this thing go on too long. It aint getting no better if anything it reaching epidemic proportions. Plus you know now you are a celebrity you going soon be inundated with children name D'Barack and Shabama and LaBama and such. Time to nip that in the bud. Its time for your government to come in and get the ball rolling quickly to show that you wont tolerate this nonsense. Mek a move man, mek a move.

Oh and good luck with the inauguration feting.

Jdid

Bubby-dus

(first in the written in Barbados trilogy)

And wunnah tell me Barbados doan got mountains. Chupse!

Looka I not suh sure what happened in Barbados the past few years cause I haven't been living there now for the last decade but I mean I noticed it this summer when I was there and just didn’t have the inclination to write about it then but well lets just say that something has changed with the women and the women’s fashions.

As I described it to a friend, its like there was an explosion of breasteses in the past few years as almost every woman young, old and in between is wearing some extreme-cleavage revealing or enhancing garb where the motto must be the more skin the better. Its was like being in a Russ Meyers movie at some points.

Where were these fashion options when I was a teenager, young single and carefree nuh? chupse!

I mean as I noted while walking the beach one morning it really is a thing when most of the women on the beach are dressed a lot more conservatively than the majority of women in Bridgetown during the day.

And as someone else noted to me when I told them about this well maybe they should consider changing the name of Bridgetown to Breast-town cause that was all that was on display from swan street to Broad street, high street, Marhill street and fairchile street and everywhere in between.

Now before ona dese young yams like Kami call me an old fogie and say I don’t know fashion its not that I complaining about the tit-illation (pun intended) I am just making a comment that modesty seems to have indeed left the building cause I know for a fact that that much skin wasn't on display when I was younger and could appreciate it lil more.

See I would have done a proper detailed scientific study and all that but its difficult to keep abreast (pun intended) of the comings and goings with so many subjects to choose from. All I know is that everywhere I went all I could do was look and try not to look like I looking but well the trying not to look was difficult cause like I said everybody and their mudda and I mean that literally was wearing some sort of revealing top so it was breasts staring at ya left, right and centre.

Now once upon a time it was bajan men that used to wear their shirts halfway unbuttoned and show off all their scraggly unkempt chest hair and such. Now the men learn to button up the button ups or dem wearing t-shirts and the women like they decide to flip tings and learn to unbutton or well just wear things that keep their chests looking like they want to bust (pun intended) loose.

And it wasn’t just one cut of dress either that I referring to. It was like almost every woman in Barbados just trying to accentuate that part of the anatomy and some women were so sizable they really needed to do the opposite of accentuate instead a mekkin we focus in on the top heaviness.

So there were the low cut tops, the v-cut tops where the v’s were real low, the absence of bras or the other issue where the ladies were clearly not wearing the correct bra size to go with their endowments. At first I played that one off as well maybe they don’t know nuh better or there is a lack of good bra sizers in Barbados but then I was informed that oh no they do know but they find wearing a bra clearly two or more sizes too small is a way to get that extra push up an push out look ie: that stand at attention look where it seems as if the breasts saluting ya and are trying to reach the chin or are coming together and collaborating on how best to make a break for it and jump out of the low cut blouse at any moment.

And as I pointed out before it wasn’t just one type of woman wearing these outfits. Big girls with plenty assets spewing over tight, tight tops or printed out in skin fitting blouses like if they flex like the hulk the whole thing pop loose and a fella lose an eye and small girls with not much to work with squeeze up and push out or wearing v cut things with no bras . Big hardback old women that really ya wud think should know and dress better and young young girls that ya figure their parents shud know better than to dress them like that. Somehow every and any women managed to get in on the action. It was quite a sight.

Not that I complaining! I just making a social commentary. This is what I saw and this is what I reporting so don't start off with no Jdid is a pervert thoughts. Wha I would gotta be Stevie Wonder not to have notice how these women dressing.

Still it gave me a thought. I feel the Tourism Authority should use this to their advantage and instead a promoting Barbados as land of flying fish and sun and sea we could do a thing with Bubby-dus land of the exploding breasts.

Well um is juss an idea cause the economy ain't dat good these days and sex duz sell.

What?

Lisa Bonet's new chile name is Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha Momoa (which apparently translates as the stormiest, rainiest night).

To think that someone named Lisa and a father whose name is Jason would do this to their child.

I'm not speechless I just cant think of anything more to say that doesnt start with what the ???

Things Brown

I hope allya didn't spend off big money at Christmas thinking this recession thing was just a slight blip and 2009 would be back to normal. Well if ya did and you thought things weren't that bad and this recession was just a passing fancy I have news for you.

Its real!

How I know its real? Well I always thought it was but just for further confirmation I open yesterday's paper and see a headline saying that a German Billionaire commit suicide cause his global empire ran into trouble with this economic downturn. Imagine that! The recession got billionaires killing themselves. What a ting! Tell me that don't mek ya realize how serious this thing is?

I mean we not talking about no I cant pay the light bill and my house get repossessed and I homeless suicide we talking about a cat that was a billionaire, lifestyles of the rich and shameless, caviar dreams and champagne wishes, private jet having, money wid nuff zeroes at the end falling off the page type of fellow.

So if things so dread that a guy like him say look I cant deal with this thing I want out, I dun, I gone, see ya, wha bout we dat cross hayso eating bully beef and chicken backs, with cheese cutter dreams and mauby wishes and trying to shuffle 10 cents from the light bill to the water bill? Lawd ave mercy!

And ya know a fellow like that with big money got access to nuff resources. So unlike we dat have to rely on the lies in the mainstream media where they try hard to convince us that everything gine be alright and not to panic and that we should go out and buy that new Buick and that enormous flat screen TV cause we really need them and it going help the economy, he is rich enough to afford to pay people to bring him the real news. So he must have had a few legit forecasts of the future showing him just how bad things going to get cause this thing only just start ya know.

So if he a fellow with the money and the info couldn't tek the strain and decide he couldn't tek it nuh more wha chance we pockets on E type people got?

Cuhdear!

Way to Go!

Today was cold! I left work at lunch to run an errand. Pick up some info I needed from some place. Was on a mission to start the New Year with action instead of my usual procrastination. Caught the subway, walked to the office, waited then asked for the info I needed, the lady repeated my query, I responded yes please. Got my info packet. Jet!

Got back to my office, opened the packet read the info and thought umm this somehow doesnt look right. Called, explained what I had and what really I wanted which I thought I had explained when I was there half an hour earlier. Oh no, we call that something else you need another info packet.

So now I have to go back sometime this week in order to get the correct info.

And my day was going so nicely prior. Grrrrrrr!

Happy New Years

Just got back from Christmas in Barbados with lots to blog about but just wanted to wish all my fellow bloggers and all my readers Happy New Year. Wont get into any of the depresssing details of my 2008 and I am not making any resolutions but I hope personally I have a better year in 2009 and I wish you the same.

More Times!

Shoe Bush Duck

Ok besides the fact that Bush has some pretty good reflexes do you know what I noticed about this whole throw the shoes at Bush incident?

Where were the secret service dudes? Was that one who stood up about 20 seconds after the second shoe missed? Talk about reflexes! Dude was like oh there goes one shoe , oh there goes another ok i'll count to 10 and then stand up in case there is like a third shoe coming at him. What happened to protecting the president at all costs? Forget taking bullets ya mean a fellow wont even take a shoe for the president. Cuhdear

Secret Recipe

Four months after a Burger King employee lost his job for taking a bubble bath in a restaurant sink, three scantily clad teens were fired when they turned a basin at their northern California KFC into their personal hot tub.

They landed in hot water with the chicken chain's management when one of the bikini-clad dimwits made the same mistake as the Ohio Burger King employee - she posted photos of the dippy escapade on MySpace.

