Out with the old....

Happy New year everyone.

Well I don't usually make resolutions for the new year. Why bother its not like I actually keep them.

I do like to make a few goals though but usually I keep them closely guarded and this years no different. Only specific one I'll share is the need to really do something with my poetry. Not sure what that is exactly (please no performance talk) but my motivation is continually seeing Tupac's old throwaway material getting released years after his death and going to the Modagliani exhibit and seeing exhibits of his sketches on display that I'm sure he didn't want the public to see. Kind of brought home to me that I don't want the wife and inlaws getting rich off my work when I'm dead when I could get a few dollars off of it while I'm alive. fa real! LOL. Ok that was a joke..........partially. But seriously I'd rather hear how much crap my work is while I'm living that get posthumous praise I cant hear. Still not sure if the work is good or not. Usually I'm convinced it isn't but at least I got to do something with it so I can move on. Its got to be done. Could use some help with editing though. Any volunteers? :-)

Hopefully 2005 will be a healthier year for me. I've never had so many injuries and illnesses as I did in 2004 and I pray to God that 2005 is better. I'll try to do my part on that end and I hope he helps out a bit too.

Oh wait don't want to be all gloom today but lets all remember those who have passed away this year from natural causes, illnesses, natural disasters, violent deaths and everything in between. Rest in peace.

Well goodbye 2004. Personally you weren't my favorite year, not to say there wasn't any good but I had lots of trials and tribulations as well and I think those come to mind more when I think of this year. Still although my mental status is questionable I survived. I'm sure lots of folks in Grenada, Caymans, Jamaica, Asia, Florida, Iraq and indeed all over the world will agree with me on that one. But then no one expects life to be a bed of roses. Its better to be down than six feet down is my motto.

Hopefully though 2005 will be a better one for the entire world. I'm not the most optimistic guy out there but for this one day I'll share those sentiments (tomorrow I'll be back to my the world has gone to hell in a handbasket mentality).


In closing though, one good thing about 2004 for me was my discovery of this whole blog thing. Wicked! Yea I know some folk like Dr D been doing this forever but I think 2004 was the year most of us discovered this blogging. Got to say the Internet was starting to get a bit boring for me but I kind of like blogging (when I can actually get past the writers block). Got some interesting ideas from you interesting folks here in blogworld these last few months. Don't know any of you personally besides Wigit and Campfyah but I enjoy everyone's writing and I find it rather inspirational at times so to all of you keep it up.

And to all my blog friends and readers here's wishing you a happy and a prosperous new year. May God continue to keep you all safe.

Hectic

lawd ave mercy I been chipping since Christmas aint even had time to blog.

First off the computer mash up again. Think I figured out what the main problem was this time though (something rather simple if I'm right) and I'm trying to solve it. Still it took a good few hours to finally get anything working this morning so I tired. If it crash again though I think I playing football with the harddrive. LOL

Then I was just rather busy otherwise. Doing shopping for things around the house and trying to do some personal shopping too with all the sales on after Christmas. Only thing is I really aint see what all the hoopla was about because most of the socalled sales weren't anything special.

Anyway with all the hustle and bustle plus spending nuff time infront the tv watching the tragedy that hit Indonesia and Sri Lanka and them places I haven't had the time to be really introspective about the past year.

Still I think tonight I just relaxing. Going and read a nice book now and get a nap and think about life and the new year and accomplishments and all that sort of thing.

If the computer still working tomorrow I will blog about the coming of the new year/passing of the old. If it aint well Happy New Year to everyone from now.

The one thing about this Christmas ......

That I missed the most aside from the sunshine and the warmth was the lack of cake. Ya believe that for the whole season I have yet to have one slice of Great (black) Cake, or pudding or sweet bread.

Had Chocolate cake last night and was offering some other pastry things but for a true West Indian like me this thing just not right at all. It just take away from the experience.

Seriously it just takes away some of the seasonal spirit. I suffering! sigh!

Dubai - June 23rd 1999

I still having problems with my thoughts but I was just talking to a friend of mine and he told me that I was one of the original bloggers from back in the day because in 1999 when I was in Dubai I used to send out these mass emails to all my friends detailing some of the stuff that I was seeing around me over there. I never thought of it that way but I have all of my old emails saved from back then and I decided to go take a look and post you one or two in the next few days. Some of them are pretty funny and they bring back some good memories so indulge me for a few as I take you back into time to a time when I was as just as mad as I am today. :-) The emails were fairly long so I will try and just edit them down a bit for you.

oh let me set the scene. Think I got to Dubai at the beginning of June 1999 to work on a 3 years contract (which I ended up cutting to 6 months, long long story) so this was after being there maybe two or at most three weeks.
---------------------------------------------

Not try to diss the muslims or anything so but where ever ya go ya duz find a idiot. I realize that some of these people like they not too right in their heads.

Now check this out. I on the road last night on a pedestrian overpass doing some work with some other guys when this couple in traditional Muslim garb walked past us. Now the woman was covered up from head to toe in the loose fitting black outfit that those Muslim women wear with her face cover up and all you can see is her eyes.

Anyway she actually didn't look that bad cause I figure out how to tell what kind of figure the women got even with all that loose fitting foolishness them wearing (necessity is de mudda of invention I tell ya) and I realize that the woman like she
had a few curves.

Still all you could really see is her eyes. Couldn't even see the sandals she was wearing. So we're all on the overpass above the highway and the guy in the couple got to the middle of the overpass and then called over one of us to take a picture of first the woman and then him and then the both of them together. Guess they were tourists to Dubai.

Now I don't know if it was just me or not but what was the point of taking the picture of a woman and all you can see is her eyes. You cant tell her from none of the other
Muslim women, chupse!! I mean ya could replace her with a mannequin in the same outfit and nobody aint gine know the difference. (actually dat gives me sum ideas fa de group photo of my harem hmmmm). I mean, come on now. Even the two Muslim fellas with me were thinking the same thing. An wunnah duz call me foolish. LOL

I mean you could imagine this same fellow 40 years from now with his grandchildren looking at these pictures. "look kids here is a picture of your grandma when we were visiting Dubai, wasn't she something to look at in those days? She looks just like
your mother don't you think, ya cant see the family resemblance?" ........................

On a serious note doah, de fellas tryin ta mek muh understand de traditional woman dress.............

Plus the fellas tell me that the Muslim women wear real pretty clothes under the black thing that them got covering them. Hello!!!!!!! Is it just me or does it matter what they wearing under that. I mean that aint no help to me because all I seeing is the big loose fitting black silk thing. That aint no help to a brother. I mean lets be honest now, if I speaking as a fella, and I got to use my imagination to figure out what a woman wearing under that thing I aint going to waste no imagination wid nuh pretty dresses. Helllll no! I going ta be imagining other things. Dat aint true? But doan worry though I got my pick up lines covered. Just wait I might be the first bajan fella to go up to a woman an tell her that the first ting that attract muh ta she was she eyes an actually mean it.

Apres Christmas

Well I'm having the hardest time getting back into a blogging mood. Something about Christmas seems to have sapped my writing energy. I just feel lawless :-)

Actually Christmas was good for me. We had lots of snow and I still need to go out in the morning and shovel (sigh) and though I missed Christmas in the sunshine and with the folks at home I tried to make the best of it.

Anyway not much to say today. Like I said I'm having a hard time writing. I guess the only thing really on my mind is actually pretty somber for this time of year so I'm kind of wavering on whether to talk about it. Oh well why not.

Well this year's Christmas was rather sobering for me. Thursday night I found out that a real close friend of mine had a heart attack (she's alive and out of the hospital recovering thank God) and then on Friday I found out that another friend of mine here had lost a brother and some other family members this season. So all in all the seasonal celebrations for me have been tempered by a lot of somber thoughts. Think I did a post about death a while back though so I wont repeat myself.

Suffice is to say that while some are celebrating some are grieving and some are recovering. That's life I guess.

Merry Christmas

Just taking a short break from cooking up a storm to wish all a Merry Christmas. Enjoy yourselves folks.

Two days before Christmas

Sing we Noel, Calypso Noel
Sing we Noel, sing sing sing sing
Sing we Noel, calypso Noel
sing we Noel sing

Cant believe I forgot to include that song in my last post. Also cant believe I didn't mention all the shelling of green peas and the preparation of sorrel. Oh well. Like I said I rush that post out.

