Got this email today from posting my resume on monster.com a long long while back. Edited it a slight bit.
"The U.S. Naval Reserve"
THE UNITED STATES NAVAL RECRUITING COMMAND
Did you know that your particular skills could help you lead a more complete life and build a better career in the U.S. Naval Reserve?
We currently have a variety of challenging opportunities related to almost every ****** discipline. Within our officer ranks, we have openings in ******* as well as opportunities for Oceanographers. In our enlisted ranks, we have opportunities for Aviation Mechanics, Operations Specialists, and a variety of positions within the Naval Reserve that require a background in ******.
In exchange for your part-time commitment, you will receive countless benefits and rewards. You will also receive advanced vocational training and undergo unique experiences that are unrivaled in the civilian world.
One of the greatest benefits of joining the Naval Reserve is that you won't have to sacrifice your personal life to serve. Your training sessions will almost always be with the Naval Reserve unit located closest to your home.
To learn more about the Naval Reserve, we encourage you to visit navalreserve.com. Or, if you would like a Naval Reserve representative to contact you directly, please click here.
Oh shoot, George Bush want me! Dem see me write bout the beach back home an dreaming bout diving an wanta put me in the navy. Nexx ting ya see me in Iraq wid a guttaperk (slingshot) and two big rocks whilst men in turbans chasing muh down. Cuhdear! Looka I gine guh an change me name ta Bin Runnin an disappear in a cave sumwhere. I aint tellin nun a wunnah where doah cause fa all I know wunnah coulda be de body dat sell muh out.
De wife say it aint soun suh bad. Doan mind she, she and Dubya musse got a lil King David, Bathesheba thing gine on and got me playing the role of Uriah. If wunnah doan read wunnah bible I aint explaining dat wun ta wunnah.
We're in the army now and not behind the plow , you'll never get rich you......