Every time I see an article like this one I duz have to laugh and say boy technology mekkin we stupider and stupider. I mean ok its dumb enough that they get in the people basin for one and its dumber that they took photos thereby creating evidence to their crime but posting the photos on the web? Now that has got to take the cake.

I wont argue that me or my generation didn't used to do stupidness cause that would be a lie but when we did do it most times we would keep it hush hush or if not at least we were wise enough to make sure there was no photo evidence so that if it got around it was someone else's word against yours.

Of course we didn't have access to all these technological advances, the cameras and the phone videos and iblackberrys and the myface and spacebooks and such but still I'm willing to bet we probably would have been a bit wiser about who knew what we were doing.

I frighten that we future going look like the one in that movie Idiocracy. Lord come fa ya world!

Slow Down

After it happened for the umpteenth time this morning I figured I'd write about it.

Recently I wrote about parents who smoke while pushing infant strollers and those who push their strollers out into traffic assuming that everyone around them will stop. Well I've got another type of parent to complain about today: the parents driving their kids to daycare.

There is a daycare in my neighbourhood and every morning when I walk out to the bus I have to be doubly careful while crossing any streets (even or especially at traffic signals) because of the folk coming into the neighbourhood to drop off their kids who blatantly disobey the traffic rules.

Now you would assume parents driving their precious cargo to daycare would be careful conscientious drivers right? Nope! Many of them are full on road hogs or Nascar racers only concerned with making their pit stop as short as possible. I feel like if it was possible for them to drive by and somehow shoot the chile out the back window into a hammock at the daycare some of them would.

They will make their right turns at the crosswalk just as you are about to step into the street disobeying the stop signs and the fact that they don't have the right of way there. And don't ask how I know is parents doing the daycare thing that are the culprits cause I know the two or three times I almost get lik down at the traffic lights this year the culprits had a car seat in the back and turned into the the daycare cul-de-sac afterwards. Its terrible! And then another issue is them parking all willy nilly again ignoring rules in an effort to hustle their offspring into the daycare again with no disregard for other road and sidewalk users. Like during winter when the snow is piled up all along the roadway and they park at the only stop in the mountain of snow where a pedestrian can actually safely cross the street without walking through snow up to his kneecaps and they block your path with their vehicle as they hustle about their business. What you think the rest of us have time to wait on you because your task is that much more important than ours? Obey the rules man! Chupse!

But is the ones who drive through stop signs that annoy me the most cause that's illegal. Just cause you see another car ain't coming don't mean you can ignore stop or replace it with slow down because you haven't seen us on the sidewalk about to step out.

I think of giving them a few choice words too but I trying to respect the poor infants in the back seat so all I can do is silently mutter but one a dese days boy , one of these days.......

Escapees

All since last week I start to believe there was a conspiracy underway. A plot to escape, make a Prison Break like Mike Scofield, on a show that realistically should have only lasted one season but I digress. I keep seeing clues, tips that the plot had passed the planning stage and was now well into the execution stage.

What I'm talking about is the great escape of the gloves. Give us us free!

Seriously since last week everywhere I go I keep seeing lone gloves in the snow or on a subway seat or on the stairs or just lying about somewhere and since I dont see Michael jackson anywhere in the glove vicinity I can only come to the conclusion that the gloves are escaping from human clutches. Its like the gloves have decided they fed up with protecting hands and they making a break for it this winter. Except only one fella like he can escape at a time and the other poor fella duz be left behind as the scapegoat to try to do the work of two men.

It reminds me of the great sock escape that occurs everytime I do laundry. I think that crew just get tired of my stinky feet and somewhere between the washer and dryer they make a break for it probably via some secret tunnel built into dryers that I am unaware of but whatever the case one leaves and I'm left with one sock which really isnt better than no sock at all unless unmatching socks suddenly becomes a new style. In which case I will a fashionista!

So I believe that some unsuspecting soul one day put the gloves in the sock drawer and that the gloves learn a new trick and drew inspiration from these wicked socks' quest and decided to use the same tactics to arrange their freedom. Some sort of operation 5 fingers in effect or something so.

Soon all we going have to be like little children and clip the gloves onto our jackets cause you never can tell when a courageous glove trooper will yell geronimo and make a break for it.

I personally blame this increase on glove escapees on the propaganda about glove martyrs receiving 20 new fingers to play with in glove heaven but whatever!

So I keeping a special eye out on my gloves to make sure they dont think to try nothing stupid this winter cause I watching them like a hawk. They aint getting away at all cause both my hands cold.

Prorogued

What do you mean prorogue is not what happens when perogies go bad? :-) Ok bad joke but whatever!

This week a coalition of heroes approached the Haitian seeing assistance in getting rid of their enemy, the one with the greatest power. Apparently the Haitian couldnt help.

Sounds like a scene from the show Heroes right? Alas it was a scene from Canadian politics as it played out this week with Dion, Duceppe and Layton playing the coalition, Governor General Michaëlle Jean playing the Haitian (she is Haitian born after all right) and PM Harper playing the villain. Right now all we need is a solar eclipse and my analogy is complete.

In theory a coalition could work. If aliens from outer space landed and were running roughshod over the country perhaps a Liberal, a socialist and a separatist could put their differences aside and work together to defeat the alien overlords. A global economic crisis, however, is probably not enough for these three wildly divergent visions of Canada to gel.

That quote is from Rick Mercer. You can find his take on the situation here. Quite a good read.

Anyway in response to our current political crisis which I mentioned in my previous post yesterday the Governor General acting on the wishes of the current PM has prorogued parliament until the end of January. What that proroguing term mean, and I used to think it meant to be in favor of scoundrels although come to think of it you could still interpret it as such, is that parliament has been suspended. He who fights and runs away lives to fight another day I guess.

Doors lock, business aborted, wheel and come again if you please!

Now I'll be honest. At first when I heard that the Governor General was following the PM's suggestion I was vex. What kind of foolishness this woman doing I thought. But a few hours later I changed my mind. I think Madame Jean acted correctly and in the best interests of the Canadian people on this one.

Mind you it could and probably will still end badly but for now she basically saying cool your heels and lets see if we can settle this thing amicably or at least like sensible people with the welfare of the Canadian citizens at heart. So for that I commend her.

The problem is for all her good intentions she has probably just prolonged the inevitable; that being Canadians heading back to the polls early next year.

Lets examine the situation. As Mercer suggested there was no way a political coalition of those three parties survives long term, even short term its sketchy cause I'm sure its all smiles now but wait until Duceppe and Layton start flexing their muscles.

The other issue with the Liberal-NDP Bloc supported coalition is leadership and this is one of the reasons I think Jean did the right thing but we are headed back to elections. Stephane Dion by default is the leader of that coalition but Canadians have overwhelmingly rejected him as a leader. To even have him spend two days in the PM's chair is just ridiculous and a slap in the face to voters cause clearly thats not what they wanted. So a Dion led coalition is really not favorable.

And really he's not a strong leader. A coalition needs a strong leader to keep the divergent worldviews and minsets in check. You really think the PQ and NDP respect Dion? Nuh I doubt that.

And what was with that cheesy video they did in response to Harper's statement. As one news anchor quipped it looks like they shot it on a cellphone. Seriously if you want to bring your point of view to the people and cant find a proper camera to make a short speech telling us why you should be our next government then that really isnt a vote of confidence in your skills as leaders, managers or doers. It just says you're not ready yet. Silly silly silly on their part!

Then we come to the encumbant PM Harper. He started it all. Just couldnt play nice with his pals on the Hill. He is still PM but lets take a look at who was propping up his minority government in the face of opposition from the LIberals and NDP. Oh wait it was the Parti Quebecois who he just completely insulted over and over in his attempts to stop this coalition from happening. Does he think they'll support him now whe he's got crucial bills to pass? Nope so that means we'll have an ineffective minority goverment and nothing will get done. Just wonderful.