Ok I know I promised I'd continue the story I started on Tuesday but I just haven't had the time. I think I'll probably do that for next week or this weekend sometime and let you know all about those Church Christmas programs. Hopefully someone out there will still be in the Christmas spirit.

Forgot to change my voice mail to say I'm off work and just checked this morning and saw that I have 2 messages to deal with. Being on call sucks but dem fellas gine have to wait cause it doesn't sound urgent.

We had our first major snowfall of the year yesterday and its still snowing all like now. Someone help , I'm buried under this stuff. Seriously I heard that about 15 inches fall.

Yesterday I did some last minute mall shopping. Some interesting observations. The mall hummed, like it had its own frequency. I guess it was because of the load of folk that were there. Anyway it wasn't as bad as it could have been. All in all despite the talk about how good sales have been this year for retailers I don't see it in terms of the number of people I've seen when shopping. Not that I'm complaining but somehow the figures don't add up. Or maybe I'm shopping at times when others are shopping. Oh well , I aint going to complain if I actually have a little room to breathe in the mall.

Also what's with some of these sales attendants in the female clothing stores these days. Some of them duz be half naked an ting these days. Went in one store yesterday and this girl was assisting me and she was wearing this low cut top and low rise jeans and all I seeing is bare bare skin. Looked around the store and noticed she wasn't an anomaly, all the rest of girls was in the same state of undress with them bellies out, their breast push up and some bottom showing too. Not that I'm going to complain but really. So wait they feel dat gine mek me spend more money or what? LOL. All the talk though I think you might see me have to go back to that store regular to 'shop'. :-)

Oh and the music in some stores is terrible. Techno versions of Jingle Bells just doesn't cut it. Also music that's inappropriate. Like I went in one store and they were playing Sean Paul and then G Unit. The Sean Paul isn't that bad but the G unit every other word was bleeped out. Now as a man that listens to alot of hip hop I'm probably being hypocritical but to me there is an appropriate time and place for this music. The mall at Christmas crawling with kiddie is not it.

Anyway today is sort of a lazy day. Some laundry, some preparation for Christmas, a bit of cleaning and off course a mammoth undertaking of snow shovelling sometime this afternoon when the snow finally stops oh and I guess at some point I'll have to call in and answer those guys at work but I'm also trying to relax some so I am planning on trying to watch all of The Lord of the Rings Trilogy Extended Editions sometime between today and tomorrow evening. Lawd ave mercy is like 14 -15 hrs of TV.

Anyway since I assume that everyone is going to for the most part be busy for Christmas in the next few days I probably wont post too much and I'll take this time to extend a Christmas greeting to all my blogger friends and my readers in lands far and near. Have yourselves a merry merry Christmas but don't overdo :-) and remember keep the Christ in Christmas.

And one of you guys in the Caribbean send me a bottle a sunshine, two bottles a sea water and a pound a sand.

Ol Time Christmas come back agin!

de de do do doo doo doo

I took the role of lead singer
Parang soca in Arima
Fans heard of my parang band so thousands flocked the grandstand
Ne-ville Cook was the mc
When he introduced me
People jumping like carnival
To my rendition of serenal??

Alpacata alpacata
Who no rampu no paratha
Maria Maria Maria!
Me chorosong
From Port o Spain to Faisabad everybody know Jdid mad
Maria Maria Maria
Me chorosong

Was listening to Crazy sing some parang yesterday trying to get myself into the real Christmas spirit. Didn't work lol. Might be too late for me but give me the old time parang, a ham cutter and

"a gallon a rum, a gallon a rum, all I want is a gallon a rum
..........ya bring ya family ta eat me out
and then in January cant even buy a stoute".

So my selector rewind cause, ol time Christmas come back agin if not for real at least in my memories. For me it was all about the music, the food and the Christmas program at the Church.

Christmas back then to me was more that the one day. There was so much anticipation as a child of that Christmas day that sometimes the actual day was a bit anticlimactic. But leading up to that day oh wow!

The music I already touched on and will continue to talk about. In Barbados from the time December 1st hit, bram! Christmas music would be pounding down on CBC and VOB. Big tunes like this one in spouge:

wha ya gonna gi me fa Christmas I need something from you
give me something for Christmas boy and I'll give you something too

and this one in parang

Hurray hurray hurrah!
Hurrah hurrah dey say!
Our savior was born today
It was through his light
While a shepherds (plight)??
for they just could’t believe dere eyes
And when he come a man
Ya kno dem non-christian, get tagetha an pound nails in he hand
And on the third day he rose again
So ya see he shed his blood fa we!

When you heard songs like that it just put you in the proper frame of mind for the season. Everybody painting the house and putting up new curtains, making everything look pretty, pretty, pretty just trying to get everything looking special for that one day. Moving the furniture around and choosing some nice bright colors for the inside and outside walls. All like now, I would have paint in my hair, on my hands, on my skin and be trying to use the turpentine to wipe it off but just ending up with my skin looking dry and scaly.

Verandas and outside walls being painted in bright colors as everyone tries to outdo their neighbor in the painting arena. Everybody turn superstar painter like dem middle name is Picasso.

Santa Clause, do you ever come to the ghetto (ghettoe-oo!)
Santa Clause, do you ever wonder why we suffer so
Santa Clause, When will you come to the ghetto (ghettoe-oo!)
Santa Clause, we would love to see how those reindeers go.
We aint gonna fuss,
We aint gonna fight,
But where are the presents that you brought for us.

The curtains made from fabric that you bought down by Swan Street or Kirpilani or from Miss Ram or that you 'truss' from the coolie man in the suzuki van who would then have hell to get certain folks to pay. Tek care he doan put the steel donkey pun ya! All sort of designs of fabric which the women would sit at night and slowly turn into curtains for each window and of course they had to match the colors of the house. Couldn't have a new paint job without new matching curtains cause that would look like ya aint got no style. But you would wait till Christmas eve or a day or two before Christmas to get up on the chair and put them up.

(baron version)
Mumma mumma
Would you like to join your sonnie
I am over here happy in this cold cold country
Darling for this Christmas
I hope everything is happy
come and join the chorus cause we will be having a party

Meanwhile the fruit for the great cake was steeping in rum, brandy and wine since long time gone in September or even before that. Cherries, Raisins, Currents, mixed peel, that you had to help grind up in one of those old fashion hand mixers, all seeping up the alcohol. I tell ya, If ya eat two pieces of that cake when it dun, ya best not be driving anywhere lest the policeman ketch ya..Matter a fact ya eat two pieces of that cake ya gine sleep cause that thing potent after all the fruit absorb all that liquor.

And that cake taste real nice. Almost as nice as the ham when you cut off three slice and eat wid two sodabix or put it in a fresh salt bread and add a lil pepper sauce. Something bout a Christmas hamcutter that just taste better than any other sandwich in the world back then.

Everything nice, nice and in abundance. Nice n Nuff! About a day or two before Christmas suddenly ya nostrils perk up like when the dog smell he dinner on the way. I talking bout them pot starvers (mongrels) we used to own dat was real dogs not these poor great North American pretenders that cant even chew two bones. Is Kibbles and Bits fa them if ya please! No leftovers! Wha up ta last week I was telling the wife dat back when I was growing up we din need no recycling green bin for leftovers, we had a natural recycling device he did name Rover or Spot or Blackie or Brownie or sometimes he was just de Dog. But nowadays dogs get posh and only eating brand name, store bought food. What a ting! Chupse!

Anyway I digress. Selector bring back some music to set the mood

I've got that old feeling
that seems to fill the air
Its Christmas in my Caribbean land
and though there's no snow or sleigh bells to be heard
this feelings oh so grand!
now soon the bells will be ringing
choirs singing in good cheer
and old forgotten friends are brought to mind
oh tell me of this feeling
why cant this Christmas feeling exist amongst all people through the year (oh yea!)

I going wake up real merry
bake me jug and me turkey........

Not much Christmas lights when I was growing up. Too expensive. Just one or two houses did that but you would sweep up the front yard after ya finish paint and the poinsettia and the snow on the mountain would be blooming so the place looking colorful still.