I could go on about the outcomes of any possible elections but all in all the verdict is that we here in Canada are faced with a political connundrum which we cannot really afford to have at this time and Canada could be poorly led for the forseeable future.

So much for first world status but then again I never drank the koolaid on that one.

Bacchanal

You got to know when to hold em,
know when to fold em
know when to walk away
know when to run

the Gambler - Kenny Rogers

While allya was getting caught up in whether Obama was going to nominate Billary for Secretary of State and who and who and who was going to be in his cabinet (he name a Bajan Attorney General so respect due seen), this past week been pure bacchanal in Canadian Federal politics.

I know wunnah aint know bout that cause nuhbody don't really pay attention to Canadian politics even we living here in Canada but let me tell ya is pure drama we been having lately up here in Ottawa.

I had spoken about the election we had back in mid-October predicting, correctly I might add although even Stevie Wonder coulda see what was going to happen, that the Conservatives would win another minority government and then that was that. Back to the old status quo of quibbling in parliament and such until last week.

Now last week in Parliament, Prime Minister Harper and his finance people introduce a bill or something so and amongst the items on this thing was no bailout package for the auto industry (rightly so at this juncture in time until we see what the Americans do), a moratorium on striking for Federal employees and most explosively a proposal to get rid of all public funding for political parties given the economy right now.

Now alright that last one sound like a good plan given how brown things is these days but really what it was is Harper trying to downpress the opposition again cause the ruling party got nuff private sponsors and their coffers full but all the opposition parties scrunting especially since the last election caught them all napping. So passing this proposal would ruin the opposition and bolster the ruling party.

Well boy, Harper had played this one thinking it was a win win situation. Either the opposition agree to the proposal in which case they shooting off their own foot or they kick up fuss in which case he could either squeeze them into another election while making them seem like they selfish and self centered or he would remove that part of the proposal about the public funding at the last minute still leaving them with egg on their face looking self absorbed and selfish if they voted with him. Could not lose that play at all. Squeezed like when you play domino and any play you can make the other team win off. He had them between a rock and a hard place. Or so he though.

Well the opposition people get vex and I guess this was the last straw cause lets face it Harper been bullying the other parties since forever, playing a strategic game of chess to keep them in check every few moves. So they did what no one would ever think them capable of doing given their ideological differences. They came together and formed a coalition. NDP, and Liberals with the tacit support of the Bloc basically saying enough is enough , we taking back the government cause now we have a majority.

Wuhloss! So now we in a position where everybody scrambling now. Harper sweating bricks cause instead of having the opposition in check, the tables turn and they already tell the Governor General we ready to take over.

What gine happen next? Well they vote on this bill in parliament next week and all sorta outcomes could happen. New election, waste taxpayers money again, the GG could say tek the reins and Harper guhlong bout ya business or a number of other scenarios could play out.

All I know is that if the coalition get back in power Stephane Dion going to be Prime minister and this is a man that lost the elections worse than any Liberal leader since the 1800s and a man who was about to vacate the party leadership and walk into the sunset. Talk about upset and comeback! This would the political equivalent of Reggie Miller's 8 points in 6 seconds to win the game. From zero to hero (not that Reggie was ever a zero)!

But still a week or so left to see what going to happen. Lots of time so anything can happen. Meanwhile anti-perspirant and fans musse this years hot must have items for politicians in Ottawa cause the place hot like fyah!

What a la la!

Standard Sizes

When I instigate my insidious plan for world domination it wont be because I want to rule with an Iron fist, have people bow down in homage before me, because I trying to downpress the average man or because I have a misguided belief that I can bring about world peace.

Nuh uh!



The catalyst for my terrible campaign will be because I man just get fed up with cup and container sizes being non-standard. (ps: if you ever google cup size all ya duz get is nuff sites for bras and god knows what else related to breasts but I not talking bout nuhbody breasts here ok)

How hard can it be for us as a people to have a standard cup size when someone is buying a drink? I not even looking for a worldwide standard I mean cause I know that in a US large is XX-large in Canada and a bucket in the West Indies and that a Bucket in New York is a large wash tub size in Barbados. No, I not even looking for standards to be world wide but what about even city wide? Ya mean that is impossible? Cuhdear man!

Go into one coffee chain here and a medium is the size of another coffee chain's small. Go into a sandwich place and a large cup is the same size as the food place next door's extra large. It is one of the most annoying things ever I think cause you have to ask them well what a large look like or what size is a medium. And when you dont ask and somebody give you a large that really the size of somebody else medium you duz be thinking dem tief ya money or the cashier din hear you properly and give you a default size. Man, you shouldn't have to ask something so. Standardize man, standardize.

It cant be that hard, we have standards in most other places. Just pick some sizes and call them the standard. A large can be a 12 ounce, a medium a 8, a extra large a 16. Not a 8 ounce is somebody large and somebody else small. That nuh mek it.

Time for a change man, wunnah nuh hear what de man Obama say? Time fi change! Well he din chatting bout cup sizes but the slogan is relevant. Don't let me have to call up my troops and march bout the place robbing and pillaging before we get together as people and decide that standardization is good for the nation and the people and the economy.

Cineplexia

I went to the cinema yesterday to see the new James Bond movie. Its not as good as the last one but all in all its not bad either. Hadn't been to the movies since the summer so I was a bit surprised that the price of movies had gone up. Used to be $9.95 now its $10.50. I mean with the world as it stands with finances these days I thought they might encourage more people to come to the movies by lowering the prices not raising them. Cause movies is a luxury it aint no necessity so dem better be aware a that.

Anyway a while back I tell y'all how the airport duz be like a country unto itself. Well the cinema duz be the same way too. That is the only way I can explain how it is that the woman at the concession stand tell me a regular drink and a lil pack a M&Ms was $9.02.

Nine oh who? Alright then faget that I will have to do without. Cause fa $9.02 I could almost see anudda movie at that cinema, fa $9.02 I could go out in the mall and get a combo from almost any a dem fast food places, drink, fries and a sandwicj or burger. Fa $9.02 I could go to the bootleg fella cross the street buy 5 movies and still give TTC $2.75 to get back on the bus and guh home. No uh uh I keeping my $9.02.

But its always been so in Cineplexia, whichis my new name for the cinema since I feel them got their own charter and delare demselves an independent country. Was always so, is juss I forget that is so the movies duz go. Cause when I was younger I remember deliberately stopping at the convience store on the way to the movies to stock up on snacks cause the people in Cineplexia looking to bruk ya pockets.

I feel personally they should be offering we free food at the movies though cause dem should be counting their blessings any a we duz actually go to a movie these days what when you can get bootleg dvds of the latest release for a handful for a couple dollars.

Best not to bite the hand dat feeding ya I say.

Right & Rights

So a mother here is claiming her fundamental rights were taken away from her when she wasnt allowed to breastfeed her baby in a swimming pool or rather on the steps into the pool.

Is it just me or is this just silly?

Yes you have the right to breast feed a child anywhere but is it right to do so? Come on now! It seems like utter lawlessness and laziness that she couldn't take the child away from the pool for a few minutes to feed it. Is a swimming pool, or its steps, really a hygienic place to feed one's child? All that bacteria in the pool, splashing kids, splashing water doesn't really sound like the greatest spot to me. In fact I would argue unless the chile name Aquaman then dont feed it in the pool.

But like every other thing these days everyone thinks they have rights and having rights mean regardless of if what you are doing makes sense , is right, or doesn't make sense, is invariably wrong, you can complain and argue your rights were somehow abused. Somehow the connection between rights and common sense just does not compute to many people.

This one will be interesting though cause according to the article:
"The Ontario Human Rights Commission says breastfeeding women can't be prohibited from feeding their babies in public, or ordered to move to areas considered more "discreet." But the Ministry of Health sets rules that ban food and drink around pools, says Karkouti, and if breastfeeding is allowed, bottles should also be allowed."

cigarettes & strollers

I think I've mentioned this before but just in case.

I've always wondered about women (most of the time its mothers i see doing it) out for a walk with babies who are casually smoking while pushing the stroller. It just seems kind of bizarre for lack of a better word.

I mean I aint grudge you your smoke but really does the child have to be that close to your second hand smoke? It just seems counter intuitive to taking the baby out for some fresh air.

And another thing I noticed with strollers is how some parents push them out into traffic way ahead of themselves at traffic lights like stop I'm coming through with a baby. Ok that's all fine and dandy but umm suppose the stroller get hit by a car. I mean its not like the stroller doesn't have an infant in it. Shouldn't you be more careful with how you stick them out into traffic with your assumption that everyone will stop simply because its a stroller. What if they cant stop? aren't you putting that kid in more danger than it needs to be and shouldn't the watchword with a child be caution.

Mountaintops

And though it seems heaven sent we ain't are ready to see a black president.

Just needed to correct Pac's line there.

Stop for a minute. Just stop. Consider where you are right now in your life and where you were when you heard the news that Barack Obama had won the US presidential election. Bask in the elation and the euphoria, take in the sights and the sounds. Remember them!

Without overly indulging in hyperbole this is truly a momentous occasion. Its one of those "one moment in time" moments that Whitney sang about.

In my lifetime so far I've seen such events as the end of apartheid and the end of the cold war. Those were moments back then that I hoped might come but still never really dreamed would occur. Similarly but oh so much more of a dream, pipe dream even, was the concept of a black president in the US. In fact it was so much a dream we didn't even dare to think it. But on this day, that dream has become a reality, well a reality in so much that a black man has won the election and is now just waiting to be sworn in as President in January.

I can only imagine what black folk felt like when slavery was abolished (lik an lock up done wid hurray for jin jin!) or when they got the right to vote. Maybe this occasion gives me an inkling as to those joyous occasions. Maybe not but just maybe.

Now understand my position. I am a Bajan, a West Indian, a immigrant to Canada, a black man, not necessarily in that order. I am not African-American and although we're all African many of my connections to that actual continent aside from my skin tone have long been lost in the depths of the middle passage and the annals of slavery. So some may ask why is this so important to me, what does Obama's election change, why should I care?

Well first off let me say that although race plays its part I embrace Obama not just for his skin tone but for his approach, his message, the way he ran his campaign and the possibilities that he represents not just for the US but for the entire world.

And now, I embrace his victory. We are coming full circle from the Dubya pick to Obama. Under and Obama presidency things may or may not change in terms of US policy, it may not affect the price of oil or the economy , at least in the short term, and it doesn't mean that we awake this morning and all racism (check this Globe and Mail racist poem) and prejudice has magically ended somehow but at least from a black perspective the outcome of this election says something has changed. We as black people, as minorities, have now seen a glimmer that possibilities lie ahead for us and our children that we might not have dreamed had existed before. We have the audacity to hope.

We may not be alike in many ways, him and I, and I definitely don't expect him to have a specific black agenda while in office and won't get mad when he looks out for the betterment of the entire country as opposed to just the betterment of a specific group but Obama's victory today is my victory, its our collective victory as black people. Note I didn't say the war has been won there are many battles yet to be fought but this right here this is a victory and a significant one nonetheless.

Obama has shattered a glass ceiling beyond most of our wildest expectations and the same way that some expect that we black folk should accept a collective shame and guilt whenever some random black man commits a crime well why shouldn't we now embrace Barack's victory, an achievement that gives us pride? So as I said his victory is mine and I cheer loudly and unabashedly for him.

We have a new hero. Especially for us who are here in North America as minorities. We no longer only need look to foreign leaders or dead African kings and Pharaohs or Marcus, Martin and Malcolm to point out to our children what black people have and can achieved. We have a real live person closer to home who isn't a rapper, who isn't an athlete, who isn't an entertainer who we can say has achieved the impossible, defied the odds, made it to the very top and looks like you and I. We can look at our children and point to Obama while paraphrasing his words Yes you can.

There is still a long way to go but each journey starts with the first step. As Mos Def said we living now with the promise of the infinite, we living now with the promise of the infinite.

Inshalla!

On a more somber note I also embrace this win on behalf of those who paved the way, those who sacrificed and were beaten and tormented and suffered to make this day happen. Those who didn't live to see the dream come to fruition. "I'm destined to live this dream for all my peeps who didn't make it." Obama's grandmother didn't live to see this day, my own father, who I know would have loved to see this, didn't make it and my friend Callie in Florida died last week, so close to this day but yet so far, a few days ironically after I had actually dared for the first time to ask her the question "so ya think Obama going to win?" She had replied simply "Yep...I think we are gonna have our first black president." She was right.

So today I celebrate for those who came before us, those who paved the way, those who didn't live to see the moment but yet shared the dream. Those of us who have lived to see this day should beyond all be thankful that we are here to see it.

So with that said congratulations and good luck President elect Obama. You have made it to the mountain tops but its not an easy road you now must travel. Our prayers go with you for the next and most likely hardest part of the journey. As Buju said "its not an Easy Road, many see the glamour and the glitter and think it's a bed of rose, Who feels it knows, Lord help me sustain these blows."

Make us proud son! Represent!

The spectre of fear

Stupidee!

Imagine that!

These got to be desperate times boy cause desperate measures surely being used these days. Desperate like Ashley Todd, a McCain volunteer, who told a story last week of being mugged by a 6'4" 200lb black man who on realizing she was a McCain supporter took a knife and carved a big B on her cheek. Cuhdear! Poor girl!

The only problem was the whole story was a fraud, fake, a lie, a fabrication, she mek it up den if you don't believe me.

But I had to ask myself what kinda idiot would carve a B into she own face just to make it seem like she get assault by an Obama supporter? Desperate woman I guess. And then I read more of the story and the woman is such an idiot she couldn't even fabricate the story properly.

For one she carve the B upside down on her face. Now she could have said the man had he upside down when he carve it but she din even say that so now unless she was attacked by a dyslexic Obama supporter dat wun din mekkin it at all. Then apparently she was on Twitter posting at the same time she was supposed to be being attacked. These young people dont think at all, at all. Ya mean they cant even go into communications silence for two minutes to fake a proper attack!

Dat is why I keep saying the technology advancing but the common sense decreasing. Real eediat girl!

If she did pick a O to draw pun she face she mighta get way cause ya can draw a O backwards an nuhbody doan notice.

Anyways and why is always got to be a big black man that attack somebody? Wha happen to being attacked by midgets or bony white people? These people been abusing dis particular big black man boogieman to the extreme these days. The ruthless big black man lurking in the shadows to attack and rob and beat and murder and rape. Poor fella, he musse would get tired if he was actually guilty of 90% of the things he duz get accused of. Tiefing babies and attacking this and the next body and carving upside down B's, done obviously from his spider man like perch hanging upside down on the wall.

I mean really isnt it time to move on to another boogieman stereotype! How about I was attacked by a crazed moose shooting hockey mom. I mean that one scares the crap out of me.

Horse bolt, gate close

The story is thus

A 15 year old boy went missing in Barrie (just north of Toronto) about two weeks ago. He ran away after an argument with his parents when they took away his X-Box and he hasn't been seen since.

The boy had apparently been addicted to the Call of Duty game on X-Box, playing it incessantly for the past 18 months online with friends, not heeding his parents. The parents even tried taking it away from him and he found it and resumed playing. Now he's missing and they fear he may have been lured away by internet predators.

Ok now before I give my thoughts I just want to say that its sad that he's missing and I feel for the parents. Cant be a good feeling they have right now.