Two nights before Christmas your nostrils would light up from the scents wafting in over the breeze. It started the first night with sweet bread, Great cake and pudding and continued into the second night with the meats; delicious ham, succulent pork, turkey, chicken with the gizzards as stuffing. Heavenly scents! Everyone in the neighborhood baking at the same time and started a day or two before Christmas because the ovens small and ya baking enough to feed two armies because when anyone stop by the house you got to offer them at least a slice of pudding and sweetbread and depending on how much you like them possibly even some great cake. And all ya hearing;

Maizie in all in this heat
Wine up under the Christmas tree
Maizie I am vex because
ya making movements wid Santa clause

Maizie where is the Reindeer
Maizie I aint see no sleigh
If he have no reindeer no sleigh?
Came on BWIA

And of course as a child you don't want dinner those days when you start smelling those scents because you're hoping for a first slice of cake or meat that night and you staying up late dreaming of hot sweet bread washed down with a cold soft drink from the 2 or 3 cases that got bought from the drinks truck when it was up the street earlier that week by the village shop. A few weeks before ya had to go out in the yard, collect up all the empty drinks bottles to make sure you had a full case. Then wash out all the insects and cobwebs from those bottles cause you couldn't go and give the drinks man no nasty bottles ya kno! It wun look propa!

Then you had to make sure you knew what day the drinks trucks came to the village shop. The Banks truck came on Tuesday and the Ju-C truck Wednesday so all Tuesday and Wednesday ya trying ta keep a look out for the truck or if ya smart ya tell the shopkeeper ta give ya a call when the fellas reach. Tiger Malt and Plus, Sprite, Ju-C, Bim and Frutee in all sorts of flavors from Kola Champagne to Pineapple and Banana and even Sorrel Flavored although the sorrel flavor ones aint taste as sweet as the real thing. Ya wud tell the drinks man ta mek sure he doan gi ya nuh stale drinks cause if ya open dem an dem flat ya gine be vex. But those drinks had to last into January so you couldn't start drinking too early although if nobody looking you might sneak way one and even sneak a lil Falurnum in the drink to spice it up. :-)

But ya din have ta do dat too often cause first ya frighten ya get ketch and secondly ya had sorrel.

Drink a rum an a punch a crema
Drink a rum
Is Christmas morning
Drink a rum and a punch a crema
mama drink if ya drinkin

Christmas eve night everything in full gear. The cakes mostly done bake unless ya run outta gas and din smart enuff ta have a spare bottle in the house. I mean ya kno is nuff nuff baking to do so ya shoulda been prepared. If not ya got to head down to the gas station and buy a new bottle.
Its all the scent of meat baking that you sniffing in the air. And the sky bright with stars and outside chilly but you still pushing ya nose through the jalousie(jealousie) window or sitting down on the step with the rest of kids indulging the sense of smell and being overcome by that feeling of Christmas. The air smelling sweet, the stars looking brighter, the air just feeling sort of tingly on ya body. You can taste the excitement or is that smell it.

You cant wait for the Christmas morning.

Looka though this blog getting too long (and it kinda rough cause I was rushing it). Selector bring out my favorite tune fa de people dem. I coming back tomorrow to talk about the Christmas Church program. Feel free to leave a comment and tell me bout ya Christmas experiences. Bless!

One Christmas eve casually I was walking down the street
One Christmas eve casually I was walking down the street
I was attracted by the voice of a lil boy
as he strolled along the street no shoes on his feet
as he walked he continued to repeat

Listen Mama I want you to tell Santa Clause
To bring a trumpet and a consantina for me
I'm so lonely and have no children close by me
ma you don't kno how happy your son would be

Retail workers

'I hate my job. I work at bleeping Old Navy and I'm folding clothes till like 11:30 every bleeping day'

Just part of a conversation I heard on the subway on Saturday. I'm actually taking the sentence out of the context it was used in but it got me thinking.

Its hectic for those persons working retail around Christmas. The packed stores filled with customers who want service instantaneously, The hands pawing through the display that you just rearranged two minutes ago and which now looks like a dump heap, the faces which say I have more important things to do so stop holding me up, the tempers that are really short. Its got to be a thankless job on the most part.

So if you are still out in the hustle and bustle of Christmas shopping, giving retail staff cut eye and causing them headaches just stop and think about how rough it must be for them at this time of year. Of course if they giving you any attitude in the store you still have my permission to give them a piece of ya mind :-)


On another note: Followed Dr D's ham recipe on Saturday and the results are excellent. Oh and its -20 Celsius here today with windchill that puts it around - thirty something. I don't want to go to work.

These are our heroes

Ave fi fly out
me ave fi fly out

Daddy Lizard - Ave fi fly out

Vince Carter finally got his wish and was traded from Toronto on Friday. I wrote my thoughts on his trade wishes back in September.

After giving half hearted efforts for the NBA season so far to emphasize his point that he wanted out we finally gave him the boot. It was pretty much over at the start of the season and so far it just has played out like a long drawn out divorce.

I already stated my thoughts on Vince and players who demand trades so I don't want to repeat myself too much but I'll reiterate that Vince's charges that he wants to go somewhere where he can win are a smack in the face to Raptors fans and the organization who bent over backwards in the first six years to accommodate him.

Thanks Vince. Yes you did give us some acclaim with your high flying 'half man, half amazing' act in the early years but lately you've clearly grown tired of us and have been simply going through the motions.

What kind of example was your pouting and half hearted effort for the kids who sadly look up to you? You are their hero.

Its actually the organization's fault. Rightly or wrongly they probably gave you a lot of leeway because you were the first real star that the only NBA franchise north of the border had and they were afraid that if you left they would fold. Could still happen mind you but at least back in the day people paid to see you play and you were the cash cow for the organization. Now the few fans who go to the arena just go to boo you. Deservingly so I think as well because this summer you hurt their feelings with your trade requests. Now you've become a liability to the franchise.

After years of defending you and your oft injured act it hurt fans to hear you say you wanted to leave in a quest for a championship. Wait a minute didn't the franchise bring you the coach and the players like AD, Alvin,Jerome and an over the hill Hakeem Olajuwon that you wanted to play with? Didn't they get rid of dudes like Keon Clarke on your say so? Were you not being consulted on every move? Oh I get it you were angry that they realized that consulting you and catering to your whims wasn't helping to build the team into a championship caliber club. You were upset that they overlooked your pick for GM in Dr J. My bad son!

And who did we trade you for? Alonzo Mourning, two Williams and draft picks. I guess once again the Raptors will become the league leader in players named Williams. We have three beat that! What an achievement. I hope the draft picks work out for them because this trade just forced Alonzo Mourning into early retirement.

Oh well, I guess if someone is playing with Vince's effort you take what you can get to get rid of him and his annoying mom. I thought we could have gained a better return though but I guess for a franchise that will claim its losing money what we got probably looks best to the big boys.

What'll really be aggravating though will be when he goes to the New Jersey Nets and starts scoring 30 points a night. Then we'll look back and say wow look at that Vince is driving to the rim again. I haven't seen him do that in Toronto since those playoffs against the Sixers 3 or 4 years ago. Now that's when we'll be really upset as we think of how he played us over the last couple of years by phoning in his effort.

Anyway not to be totally negative about the brother I have to 'give jack he jacket'(credit where its due). He did do a bit for the community while he was here and I salute him for that ...Although in my opinion basketball courts aren't exactly what we should be giving underprivileged kids but that's another story for another time. Thanks for helping out Vince.

Also in my years in Toronto I've discovered that the sports writers here seem to have great powers to sway public opinion. They turn against any sports player and sooner or later he's gone. Sadly the sports writers in Toronto turned on Vince long before he demanded a trade . One newspaper dude at points appeared to me to even have a personal vendetta against Vince even going as far as pulling a paparrazi like stunt and writing an article about Vince's relationship with his paternal grandmother. Come on now, that's just not relevant unless you're the Enquirer. What happened to objective journalism?

Anyway Vince, thanks for the memories. We lost two of Toronto's sports heroes this winter you and Carlos Delgado (who actually wanted to stay here). Time to rebuild. I wish you luck in New Jersey. Go with God and good luck to you and your spouse and the soon to be new addition to your family.

Oh well, at least we got rid of you now instead of 5 years down the line where you could possibly have pulled an Antonio Davis and said something asinine like he did about not liking the strange stuff like the metric system that they are filling his kids heads with in Canadian schools.

These are our heroes.

laffin at myself

Well I promised everyone a few laffs and who better to laugh at than myself. I've just been thinking about some childhood memories lately. Think they were spurred on by the whole cellphone episode from yesterday. Also I hung out with some bajan friends last night till about 2 in the morning and it just brought back some nice memories.

Ya ever hang out with nuff Caribbean people in a non-Caribbean atmosphere? It's pure jokes. We duz be making noise ...Usually without being obnoxious, we duz be laffing and 'carrying on bad'. Waitresses duz be coming by hoping ya buy more drinks and giving ya all sorta nasty looks. lol. Well Last night we talked from about 9 till 2am about everything under the sun from old time remedies, politics, going school to just good old time bajan food. Anybody ever had shark oil or Scott emulsion? Or eat rice and macaroni as a meal. Not separate ya know I mean that was the entire meal, no meat no nothing else; plain rice + plain macaroni. lol.

The biggest joke though besides ragging on some one else that we knew was when this guy at the bar turned the TV away from facing us. We were in loud conversation but ever now and then we would gaze at the TV as they went on and on about Vince Carter's trade (whoopee, I real glad he gone). Anyway the guy probably thought that seeing as we were well locked in conversation, we wouldn't mind the TV so he turned it to face him. Well to paraphrase Pauls' Keens Douglas "Who tell he do dat?"

Lawd ave mercy. From the time the TV move all I hear was 'But wait, how he cud juss come so an turn the TV? He aint feel we watching? But wait dis is he house? He live hayso dat he cud turn bout the TV from infront a people? wha I cann understand dat den. People watching TV and he juss up and turn roun de screen. chupse! Wha I aint see he bring in nuh TV. Wait he buy dat, he got a receipt fa dat?" and this went on not in the polite Canadian quiet like way but in loud (but not obnoxious) Caribbean fashion so poor guy heard all our comments. We embarrassed the man so much he had to turn the TV back. All like now the man musse got a TV phobia from the ragging he got. He muse 'fraid ta even watch TV this marnin den.

Anyways it was just jokes, no malice intended.

One joke that came up last night was about me when I was a child. Now I do talk to myself like that dude on the bus lol ...and it aint a cellphone I'm talking to. Some people say I must be mad(mad as in crazy for you non west Indians not mad as in vex) but the voices in my head duz tell me "doan mind dem dem aint know wha gine on. we saner dan all a dem so dont fret yaself."

Anyway whenever people tell me I'm mad I always blame it on this one incident when I was at primary school around 8 years of age. Now back then there was the old joiner (carpenter) shop behind our school and there was always wood shavings and pieces of logs and half sawn 2x4s all behind our school. This was back when no one was that safety conscious so there was a security fence in bad repair but no-one cared about who was on school property and you didn't have to really worry about unsavory elements invading the area. We didn't have any drug dealers an guns and bad boy-ism around the place. A simpler time.

So one day a bunch of us were playing behind the school at lunchtime. (Actually writing this its all coming back with amazing clarity which is good since for years now I haven't remembered much but the outcome of the incident.) We were walking around, talking , laffing, mekkin sport as the bajans would say. Out of the blue though this one girl in our group grabbed a 2x4 off the ground and started swinging it with both hands like crazy. Now you know at 8 most girls are bigger than boys so this was a fairly tall girl even for 8 and I was this scrawny little short boy with big thick glasses. I remember now I was thinking to myself this girl just trying to frighten us. No way this girl is stupid enough to hit me. I'm not ducking I'm standing my ground. So she saw me there, the only one not running from her lawlessness and kept swinging and swinging the 2x4 closer and closer to me till she was basically in my face. I'm standing there very still but vex and thinking she cant frighten me so I'm not budging. Actually budging I might have got hit anyways. Now I know she didn't mean to hit me but all a sudden BRAX, I get lik in the middle of me forehead wid a 2x4. (and allya wonder why my head gone eh?) Dat ever happen to anyone else come on show by a raise of hands? Whax !

Man did that thing hurt. Swelled up to the size of Pinochio's nose too. Big big bump on my head. I just remember going home from school and my mom being really upset and her doing like West Indians used to(still?) do and rushing off to find this girl's parents (who of course we knew) to show them how their daughter nearly kill her poor son. She wanted satisfaction (meaning well at the least the parents could put some hot lashes in the girl tail for hitting me) Cuhdear!

My mom also had to use a big tablespoon to try to press down the bruised blood. Ouch and that hurt probably as bad if not worse than the actual blow. Crazy aint it. So when allya say I mad feel some pity for me cause I get lik in my head wid a two by four so it aint my fault. Well actually it is cause I should have just run away or something but 'I aint never scared' so I didn't. lol

Another story I remember from my childhood involves myself falling down. Now as a youngster I used to walk extremely fast. Actually I still do but nowhere as fast as back then. Getting places was like a race to me. I was always trying to better my previous times without running. Anyway maybe it was the fast walking and maybe it wasn't but there were points where of course I had a few falls. Nothing really spectacular, no broken bones just lost pride and embarrassment.

Now anyone who knows Barbados knows that sidewalks are lacking in many places so that always makes walking a challenge. Luckily most of my walk routes on major streets had some sidewalks. However there were always breaks in the sidewalk at various points and these sometimes led to some mishap for me. Actually come to think of it most of my walk mishaps also happened when I was on my way to or from high school. Why is this significant. Well because I was wearing my school shoes. Now all good bajan parents if they could afford it insisted that their child wear leather shoes and some of my leather shoes had absolutely no grip. Yea its the shoes? the shoes? Its gotta be the shoes. I blame them for every fall I ever had.

So for me I had a few real igrant falls on my way from high school in the evenings. Three I can remember vividly but only one is really funny so I will share that one.

I was about 15 , out of khaki (short pants) and into long pants at high school. Long pants, white shirt and a tie. I was a proud 4th former. One evening I was on my way up Whitepark road, walking rather fast in my slippery shoes because I was trying to get somewhere on time. I was on the street walking after having run out of sidewalk down by what I believe was the Wesleyan Holiness Tabernacle, opposite Greenfield's road down by the WIBIX factory that makes Shirleys and sodabix and eclipse biscuits (wunnah know dem right?). And I was heading in the direction towards Passage road/Country Road. Hol tight I just setting the scene fa any a wunah dat wanta recreate my steps.

So I reached the area just opposite the basketball courts for Roebuck High School now called Louis Lynch secondary. This area had a sidewalk but you had to step up from the road onto the sidewalk. Of course you know what happened. My feet caught the edge of the sidewalk and see me all over the ground, with my knapsack, catspraddle on the pavement. Bruggadown Brax! My slippery shoes and the edge of the pavement collaborate to throw me down real real hard.

Being in my long pants and school tie though I couldn't let anyone see me having fallen down especially not school children from another school so I hurried to get up, looked around, luckily no one was on the basketball courts, and promptly took off like nothing happened. Hey I had to retain some semblance of pride. I mean after all I is bajan and ya know we proud foolish. :-)

However these two guys in a truck coming down the road had clearly seen the incident and as they drove past one guy said to the other "Man, nowadays dese schoolboys duz drink tummuch rum and den fall down all bout the place ya kno". Man was I embarrassed.

what more can I say

its friday!

Not much to say today actually. Computer sort of working so tomorrow hopefully you will see a post from me God willing.

Saw a dude on the bus today that looked just like Lil Jon; shades, hat and teeth. Had an overwhelming urge to say 'yeahhhhhhh' OK!! Also saw this one dude on the bus today who I'm not sure was in his right mind. You know one time you could actually say that someone was crazy because they were talking to themselves?( Trust me ya kno how many people look at me talking to myself and tell me my head bad. ) Well now with small cellphones and the invisible headpieces you're not sure if the conversation is with the voices in their ear or the voices in their head.

LOL, anyway keping it really short today. Will try to give you some jokes tomorrow.

Its Alive ....Sort of

Day 3,

And it was written: Yet there arose more issues like pestilence to smite my mighty computer. Forsooth he endeavoured to restore all that was golden and insomuch as there was a light at the end of the tunnel all was well but alas it was a mirage for said light was extinguished forthwith with a sudden suddenness. Henceforth when all else had failed he was forced to smite the mighty machine with a twin hammer called reformat and reinstall.

And he arose in the morning on the third day ,before daybreak, after a fitful rest and came forth from his slumber chamber with a sudden swiftness to gaze upon the land. And verily I say unto you the scene was good...sort of. For reinstall and reformat like the champions of old had cut a wide swath across the plains and laid waste to the evil of the registry which had existed. Hooray! However in rid-ing the land of the scourge which had existed , reformat and reinstall had also purged all that was good. BUT all was not loss as the mighty BACKUP was prepared to swiftly rejuvenate the plains as far as the eye could so and so there was much joy across the land.