BUT as a West Indian all I got to say is wunnah let this thing get too far. How you mean the chile did playing this game for 18 months and wunnah couldn't mek he stop? 18 months? I mean a chile could possibly hide and be addicted to alcohol and drugs and if you're not that vigilant as a parent you may not notice but video games? Playing online for hours on end, eventually skipping class to play. Wunnah mekkiin sport man. Wunnah let this thing get too far. Look maybe after the first month or so when the novelty should have worn off you should have noticed this thing getting out of hand. Talk to the chile, tek way the game hide it, sell it, mash it up, turn off the internet. All those options should be possible.

Then they said they took away the game and the chile find it and start playing it again. But wait! I know dis is a new age but I remember back in the days if a parent tek way something from you and tell you that you cant play with it, cant touch it den even if dem put it down on the plate next to your dinner, you dares not touch it. Dares not!

So I having trouble with the you took it away and he tek it back up part. Dat is pure lawlessness by the parents. From the time he tek um back up if he had so much audacity that he dare to try that, the X-Box would live up to its name cause it would have become an EX-box as in it used to be in this house but now its gone. I aint care hummuch um did cost. Gone. G O N E! dun way wid! loss way! mash up, thrown in the lake. Call of Duty? Looka by the time I finish wid dat game they woulda been calling it renederd unfit for duty or something so too.

And doan think that you as a chile living under my roof so big that you got you own money dat granny or cousin give you an you could buy a new wun an bring on my premises either cause dat wudda dun get fling out through a door too.

I starting to agree with Will Smith cause dese parents like they just don't understand. Course now is a case of them trying to close the gate after the horse done bolt. Cuhdear

Brain Age

Are any of you familiar with this Brain Age game? Its some game for the Nintendo DS which is supposed to increase your brain health. You know they say brain health and activity decrease as you get older so this game is supposed to help you maintain your brain health and keep the brain active and thinking. Yea likely idea but anyway.

On the subway, here in Toronto for the past three or so months I've been seeing a lot of ads for this Brain Age game. The ads come in different forms but generally feature two 40-50 something type persons one of whom is supposed to be using the Brain Age game and looks normal and another who apparently isnt using it and has a very small head, sort of reminds me of when Agent K shot off Tony Shaloub's head in the first MIB. I guess its supposed to portray that if you dont use your brain it shrinks.

Ok not a bad marketing campaign I suppose as it does sort of make its point.

My issue though is how come every ad I see with the couple, the person with the smaller head is always male? Wha dem trying to say about we man?

First off is a likkle sexist. If it was a woman portrayed wid atiny head an a man with a normal sized one I know nuff groups would be up in arms saying men downpressing woman and crying discrimination and lawsuits and is things so why woman cant get ahead. But I guess is alright to poke fun at man. cha!

Is just like dem sitcoms. The woman always got more sense than the man. Dat not true! Is nuff stupid stupid women out there too. Hollywood a lie as usual.

Anyway someone else blogged about the brain age thing I see and they were saying since women more likely to suffer from dementia as they age than men (I just going on what they say I din research it to see if is true) well how come is the fella dat have the small head. Maybe because women dont buy video games anyways.

Whatever! Still me an my small head self aint playing no brain age in fact I more likely to boycott the whole DS thing for that portrayal so them loss money wid people like me right now.

Boo!

The return

I thought there was a bit of bias in this Sports Illustrated article on Usain and Shelly Ann's return to Jamaica. You decide for yourselves.

For the record

Saw the bajan play Going for Love last night. To be honest the turnout was a bit disappointing considering its only showing two nights here in Toronto and I've been to Laff it Off in that same venue and the place was packed to the balconies.

Its received great reviews having played at home in Barbados and in Guyana at this years Carifesta.

The play centers around Curtis and Velda, a married couple, played by Anderson Armstrong (of Square One fame) and Carla Springer. Velda has just returned to Barbados from Boston where she lives and is trying to convince Curtis to move back there with her. It gets a little complicated as the play goes on and it does have its moments of comedy and truth mixed in.

The actors were really really great but in my opinion the storyline was a little stereotypical (think Tyler Perry) at points and the male character really wasn't written with consistency. Sorry thats just my opinion.

I will leff it there.

Joe da plumber

Last night's debate was rather boring as most of the debates were anyways. A few points though

1) Who is this Joe da Plumber dude, is he related to Joe sixpack. Is he Joe Sixpack or is Joe da Plumber a Biden alias?

2) McCain was hilarious when he was playing the wounded victim over Rep.Senator John Lewis' comments. I half expected him to break into tears. Whatever guy!

3) McCain called Palin an expert on autism. I've been corrected that Palin's child actually has Down Syndrome but nevertheless lets just image the child had autism. How can you call someone an expert with just 5 months of experience? Now if she had a 12 year old disabled child I could buy that but 5 months really? I guess it was more of the I can see Russia from my front door so I'm a foreign relations expert logic.

4) Whats the big deal with Universal health care? The U.S treats this whole subject like we're asking them to forsake Democracy and institute communism. I'm not saying Universal Health Care is perfect but its really not as bad as you guys make it seem. Even when a health plan sounds like its close to Universal health care they always have to make this disclaimer that its not the same. Seems so silly to me. Plus the US government just took over some banks. Isnt it more socialist to take over banks than to have Universal health care?

5) Have you noticed Obama has a bit of griot in him? He's always trying to tell a story involving real people. "Like the recently laid off carpenter in Boise Idaho who I met last week who is worried about paying for his daughters college education or the midget that I met in Youngstown Pennslvania whose house had been repossessed". De man full a story

Oh and for those interested in the outcome of the Canadian elections. Basically it was a waste of 300 million dollars as the Conservatives won another minority government. We'll probably have another one of these things in a year or so.

ps: I'm thinking if Obama wins and I stress if, then on November 5th we should all blog about it and by all I mean Caribbean, Canadian, American, all you cats that comment here. anybody with me?

Election Day

Today is election day in Canada. My prediction is that the ruling party wins another minority government and we see another election in a year and a half or two. To be honest I believe the average Canadian is rather apathetic about federal politics and elections at the moment. We could care less, none of our potential leaders are awe inspiring anyways.

Maybe that's why so many of us are interested in the Presidential election down south in the US. Actually most of us are more interested in that election than we are in this one. Blame it on Obama perhaps. Yesterday driving down York-Durham townline road I saw a sign next to the roadway saying honk three times for Obama. Today's Toronto Star ran a cartoon with a ballot with the names of the four leaders of the federal parties here and Obama name with Obama's ticked off on the ballot. Yep he would get votes here actually he is so popular that he'd win a landslide here, well at least in the urban areas.

Still this whole Obama thing and our own Canadian elections got me thinking. When will we see our own version of Obama here in Canada? And by Obama I actually dont mean inspiring politicians although there has been a severe shortage of those here lately and it would be nice to have someone who could bring some energy and make us interested in politics again. No what I mean is when will we see our own homegrown minority party leader and Prime Minister?

Yes Canada prides iteslf in being more Liberal than the US and we did had a female prime minister in Kim Campbell back in the 90s but she actually just inherited Mullroney's mandate and when elections were called she was summarily dismissed. But for all that is there any minority who's close to being the leader of a Canadian major party and vying for the post of prime minister?

Not that I can think of.

Look I accept it most likely wont be someone black. There's not a big enough or united enough black caucus here for us to push an Obama type that far up the power chain but the South Asian and Asian populations here, at least in most of the bigger urban centres, are pretty big and should be able to get someone up to those higher echelons of power. So why hasnt it happened yet? Why are the major parties here still mainly the bastion of white men and a few women?

Is it because outside of the main urban areas like Toronto, Monteal and Vancouver minorities still have no real pull? I dont know. I just wish we had some color at the top of our political parties or at least someone minority vying for that leadership when the party's held their conferences.

Maybe it'd help out with the dearth of charisma and personality at the top of the heap here. Or maybe not but it might put some interest back in Canadian politics. At least then we could debate on how whether we really are as liberal as we say we are.

Pistol Proof

Always calm under pressure no need to act ill
You gots to chill - EPMD


Ok so last night's town hall meeting between Obama and McCain was kind of boring.