BUT alas in the midst of celebration, there arose suddenly like a mighty wind from the east a problem with the mother of all boards. For verily it was once written "Asus motherboards like dem got real problems den!" And the mother of all boards denied me not once, not twice, nay not even thrice from entering into the hallowed halls of the internet but verily forever and ever. And despair consumed the land and there was silence..........

Then, being consumed in the grasp of despair,there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth as he sought the designer sackcloth and ashes. But when all seemed dark and all hope was lost, one last thought entered his mind and he determined to seek out the mysterious entity called technical support. Naa had he ever laid eyes on him these many moons but in his time of need the technical support had been there for him in times past ...Although forsooth the technical support was best described as "IFFY"

But with not much else to lose, as the sun raised above the horizon, it came to pass that he utilized the Bell apparatus to seek out the Technical support. And after a wait equivalent to the coming and going down of 10 naa I say 15 subways indeed at Kennedy Station during rush hour, on a school day in the winter when it cold and the sun is shining brightly, his supplications were received and the technical support offered him hope in his time of trial. For alas there exists a legendary "PATCH" of the highest order which once applied to the mother of all boards shall cure it of its ails. And the PATCH is like a beacon which shall not forever allow the mother of all boards to be led astray but naa verily I say shall it guide its feet unto the path where Netscape and Mozilla reside. It shall lead the lost back to the promised land which is called Blogger. And he offered loud praises to the tech support "You the man son!, Good looking out G". And so he set out alone on a quest across webpages and internet sites, through html and javacode to find the One called "PATCH" which shall save him. But alas three hours later his quest continues as he still searches verily from The mine of Moria to the Mounts of Doom, over the fields of the Shire to the forests of Fangorn for the legendary PATCH to guide the mother of all boards back to safety.

So it is written. Here ends my flight into fantasy. To Be continued...maybe

All dat is ta say the computer aint wukkin properly yet.

Pray fa muh please.

Day 2 No computer

Tried to fix it myself last night. No luck. Going to have to call in the experts. Oh well, for the many years I've owned one of these devices I've never had any real major issues that I couldn't solve. Guess its just probability catching up to me.

Anyway at least there is work...for now so until next Tuesday you guys can still get a few lines out of me.

This morning saw some wonderful road rage between a cyclist and a car. I don't know who are more annoying in Toronto these days cyclists or motorists. I think its cyclists though. I find them annoyances to both pedestrians and motorists.

Anyway on a lighter note quick update on the house. Nope haven't finished the unpacking but at least some rooms livable.

Oh and I need an electrician. Almost everything that's left to be done aside from emptying boxes is somehow related to electricity. First off I have a chandelier that I will have to remove and replace with another ceiling fixture. Why? Well because it hangs down quite a ways (almost to my chest actually come to think of it) and has a pointy tip and since I aint the most coordinated person is only a matter of time before it juck me in my head...again. Actually this morning I went into that room to open the windows, turned around and bram! get hit in the face by the chandelier. Health risk! Seriously I don't think the guys who lived here previously were that short so I wonder how they lived with that without serious injuries.

Now I was trying to minimize the need for an electrician for some other lighting stuff. Actually I guess I'll learn all the electrical stuff at some point but for now I don't want to kill myself so I'll take it slowly. Anyway to avoid all the bigtime hardwiring I search and search and find some lights for one room that didn't need to be hardwired. Simple stick it up on the wall and plug it in. Cant get no simpler can it? Nuh uh! Got home, opened the package, look inside wires everywhere. White wire, red wire, blue wire, black wire. Its like United Colors of Benneton wires up in there. Now its my feeling that if something say plug-in there shouldn't be no holy heap of wires for you to have to sort out first. Right? Ok. Plus the directions it came with are worthless. Remember back in the days you would buy something to set up and it would give you proper directions like Step One: Attach back to front using screws A through F at marked locations. Step two: Use hammer with the force equivalent to 100psi to beat kill the nails. Step Three: Attach screws with long pointy screwdriver. And they would give you a separate diagram for each step with little arrows and words in English. Remember that? Well I realize those days now with the Ikeas, Home Depots and Ronas all they give you is a diagram basically showing you the finished product looks. Its like the men say "looka star this is how it supposed ta look when it dun. I aint got nuh time fa you so deal wid de case and doan bother me cause I busy" Meanwhile all the words in Swedish or German or something so that you cant even pronounce furtherless understand. And this time the box got in bout 10 different types a screws and nails and all sorta fancy attachments and you aint got a clue where anything going. I aint joking ya know. I put together a few projects since we move already and its only by the grace a God that I manage to figure out what happening.

LOL. Anyways we put up Christmas lights on Sunday. Actually who is this we I talking bout cause I aint drive a stroke to help. It was all the wife and no I aint shame to say so. Wha happen wid wunnah doah? Wha she gotta pull she weight too? Dis aint nuh one man show! :-)

Why anyway she keep harassing me about going up on a roof to hang up Christmas lights. This is last Sunday when snow fall all Saturday and a bit on Sunday. Me a man who can barely stand up straight on the flat ground when snow fall she want climb up pun people roof like I favor mountain goat when the whole place covered down in snow. Ya lie! Nope, that aint wukin atall... and y'all wonder why I suspicious the woman trying to bump me off. Anyway she do the lights herself but I notice she aint went near the roof at all. :-)

oh shoot, I being drafted

An I aint even amuricun den :-)

Got this email today from posting my resume on monster.com a long long while back. Edited it a slight bit.

"The U.S. Naval Reserve"

THE UNITED STATES NAVAL RECRUITING COMMAND

Did you know that your particular skills could help you lead a more complete life and build a better career in the U.S. Naval Reserve?

We currently have a variety of challenging opportunities related to almost every ****** discipline. Within our officer ranks, we have openings in ******* as well as opportunities for Oceanographers. In our enlisted ranks, we have opportunities for Aviation Mechanics, Operations Specialists, and a variety of positions within the Naval Reserve that require a background in ******.

In exchange for your part-time commitment, you will receive countless benefits and rewards. You will also receive advanced vocational training and undergo unique experiences that are unrivaled in the civilian world.

One of the greatest benefits of joining the Naval Reserve is that you won't have to sacrifice your personal life to serve. Your training sessions will almost always be with the Naval Reserve unit located closest to your home.

To learn more about the Naval Reserve, we encourage you to visit navalreserve.com. Or, if you would like a Naval Reserve representative to contact you directly, please click here.
*******************

Oh shoot, George Bush want me! Dem see me write bout the beach back home an dreaming bout diving an wanta put me in the navy. Nexx ting ya see me in Iraq wid a guttaperk (slingshot) and two big rocks whilst men in turbans chasing muh down. Cuhdear! Looka I gine guh an change me name ta Bin Runnin an disappear in a cave sumwhere. I aint tellin nun a wunnah where doah cause fa all I know wunnah coulda be de body dat sell muh out.

De wife say it aint soun suh bad. Doan mind she, she and Dubya musse got a lil King David, Bathesheba thing gine on and got me playing the role of Uriah. If wunnah doan read wunnah bible I aint explaining dat wun ta wunnah.

We're in the army now and not behind the plow , you'll never get rich you......

One of those days

sigh!

home computer on the fritz. Cant even start windows. Man I definitely have a love hate relationship with these machines. sigh. But apparently windows\system32\config\system is missing or corrupt is a common xp issue. Wonderful! Oh well hope I can get it fixed sometime but in case I don't I'll be rather scarce the next few weeks.

Anyway was going to keep it rather light today and I'll try but I've just got to address this. Russian fans throwing bananas at a Black Hockey player. Crass really crass. I guess the more things change the more they remain the same for us. I could go on a rampage of stereotypes here, justifiably based on previous experiences but its Christmas so I'm just mentioning this briefly and saying that its pretty sad. Not sure what's with the rise of these actions at sporting events there but its worth keeping an eye on.

Yesterday was the office luncheon. It came it went. First one we've had in 4 years I believe. It was rather quiet nothing eventful to report. Found out about half the staff is jetting off to warmer climes when we go on break in a few days so I'm jealous.

Bought my ham a few days ago. Going to try Dr D's recipe sometime either this week or weekend.

Latest news from Raptor land besides the team sucks is that Vince Carter's wife is expecting a baby. Congrats Vince. Now someone in Raptors land please trade this brother...but not to New York for Allan Houston that's just ludicrous. Oh if you haven't checked it out Solitaire's Vince Carter saga is hilarious especially if you've lived in Toronto and seen Mama Carter run tings. LOL.

Played an hour of squash straight last night. Still motivated by seeing Nas Saturday night lol. Got to get in shape. I'm still tired this morning.

Anyway when I got issues like computer problems its hard for me to focus on the blog and stuff like that. I'm obsessive compulsive about ish like that. So everyone have a great day today and hope the Christmas spirit is upon you.

Nas is like..

Deep like The Shinin', sparkle like a diamond
Sneak a Uzi on the island in my army jacket linin
Hit the Earth like a comet, invasion
Nas is like the Afrocentric Asian, half-man, half-amazin
Cause in my physical, I can express through song
Delete stress like Motrin, then extend strong
I drank Moet with Medusa, give her shotguns in hell

Nas - It aint hard to tell.


Saturday night I went to the Nas concert at the Kool Haus. Been a while since I've actually been to a hip hop concert, actually been a while since I've been to a club downtown unless its been a calypso show.

Considered not going after all its been like maybe a good 5-6 years since my last Hip Hop concert (although my homie keep reminding me of some EPMD show we went to which I actually cant remember at all. Senility dun set in early!). I mean I actually remember when Nas busted out on Main Source's Live at the barbecue with "Street's disciple, my raps are trifle, I shoot slugs from my brain just like a rifle" and also later did that verse on Mc Serch's Back to the Grill again. I actually remember buying the Zebrahead soundtrack in 92 or 93 prior to the release of Illmatic to listen to "It aint Hard to Tell." Whoa!

Plus to be honest I've never been big on clubs and crowds. Cant handle the lineups, the dumb bouncers, the horrid djs and the crazy ish that occasionally happens. I mean don't get it twisted I aint scared but since I got married I think a bit more about getting into dumb ish in club situations especially since every man nowadays quick to pull out some weapon like its a video game. (Although come to think of it, since me wife trying to kill me maybe she would be happy if something happened there. Actually come to think of it she encouraged me to go to this concert. Wait a minute!)

Anyway back to the topic at hand. Nas, Kool Haus, Saturday night. I got tickets to the second show thus avoiding the earlier all-ages one and all the tennie boppers. Good looking out P! Much respect son!

Door's opened 9 o'clock. We reached at 9 and saw the longest line I've seen this side of Caribana at the doors. Did I mention it was freezing? Spent an hour in line and was just making progress when one of the son of a ... umm bouncers shut down the line we were in. Turned the line around and send it to the other door. Can you imagine that? The first were last and the last first. I was so not impressed especially since I was freezing. Nas had better be good if I catch pneumonia.

Still it gave me some time to try to wonder if the scruffy dude with the 40 oz acting drunk was actually drunk or was just an undercover cop. Still not sure but leaning towards the latter. Hey nothing is ever as it appears in my world of conspiracies and subterfuge. Just call me Agent Muldner. :-)

Anyway we finally made it in around 10:30. Outside was cold but inside was packed and heated like a sauna. DJ Baby Yu, on the 1s and 2s, was playing a nice back in the day set to hype up the crowd. Wu Tang, Gang Starr, BCC, Biggie, Luniz (5 on it) , Pete Rock Cl Smooth, Tribe, Channel Live, LOTUG, Black Sheep, Redman (is it me or has everyone forgotten AG and Showbiz). The crowd was thick and singing along to the hits of the 93-94 era. I got to say that one of the great things about going to a hip hop show is the warmup music played by the DJ. Any other time at the club you are going to get pure B.S mixed in but before a hip hop show they really bring back the nostalgia.

Around 11:30 after the crowd was sufficiently warmed up DJ L.E.S came out and started to check his equipment. Baby Yu dropping in BDP's "the bridge is over" which I was thinking while a classic was a very inappropriate song to be playing at a Nas show (seeing he's a Queensbridge native). This was the cue for L.E.S to stop the DJ get on the mic and get the crowd hyped for Nas. The lights dimmed and The Intro from Nas' latest joint Street Disciple came in. Nas could be heard rapping and when the lights came back he was stage front doing his thing.

I kind of like the fact that the stage was rather clear for a rap concert. No large crew and two dozen hype men/aspiring rappers. L.E.S played the dual role of hype man and DJ and it was just Nas and two big bodyguards on stage.

Nas started with "A message to the Feds" from his new album, went into Ether from the Stillmatic album and followed up with my favorite track from the new album called "These are our Heroes". Its basically a diss of sellouts mainly Kobe Bryant (Interesting aside I just realized that Nas actually did a song with Kobe when Kobe was trying to have a rap career some years back. Thankfully never saw the light of day). Nas then went into a wicked set from his first album Illmatic. One Love, Represent, Lifes a B..., Halftime, It aint Hard to Tell, he basically did the whole album, He then flipped into a few songs from It was Written; Street Dreams, The message and the hit If I ruled the World.

Let me pause here for some observations. First the energy from the crowd was pretty nice .....for a Toronto crowd lol. I've been in wilder crowds (a Common, Beatnuts concert back in the day at Opera House springs to mind) but seeing as I'm a hip hop elder now I appreciate that it wasn't as wild as it could be. Also one thing I really love about hip hop crowds at least in Toronto is that it shows off the full spectrum of the different races/cultures living here and they all know the songs and all groove along to the music... some more in tune than others but that's another story. For all the negatives about Hip Hop music what other events bring together young folk like this.

Third I know I've been off the club scene for a while but have girls shrunk since my last club visit? I swear not only were they shorter but they seemed to take up less space than usual. A one point 5 girls jammed into a space in front of me that should only hold 2 normal sized people. It was like being surrounded by hobbits.

Fourth, good gosh forgot about this reason for why I'm not big on clubs. Weed, the indo, the sticky ikky, chronic, pushung peng, the izm! It was crazy, I was smelling weed from the right of me, from the left of me, in front of me, damn! I'm sure by the time I left I was high on second hand smoke. Don't know if the Greg Goose was in effect but there was definitely a whole lot of hydro. (just borrowing from a Nas song for the non-hip hop fans)

Fifth, I love to watch some of my fellow concert goes. Especially the dudes who bring their girls and then spend the entire night trying to make sure no one pushes up on them. Its pretty funny when the entire crowd is wilding out and there is this one dude just standing their absolutely still holding his girl in front of him. What's with that?

Sixth back to Nas. Nas followed the usual rapper performance credo regarding garb. Come out in a jacket, peel it off halfway in his set to a t-shirt and then remove t-shirt later in the show. Its the "I'm working up a sweat because I'm really into my performance" routine that's supposed to pull in the crowd. I got no problems with it but hey Nas my bredren, yo guy, keep the t shirt on star. Truss me. Bredren ya gave me some serious motivation to hit the gym. Bredren, Kelis giving you too much milkshakes. Cut back. Men our age should look better than that guy. I'm not saying he was way out of shape but if you are going to take your shirt off in a spotlight situation with hundreds of people looking at you I think you got to come correct. Yo guy, you are officially my motivation I'm going on the holy quest to find the six-pack. No not the one in the fridge.

Anyway back to the concert. Nas followed the It was Written classics with some stuff from newer albums including "Got Yourself a Gun". I guess he was going from Nasty to Nas to Escobar to Nastradamus to God's Son and giving us the full spectrum of his hits. He has after all been in the game 12+ years now.

Ok the second hand smoke was kicking in so the exact order of what he played is escaping me lol. He did "Hate me now" and a verse from New York state of Mind (my favorite Nas track ever).

The crowd was feeling the music and Nas was feeling the crowd. He did his current hit Bridging the Gap minus his father Olu Dara and then flipped into a medley of his cameo verses from Hot Boyz (with Missy) Oochie Wally(Bravehearts), Verbal Intercourse (Raekwon) etc. Or was the Bridging the Gap after the medley who remembers.

He also did some of the tracks from his Lost Tapes album and he finally finished with Made You Look. Surprisingly he didn't perform his big hit from Last year I Can.

All in all though, excellent concert. Nas came saw and conquered (Veni Vidi Vici) the T-dot on his first show here.

Now why do I feel so hungry after the show. Oh right the flipping second hand weed smoke. ah man!