McCain really couldn't hide his general dislike for Obama though and I found he was way out of order with his "That one" comment directed at Obama. Even ignoring any possible racial overtones, it was still the sort of response that made you almost forget the question to which it was the answer (something about Obama voting with Bush on some issue I believe) and just made you see McCain as a rude, arrogant old man with no respect, who oozes contempt for his younger opponent. It was well rude and outta place!

And not only did he use "That one" in reference to Obama but he pointed as well. It wasn't a full on turn around and point but he did point without looking directly at Obama. Hmmm well maybe not looking at him said something as well.

The comment and the gesture was like emphasising that you were so upset with this person, that they had done something so wrong that you just couldn't bring yourself to utter their name to look them in the face. It was terrible.

"It was he cross deyso, he is the body dat do it, he yes he, that wun deyso."

That was how I read that comment and anyone who has been pointed out like that knows its not a nice way to be referred to.

I must say though without regard of any other aspect of the presidential race that Obama has shown himself to be presidential material just by his cool manner. And I'm not talking about cool as in his being hip or well liked I'm speaking about his grace under fire, what seventeenth century Caribbean buccaneers referred to as being "pistol proof".

I mean speaking for myself if I had been referred to as such well if I didn't cuss out McCain directly last night at the very least I would let go two loud chupses or a serious cut eye in his direction. But Obama just lets it all roll off of him in a proverbial sticks and stones manner.

But it makes me wonder about these debates or should that be read as de-bait because it seems as if they are baiting Obama trying to make him lose his cool so that can catch him in the angry black man noose that they have waiting for him should he slip up. The entire Republican campaign has completely forsaken real issues for cheap shots at character and vague associations. They seem worried now and any semblance at decency and fair play has gone through the window.

But as the confusion swirls Obama has so far remained pistol proof, calm under pressure no need to act ill, letting it roll off his back like water off a duck's.

Less than a month to go should be interesting.

Shout outs

Palin winked a few times and at one point gave a shout-out — maybe the first shout-out of any vice presidential debate — to a third-grade class.

Wha de France I hearing doah?

The potential vice-president of the United States of America did not just get up in a televised debate and give a "shout out" to somebody. Ya lie! Wha next thing she gine be throwing up "A" signs, asking we to put lighters in the air, sending big ups to her crew in Juno, you kno and bragging on how many bodies she done killed, moose bodies that is. Oh wait she's probably already done that last one.

I mean I already knew, rather had hints she was sorta ghetto what given the chile names and the pregnant teenager but still she like she was trying to prove her bona fides last night.

Look there is a time and place for everything. I'm sorry but leave the colloquialisms to their time and place. A live nationally televised debate was not the place to give shout outs. It tells me your vocabulary is limited or you dont have the sense to know when to use certain types of language. Leave that sorta talk to the fellas on ESPN and Sportsnet and people like me dat duz blog. We aint running for nuttin besides a TTC bus on mornings.

How it would look if Obama was giving a presentation and say yea I wanta thank my boy O-G Joe Biden for hooking me up with these figures and Michelle for the slamming PowerPoint slides. ha you know I love you boo!

Everybody would be looking at the man like he gone off or something. Plus you would hear how he inarticulate and he ghetto and he sound like a rapper and all sort of stuff so. But let Palin do that and suddenly she folksy and cute and represent the everyday Joe sixpack.

Get the bleep outta here!

Oh and what was with the winking? Looka me an she aint nuh friends, we aint share no inside joke, so either she got an involuntary tick in she eye or she was trying to get fresh wid me pun tv. And she coulda at least wink at muh when the wife wasnt sitting next to me. Some a dese women aint got nuh sense nor nuh shame at all at all den.


Oh and just because.
maverick, maverick maverick maverick, maverick.
Sorry just had to get that out my system.
maverick
that was the last one promise

Too much too much

Saw a woman this week who literally turned heads. And not only those of men but those of women as well. The reason? Gravity defying breasts, the size and shape of actual bowling balls. Clearly cubic zirconia or rather fakes. I mean it was so bad that one lady walking along the street, staring back to take in the spectacle almost walked right into yours truly.

Now I'm sure the holder of the boulders thought she was the ish. I mean what with all that head turning and almost causing accidents an all but it should be noted that there is a fine line between spectacular and spectacle and sorry but the blow up doll look is not hot.

On another note, Fall fashion is always so interesting and diverse. Some people just cant come to terms with the change in weather and cling to their summer garb. That and the fact that we all feel cold differently (especially since many of Toronto's inhabitants originated in some very diverse locals) lead to sights like two individuals walking down the street with one in a t shirt and the other with a leather jacket and scarf or one in shorts and the other bundled up in a leggings and a pea coat. Would almost lead you to believe that we all have individual portable weather devices that we can control our personal environments with.

Then there was the lady I saw outside smoking yesterday. Wrapped up tight tight with a scarf around her neck yet wearing the flimsiest of camisoles (thank you for that word Miss Smith) with all her arms, shoulders and chest all exposed. Go figure.

PETA

In case you werent completetly convinced that PETA is run by a bunch of jackasses. Read here

If the well-meaning crusaders at PETA – People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals – were to pull off their latest publicity stunt, Ben & Jerry's ice cream parlours could end up being called Hooters.
That's because, this week, in a letter to company co-founders Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, PETA "urged" them to use human breast milk instead of cow's milk in their products.

Do I really need to point out why this makes no sense whatsoever?

Yea if I'm an animal I really really want these guys to be my advocates. But then again I guess PETA does do its job and make us feel sorry for the plight of animals. Poor animals cant even afford proper representation cause being represented by PETA is like some poor sap in court being represented by the pro bono lawyer who thinks legal briefs come in three packs from Fruit of the Looms. Cuhdear! Lets raise some funds so the animals can have proper representation and ditch these PETA bozos.

Caveat emptor

Agent: I know why we have reservations.

Jerry: I don't think you do. If you did, I'd have a car. See, you know how to
take the reservation, you just don't know how to *hold* the reservation and
that's really the most important part of the reservation, the holding. Anybody
can just take them.

The buyer is always right, well that is if he is a new customer.

Was reading Amadeo's blog about his dealings with Sprint and it got me thinking about the whole customer/ services seller relationship these days. (Pardon me if I've written about this before but its on my mind again.)

Everything these days in terms of service from companies is geared towards bringing in new customers. I see Banks giving away iPods to switch your accounts to them, phone companies throwing free phones at customers, credit card companies offering you low low low interest rates to join them, every single company these days its all about the new money.

Forget those cats who've been with your service for years, yea leave them there they are not the focus. Its like the accounting departments declared that company image and success is based on how many new customers they can get in a quarter. That not right man.

But what about those loyal customers? Its enough to give you that whole brother of the prodigal son feeling. "Wha I been here wid you fa donkey years and ya never even offer me two sweeties further less a free phone but ya can offer he cross deyso that was wid anudda carrier, rebates and bling and cheap cheap service. What am I chopped liver?"

I guess the theory is once they got you they got you and you're too much of a moron to think about switching services since its such a hassle and blah blah blah but shouldn't some thought be given into retaining clients?

Instead you duz gotta call and cuss, threaten to leave them or actually leave them. Then they duz be ringing down your house asking why you treat dem so and saying "sorry man, looka we got a special offer for you if you come back now we aint gine treat ya so bad nuhmore, looka hold this free installation, hookup, money back, coupons, bling, two shirley biscuits and a pack a tambrind balls."

No wonder the whole world economy getting mash up. Is cause of all this focus on the new clients I tell ya. They know how to get a new client they just don't know how to keep the one's they have happy. Or maybe they just don't give a .............

Play ya position

Now I'll start with the disclaimer that I'm not the most adventurous cat out there. Wouldn't exactly say I'm conservative but I do know what fits me and what doesn't fit me. That doesn't mean I play into the stereotype where folks dictate what I can and cannot do, it just means I know what I'm comfortable with and what I'm not comfortable with.