Caribbean Bloggers in Exotic locales

just wanted to do a bit of promotion for two of my Caribbean sisters who are in exotic locations. Taiwan and Somewhere in South America. Crazy people I say! Don't know why summa we doan stan in the west Indies at all (myself included)? :-)
Anyway just wanted to let the other Caribbean bloggers know about them. They feel a bit left out so drop them a comment or two at Mad Traveller (that's my lil sister there and the wuman head mad almost as mad as mine)and It's all Good. (another a me sistren). Wait my family real big though. :-)

One love.

Partial Dream

And no I didn't eat anything before I went to bed. This is more like three separate dreams actually.

Dream 1: As usual I don't remember the way it started but I remember being in the main building of my old primary school in Barbados. I'm not sure if I'm a kid or an adult actually it really didn't matter until near the end of the dream. I'm outside in the main courtyard, with a bunch of other students it appears and it looks like we are doing Phy.Ed class because we all start changing clothing. I take off my track pants and possibly change into swim trunks (unless I was going to swim nude, nope its Christmas not Halloween don't want to scare nobody) and I go diving with my friend D. (who interestingly went to high school not primary school with me).

Suddenly its like we are in the ocean and I'm surrounded by coral and pretty fish and blue Caribbean waters. Its amazingly beautiful. I'm diving around like a mermaid or is that mer-man with no signs of scuba gear.

This goes on for a bit then we come out and I'm back in the changeroom/courtyard at primary school but I cant find my pants. Neither can my friend. So we search for what seems like ages amongst a bunch of knapsacks and other bags thrown haphazardly all over the floor. Cant find anything besides two brown identical track pants. On one leg of the track pants, I guess thigh area to be specific, is the word Barbados written below what appears to be the O from the VOB symbol (something like a target). Not finding our own pants we are forced to take these and put them on.

So we appear late for class but it doesn't seem to phase us. We walk into the little school meals serving area of the school and then up the stairs which appear about half the size I remember them. We go past the headmistress' office trying not to be seen and we either go up one or two more floors.

At the top we came to what used to be Form 4.A (if this was reality and not a dream) but the area appears more open than I remember it although it is very crowded with students and the seating pattern is completely different to when I was there.

Turns out now I'm actually not in Barbados because the pants supposedly belong to two bajan exchange students. So my friend confronts the one who has his pants on and after some argument they exchange pants. Me I'm still searching for the kid with my dingy olive green track pants (no idea what that's about). His friend after the pants exchange runs into another room looking to warn him that we are coming but I find him in a different room. I confront him about the pants, he refuses to give them up although clearly they aren't his. So ...... I take a wooden chair and start smashing it all over his head. I'm going to dream jail for criminal assault anyone know a good dream lawyer? Just to be clear though the chair is rather flimsy because it starts breaking in my hands till I'm just left holding one leg. D stops me and the guy is like oh no need to get violent and I'm not sure what happens next.

Dream 2: I'm at dominos with the guys and one of the sistren asks me if I reserved some video tape for her at the video store (title sounded like a foreign film). I guess I must work there so I say when I go in I'll look.

I go in and by then I've forgotten what I'm supposed to be looking for. So its noisy and dark in there and I go out onto the sidewalk (it appeared to be the sidewalk by the Wing Machine on Bloor West just west of Bathurst because I can see the traffic lights and I generally know that area) to call to find out what I'm looking for.

When I get outside there are two young brothers shadowing me as I pull out my phone. They are all up in my personal space so I say excuse me and move away but they keep looking at me. So my senses are on alert now and I'm thinking what's going on. One guy goes into the car parked out front and pulls out a really small red cellphone from a box full of them (guess he's got the hook up like Master P. Makes you want to say uhhhhhhh don't it) and offers to sell it to me. I tell him as he can clearly see I already have a phone and its relatively new but him and his partner keep crowding me and hassling me about the phone. They keep pushing the phone all up in my face and I get really agitated so I start cussing them. But the funny part is I have this thick Jamaican accent when I'm speaking. Blouse n skirt! :-) Imagine that. No disrespect ta the yard massive but in the dream I'm all like "bredren, me respect say dat ya a try a likkle hussle but me naa wan nuh cellphone so move ya bumba ...." and "me naa understand how ya a see big man h'already ave 'im phone an a still 'arass 'im. a wha kinda h'idiot ting dat!" :-)

Not my exact words but something similar and there were a few various clots sprinkled liberally in the comments.

Then I go in the video store again and I woke up.

Dream 3: Dont remember much detail from this one and don't even know why I'm mentioning it. This one happened last night I got home from the Nas concert (review coming tomorrow stay tuned). Me and my bredren leave the concert and we run into two of my other friends, D (not the same one from the first dream) and this girl M. We drove to the concert but for some reason they are driving us home. Car breaks down, we go to the subway which is really crowded. We're sitting chatting, M keeps touching me like wiping crumbs from my mouth and wiping my face like I'm a child.

Train is taking forever to come. When it does come my bredren for some reason takes a car (appeared out of nowhere) and drives it off the platform, on some Dukes of Hazzard type stunt ish, onto the train tracks and just flew up the tracks. Oh, should mention I think we were at Dundas train station so he's heading north towards Yonge. Another car does the same thing on the other train tracks. The train stops, everyone else on the platform starts running out the building. I ask the conductor if this was the last train as the clock said 12:30. He says yes so I start walking up the tracks. A bit later another train comes up the tracks with the same conductor and another TTC guy onboard and I hop on. It gets fuzzy after that.

Santa Clause

Now I don't know what I get myself into today because I promise Dr D that I was going to blog about a little Santa Clause story only to realize the story might not be worth telling. LOL

Anyway I already can see that some of my blog friends aren't big on the Santa part of Christmas at all. I had a real good laugh when earlier this week Dr D talk about "Fyah bun fe Santa" and Shauna talk about how we teaching our kids that its cool to sit on an old white dudes lap and its cool for him to sneak up into your house. Yep rather disturbing when you think about it. On any other day besides Christmas the guns, knives and cutlasses would come out for Santa and his trespassing reindeer. "Wait who is you dat play ya walking bout on my roof talking bout ho, ho ho? I gine show you who ho ho ho!" Next ting ya know two big rocks fire off at Santa an he backside catspraddle all over the ground and a fellow walking up to Rudolph and company talking about "honey where's the hunting knife? Cancel that trip to the supermarket. We don't need no turkey this year. We got enuff venison ta gi way"

Anyway I really am not big on Santa Clause myself. Never really grew up with that tradition in my household. I always knew that whatever gifts I got came from my friends or family. Think I wont push the Santa angle with my kids when I get some although me and the wife may have to fight again like with the Halloween thing.

I do remember however in Barbados there was this big tradition of Santa Clause coming in from the North Pole every year the Saturday before Christmas via jetski, helicopter, airplane and giving away gifts at some store downtown, may have been Courts. I think most of the times it was a black Santa too. Oh well. Anyways I was never amongst the throng that went down to see him. It was always seen as silly in my household and I guess I caught on to that. I was very practical as a yout.

But I'm stalling. Actually no I'm giving background. Let us get down to the meat of the matter. My Santa story happened a few/many years back, my second year up here in Canada. I went over to Montreal to spend my Christmas break with a a close family friend and his own family. This was my first visit to Montreal and man was it cold even compared to Toronto. Think I remember some -25 Celsius, (-12 F approximately).

So see me in Montreal, 20-21 years of age, gangly yout about 6 feet tall, 165 ish, swearing its really not Montreal they take me but the North Pole because the place was colder that anything I had ever imagined. Remember my measurements they are important to the story.

So me in, cold Montreal. Wunnah with me still? Ok Christmas day arrives and the family I'm with is having Christmas dinner with their extended family. Cool. nuh worries. We drive to someone's house and start to mix and mingle. Now most of them were Quebecois and bare French speaking in this place. Its worse than when I was trying to understand me bredren King at dominos although strangely enough I took CXC French at high school (and actually passed much to the surprise of my idiot French teacher) but my grasp of the language isn't that great n'est pas? What! See how I managed to sort of work in a lil French phrase like I know what I talking about. Si umm I mean Oui .