I live by the edict that whats good for the goose sometimes just isn't good for the gander and the old bajan saying "follow pattern kill cadogan" read you don't have to do what everybody else is doing. This goes for if not all well certainly many aspects of life ...... including fashion.

Now I have, and I'm certain so have you, seen many larger women and wished that they would follow my edicts instead of trying to slip into clothing that clearly was made for women who don't have their girth. The innocent bystander drawn to these sometimes horrible spectacles usually watches or cringes while wondering why the person in question decided to leave their home in the outfit in question.

The answer is never simple. Some folks just don't know how to dress properly and some are looking for attention seem to be the common camps into which the answers fall.

That has become common place but what is also becoming more common place is older folks who try to dress up like in bajan parlance "young yams". Lawd ave mercy!

Now I'm not hating. I'm not saying dress like an old fogey. I'm just saying when you reach a certain age every new style is not for you. That don't mean start dressing like your grandmother or grandfather, that just means use common sense while picking an outfit.

I mean, I'm in my 30s and I'm graying, I cant go out there in an oversized t-shirt longer than some women's skirts looking like Solja Boy or one of these new age rappers. I also probably couldn't get away with wearing my hair in corn row, even if I found that style even mildly attractive, so I stick to the styles that I'm comfortable with, that fit me, (although truth be told I haven't grown that far out of my college mode of dress much to my wife's chagrin) that look decent on me without looking like I'm trying too hard to be cool. That doesn't mean I wont incorporate something new every now and then but it just has to fit with the overall me. It cant overwhelm the image.

Well I really wish other folks would do the same. One of the current styles with the women these days is those lacy tops. Now to be honest when this style first came out a few years ago I thought that a large number of women had lost their mind and were forgetting to put on the rest of their clothes cause I remember these lacy tops from when I was growing up and my mother used to call them half slips or something so and wear them under dresses and blouses and the like. They also resemble lingerie so I almost went up to a woman one time and say "girl you like you run out the man house suh quick ya faget ya blouse".

Alas that was not the case. It was/is a genuine style. I still think its better suited for the bedroom mind you but I accept that its the in thing with the young girls and its considered cute and hey if they want to tantalize me and give me a glance at their assets in their lingerie tops who am I to complain. Not me!

Actually lol, my only real complaint and it really isn't a complaint more a suggestion so the women wont embarrass themselves is if you going to wear these flimsy things on the road wear the right undergarments. Hey the fellas ain't going complain but at the same time some of you ain't looking exactly decent with some of the things ya wearing but then again if ya comfortable so be it.

But like I said when you reach a certain age that style isn't for you. Today in the mall I saw a lady in her 50s in one of these lingerie tops. Now the young girls can get away with it and look cute in some cases but when ya reach a certain age and certain things don't sit like they used to when you was in ya teens and 20s you duz juss look lawless or half senile when you walking bout wearing one of those flimsy things with bra straps flying all over the place like ya rush out the house half dress and forget to put on a blouse over that top.

That is all I got to say.

The Digits

Dont feel like writing at all but whatever.

Times change.

Growing up I was never one of those really cool guys. Hell I aint that cool now come to think of it. So when it came to the females it was always difficult for me to get in there and blow them away with my wit, cha-risma, personality and charm and the like since well I have/had none to speak of.

Plus the one thing about girls is that they always travelled in packs, still do come to think of it. Safety mechanism maybe but for a shy guy downright scary cause its hard enough for a self-conscious teenager to work up the courage to chat to a girl, he's interested in, one on one but to talk to her while her formidable entourage (which may or may not include one of two girls who positively hate you guts) listens as you stammer and stutter and try to come up with something cool to say that to the guy could be like police interrogation.

Cause you know regardless of how well you planned out the conversation in your head before hand someone would throw a wrench in the plan and it would take a turn you hadnt foreseen. drats!

So we guys initially operated on the predator - prey model. Separate and attack. It was like in those cop shows and being on a stakeout and then sighting the suspect entering the building. You spot the girl moving away from the crowd and "All squads move in now now now! "

But alas those opportunities were usually short lived as the pack or herd or entourage seemed to always sense your plan and would move in swiftly leaving a slightly tall, gangly yout at a loss for words with his brain screaming "disengage I repeat disengage and retreat. wha you waiting for boy run way nuh!" (ps i'm writing this in first and third person for a reason.)

So anyway after a while, surveillance and stake-outs leading to frustration (damn I/this person sounds like a stalker) the whole point of the stake-outs was drawn sharply in focus. What was the purpose? Duhh to get the girls of course, stay focused son but no I mean we did the stake-outs, the short chats but then what? How do we get those chats to lead to longer chats, leading to walks and dates etc etc especially in the face of the quarterback protection defense run by the entourage?

It was then that every boy came up with the idea of getting the digits. The phone numbers. Why? Cause getting a phone number was the easiest way to make progress with a girl in a one on one situation without major embrassment. Separated by distance in familiar surroundings, she couldnt see you sweating and sad but true you could prepare talking points on cue cards just in case your brain froze. (hey I didnt say I did specifically, I'm just saying you could ok now back off)

The Digits! Getting them wasnt easy either but a conniving yout could always fabricate some story as to why he needed them for legitimate homework purposes or the like. And if he was smart he could always parlay one girls digits into other girls digits. It was like hacking into the mainframe. Once you're in you theoretically could go anywhere on the system.

So he could do the friend thing with one girl who he wasn't interested in and hence was less liable to sweat and have brain freeze around and so coul easily get the digits and use her to slip into that network and get digits for the girls he actually was interested in. Its called subterfuge! Whoo hoo! I mean or so I've been told.

Anyway this post wasnt supposed to go like this at all. It was supposed to be about how back in the day you had to walk with pen and paper to write down the digits (see the movie The Wood) as opposed to today whre you just pull out the cell phone and instantly save those digits but the post got hijacked from word one what can I say.

Still, my personal favourite story (see now this is about me as opposed to the rest that was just sort of a general overview, yea thats it a general overview, nothing personal at all, zero percent) about the digits is this girl who once gave me the digits in her digits but gave them to me scrambled. Ya think I telling lies? Nope. The girl gave me the individual numbers and tell me to figure out the phone number. Hey it was better than giving me a false phone number. I think so anyways.

So see me going through all sorts of permutations and combinations and trying to solve this number. Jdiddy loves himself a challenge!

Ya know the funny thing. I actually got the number! Perseverance and a whole heap a wrong numbers!

Yea I'm a nerd. What son what!

This n That

I really dont have any coherent thoughts. Sleep deficiency and allergy season will do that to ya. So anyways

1) Tv's back. yipee! Think I'm going to like the new series Fringe!

2) The Conservatives are going to kick series ass this election in Canada. I'm calling it as they finally get their majority. The Liberals are dithering.

3) It was like something from out of a movie in my opinion. Woman shoots man and throws body from moving car on a crowded highway. Oh and of course there was the obligatory police chase afterwards. Damn T-Dot is getting real.

4) Doesn't it make you wonder about our leaders when election campaigns become contests between childish individuals with feigned reactions to comments taken out of context. Like Obama called folks bitter a few months back and we're still on that and he made this pig comment yesterday and thats going to be news forever. Just grow up and deal with the issues. Damn!

5) Kardi's new album is pretty nice. However I find he rhymes like a toned down version of dancehall's Dr. Evil (as opposed to Austin Powers Dr Evil) on that Dangerous track with Akon.

6) Speaking of Austin Power's Dr Evil. Why'd that dude have to wear a nehru jacket? I've got conspiracy theories about that. I will be starting a campaign to bring back the Shirt Jac! Folks are going whats a shirt jac? If you're from north america you probably wouldnt get it. and i'm too tired to explain.

7) I've got a 10 reason's Obama will not win the election idea rattling around in my head. #10 because non-Americans love him to death. #9 because this election isnt about the issues, #8 because he's muslim (or at least some american still think he is), #7 because he will be mauled to death by a pack of rabid hockey moms, #6 because Michelle is a black revolutionary (power to the people), #5 because he's elitist, ... well i'll leave the rest for now but you get the drift.

Barack 2 de Future

That title catch allya right?

Well sorry to disappoint but this sentence isn't about neither him nor miss Palin fence or whatever she name cause like many people I well tired of the U.S elections.

So just to mock me the Canadian PM decide to call elections up here for October 14th. Chupse!

Look man I tired a all this politics. The problem with the U.S is that their election campaign duz last almost the length of the whole presidential term. I mean Caucuses and Primaries, secondaries, conventions, nomination speeches, delegates and super-delegates (which at first I thought was when somebody like Spider-man endorse ya) no wonder at the end they duz talk about electoral colleges cause this thing duz last so long that you could have a degree in politics by the time it finish.

Up here in Canada is different, is about a month of campaigning, and bram election. We election starting and ending quick quick all the while US people on CNN giving longwinded speeches still and the electorate getting bored, apethetic and tuning out.

The problem with elections up here though is even though they short in terms of the time scale, compared to the U.S, they happening way too often. Three elections in the last four years. Wha that dont even give the PM time to order new furnitures from IKEA to redecorate the office properly or unpack he files and shred the damning evidence he might have hidden in them.

And another thing I dont like is how come this current PM like to call elections right after holidays? Last election was just after Christmas 2006 and new years 2007, this one the day after thanksgiving. I think that is some sorta ploy he got to trick people. I feel like he think all we going be hungover or half drunk after the holiday and going look more favorably on him but I hope people realize that he trying to offset the holiday spirit with all this election talk. Oh well he'll probably win again anyways. We aphathetic cause too much elections just as bad as one long drawn out election plus none of them Canadian politicians as charismatic as Barack. Wha we would even be happy if they was as charismatic as McCain to tell the truth. Chupse!

Anyway Guyana Girl, one a me favourite blogs, nominate me for this thing hayso



I really not sure what it is but she write a few nice words bout me so I thankful and I say I going pass it on to somebody else.

The rules is as follows:

a.) Pick five (5) blogs that you consider deserve this award for their creativity, design, interesting material, and also for contributing to the blogging community, no matter what language.

(b.) Each award has to have the name of the author and also a link to his or her blog to be visited by everyone.

(c.) Each award winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given her or him the award itself.

(d.) Award-winner and the one who has given the prize have to show the link of Arte y Pico blog, so everyone will know the origin of this award.

Okay, here I go:

1) Amadeo is one of my favorite bloggers. There is just something about the way he breaks down things that make me think of certain situations from a different perspective. Ya know like he will write something and you'll read it and think but wait that makes a lot of sense how come I never think of things like that before. Eye opening.

2)Pam Mordecai@Jahworld is another nice blogger. Deep, deep thoughts mostly from a literary perspective. Like I cant read her blog and be half into it. I have to give it my full attention. Plus she's from the T-dot so you know she has to get props.

3)This Vincy fella Will. I just discovered him a few months ago but I like his way with language. I duz read him and think sometimes boy I wish I could sway my words to do my bidding like that.

4) Mighty Afroditee is an interesting one. She has a way with the storytelling. Always making me smile. Hey storytelling aint easy ya kno? It tek a certain person to pull a proper story from a situation. Read the one about how she hasn't mastered the art of shoe throwing. I tell ya this young generation tisk tisk :-)

5)The Empress Ruthibelle. Well I only discover this one a month or two back too but I like it. Actually I think is only a few months old but I think this blog has loads of potential.

Dey say 5 so I going to just leave it there although ya kno that dont mean you cant stop by and visit perennial Jdid favourites like Melody and Kami and de Blogfadda Mad Bull.

Palin punch

Before I start I'd just like to distance myself from the Obama campaign before he's forced to repudiate me and my comments.

Just watched Sarah Palin's speech at the Republican convention. Wasn't particularly impressed. Felt like she pandered a bit in the beginning with her whole this is my life segment. Here's my eldest son he's going off to Iraq to be shot at. Here's my baby with a disability which now makes me more in touch with all you folk with kids with diasabilities.

Seems like Obama was right and the Republicans are trying to make this more about personalities than about issues. She tried to attack Obama on some trivial stuff that he's been attacked on before, she didnt break new ground and with her Tina Fey look and those weak punchlines was it just me or was anyone else expecting her to break into "Live fom New York its Saturday night"?

Got to say though that this Palin pick is pretty crazy. I mean on the surface I thought they just wanted a female pick to offset Obama but Palin really? That was your best choice? Iwas thinking maybe they pulled the name out of a hat but then I thought if they did that her name should never even have been in the hat in the first place. I mean I'm never seen more dirt dished about a candidate in such a short space of time than with her. One can only wonder whats going to shake out of her closet when the researchers have more time to dig into her background.

The big issue has been her pregnant daughter. Now to me its really not that big a deal but then it is since she's the VP family values candidate of the Republicans and it really is hypocitical when you think of what the Republicans would have you think of the fact that Palin's 17 year old daughter is pregnant. Can you imagine what would be said if one of Obama's daughters was pregnant at 17 and how much flack he and Michelle would have gotten about that? Yea exactly! So why shouldnt Palin and her husband get flack now?

Still much props to the dude who knocked her up because he's soon going to be the most famous baby father in America. He needs some "Best baby fadda ina America" t-shirts made up cause K-Fed just got straight knocked out the box! Bloaaw!

Fresh for 08

I was a terror since the public school era. - Biggie

Today is the end of summer or the first day of school depending on which way you see it. I was reminded of this from the time I got on the bus this morning and saw the high school neophytes with their faces filled with that mixture of eagerness and anxiety.

Apparently learning to keep your eyeballs to yourself and not stare at big people is a skill they teach in high school now cause one fresh yout was eyeballing me hard until I gave him my best old school Ice Cube look. That'll teach him. jdid doing his part for edumacation.

Anyway its so nice to see them before they get corrupted and become the loud, obnoxious terrors posing like they hard that they will be in two weeks time, slouched over the bus seats or with their bags riding next to them like they think their bags paid bus fare and I should stand up. You best to move that ish son!

I barely remember my first day of primary school or high school just odd stories from my mom about how I just took off and never looked back in both cases. I do remember my first day at University though and all the drama and trauma that it entailed: going to the Brunny(first and last time ever), really dumb ass initiation rituals, getting attacked by students from another faculty, etc etc but I wont recount it in detail because I just dont want to and to be honest after high school I really expected University students to act more like adults as opposed to alcoholic morons. University students adults ha! Shows how much I had to learn back then.

And I was 19 at the time so you can imagine what its like these days with Ontario churning out force ripe high school grads at the ripe old age of 17. Downright scary!

And you can see it on the faces of the frosh (freshmen) who I saw on the subway this morning. "Aint even lose their mother features" would be the phrase to best apply here. Clueless, wide-eyed, but maybe not so innocent. Think they know but really haven't the foggiest. Its a right of passage I guess but still you see these kids and really wonder was I ever that young? Well I know I wasn't that young in first year university but maybe I was that naive, that fresh faced, that whats the opposite of Jdid again?

Eventually it disappears. The weight of having to make adult decisions, living on your own, balancing a budget, the endless drudge of the commute, balancing school and work, the endless lectures about professionalism, pulling all-nighters to hand in, in the grand scheme of things, meaningless assignments that masquerade as important feats to be performed, etc slowly sucks away if not that youthful energy that young, fresh and green appearance.

They name it gaining experience and it is good to have to survive life but like every other situation where someone says its progress something had to be given up in order to make that progress. A so it a go!