So I'm there just trying to stand up and not look totally lost or ignorant when out comes one of the older dudes dressed up at Santa. Kids gone wild, happy happy now because gifts sharing soon. Me I'm like oh that's kind of cute I guess. Nice to see the kiddies happy. Santa sits down and the kids start going up one by one for gifts. Me I'm off sitting somewhere, drink in hand, smiling occasionally, saying stuff like Bon and Oui and Es muy Importante, senorita por favor! Whoops wrong language again. I don't understand how I could take 5 years of French and 1 year of Spanish and still know more Spanish than French while living in a French speaking country. Boggles my mind! I might as well tear up this CXC certificate ya kno!

Now Where was I? Oh yes. Right, Picture this; Santa , little kiddies on lap, me in corner trying to be inconspicuous as I usually do when amongst strangers. Suddenly I realize all the kids are finished but Santa still hanging around. Now the ladies start sitting in his lap too. You go Santa yeahh! Get ya swerve on son!

But wait? Now is big men sitting in Santa lap. What's happening here?

So now they tell me the tradition is ......Everybody present sits in Santa's lap to receive there gifts and joy of joys what's that? A gift for me? No you shouldn't have? No , no I mean you really shouldn't have.

Now let me give you some more info. Everybody at the dinner not that tall, tallest maybe 5'5"-5'6" and they are mainly pretty slim too. Santa is about 5'4" tops. Could weigh maybe 120-130 ish under the pillows and stuffing... and big man like me (although I was pretty bony back then) supposed to sit down in Santa lap.

I try to tell them I aint into all this sitting in man lap thing even if he is Santa Clause or not, it just don't sit well with me. I try to tell them I turn instant Muslim and Allah forbid me from celebrating Christmas. I even tell them I lactose intolerant and that forbids me from sitting in Santa's lap. Yes it don't make no sense but in a world where a 17 year old girl can be dying from Osteoporosis a man gotta try something. LOL.

Anyways from where I was standing pleading my case it was clear Santa was sizing up me and didn't like the looks of me crushing his lap either. But well what can you do. When in Rome. So after much weeping moaning and gnashing of teeth I was finally forced to suffer the indignity of sitting on Santa's lap or rather knee. I could feel my weight crushing the poor man so I said merci grab the gift and get up quick quick quick before Santa suffer permanent injury. Although I think I see him limping bout the rest of the day and giving me one of those igrant looks like he vex.

Unfortunately I was also not quick enough to avoid them getting a picure of me on Santa lap. Nuh lie, talk about adding injury to insult. Lawd ave mercy! And had the nerve ta send the picture to my mother.

I think I've seen it once but my mother hid it from me when she realized I was getting ready to destroy it. But I tell ya if I ever find where my mom hide that picture atall , fyah bun fe picture, lol

Kayne West

Golly, more of that bull** rap
I got to 'pologize to Mos and Kweli (probably)
But is it cool to rap about gold
If I told the world I copped it from Ghana and Mali? (Mali!)
First n** with a Benz and a backpack
Ice chain, Cardi lens, and a knapsack
Always said if I rapped I'd say somethin' significant
But now I'm rappin' 'bout money, ***, and rims again

Kayne West - Breathe in

So Kayne West copped 10 Grammy nominations apparently (think I only counted 8). Congratulations! But it seems like some of my blog bredren and sistren and some of my other friends think that his accolades are undeserved. Never fear I got this one Kayne. I'll defend you but realize you're going to get a fair share of the lashes that sharing. Oh the views expressed herein are my own personal views on Kayne. I don't expect anyone to actually agree.

Ok how do I present this. hmmm. The College Dropout was the best hip hop album this year. Maybe that's not saying anything for this year's batch but still. Actually if I think about it Kayne's total album is probably one of the best I've heard in a few years.

Yes I have lots of issues with the concept that West seemed to be pushing with this whole "you can get ahead without school" agenda. Why because too many of my black brothers already disregard education. So pushing that agenda is definitely not cool with me. Not saying you have to go to College to be a success or rather that you cant be successful without higher education or you cant fail when in possession of one but when the kids hear that line being pushed its going to put more negative feelings in them regarding school. Let them keep all their options open. Lets face it school isn't for everyone but at the same time pushing that line on your album was just plain dumb-ass Kayne. Sure dropping out of College worked for you but realize that some folk do need to just suck it up at times, buckle down and hit the books and not drop out.

Anyway if you regard the body of work on the album ignoring the College Dropout theme this album is way ahead of the pack. All Falls Down, Never Let you down and Spaceship are my favorite tracks. Please ignore the terrible, terrible video for All Falls Down with the Clueless eye candy which probably killed most of its likability.

Jesus walks was amazing. I mean who would have thought a song about Jesus would be played in the club right? Of course its just one song so all the church groups and others who have acted like Kayne is a gospel singer ummm think again.

What were your first thoughts on hearing the album? Mine were whoa we have a winner here. In a field of gangsters, pimps and I'm really really catering to the radio pop artists the album stood out. It was a step in the right direction. Let me put it this way. I actually started breaking out the discman with Kayne for my walk to work. This album along with Ghostface's Pretty Tony Album and Masta Ace Long Hot Summer got the most play in my deck this year.

I think what really grabbed me was that he for all intents and purposes appeared to be to use an overused cliche "keeping it real". Not real as in street real which is rapper b.s for I'm chatting about drug deals and shooting up folk. Real as in it appeared to contain some honesty. (whether it is actually honest or not can be debated but I'm talking about the appearance). He was at times preaching but not being overly pretentious. At other times he appeared to be opening up to the public. Not to say that this truly reflects who he is or what he stands for but that was the image that he projected in the music. Like the line I quoted above and elsewhere on the album to me he was admitting that hey I know I could be doing something more black or more conscious but hey I'm just doing me. Yes I have issues just like all y'all. Yes I could be the super black role-model and not do my dirt or not spend too much on bling bling but like everyone else I get urges to spend frivolously and act a fool. Please realize I'm talking about his music here not the actual man ok.

I mean hey I can sit here and pick his lyrics apart and say that he's just showing off and he's rich and wasting his money and at times glorifying materialism and that would be true too but still brother admits hey I'm just doing what I'm doing and at some points I do realize maybe I shouldn't be doing this but I'll admit that I still am. Lots of folk out there are like that. We know right from wrong but sometimes we do wrong. It just happens. So that's why I like the album.

Ok now one of the reasons I think people diss Kayne is because they don't like him as a person. His showbiz persona (can only speak on this since we aint exactly boyz) radiates with arrogance. His comments after the American Music Awards sounded like so much bitter bile from a diva artist accustomed to having their own way and expecting everyone to cater to their whimsical fancies.

Way too much arrogance in my opinion. Dude comes off as an ass at times. Still lets realize hey this is what? Show Business? Its all about image. Don't think that the guys who are nice in front of the cameras are actually really that nice when they are turned off now. We don't know Kayne personally. Could be a great guy could be a idiot. I cant truly judge from my perspective. But why cant we separate him from his music? Music good, Kayne bad. Hey we do it with Michael Jackson and R Kelly why not Kayne. Being talented does not always lend itself to being humble......or having common sense in Mike's case .........or having morals in R Kelly's case so just realize that. There are certain writers that I love but I've had the chance to talk to them one on one and their personality just turned me off. They were pricks! Does that mean their body of work is somewhat less than it is? Does this mean they are not talented. No.

Yep, myself and the public in general will probably support the humble yout with the talent more than the one who thinks he's God's gift but that doesn't mean we cant accept that the proud, cocky, arrogant yout is still talented too.

Anyway that's about all I wanted to say on Kayne for the moment. Kayne talented yes, music good yes, personality crappy. Tomorrow the long awaited Santa Clause story, sorry doc lol, story too hype now and its not even that funny. :-)

In finishing, another note I see that Jay Z has become President of Def Jam records. Congrats. Since Def Jam hasnt been that great a label in recent years Jay is going to have his work cut out for him. Now since Jay is so fond of comparing himself to Michael Jordan (Every fourth quarter, I like to Mike Jordan em) in his rhymes I just hope he examines what happened with MJ and the Wizards. Being the big boss is different from being the star player (although truth be told Jay has some prior experience with being one of the Big men at Rockafella). So Jay make some decent picks (no Kwame Browne's or in this case Foxxy Brown's) and please don't think you need to come back as a rapper in order to save the franchise. If you're the Boss, run tings rudebwoy! don't be running the floor with dem youn uns. Handle ya business. Oh yea an about that vp spot, brothers be still waiting for an interview. You got the resume right? Yo, holla at ya boy, What? It could happen you know. :-)